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 Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 8:47 pm
Sue was getting really ******** tired of the hospital life.
The nurses had finally taken him off a restricted diet. In terms of Earth logic, this should mean that Sue was recovered and ready to go home. In terms of hospital logic, however, he still had to stay put until he was fully recovered. Which seemed to mean, fit enough to run a marathon, because Sue felt perfectly healthy already.
Unfortunately, his mother over the phone was willing to do whatever the doctors told her. So Sue was stuck. ******** hell.
It could have been worse, though. There was a little television in his room - it had color and sound and everything, good quality video. It was just the channels that was the problem - all local. Sue flipped from one news station to the next, probed the public access channel, and wound up falling squarely into the trap of daytime television.
Lounging on his side, hand propping up his cheek and the bedsheets pulled up just enough that he wasn't worried about flashing anyone entering the room, Sue adapted to this new voice in his life alarmingly swiftly. Two hours into a Maury marathon, Sue found he was able to predict the results of the paternity tests with something around a 92% rate of accuracy - whether the guy would forgive the girl afterwards, he was only at around 64%, but that number was quickly rising.
The only thing that was really sad about this was, Sue was secretly studying the faces of every guy that showed up, just to make sure it didn't match any familiar face in memory. You never did know where that deadbeat dad of his might turn up, after all.
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:02 pm
Somewhere in Destiny City hospital, a man was complaining to the desk attendant that his wheelchair had gone missing.
Andeon has parked his a** in this missing wheelchair, having commandeered it from some old man who seemed perfectly capable of walking. Of course, this was based on the fact that his legs didn't look broken when Andeon found him sleeping in his room, thus confirming his suspicions that the wheelchair was all for looks. This unnecessary use of a wheelchair only perpetuated the all too prevalent issue with laziness and a lack of physical fitness, so Andeon had taken it upon himself to save the poor old man from his own slothful ways.
Andeon, always thinking of others. Always give, give, give.
He rolled into Sue's room with a brown paper bag in his lap, looking as healthy as one could possibly look within a month of having their head chopped off. Chipper as ever, grinning from ear to ear. He gave a little spin, and looked at Sue with a grin that said SUP BUDDY YOU READY TO HAVE SOME FUN?!
“I brought supplies.”
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:15 pm
Somewhere between a woman hysterically swearing her utter faith to her man, and Maury unveiling that not one of her seven children had been sired by the same father, Sue clicked the mute button. He was in dire straits indeed, if a visit from Andeon Boskovic instilled him with hope.
"If supplies means some ******** Cheetoes, you are my savior."
Even as he said that, however, his eyes locked onto the brown paper bag. Now, there were several forms of Cheeto-serving etiquette - well not really, almost exclusively, Cheetoes were served in big plastic bowls - but paper bags were definitely not a common method. Paper bags were usually reserved for either deli meat sandwiches or, as was far more likely given the source....
"Is that even ******** legal?" It might sound like Sue was complaining, but that was so ******** not the case. He was already sitting up on the edge of his bed, taking that preliminary look around to make sure there were no adults within spying range. Sue had never been much for drinking before, but he felt that today was a fine day to change that.
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:28 pm
The deadbolt closed with a click, and Andeon wheeled is way further into the room. He was no longer dressed in the hospital gown he had worn for the past week, but had found a pair of simple khaki cargo shorts and a pink t-shirt that said 'Save The Boobs'. Apparently it was Breast Cancer Awareness week in Destiny City hospital, and Andeon was on that like white on rice.
“Legal is such a...technical word,” Andeon said, waving a hand as though to dismiss the notion entirely. Asking if something was legal was like asking if something was kosher. If you had to ask, then knowing the answer didn't really mean you were going to change your mind about it.
“I prefer to ask, What would Clint Eastwood do? And in this case, my friend,” Andeon pulled out a six pack, a bag of crunchy Cheetoes (to hell with those big fluffy cheese puff ones), and a box of individually wrapped Twinkies, “Clint Eastwood would eat, drink, and make bets on whether or not that white dude is that black baby's father. Here.” He pulled back the tab on a can of beer and handed it off to Sue.
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:51 pm
Clint Eastwood. ******** Clint Eastwood. Sue loved ******** Clint Eastwood.... Probably a good thing he hadn't said that out loud, what with the wording, but the sentiments stood.
"Never been much for technicalities," Sue muttered, accepting the can reverently. He sipped at it, getting a sense for its taste and content. Unlike Andeon, he still had an esophagus that hadn't had all the nerves burnt from it; he couldn't afford to be reckless, not if he wanted to keep his dignity. And Sue, strapped into a flimsy hospital gown as he was, did indeed care for his dignity.
Give the drink time to settle, though, and he'd probably be cured of that fast enough.
"So. ******** Barren Pines, huh." It was like his way of saying, how's that weather - a topic so discussed that he was sick of it, but still impossible to avoid. At the same time, Sue unmuted the television, making it the sole focus of his eyes. It was easier to talk when he didn't have to be reminded who he was talking to.
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:46 am
“Yeah dude, you know.”Andeon sipped at his beer, staring at the TV, “I'd rather drink bleach than think about that ******** place.” The ordeal that was Barren Pines was best left forgotten for Andeon. Between still not knowing what became of Fallon, being shot by the person he now practically shared his soul with, being decapitated, and remembering everything that came before that, Andeon preferred not to think about it.
Still, there was something about Barren Pines that had been left unsaid. Something which Andeon felt needed to be addressed before he could try to forget the matter entirely.
“I never said thank you,” he said, though he didn't look over to the other boy, “For taking care of them all after I – after Mackenzie-...” Andeon trailed off. It should have been easy, but it was surprising difficult to say after I died.
“Thank you, Sue.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 11:35 am
... Oh ********, it was going to be that sort of conversation, was it? No, ******** no. Sue had had enough of that one with Elke. No more apologies or thank yous or settling of debts that most people were too dead to care about. Barren Pines was Barren Pines. They'd all be carrying it with them forever - badges of failure or loss or pain or heroism. But everything that had to be said about it - well, ******** it. Surviving said it all.
"Mmph. Yeah." Sue slurped at the beer.
And everyone should take notice: That was how you ******** did those conversations. Without eye contact, no messy emotions being dragged out into the open, and with a weeping husband screaming yo mama like they it was supposed to actually be insulting after finding out that his father was his baby's daddy.
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:57 pm
Andeon nodded, and that was that. That was how men conversed. What needed to be said had been said. For men, apologizing or thanking one another in a heart felt manner was a lot like sex with a hooker. You did what you had to do, avoided eye contact, and never ever kissed on the mouth. Often enough, you came away with that same feeling of shame after it was all said and done.
“Oh, dude, I have to show you this.”
These were never good words to hear from Andeon Boskovic.
The boy practically leapt up from the wheelchair, pulling the curtains closed and stuffing a towel against the bottom joint of the door where light might get through. The door was locked, the windows were covered, and Andeon fished his henshin pen out from the back pocket of his shorts. The henshin was barely whispered, the transformation as sparkly and over elaborate as always. When finished, it was Gemini Alpha who slumped back into that wheelchair, kicking up his feet as he offered a brand new beer to Sue. It was an unknown brand in a brown bottle with a gold label, and Andeon had spent the past few days henshining over and over again to see if it would always appear.
And it always did. Every time. A brand new, ice cold, delicious beyond words magical ******** beer.
“Try it, man. It's like.. ******** beer magic. I think that's my power. I am a beer wizard.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 6:04 pm
For a few moments, all Sue could do was stare. Stare long and stare hard, and wonder what forces were at work to create such an abomination as was before him. Really. It was Andeon. In a ******** kilt. With magic beer.
And Sue was the one that had given him the power for it.
"This seems like an abuse of the pen, y'know." It was sort of like asking if it was legal. Sue didn't care; Andeon didn't care. Once upon a time, Zue may well have cared, but that had nothing to do with the here or now in which the cat's soul was still barely awakened. For this one time - this one time - Sue took the bottle, sniffed at it, and took a swig.
And then nearly sprayed it out all over the floor again.
"What the god-danged is this stuff?!" Sue choked out. "Doesn't taste like any ******** beer I know!" (Because Sue was so well-experienced, clearly.)
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 2:44 pm
“Oh, well, that might be because it's like ninety percent al-” Andeon squinted and peered at the label, “Ninety-three percent alcohol.”
Scotland would be proud.
“Man, abuse of the pen doesn't even begin to describe it.” Andeon laughed, and then he was sitting back in the chair, kicking his feet up on the foot of Sue's bed. If Sue happened to be looking at the right angle – let's pray to God that he's not – he would find out that the cosmos had decreed that Andeon would wear his fuku in traditional style; sans underwear.
“When do you get out of here? I would kill a-” Andeon paused. He had almost said kitten, “I would kill a puppy for a Grand Slam and some french toast.”
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Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 3:45 pm
You know what? Sue was a tough guy - the very picture of manliness - but that didn't mean he was insane. With a sour expression, he passed the Sacred Gemini Beer back to its proper owner. He'd stick to the canned crap, thank you very much.
"I should've been out yesterday. Try telling the damned doctors that, though," Sue grimaced, "or my damned mom." He hadn't even told her what happened. Hadn't even told her what people were saying had happened. It's all right Mom, I just passed out - and from there, it was managing the doctors, making sure they didn't leak anything Sue didn't want to get out. How the hell he'd managed to keep his mother from hearing about the dreaded organ trafficking plot, Sue still wasn't sure - but as long as it stayed under wraps, his life would be a whole lot easier.
Not that it wasn't hard enough already, clearly.
"For steak and eggs, I'd drown a whole damned litter," Sue agreed, his voice filled with all the wistfulness a starved carnivore could manage. But it didn't seem like he was going to get his wish anytime soon - instead, he decided, it was time to break out the Cheetoes.
"So." Crunch, crunch, slurp. "You're wearing a skirt." There were so many ways he could have taken it, ranging from rude to suggestive, but for Sue, that was enough. Making fun of Andeon was like telling a clown he had very large shoes on - it was missing the point and making an idiot out of yourself.
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Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:19 pm
Andeon had yet to contact his family. He hadn't been on the best of terms with the prior to his death and was skeptical that anything would have changed because of it. Thus, he continued to put off the inevitable experience of showing up on his old doorstep and seeing if the other side held open arms or a slammed door in the face. Until then, he had other things to occupy his time. Like educating Sue, who was decidedly less of a d**k nowadays.
“A kilt, man,” he said, taking a sip of his recently returned beer. A satisfied smack of his lips followed the familiar burning sensation. Delicious.
Being impervious to mockery had its ups and downs. Well, mostly ups. Andeon would take every insult in the book and let them slide off like water. After being burnt, being shot, and remembering that you spent your life once fighting unimaginable monsters out in the depths of space, it became difficult to find insult in words. They just didn't mean much.
“It's the traditional garb of Scottish men, you know. Either I'm Scottish,” which he wasn't, “or there's a deity somewhere with an excellent sense of humor. Since you complimented it, ” which he hadn't, “Steak and eggs are my treat if you're down for a jailbreak. I mean, I have a wheel chair."
Andeon grinned suggestively.
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Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:15 pm
... You know, it occurred to Sue to point out - that was not a compliment. And even to point out more clearly, you look retarded walking around in a god-danged skirt.
But Andeon had just promised him ******** steak and eggs. Steak and eggs, and a jailbreak. And Sue might have been a d**k - but he was generally good about smothering his dickish urges when there was food involved.
So, wiping some unnaturally orange and delicious crumbs from his face, Sue leaned back. "Jailbreak, huh?" His gaze drifted toward the window behind him, toward the outside, a world that was just bursting with promise, freedom, free breakfast.
His mom would flip if she found out. She would scream at him over the phone; maybe began crying, howling melodramatically that he didn't love her, he didn't respect her, why oh why after all she had done for him after his daddy left couldn't he at least try being a good son? But even if she did... Sue thought it would be worth it. For steak and eggs.
"... You got a plan," Sue ventured to ask at last, the ghost of a smile curving his eyes even as his mouth remained in a serious line, "Gemini?"
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