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 Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:45 pm
AIM Log -- Felyn & DFA
Khalla & Roho It had been a long time. A long, hard, cold time. She'd had her ups and down, she'd felt more alone than she had ever felt, and all at once she'd also felt more connected to her pride than she ever had before. This journey of the spirit, of the mind, was not about her pride though - not really. It was about the truths that had come to pass and one soul, one creature, one something, by the name of Roho'Eusi.
It had been many nights since Khalla had started watching the moon. Tonight she sat on that very ledge that had been her literal downfall, staring up at a full moon that bathed her in silver light. She was aglow with it, shining with white fur, her pendants as fiery as her eyes. Full moons were good omens in her pride and she was counting on this one - forever a believer in symbols, even if there was much left of her faith to question.
"Roho?" she called out, a question but at the same time not. It was a beckoning, for she had felt his presence near her often and though she knew little of his power, knew that he was near. Somewhere in the darkness, he waited. Not Enye Giza, but the true master of darkness.
It was time.He hadn't strayed far. He'd stopped trying and had eventually given into simply watching her from a near distance. Or not watching her - it didn't matter, because regardless of if he could see her or not, he could feel her there. He'd not been lieing when he'd told her he had all the time in the world; waiting was one of the few things he was a true master at doing. After his dismisal, he'd waited till morning and then he'd slept. He usually didn't NEED sleep, but he'd been so drained, both physically and emotionally. He'd also hunted amd ingested food - another habit he wasn't very used to indulging in, but regaining his energy in the least time posible seemed imperative at the time. After that though, he hadn't strayed too far, though he'd let her have her distance. He'd grown used to the arrangement they had, so hearing her call out his name into the darkness of the night came as a bit of a surprise. He hesitated only a moment before allowing himself to answer thee call, stepping out of the darkness and into the light, materialising there almost like a ghost would have - he was however, once more under disguise, and looked horribly sheepish as he drew nearer. He sat at a short though rather polite distance from her, "Khalla," he answered, though he did not dare meet her eyes. She would have liked to say that his materialization hadn't frightened her, but that would have been a lie. Had she been expecting it though? Sort of. So, despite the way she felt like jumping, she simply jerked a little before regaining her composure. "Don't do that," she said with a shake of her head, despite the fact that he was refusing to look up at her. However, it didn't seem to be in reference to his materialization. "I don't like lies, I would rather see you for who you are, especially if this is going to make you weak." She waved a paw at his illusion, though she had no idea what it was termed in her head. "I called you out because I'm ready to see you," she turned her chin up a little, almost defiantly, though what she was defying was only for her to know. Almost as soon as she did that, however, her face softened and she turned her gaze back up to the moonlight.
"You were there for me when no one else was, when I needed someone more than anything. Without you I'm not sure I would have survived that night." She staved away the sorrow, shifting her paws, and her tail flickered behind her nervously. Still, she went on. "A dark angel on a dark night, but I can only reason that perhaps it was meant to be. I'm no longer sure which parts of my faith are true and which are false - I have been proven wrong once - but I still have to believe everything happens for a reason."
She drew a deep breath and turned her gaze down from the brightness in the sky, turning it instead to look at Roho. "It is an ironic twist of fate, to be sure, but I feel as if I am supposed to embrace it."It was still probably an odd sight, watching the large lion actually squirm under her gaze and words. He took one glance at her as she spoke and resigned himself to doing what she wanted, even thought it was rather clear he didn't particularly wish to show himself for whom he really was. Still, he did as she asked; she might not have known but there was very little she could have asked of him at that very moment that he wouldn't have done. When the illusion shattered this time, it was much more gradual than it had been last time, however, in no time he was back to whom he really was. The only thing missing were his large wings, which he was aparently supressing, though more of his benefit than hers. After all, wings had a really nasty habit of getting in the way, specially when one wished to sit down or lay down, "As you wish," he no longer sounded tired or drained as he had that night weeks ago, but now he sounded horribly nervous, and it was probable that the slightest thing might have causde him to either have a heart attack on the spot or to run for the proverbial hills. He felt like he was being judged and the outcome would dictate his future. Or near future, as it was. He was a bit of a cynic and a pessimist by nature, so his first thoughts were that she was going to send him away. He had no idea why he believed this, but he really couldn't help it. Thus his squirming continued. His ears flicked as she spoke and he even resisted the urge to point out that he didn't particularly look like an angel - not even a dark one. Thus, it was a rather big surprise when he stopped panicing inside his mind and paused to really trully listen to what she was talking about. He even backpeddled in an attempt to make sure he had listened correctly. By the end of her explanation, he was stiff and looked torn once more, his expression easy to read despite the bone mask; he was nervous, for whatever reason, "May I...." he paused and tried again, still looking rather sheepish, if only because he wasn't all to sure how to handle the situation, "Would you mind terribly if I were to... lay down with you?" After her revelation, the one that had taken weeks to arrive. After everything she had said to him and everything she had just confided in him, she had to admit that his request to lay next to her was perhaps the very last thing she expected. Yet she couldn't find fault in him for it.
"I wouldn't mind at all," she said softly, moving from her sitting position to lay down upon the rocky terrain beneath her instead. She couldn't say that she hadn't been shocked by the second glimpse of him, but she was thankful for his gradual ease into it. Having him next to her would be a real test to her tolerance.
More than fear of him being close to her like he was, however, she was eager to see him and be near him again. They had been constant companions before that fateful night weeks ago and it had been hard to have her guardian gone. Thus, she simply lay there, bright eyes shining in the light of the moon as she stared up at him - waiting.
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 1:16 pm
Baby steps, he'd thought to himself.
In all honesty, he'd been wanting to join her by her side for days no, weeks, since the moment he'd had to vanish to give her space. He wasn't USED to wanting anything, and by the gods, now that he wanted something, he was going to indulge in it (with her permission) before settling into the real order of business.
He knew a talk was imminent and that it might not exactly be pretty or easy for either of them, but if he had to do it... he was going to make sure he was comfortable during it's duration. Thus so, the moment she moved aside and gave him consent, he padded towards her, allowing himself to lower himself at her side, perhaps a tad nearer to her than he had any real right to. While they weren't touching, they were barely just separated by a breath of air. So close was he that he could feel her warmth radiating from her, and it was only then that he realized just how much he'd missed it, which was ironic given the fact he'd shied away from her so often while in her company.
After he'd settled himself, he risked a look at her, "Where would you wish me to begin?"
Khalla drew a deep breath as he started to walk towards her, her eyes watching his form as it stepped away from the shadows he loved so well and moved into the bright light of the full moon. He was enormous, terrifying, a creature created from years upon years of fear from his followers. Could one even call them followers? And yet..
She knew him. She had known him for the gentle giant he was before this form, before the devilish eyes and the fangs had been presented to her. She was surprised to find that she could see past his exterior and into the heart that he had exposed to her when she'd assumed he was just a mere mortal, such as herself. For a moment, her only sadness came from the fact that she realized they were completely different souls in this world - and she knew nothing of his kind.
"Wherever you would like to begin, I thik I have called the shots long enough now, don't you?" Her response was pleasant, and she stared up at his eyes unblinking. It was a challenge. Her mind knew him, knew the soul beneath his exterior, but her mind still saw her cubhood terror. Yet the warmth next to her was comforting, not frightening, and as the moments passed she felt her body relaxing. Her great trial was less terrible than she had originally feared.
He seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if unsure what to do - it was clear he'd been expecting her to have questions and in a way, guide him through the whole process. Roho wasn't particularly used to confrontation (ANY sort of confrontation, even if this was friendly in nature) and he was struggling to regain whatever bearing he'd had before she'd spoken.
At least she hadn't flinched when he'd lay down beside her; in fact, he could already feel her relaxing, little by little, inch by inch. He could practically feel the tension melting away from her, and for some odd reason, his mind seemed intent on reminding him that he'd done that; his presence was allowing her to relax.
It was that thought what gave him the extra push he needed to begin, and clearing his throat, he looked away from her, "As you wish..." he paused just long enough to gather his scattered thought, arranging them in a way that would make sense to her, "My name is Roho'eusi... you know that, but it seems like as good a starting point as any. I don't really remember my mother, or my father. I know they're out there, somewhere, as is my sister, but I can not recall her face either. Gods don't usually keep ties like those of your realm do," a pause as he looked at her, "We tend to work better alone, save for... select instances - our powers usually conflict making it difficult to do what we need to do if we stay together. I always envied that from your kind... you had families and lovers. You have souls to relate to."
Again he hesitated but soon enough tossed caution to the wind and leaned over the few remaining inches - using his neck and head, he offered her what could only be termed as a gentle hug. It was soft enough that she could have pulled away instantly with little to no force, "I've been around since forever - a very long time. I don't really remember much of the past. I blurs in places. I've always been afraid; I stayed away from everyone because if there's no contact... there's no chance for pain. But I do know one thing; despite what my kind likes to think, we're not all that different, you and I, mortals and gods. We live, we die, and we feel, just like you do."
Khalla listened in silence as he began to speak. Her eyes remained trained upon his face, offering him all the respect he deserved from an audience. Her old teacher would have been proud of her attentiveness, she'd come a long way. Yet, the more he explained, the more she found herself beginning to feel sorry for the most powerful creatures she suspected existed.
"That sounds like a terribly lonely existence," she said softly, a frown on her maw as she did so. She felt him leaning in, and as he did so, her only response was to lean back into his body. It felt.. right. She wouldn't question what her heart was telling her.
Still, it was a lot to take in. Everything she had believed in was essentially false, or at least a skewed version of the truth. The great guide was no doubt a goddess under a different name, and darkness was a god using the cover of Roho's darkness. She sighed softly and shut her eyes, brushing her face against his shoulder and leaning her weight against his larger form. He felt.. real. He was solid, his fur was as soft as her own, and he smelled.. exactly the same as he had before.
"It's hard to think everything I ever knew was wrong, in some way, but in a way it's relieving to know the truth." She opened her eyes and glanced up at him her eyes simply staring at him for a moment. "All I can do is thank you, for so much. If I didn't know that your kind controlled our world, I'd think that you were sent to me for a reason."
"Not everything," he whispered, and he sounded lulled, almost as if he were pulling out of a dream just to answer her. In all honesty, he hadn't been expecting her to lean into him in response; he'd half figured she'd actually pull away.... or perhaps remain frozen stiff, politely waiting for him to give her back her space and personal bubble. Thus, he was pleasantly caught off-guard when she brushed her face against his shoulder.
It was making it hard for him to concentrate on the conversation at hand instead of the pleasantly calm feelings washing through him. Pulling his mind out of the molasses it was swimming, he tried to elaborate, "Not really - just... mild skewed. It's hard to see the truth when you have no real link to it. It's almost like looking at something through water; when you look into water, you can see what's inside, but it's... distorted...." and there he allowed his words to die down because he had just noticed she was scenting him and for some extremely odd reason, the notion was earth-shattering.
Why such a simply action from her would cause his mind to blue-screen, he wasn't sure, but he wasn't really about to stop and ask.
He turned his head to face her and was startled to find she was looking up at him and still talking. Which meant he really should refocus his attention back on her voice. With some difficulty, the almighty creature of darkness (oh the irony - beaten by a girl that was simply scenting him, good lord) blinked behind his mask and heavily considered asking her to repeat what she'd just said. Unfortunately, that wouldn't sit too well at this point, so he decided he would wing it - he'd caught words of gratitude but didn't, for the life of him, know what she was thanking him for. Not really.
"You have it reversed - I'm the one that should be thanking you," a pause and he squirmed uncomfortably, "I've never been with anyone. Not for a very long time anyhow," he could still remember his old mate, but he hadn't deserved her - he could hardly remember her. She'd barely been more than a fling if anything, and she'd died. He did, however, remember the mental breakdown it had caused him - it had fueled whom he was now.
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 5:54 pm
"That's true," she said softly, letting her eyes drop to the ground and away from his own as she thought about what he had said. It was very true, and yet, even as she tried to put thought into all of this she was distracted by other things. The beat of his heart against her side, the feel of his chest as he breathed, the sound of his words as they rumbled next to her ear.
She could feel her pulse quickening, and she tried to focus on all of the things he was saying. It was a little frustrating, she had to admit to herself, to feel more like an adolescent girl than a grown lioness.
"Then let's not thank each other," she said quietly, drawing up the courage to look back up at his glowing eyes. Not because she was afraid to see them, but because she was so nervous - why did she feel like she was going to turn inside out? "We were brought together by something, be it dumb luck or something bigger, and we should just be thankful that it happened, shouldn't we?" She drew a deep breath, fighting the urge to look away from him and give her heart a break, forcing herself not to break eye contact. "We shouldn't mock our good luck."
He nodded as she spoke, apparently pleased that she agreed with what he'd said. His words had been hesitant, not only because her proximity was doing odd things to his frazzled nerves and brain, but because the topic they were talking about was still almost like a fresh, open wound and he was trying to tread with care.
He could feel her getting nervous; the pumping of her heart was felt against his own side, more than heard, but his mind, or perhaps some other baser, simpler instinct was telling him that she was not repulsed. It was that mild feeling that kept him there instead of pulling away from her in fright. That and well, he rather needed this. It was strange how going without her presence, her touch (which he'd previously always pulled away from skittishly) had carved a need within him. He decided not to dwell in that thought and instead watched her as she appeared to ponder and then spoke.
Whatever it was he'd been expecting her to say... it probably wasn't what he heard, because his brows shot up being his mask (not that she could see, really - but his eyes did somehow shine with confusion; how he managed that was beyond anyone's wildest guess... his glowing eyes somehow, beyond all reason, transmitted emotion). Despite not expecting her words, he found them to be true, for whatever reason; he couldn't find logic in the situation at all. He was far past trying to find logic, really.
Instead, he pulled away from the 'hug he'd initiated, though just barely so. Just enough so that he could lean first his nose against hers and then, slowly, his forehead against her own, his eyes closing. Almost as if he were pouring some small part of himself into her; as if he were giving her everything he had to offer... everything he had to give in that small gesture. He found himself robbed of words, and it was quite a long time before he finally spoke, "I wish I'd known you a long time ago. You are my light."
She felt the change in his demeanor more than she saw it. He was relaxing into her, growing more comfortable than he had been around her previously. She had always seen the way he pulled away and until now she had absolutely no idea what the reason behind that could be. It had been a good reason, but she was glad he was warming up to her.
As he began to pull away, a slight frown formed oner her face. She was confused over it, to be honest. She was nervous, sure, and she wasn't sure what was going to happen from one minute to the next but that was no reason for him to --
Her thoughts stopped as he leaned down and pressed his face to hers, a deep breath exhaled from her maw. It was terribly intimate, more intimate than she'd been with anyone since before her cubs were born. Yet, at the same time it was sweet and gentle, the last thing anyone would have thought of the hulking god before her. Her eyes fluttered shut as his words swept over her and a smile spread oer her lips - honest and true.
"A light in the darkness," she murmured, her voice a whisper, as if she were afraid anything louder might ruin the moment. It was poetic, romantic, and yet not cheesy. Curled up with him beneath a full moon, braving the darkness she had only started to understand after years of misinterpretation.
"And you are my unlikely guardian," she whispered, "my darkness."
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