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[Q] Ellenira Fiona, Tiny!Guardian Cat [CritPLZ]

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Daekie

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:01 pm


Name: Ellenira Fiona
Nicknames: Elly, Fi, Nira
Breed: Javanese/munchkin
Attached to: N/A
Alignment: Senshi
Age: Appears to be about nine or eight in human form.
Gender: Female
Fav. Food: Strawberries! They're all juicy! And chocolate chip cookies are always yummy, yes they are~
Hated Food: Yucky spinach.
Hobbies:
Running Around, Hyped Up On Candy: Like it says. Elly eats lots of sugar and sugary foods, so she's more or less in a constant state of being hyper. It is an ART. She lusts after candy like a zombie after flesh. When she runs out of energy, she takes a long catnap, and if that's not possible...she drinks sweet coffee. (Yes, Elly actually likes being in human form, how'd you guess?)
Elly sleeps for about five hours a night, more if she's tired. Poor Kiya gets almost no sleep, because Elly will wake up suiperearly and start kneading her stomach.

Food Tasting: Is this a hobby? To Elly it is, at least!
Elly likes food. She'll eat practically anything, as long as it's not rotten. She'll take a bite of anything, and then if she likes it, eat it. That means she eats lots of food, but her next hobby sort of balances it out...

Chasing Butterflies: No matter what form she's in, Elly will chase bugs. There's a butterfly or dragonfly? Elly will go after it and attempt to trap it in her hands/paws. Ants? She'll stomp on them. Grasshoppers and anything else? Go after it as a catgirl and catch it in an insect carrier.
This is a quite peculiar quirk of Elly's, but it also means that she has a hard time standing still if there's a bug around. She does a lot of running to catch butterflies...and/or any bug she finds lying around. You know that cat that suddenly developed ADHD whenever it saw a gecko? The same is applicable to Ellenira Fiona, except for bugs and bugs only!

Virtues:
Friendly: Elly is a very extroverted cat. She's friendly, the "HI I'M ELLY WHAT'S YOUR NAME" person, and a lap cat all in one!
Elly wants to be cuddled and loved. She doesn't want you to be introverted and sad, she wants you to be Happy with a capital H! She will go right up to you and meow to you (talk if you're a Senshi), no matter what your feelings about cats are. This is a firm statement and will not change.
(Plot time: if she ever got into a traumatizing situation, she would sort of shut down and not respond to a thing. If she was there when one of her Senshi-or even her Bonded Senshi-was corrupted, she'd probably be corrupted as well; refusing to leave her charge. If she wasn't there but it still happened, you've got an incredibly depressed and half-comatose cat on your hands.)

Assertive: If something needs to be done, Elly will either tell you to do it (if she's unable to) or go and do it herself. If something is left undone, it will slowly drive Elly crazy until she runs off to do it herself.
Everything is done before it needs to be done. Getting herself fed, getting Kiya ready for school, going to talk to a Senshi...telling the truth about what you're doing. For once, a Guardian Cat will actually give you a rundown on your new job.

Modest: Elly will never brag. She will pass the rewards onto someone else who did the work, and only take a small portion of the credit for herself. (It's quite possible she has an Inner Elly personality who is much more harsh, but this remains undetermined.) Elly likes to think of herself as not much, although she likes to work.

Flaws:
No Filter: Elly's mouth has no filter. Neither does her mind.
Whatever she thinks will likely come out of her mouth, because she's just that unfiltered, so...
It's not that she curses. Elly would never curse, she considers it uncouth and dirtying of your mouth. But she says what she thinks, without any regard to what might happen. When she fights, she will not think her own thoughts, she'll talk them out loud! She says whatever comes into her mind, and says anything she wants, with no regard for respect. THIS IS A WEAKNESS-she blurts out plans to the opponent.

Disrespectful: Elly is very, very disrespectful. She believes that we're all equals, unless determined otherwise, so she'll challenge your authority until you prove you're on another, higher, level. This usually comes in the form of beating her up or being Astraea.
Poor Elly is simply an eternal student of the school of 'nose to wall', because she doesn't have any common sense or humility. (It also means you have a tiny little cat trying to gnaw your ankles off.)

Blunt: Elly doesn't believe in lying. Telling the truth gets things done, doesn't it? Why would you lie and get things done when telling the truth gets things done faster?
She never lies. Not even to make you happy. Because a honest statement is the best, right?

Gullible: Because Elly doesn't believe in lying...she finds it hard to believe that other people happen to love it. And because she thinks most people don't like lying, she often falls prey to lies. Tell her that there's a bowl of chocolate milk on the porch of the neighbor's house? She'll go over there and check it out! Tell her you're going to surrender? She'll likely believe you. Because she's sort of an idiot. It's not that she's dumb, really; she's just...very trusting. 'There's good in everybody's heart, no matter what'; that sort of thing.

(NOT FLAWS BUT THROWING IN HERE AS EXTRAS)
Hyperactive: Elly may be an adorable little thing, but she zips around like a dragonfly. Her human face is, some Senshi will complain, stuck permanently in the ' biggrin ' position. She bounces around like she's on a constant trampoline, and she almost never gets tired.

Lisp: Elly doesn't really have a lisp as it's commonly described, but she tends to replace the letter 'r' with the letter 'w'. Dragonfly becomes dwagonfly, really becomes weally, surrender become suwwender, pretty becomes pwetty, and so on and so on until you are annoyed to death. "Weally? You weally thought I'm dumb? But...it's the twoof!" It's more like a childish mispronouncing, honestly, and when she gets really depressed she drops it entirely. (She is a master of the puppy-dog pout.)

Two-Leg: Elly knows her human form is better for communicating for senshi most of the time. Wouldn't you rather listen to a little catgirl than a talking cat? However, she radiates power when like that, so she doesn't use it often; except for short bursts if there's a Nega there already. (It's also a little more endearing when a seven-year-old girl tells you something, as opposed to a cat smaller than your head.)
------------------------------------
Pose: Something energetic. However, for human: maybe head rolled to the side as she leans at a slightly less extreme angle? Curious expression? Arms sort of flopping to her side?
Kitten pose is anything. Ideally one of those kitten-in-the-air-batting-at-butterfly poses, where she's on her hind legs, eyes wide open as she bats at a butterfly with a paw.

Human Appearance: Ella appears to be about nine or eight (or even seven), and very tiny for that age. She's very slender, with eyes that seem overlarge on her small face. She has a small dash of freckles across her nose.
Her clothes are stylish and weird-white, purple, and orange are all colors of her clothes; lots of sequins and sparkles; butterfly designs. Bike shorts under a knee-length skirt. Tshirt with unusual sleeves, and possible 'biker' gloves-fingerless/backless gloves that cut off at the wrist, except very thin?
Glow bracelets, charm bracelets, a ton of bracelets, and ankle bracelets. Mood necklace in butterfly shape. Wears charm bracelet with butterfly on it on one of her wrists, is barefoot, and has slightly pale skin. Her hair is a dirty brown-blond, tied back in a ponytail falling to her waist.

Cat appearance: Slender. Long "brush" tail that is characteristic of a Javanese, but the sort of slim body you wouldn't really think you'd see on a Javanese. Ella's fur is a VERY light tan/brown/white, lighter then a purebred Javanese's coat, but you wouldn't mistake her coat for white unless you tried. She wears a butterfly on a charm bracelet on her front foot (which foot's for you to decide), and a butterfly mood necklace around her neck.
Her eyes are a light teal, and her star is light cream.
Javanese.
Munchkin cat. Tiny, tiny, tiny.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 6:54 pm



Daekie

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endejester

Feral Cat

PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:44 am


* - I'm curious what it is about chocolate that is 'poison' to her, there are ingredients in chocolate that appear a lot of places but not in chocolate itself, even the cocoa bean. Elaborate please on what would happen if she ran into it by accident? As someone with food allergies I sympathize.

Being Hyper is a Hobby? - This sounds more like a personal fact than a Hobby, I'd move it... also if her hyperactivity comes from sugar. Does she ever crash? What about her sleep habits? Has she thrown them off?

Following - this sounds more like a Fact than a hobby too - its a -fact- she follows them to and from, Hobbies I think more of as things like 'stamp collecting' or collecting first edition books, yoga.

-----


I FEAR A CONTRADICTION IN THE FOLLOWING!! More explanations COULD make this make more sense but as it stands I find I'm -deeply- confused how they could go hand in hand.

She's Analytic... so she studies possibilities, potential CONSEQUENCES aka Outcomes of actions - but she's also carrying a "Flaw" where she just -randomly- spouts plan information to the enemy? That would suggest she's not looking at those "Outcomes" at -all-. If you want to use this I would reconsider the how and the what of the things she has 'no mental filter' for. Or, change this flaw OR Merritt completely.
OR - write a situational example to explain how these two elements would work together to further our understanding.


Disrespectful - how does one establish that you are a figure of authority? Must this be mental? Physical? Magical? Is there anyone whom is an exception to this or is she simply an eternal student of the school of 'nose to wall' to learn her lessons? I think this could do with more detail.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:07 pm


Well, reading through her profile that you have she sounds very like her Senshi she is bonded to, but its a good profile just add touches here and there and it should be okay. Though your explanations for her flaws,virtues and whatever else needs to be elaborated more so the person reading through it can have a rough mental picture of her personality and what not.

StarshineAngel01

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Daekie

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:35 pm


Elaborated a bit.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:54 pm


That is better

StarshineAngel01

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Daekie

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PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 6:54 am


Thanks!
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 8:00 am


Well, thanks to endejester's very thorough crit, and Angelic's follow up, everything looks good to me =3 i don't really see any contradictions or anything 3nodding

Jolie Mariella


Daekie

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PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 8:28 pm


Thank you-she's one of my favorite characters, aside from Aci and Hades, and I really want to make her work! heart
PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 8:42 pm


Revised. Added a few character things that are neither flaws or virtues. heart

Daekie

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Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer

PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2010 4:00 pm


Hello! She sounds very cute. I just have a few questions to ask to see if you might want to think about them.

First, is there any reason why you chose her breed to be what it is? Have you looked over the personality for the breed to see if they match up? That breed isn't familiar to me, but I know that some cats are naturally more hyper than others, such as the Japanese bobtail. I didn't know if you'd looked into that or not... (Maybe I just have a bad habit of thinking too deeply into things...)

Second, being in the world of battling and violence, what would happen if she ended up in a traumatizing situation? I'm just asking because you mentioned that her friendliness would never change, but what if something happened in that she got hurt? Would she still be friendly, or will things change as her character develops?

Er... Again, I'm new at this, so I might be asking questions that will obviously not effect the main quest, but I was curious.
PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 5:43 pm


Changed, thank you! <3 I put in her Friendly virtue:
"(Plot time: if she ever got into a traumatizing situation, she would sort of shut down. If a situation that horrible happened-she'd be destroyed somewhat, mentally.) "

So, do you think she's good for crit?

Daekie

Stellar Wildcat

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Sin Sterling

Dangerous Nerd

PostPosted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:45 am


I have but one question that has been pestering me about this quest. The personality you have here does not fit the name. While, alright, I know they don't HAVE to technically.. this is just really standing out to me. She has a very cheery, happy-go-lucky kind of personality from what I read, and yet you named her Elegy.

An elegy is a mournful, melancholic or plaintive poem, especially a funeral song or a lament for the dead, or a sad or mournful music composition. It's often confused with the word Eulogy. So, why have you chosen this name for the guardian cat?
PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 6:45 pm


Ah, I forgot that it actually had a meaning. sweatdrop Could you help me with a new name? I originally had her name be Ella...

Daekie

Stellar Wildcat

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Daekie

Stellar Wildcat

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:38 pm


Her name's back to Ellenira Fiona. She's always up for crit~
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