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 Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:00 am
A short distance away from the lake, a dragon lounged in the sun. A thick fur was set just beside her and upon that lounge her rider, stroking her belly distractedly with one hand, the other arm flung over his eyes to shield them from the bright sun. It was quite a cold day but he was warmly dressed and no wind stirred the air; rather pleasant all in all.
Raith sighed her agreement to that, and lowered her head to the ground. Time for rest and relaxation. She would prefer it a little warmer - the temperatures back at... umm... Ista? Yes, Ista - had been pleasant, but she liked the clearer skies that High Reaches enjoyed. They could visit Ista any time they liked in any case, it was just better to live here where there was enough food, enough space, and no lice.
Lice. L'thor shuddered internally, he didn't miss them one bit!... He did miss his friends of course, but in the end he'd had no choice but to go, for Raith's sake... Now why it had taken him so long to finally decide to move he wasn't sure. Maybe he'd been waiting to know that everyone could do without him. That made sense. Veyes had made up with that lad C'mor. As for V'kain... V'kain had other good friends. They still saw one another, too, so that was alright. Stubbornness, then, and making sure everyone could do without him.
Raith twitched her tail against the scrubby grass to rid herself of an itch, wondering why it was that her bondmate's internal explanations never quite sat right with her. She might almost think he was lying to her... but he never lied to her, and she knew she would know if he ever tried. Perhaps she was just faintly uneasy with this new place as well and half wished there hadn't been a good reason to leave Ista. That made sense.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:43 am
Veyes stepped down from the big bronze dragon after hugging its rider for a good long moment. He really was going to miss C'mor and in some ways there was a bit of uncertainty when he would meet up with his friend again. It wasn't like it was impossible to find C'mor and his dragon but...being that he hadn't a dragon of his own, he had to rely on others to make it happen. One day he hoped that would change but for now he was at the mercy of the hatchings and hopefully one day...well...he tried not to think about that too much since his luck had been notoriously bad at Ista.
"Take care, Con." he said with an attempted bright smile. The decision to come here was a mix of his own desire plus Con telling him he should go. He had taken some time to confide in his friend about....he and L'thor and the Beach. Well, there was more than that and Con's rather grounded way of seeing things and good ear for listening seemed to think that he'd fare better discovering the truth of the matter than dwelling over unknowns in Ista. There was also a thought that it might improve his chances too.
High Reaches wasn't as crowded as Ista and although it was cooler weather from what Con had been able to scrounge up, it might be an overall healthier environment for man and dragon. Veyes suggested that Con come with him but true to Con's nature, he wouldn't leave until he finished something there. And that only could make Veyes smile. But he left Con with half of his marbles to keep him in his thoughts and to take a break...not be so serious 24/7. Of course, he had his doubts because Con only seemed to take breaks when Veyes came around but...he had changed just a little. Yes, they both had changed.
So as the dragon took off, Veyes waved and wondered if his luck might improve here. He felt...alone again. Well, he knew L'thor was here; that's why he came. But...truthfully, he wasn't sure what L'thor really felt. Was it a stupid idea to follow this dream? Hmmm...he couldn't rightfully say yet. But hopefully his other dream of becoming a rider would blossom here. Either way, he'd put his best foot forward and hope for the best.
As, he headed toward the cavern a hint of green caught his eyes and he had to stop and take a look towards the lake. There she was...a familiar sight. A creature he almost could call his second mother at times. Raith always seem to have a good understanding of him...even if he weren't her rider. Of course, she'd have to be like that to handle her rider.
His eye searched and found L'thor just where he expected...drifting off in the sunlight as if absorbing the beauty into himself just like his partner. Veyes stood there enjoying the view that captured him for a moment...his imagination wandering off to their first days together. They looked so serene by the lake. Should he be happy just for that and let them be? Maybe he had already been redefined as a memory. That caused a heavier sigh from his lips. It was hard to pursue a goal when one's heart was mixed with so much uncertainty. So he said nothing...just watching before deciding that maybe it might be best to just find his new quarters.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:56 am
A familiar sight caught at her attention, and Raith turned her head to see a large bronze loft into the air. Humm... The green set her head on one side, watching him until he vanished. He was familiar; she knew him... not well, but she knew him. An Istan dragon, then. Yawning to herself she made to lower her head again... and then she spotted the lone human. She certainly knew him, but why? Who was he? She wanted to say his name began with a D, but she wasn't certain. Well, maybe if she hailed him, he'd come and tell her.
Raising her head higher and fixing the figure with friendly blue eyes, the sleek green bugled a greeting. "Mine, somebody we know is here," she informed her bondmate cheerfully.
"Humm?" Not bothering to shift, L'thor reached out lazily with his mind to use Raith's eyes. What he saw made him sit up abruptly. Oh. What was he doing here? Not that he minded of course, he was glad to see him! Things had been awkward after the beach, but he would always be glad to see D'los... s**t. He had never made that mistake before the beach, and now it kept coming up in his mind. Shards. This was awkward. What was Veyes doing here?... Had he transferred? A part of his mind brightened at that prospect, while the rest shrank away. He wasn't ready to deal with this... but there was nothing to be done about it.
Trying to squash the queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, L'thor raised an arm in greeting. No getting out of this now, he supposed.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 11:08 am
Veyes was sure what to make of L'thor's reaction. First, it was a sudden movement, then a slow wave. The body language didn't acutally say...So happy to see him. It kind of said....Um...Hi. Well, maybe Veyes should have expected that and he took a deep breath and encouraged his own arm to wave back. Yeah, this was awkward and maybe he shouldn't have come at all. No...wait, there was a reason. Dragons...better possibilities for hatchings. Things that Con said he would need to focus on more if things wouldn't work out with L'thor. Con was right because if he did get a dragon, he wouldn't have much time to worry about anything else for awhile.
Still he didn't run down there to see the man but he did finally verbalize, "Hello." A bit far away but maybe the distance was something easier for them both. Veyes didn't have nearly the experience about relationships and he felt his imagination had be sorely lacking for advice as to what to do. This problem wasn't going to be repaired by some unique invention or imaginary friend. Although either or might have sufficed to Veyes at this point if any could tell him while L'thor acted like he did.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 11:31 am
"...Hi there Veyes," L'thor shifted on the fur and gave a slightly uncertain smile, "you look well... Are you well? Have you transferred here? It's good to see you again." It was. He'd missed him... But it was awkward too. After that night on the beach whenever he'd looked at Veyes he'd remembered the youth's words, and remembered all the times D'los had said such things to him. Odd dreams had assaulted him, one or other of them would be beside him, speaking in the other's voice, using their mannerisms. It wasn't fair to Veyes, but he couldn't help it. More than ever now, the shadow of his lost weyrmate hung over his young friend. To say it was disconcerting was a rather large understatement.
"Veyes!" Raith crooned happily to the young man as she plucked the name from her lifemate's mind; she felt this was occasion enough to speak to him diretly. "I am so glad to see you! I'd forgotten your name but not you, my friend. I knew I knew you, and that you mattered as soon as I saw you. Now I know exactly who you are again, and I realize how much I've missed you. It's quite a pain in the tail sometimes, having a dragon's memory," she added with a rumble, hoping to lighten the somewhat tense and subdued mood. She understood now why they'd left... It didn't seem to be what L'thor believed, but it was true. He had left Ista to escape his memories, and now they had followed him. Good. He would be much better off if he dealt with things rather than just pushing them away. It might be hard in the short-term, but in the long term they could all be happy again. Perhaps it had been a good move to begin with, to escape the immediacy of it all, but now it was time to cope. One way or the other, she would see to it that he did.
L'thor was aware that Raith had greeted Veyes verbally and was very glad of it. He didn't want his friend to feel unwelcome. He was glad to see him. He had missed him but... but it was hard. He didn't want to have to explain the truth to him, but it was beginning to look as though he had no choice. Eventually he would have to come clean. He didn't want to. He didn't want Veyes to think he had only become friends with him for his similarity to D'los. At first he supposed their likenesses had fueled his desire to protect and help the young man - it had certainly caused him to jump on that cat the first time they'd met - but it hadn't taken him long to care for Veyes in his own right... And then he'd gone and become just a little bit too much like D'los. He wished it had never happened.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 12:01 pm
Veyes moved a little closer if only to respond to L'thor's questions but of course he didn't move too close...Yeah, he didn't feel that warmth that would have liked instead a shift, hestitation and the uncertain smile. " Ah..yeah..I'm ok. Con brought me over. I've been transfered here. You know...I think staying around in the bad atmosphere wasn't making my chances any better for a dragon." he said stumbling over words and not quite looking L'thor in the eye. At least, this was true if not his first reason but still it probably should have been his first reason considering the situation. "The Weyrlingmaster I think was happy to get rid of me. And...you know, a new start...is always good. Looks like things are going well for you..." He pushed his fingers through his hair wishing he had tied it back better with the scarf but lately he hadn't had the heart to braid it all and missed the fingers that had taken the time to in the past.
But as soon as Raith spoke up with that happy voice a bright smile plucked the corners of his lips and soon he was hugging dragon side...well whatever part of Raith he could get to. Raith! My number one dragon! I've missed you too! Awh...thank you for remembering what you could of me. At least with Raith, he never felt awkward. It always seemed natural and warm even if she sometimes got a little lost of who he was. At least he was important in some way. He gave her a big affectionate squeeze with his arms. Well, big for a human...smaller for a dragon. You're looking good, Raith. You getting plenty of food here now? Are their nicer people here? He had so many boyish questions and he wanted to ask them all right now.
At least Raith, was a good icebreaker if anything. It didn't change his situation with L'thor but...he felt a little more welcome.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 12:13 pm
"Yes, there's a lot to eat here, as much as I need," Raith responded, tucking her head down slightly to 'hug' Veyes. "Almost all wherries, but fat enough, and there's pleanty of space! You'll like the candidate dorms, you won't be anywhere near as cramped as you were back at Ista. A for the people," she gave a rumble of amusement, "they're people, the same as anywhere. Some are nice, some less so, but we're settling in well over all. No sign of the flitts yet, but I'm sure they'll join us eventually." Fairly. For some reason she'd been thinking about them a lot these last few days, and worrying about them.
"A good move," L'thor found another smile from somewhere, "it's cold here, but I'm starting to feel at home here... I've missed you." What more could he say than that? Not a lot just now, it seemed; all his usual eloquence had abandoned him. How could he express it? Sorry Veyes, you look like my boyfriend and since you said you love me you remind me way too much of him for comfort. He couldn't even begin to bring the topic up, at least not right away.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 1:53 pm
He smiles at the big head that came down to give him a 'hug'. The feeling made him hopeful even when things weren't going so hot. He gave her face a warm kiss even if she probably didn't feel the small peck as much as the sentiment in his mind. "You're skin is looking so much better too, Raith. I think the new location has done you good." He smiled a bit more as he talked and thought... "Well, I saw them before I left. Little scrounging scavengers have been hanging out in my cot getting me into all sorts of trouble. You know how hard it is to sleep with 4 flits grousing around. Of course they can't tell me what they want exactly so my fingers and ears have been nipped a lot trying to get me to feed them. They've been thieving food and looking for handouts, I've been told until they latched on to me. I even got more chores because the little buggers followed me to candidate class. Ugh. You know I thought they would have come up here by now."
He paused in his chatter as he slowly released Raith, "I've missed you too." he said with a softer voice. "But I'm glad you're doing well." he pressed back into a cheerful voice trying to gloss things over from the previous words. It was a good mask of his true thoughts and questions. Why did you leave? What's wrong with me? Why won't you tell me the truth? Why do you always lie? Are you lying to me now? Did I do something wrong? Why can't you love me? Each one of them filtered through his head even if they weren't spoken on his lips. Whether or not Raith was still listening was another story.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:02 pm
Raith made a soft keening noise and lowered her head back onto the ground. This was depressing. She wanted Veyes to understand the issue right now, but she didn't want to push L'thor into talking before he felt ready. It was unfair, horribly unfair, the past shouldn't be coming between these two... But the past mattered to humans, even turns and turns ago mattered. The past was who they were as much as the present, they couldn't ignore it. Sometimes, she supposed, it was quite nice to have a draconic memory; once a sevenday or so had passed you forgot even the most traumatic things unless you were reminded of them. A mixed blessing then, although right now not so very mixed. If all they remembered was that they cared about each other...
She wondered how things might have been if L'thor didn't remember D'los. Might feelings have developed for Veyes? Maybe not, not yet anyway, but once he was a turn or two older he wouldn't be a boy anymore and maybe... Maybe something could have been. She wouldn't mind having Veyes around their weyr, he was a joy to be with when he was happy. She hated to see him sad like this.
"You know you can't keep him in the dark forever," she said eventually to L'thor. "You will have to tell him, not because you owe it to him, but because you owe it to yourself. Holding the truth inside can only make it hurt more, like a festering wound. Mine, you need to tell him."
L'thor sighed at his dragons words, seeming to shrink in on himself. He felt tired, and very much more than twenty seven turns old. He wished this matter would just go away, but it wouldn't. He had to explain... but he couldn't bring himself to, not yet. "Look..." he raised his grey eyes to meet stormy blue, "I'm sorry I left so suddenly 'Los but I -"
s**t.
s**t, s**t, s**t.
Transfixed by the horror of his mistake, L'thor found himself unable to continue, or even to break eye contact. This was it. This was what he had been afraid of. This was why he'd run away, but it had caught up with him. There was nothing he could do.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:26 pm
Oh crap! He shouldn't have thought that while he had been talking to Raith. Right away with the lowering of her head and the change in her voice, she had heard him. Ugh. I'm sorry Raith. I didn't mean to bring that up. I shouldn't have thought those things. Don't be sad. he thought right away trying to make amends. He didn't want her to feel bad for whatever he had done...even if he didn't know what that even was. Now that made him really feel lousy. What an unhappy reunion this had turned into.
When L'thor spoke Veyes listened but his eyes became clouded even as they held that gaze with confusion. "'Los....But....I'm not...D." He hesitated on those words as he knew that L'thor's lover had held that name. Maybe that was it all along, the man still grieved over his lost lover and...and he stepped rudely into that space. What else could it be? He hadn't thought of that...but time had gone by and maybe there was a small hope over the years when his own feelings started to develop that he might have a chance with L'thor.
"Ah, mm...I see...well you know I just got here and well, I've still got to get my bunk and all. They're excepting me and I can't keep them waiting. You know how it is for candidates." he said covering up the slip with another subject entirely because how could he even approach at topic like that? It was then he realized that he could never compete or compare to the ghost that haunted the man.
He turned grabbing up his bag and started to walk away. Maybe that was the best answer L'thor could have given him. It had always been....D'los.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:37 pm
"What am I doing to do Raith?" Shards. He should go after him. He should explain. Sharding shards! Everything had been fine. He had been at peace with losing D'los. Life had been good, but now... Now he found himself preoccupied with the dead rider again, that face crept into his mind in idle moments and smiled at him. That was almost pleasant but the dreams... D'los, wearing Veyes' face, asked why he had let him die, and Veyes with D'los' asked why he had gone away and left him alone. It was too much to deal with all at once all of a sudden. He had been happy. Why had that slipped away from him?
"Talk to him!" the green exclaimed despairingly. "It won't get better until you do! Not right now if you really can't, but say something to him. Don't just let him walk away on that note." Why did it have to be so complicated? Tailforks and Thread-dust, she would be very glad when they made up and she could forget about the stress of trying to patch them up!
Raith was right, again, as she always was. Pausing only to kiss his lifemate on the nose, L'thor sprang to his feet and sprinted after Veyes. "I need to talk to you," he managed to say as he caught up, "but first I need to think about how to say everything... Could I meet you later today, or sometime tomorrow? Please? I really... I really need to clear some things up with you Veyes." For both their sakes, he needed to explain. Maybe talking about it would help him sort his head out. He could only hope so.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 4:11 pm
He heard the feet and then saw L'thor sprinting around him. The words seemed rather desperate in a strange sort of way. Veyes's lips pressed together trying to choose a response. L'thor words tugged on his heartstrings for hope of answers...real ones. But truthfully he had doubts that the words would really be answers but well thought half-truths. But still, he couldn't say no because he wanted to believe better. Even with that in mind he still was afraid of what answers might be given.
Pausing in his stride, he'd finally answered, "Alright, L'thor...I'll meet with you. I don't know my schedule yet here so I can't promise when but...soon. " It was all he could say and he didn't look up to meet the man's eyes this time. There was enough painful thoughts going on in his head that he couldn't bear it at the moment. For now, he just wanted his bunk...some rest and a way to drown some of his sorrow.
Once his response was given, he continued his walk towards the caverns to find the Headwoman so he could get situated. There was nothing more he could say to L'thor and certainly L'thor needed time to figure out what to say to him. At least, when he finally made it into the Weyr, the normal patterns of candidate life began for him.
As he finally found his place in the Weyr, he sat on his new cot and realize that he had acted quite a bit more like an adult and in a few small ways handed the situation far better than he might have done a few years back. That was actually a nice revelation considering all that had occurred.
But still he had to find something else to think about because when he thought about L'thor and D'los there was this painful ache that started in the pit of his stomach and went straight to his head.
Leaning back on his bed, he tried to untangle the mess in his mind and let his thoughts drift off to other places. He wondered what the new Weyr was like. It was new start for him. Maybe this time, things would work out for once? Even with all the rough emotions of the day, it was hard to remain grounded in reality for too long and soon his mind started slipping toward his curious story about Conomor the Gold Rider...much to the chagrin of Con's bronze boy. And he even found a place for Naedreth in the story but he hadn't told Con about it yet. Naedreth, the Mighty Shoveler, who worked as dragon miner building an ENORMOUS cave for Con and his Gold...one spoonful of dirt at a time. Ok, maybe he would never tell Con about that part but he had to admit on that day, Naedreth's shoveling was a fine happy ending to a rather fateful meeting. Somehow...even with a dragon's memory, he had a feeling Naedreth would not forget the shovel.
It was with these happier dreams that young man finally drifted off to sleep. Hopeful happy dreams filled with the inspirations provided by the best of friends.
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Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 am
Soon. All things considered, that was the best he could have asked for he supposed. For a few moments he watched Veyes walk away. Eventually that became too depressing, and he turned to move slowly back over to Raith. Had he done the right thing? Should he just have tried to get all the words out right now? He really had no idea, nor did he have the motivation to try to figure it out. He was tired.
"Let's go back up the the weyr, you can have a sleep there," Raith suggested, getting to her feet and giving her rider a reassuring nudge. "Rest will help, I'll watch your dreams and wake you if they start getting odd, alright?"
L'thor smiled weakly and lent against his lifemate's shoulder. She really was wonderful. "Thanks love. Let's go." Rubbing his face wearily, he stooped to gather up the fur he had been so happily lounging on a few minutes ago before swinging up onto Raith's back. Rest and time to think would help. He hoped... But even if it didn't, even if everything with Veyes went to pot, he'd always have Raith. Feeling very slightly better about life, he turned his face to the sky and signaled his lifemate to take off. He'd work things out. Somehow.
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