“Caush imma Barbie guuurl, inna Barbie wuuuurld. Livinplastic. Ish asstastic!”

There were many reasons that Andeon could have been wandering the campus as drunk as the illegitimate lovechild of a German brewer and an Irish beer-drinking champion at midnight.

Perhaps he had forgotten his textbook in his locker and direly needed it to complete some sort of complex math equations. Perhaps he had left his favorite pen in his desk, and required it to write a beautiful and completely respectful sonnet to Miss Johnson. Perhaps he was off to meet a young lady who needed an escort back to the dorms. Perhaps pigs had grown wings, and soon would burst forth from his rectum and take to the inky sky to lose themselves among the brilliant stars.

Or perhaps he had simply been terrified out of his mind by some sort of screaming, elevator-destroying beast and was trying to wash away the memory with the sweet, sweet embrace of the Juice. Hell, maybe Andeon just really enjoyed being so drunk that he couldn't remember his own room number. Whatever the reason,, he was there. He was wandering. And my oh my, was he blitzed.

It was fortunate that the moon shone brightly, illuminating the grounds well enough that the path between the school building and his dormitory was clearly lit. Otherwise, there was a decent likeliness that Andeon would have stumbled into something and knocked himself unconscious during the seemingly endless trek back to the warm embrace of his bed. It was not fortunate, however, that he was not alone. Something crept in the darkness, scuttling along the grass as though drawn to his loud, abrasive singing. Andeon was unaware, even as the sound came from behind him, racing across the pavement with uneven steps. It moved quickly, carried upon an unholy multitude of pointy little legs.

Scuttlescuttlescuttle.

Tiny legs scraped across concrete, a couple of them working at only half capacity. The little headcrab, injured from being stomped on by some wretched boy - some wretched boy he had clearly only tried to love – scuttled along after the awful noise, dragging it's wounded little legs across the sidewalk.

“Y'can brush meh haiiiiirs. Undurs me ev'rywhaaaaars!”

Scuttlescuttle.

Still, the sound did not draw Andeon's attention, drown out entirely by his tone deaf tribute to the glory of Aqua. It was not until his foot snagged on one of the paving stones that the raucous melody came to a halt, just as Andeon's face collided with the pavement. His glasses flew off, bouncing along the sidewalk before coming to rest upon the grass. His vision blurred, the entire world spinning, the boy groaned lowly and lifted his head.

To find himself staring at something that looked like something from a terrible crossover of the Discovery Channel and a low-budget horror film.

Screaming was the first reaction that came to Andeon's mind, but with a mouth full of pavement and a bloodstream full of alcohol, his lips simply weren't cooperating. Neither, he would discover as he attempted to push himself up, were his limbs. His arms moved as though stuck in jello, the world whirling around him as though he sat at the center of a merry-go-round that had been spun far too fast.

“Nyurghen,” was the only sound that managed to find it's way out of Andeon's mouth as he stared at the little thing, which seemed equally curious. One bony protrusion poked him in the nose, another jabbing at his forehead. Andeon went cross-eyed trying to keep his focus on the thing as it reared up upon its back few legs, the rest pressing against Andeon's face as though attempting to identify it. Whatever the little thing was up to, it tickled something awful, and Andeon couldn't keep in the low, gurgling laugh. The little monstrosity twitched as though surprised, scuttling back a few inches.

“Well heeeeey there little guuuuy,” Andeon drawled as he slowly managed to lift his head from the pavement. He watched as the thing scuttled away into the grass, shoving its exoskeleton-like body beneath his lost glasses. Lifting up, it secured the rose-colored lenses upon its back, carrying them over with a scraping of legs that reminded Andeon of fingernails on a chalkboard. The little thing gave a tiny jump and prodded Andeon in the nose with one sharp leg.

“Thankyooooou,” Andeon murmured, the single mashed up word sandwiched between two low, drunken giggles at the tiny creatures antics. Slowly, he retrieved the lenses from the back of the spiderlike creature and returned them to his face. The thing seemed rather pleased with itself, scuttling about in a few wide circles before giving a few more tiny hops. The last of them ended in a sharp scree as it landed on an injured leg, pulling the damaged appendage in close to its body.

A frown crossed Andeon's usually grinning lips, and he pushed himself slowly to a standing position, wobbling as he did so. From behind his rose-colored lenses he regarded the little monster, his heart practically aching. Clearly it was just some mutated cat. A mutated, injured little kitten in dire need of care. It attempted to climb his leg, it's injured legs twitching with the attempts. It made it as far as his knee before sliding back down. It rolled off of his shoe and back onto the ground, where it sat for a moment to wallow in its failure.

A moment later, it tried again. And again. Each time it made it perhaps an inch less, until it could barely manage to get past his ankle. Each time it gave a pathetic little scree and tried again. Andeon watched with booze-induce fascination as the 'kitten' obsessively tried to climb, his heart breaking a little bit more each time. He stared down at it, brows drawn down as the thing pathetically tapped two legs against the toe of his shoe.

Andeon bent down, scooping the crabthing up in his hands. It wasted no time, scuttling up the length of his arm, over his shoulders, and finding a perch atop his head. It curled its terrifying legs around his head and gave a happy little click, holding tightly to its newfound perch.

Andeon, it seemed, had found a pet.

With a wide grin on his drunken face, a headcrab firmly latched in his hair, a bond was formed. There was no logic or reason that could explain why the headcrab did not try to kill Andeon upon first sight, or why Andeon was so drunk that a monstrous headcrab could be logicked away as a mutant kitten for which he must care. Logic, Andeon had always felt, was for pussies and losers anyways.

“I shall call you...” Andeon mused as he stumbled towards his dorm. “Snuzzles. And you will be my Snuzzles.”

As Andeon picked up his singing once more, Snuzzles clicked along from atop his head. When Andeon failed to remember the words, Snuzzles was there with clicks and screes to fill in the gaps. When Snuzzles was to tired to hold onto Andeon's head, the boy carried him in cupped hands all the way to his room, where he put the tired little headcrab into a shoebox lined with toilet paper, setting him upon his nightstand.

“Goodnight, Snuzzles,” Andeon said, pulling a washcloth halfway over the little headcrab, as though tucking it in.

“Clickclick,” Snuzzles said back, wiggling himself into his newfound tissue bed.

As soon as Snuzzles was fast asleep, Andeon promptly vomited on the carpet, passing out before the thought of cleaning it up even entered his head.