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One guy was in his living room watching a show when his friend ran in. "What was that noise?" his friend asked. "Oh, I'm watching Code Geass." he answers. "But it sounded like a girl being rapped while millions of people were being slaughtered." "Yeah, I just said I was watching Code Geass."

Lelouch was sitting in his room when C.C walked in and saw Kallen polishing Lelouche's helmet with red eyes. "What's Kallen doing?" she asks. "Oh, I used my geass to make her polish my helmet." "Why?" "Well I'm not gonna do it." Kallen finishes and her eyes go back to normal. "Stop doing that!" she screams. "Hey, at least I'm not making you give me a lap dance." he complains before C.C says "What about last week when you..." "Had dad dad, no more talky!"

This joke takes place when Diethard first joined the Black Knights, I can't remember where this was and won't look it up.

"Thank you for letting me join you Zero." Diethard said "And I "won't" betray you." he said winking at won't. "What?" Zero asked. "I said I "won't" betray you." "Say that one more time." "I "won't" betray you." "This time without winking." "I won't betray you... Wink"

Lelouch and CC are sitting in that room they sit in allot when Lelouch says "Man I'm hungry, mind if I grab a slice of pizza?" leaning over when CC pulls a knife out of nowhere and stabs his hand to the table. He screams trying to get the knife out when she says "Try that again, and you'll wake up hanging by your testicles in the Eiffel Tower." "YOUR A FREAKING PSYCHO b***h!!!"

VV is in that mountain base sitting in that meeting room with that council of his when one of them says "Rely, no one has the guts to say it, I'm gonna have to, (sigh) fine." he then gets up and says "Hey VV!" "Hm?" "Get a f@#king haircut!!!"

This joke takes place after the episode of when Shirley's memory was wiped by Lelouch after she went nutsy coo coo and tried to kill him .

Lelouch is getting paranoid about people finding out he is Zero, at school he walks out of a classroom when Rivalz walks up to him and asks "Lelouch, did you hear about what happened with Zero and..." "No I'm not Zero!!!" he screams. "... Uh, what?" "Uh nothing, hey look over there!" Lelouch shouts as Rivalz turns around and he runs off. Milly sees Lelouch and says "Lelouch, can you..." "I'm not Zero!!" he screams still running. "..." Lelouch starts to slow down outside panting like a dog "Must(gasp) never(gasp) run(gasp) again!" he walks down the road when a person walks up to him and says "Lelouch, can you help me with this report..." "No!" Lelouch screams running again. "... Jackass." Lelouch keeps running yelling no to everyone he passes untill a girl about his age stops him and says "Lelouch, would you like to go out and most likely have sex afterwards?" "Yes!"

Lelouch is doing a crossword puzzle. "Hm, a four letter word for a number before one... Hm... Uh... Screw it." he says throwing it away.

This joke is meant to take place during a discussion Kallen has with Lelouch in the second season.

"I mean how could you do this..." Kallen yells at Lelouch while he sits in a chair. "I mean, first you act like a selfish a** when I first meet you, then suddenly you turn out to be Zero, and now you expect me to forgive you just because you saved some of the soldiers that were captured because of you, how can I ever be able to trust you if you keep... are you even listening?!" "What?" said Lelouch looking away from Kallen's chest to see her face. " stare "

What if... a soldier challenged Zero to a one on one Knightmare fight?

"Come on Zero, I'm ready for this!" yelled the soldier. "Hit me with your best shot!" he then sees Zero charge his Knightmare's radiation blast. " eek Hit me with your second best shot!"

Many Black-Knights were flying out of the HQ going towards a battle, Lelouch was getting ready to fly in his Knightmare when it fell as soon as it went up, he crawls out grabbing a fuel can and trying to fuel his Knightmare muttering "I told CC three freaking times, I need her to fuel my Knightmare, and every time she says she won't forget and she turns around and forgets. GOD! I might as well talk to a f#$king wall."

Lelouch and Rivals were in the school dorm working on homework. "No see the... Rivals are you paying attention?" "Hm, oh sorry, I just found this picture on the floor an hour ago." "Huh?" Lelouch takes it and looks at it, he panics as he sees Kallen in the picture. "Uh, Rivals just forget you saw this picture ok?!" "But what was she wearing?" "None of your business!" "But it had bunny ears and wasn't that you in the background with a champagne bottle?" "No!" "But then what's with these?" Rivals asks pulling out a box with pictures on it. "I mean this is you two on a beach, and this one is of you two in a Knightmare cockpit, wait how did you even get into one and... WHAT THE F$%K!?!?" "What?!" "Why is there a topless picture of my mom here?!" "Hey, it's not my fault she's hot." "Why is there lipstick on it." "That's her's." "What... Gah... You... I got to go!" Rivals ran out. "Huh." Lelouch pulled out the picture of Rival's mother.

This joke takes place when Lelouch lost and was about to get mind f$%#ed by his father with Suzaku holding him down.

Lelouch is frantically trying to get Suzaku off him while Suzaku smashes his head to the ground and Lelouch stops for a second and looks down before screaming "Are you getting turned on by this!?!?" "Only alot I swear!"

Ok... How do I do that?