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 Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:39 am
 Stretching out as she stepped out of the den, Feana sighed quietly and turned her blue eyes to the sea. It was so pretty this morning, especially this early when the sun rise colors lingered just a bit longer than normal. Licking her muzzle, the pale lioness padded down to the beach to just relax and think. She'd been doing that a lot, it seemed. She had yet to confront Kenya about what she really thought, hadn't talked to Cit in a while, and she hadn't even contacted her mother since the coming of age ceremony. With a little grunt, Feana laid herself out on a washed up log and sighed.
She really needed to discuss things with her mother; needed to talk to her about her sister and new little nieces and nephews. Hell, she didn't even know their names or their father. But in her mother's eyes, did she deserve to? Sure she'd changed from when she first got here; she was older, wiser. Feana understood her feelings for Kenya weren't as strong as she thought they were. She found herself growing detached from a lot of things around her. Of course the silver and pink one knew that it was a bad sign, but what could she do about it? Her mother always favored 'the perfect' one over her. That's how she felt, and her mother knew that.
Letting a look of completely loss take over her face, Feana closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. She wanted today to be a good day; but the outcome wasn't looking good.
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:48 am
Azriell'kyupe was having a good day - despite having been woken early by a youngster eager for an early-morning story, she had managed to escape in time to see a beautiful sunrise. She did enjoy watching the rising sun. As she watched the great orb of fire and light rise up and cover the land with it's warm glow, she knew her children would be experiencing the same thing, wherever in the world they were. She did miss them - the twins, Takuma and Amanzi. Zuri and Adisa, back in the Pridelands. Jesenya and Feana were here with her, and she knew how they were. But she hoped her other children were finding happiness, perhaps settling down. And she hoped Amanzi was keeping her twin brother out of trouble.
Wandering down the beach now as the morning wore on, Azi had found several trinkets, and had been collecting them to show the children. The youngster's had to learn about the different shells and their meanings, and what the sea was trying to tell you with the trinkets it gifted you. Luckily, she had yet to find any bad omens - only pretty shells, a little seaweed, and a piece of driftwood. They were all gathered near the dunes, not too far away, and now she was venturing a little further, hoping whislt at the same time dreading finding a bad omen. As terrible as they were, the children needed to know. She didn't plan to touch, or move it. Just call the youngsters over, show them, and give it back to the sea.
Spotting a familiar shape up ahead, Azi's smile widened a little. Ah, Feana, her daughter. She hadn't seen her in a while, but then she'd been busy, helping Jesenya and Kairav to care for their little ones. Azi had had to deal with six cubs by herself, so helping the pair look after seven wasn't too difficult. But she did feel she'd perhaps been neglecting Feana - the two weren't always on the best terms, and although Azi always tried, she knew that Feana felt unloved. The older lionness just couldn't help but be disappointed in her daughter, for having cubs at such a young age. She thought she'd taught her better.
But Feana was older now. Even as Azi approached she could see the defined muscles her daughter sported, she was larger, bulkier. Feana had learnt from her mistakes, and Azi knew that. Perhaps now was the time to make peace. "Feana?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:57 am
Her mother's voice caught her attention and her expression changed quickly. She didn't want her mother to see how hurt and lost she was just then. Forcing a smile on her face with practiced ease, the gray lioness rose and went to meet her half way. "Morning, mom," she said quietly, not sure what else to say. She didn't want to start an argument fro the get-go. That would ruin everything that she'd worked so hard for. She couldn't help but flash back to her ritual though. Even then, on her day, the two had managed to bicker.
She didn't want to even think of bringing up her 'perfect' sister. Feana was beginning to think that her sister was some kind of goddess in disguise with how much praise she got, not just from mother, but from the others in the pride. Feana had even heard her cubs being called perfect. It made her sick. She made one mistake and suddenly she was a black smear on a perfect family. Feana was the one everyone watched to see if she'd make another wrong move.
Well, she wouldn't disappoint. Slowly, but surly, she was falling for another male. One who'd just joined the pride not to long ago. The locals had seen her with him on more than one occasion and it probably had gotten back to her mother.
"You are up early..."
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:38 am
Feana met her half way, and Azi's smile widened. She hadn't heard any rumors about her daughter, despite what Feana was thinking. She wasn't one to gossip, apart from with Sevati, and the fact that she hadn't heard anything pleased her. Maybe Feana was starting to learn how to avoid the trouble she'd always seemed to get herself into as a child. A quiet greeting was given, and Azriell'kyupe's smile faltered, as she lowered her head a little in a concerned gesture, gently nuzzling her daughter's cheek with a purr.
"Are you alright, Feana? You seem...upset." Azi questioned carefully, not wanting to upset the female. She knew she'd done wrong, in the past. She'd looked at Jesenya more favourably, comparing her two daughters. It wasn't fair. But it was difficult, as a mother of so many, not to. But she saw clearly, now. She had to fix the rift that had grown between them. Feana started a rather awkward conversation, but Azi ignored it, nuzzling her daughter once more.
"Feana..," she began, sighing gently as she sat herself down, indicating for the younger lionness to do the same, "I...I know I've been unfair, lately. I've been neglecting you, spending more time with your sister and her children. I apologise, just as I apologise for any hurt I may have caused you in the past." She paused, sincere emerald eyes glancing up directly into Feana's, "I love you, Feana. I'm sorry if my actions may have suggested otherwise in the past. But I love you - very, very much." Azi reached forwards, pulling Feana into a close hug, not taking no for an answer as she kissed the top of her head fondly.
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:05 am
The speech she had for this flew out the window when her mother started talking. How could she stay mad at her mom when her mom knew she was in the wrong and apologized for it? She shifted awkwardly and cast he blue eyes downward with a sigh.
Unfair was taking it lightly. But she wouldn't cause trouble if peace was to be made. She needed to apologize to Jesenya too, even though Jes probably didn't know Feana did anything wrong to her. "Mom...." She began, voice wavering softly. "I followed you here.... so you could help me raise my cubs, because I was to weak, to young to do it. ....And you didn't help. That hurt me so deeply. I came all that way, pregnant, scared, confused... With a guy I thought I loved.
"I didn't know that my pregnancy would disappoint you. How could I say no when I was in heat and he was bigger than me? At the time, I wanted it. Id don't regret having cubs at the age I did, I love my babies. They're my life now. Like.... yours were once yours. But now you don't see me, you don't see them. All you see is Jes. I know she's your favorite, but don't let my mistake keep you from spending time with your first grandchildren. And you know they are your first." She took a deep breath. This wasn't to start a fight. She had to get all of this off her chest before it consumed her.
Now time for the hard part. "I... don't love Kenya like I thought I did when I was younger. I love him, yes... but... it's different than... what I feel for another male.." She hung her head, her bangs covering her eyes. Shameful, wanting another mate when she had one. "..The sea's accepted this other male. It helped me cure his injured paw when we first met..." Looking back up, she swallowed thickly. "I don't want to hurt Kenya by leaving for this other... don't think of me as a.... a whore. I'm not.. I just...." She sighed again. Feana didn't know how to finish that sentence.
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:17 am
Feana started talking, and Azi felt her heart begin to ache, tears forming in her eyes. She'd known she'd been wrong...but she hadn't known her mistakes had caused Feana such hurt, such distress. She hugged Feana tighter, if it was possible, a single tear escaping, running down her cheek as she ran her tongue across her daughter's head. "I'm sorry, Feana. I'm so, so sorry. I admit my mistakes - I was comparing you to your sister, and that wasn't at all fair of me. You're two different lions, with different personalities and different hearts. It's impossible to compare you, and I attempted the impossible. I now see how wrong I was."
Another pause, she released Feana from her hug, backing away a little as she watched her daughter, sadness on the nanny's face. "I didn't understand the situation, because I didn't ask. I can do nothing else but apologise now, Feana. Jesenya is special, yes...but you're just as special, in a different way." She smiled through her tears, nuzzling Feana fondly, "You know...you remind me a lot of myself, at your age. Lost, alone. I should've noticed, but instead I repeated the mistakes that caused me such pain. I love you, Feana."
She didn't like Kenya? Azi frowned, but it was a thoughtfu one as she watched Feana, allowing her to finish before she started speaking. Her daughter sighed, and Azi motioned for her to continue, before realizing she couldn't, and instead sighing herself as she began to speak. "Feana...love is a fickle thing. Your father...I thought I loved him, but soon realized my mistake." She placed a paw on Feana's shoulder reassuringly, smile widening, "I'd never think of you as anything less than my daughter, Feana. My beautiful, precious, perfect daughter. Life can be difficult - you'd just got to take it on the head. I can only give you advice, since only you can decide the path you want to take. And whatever path you take, Feana, I'll be proud of you."
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:35 am
Her mother knew just what to say when Feana needed it. The smaller lioness gave her mother a hug for the first time in memory and nuzzled into her neck, a very, very soft purr coming from her throat. So her mother knew what she was going through, sort of. Maybe she's have to come around for advice more often. Sighing and pulling away, she licked at her mother's cheeks a couple of times before giving herself a hard shake.
"So.... How many.... does Jes have? I don't know anything about them or her mate or anything. I was pretty out of the circle for a while..."
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:44 am
Azriell'Kyupe finally broke into her brightest, widest smile yet, hugging Feana back tightly, responding with a purr of her own. Azi received the licks with warm purrs, smile lessening to a warmer, happier one. Especially as Feana questioned about her sister's litter. Yes - this was certainly progress. She chuckled a little, in good spirits now that peace was made.
"Your sister beat me," she spoke, smiling all the while, "She had seven little ones. Have you met my friend, Sevati? Jesenya's mated to her son, Kairav. He's a nice boy - probably a bit too boring for you, though." She even attempted to joke, smiling. She knew she'd have been the same, at Feana's age. That was what had happened with Pembe. She'd wanted something fun, something naughty and adventurous. Now she was older, she realized that something more long-term was much more preferable, and she loved Kaja dearly. But Feana was still young. She still had all the time in the world. "We can go meet them, if you'd like. Jesenya would love to see you."
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:47 am
She blinked at that and laughed, shaking her head. Feana hadn't met Jes' mate, but that didn't make any difference. She wanted to meet her nieces and nephews; it'd be wonderful to be surrounded by cubs again. "My cubs are so independent. I haven't really seen any of them.." She murmured softly, shrugging a bit. "We could do that today... or tomorrow, if it's better for you? Mom.. When are you going to have more cubs? What happened to your mate? I haven't heard anything about him in a while. Even forgot his name."
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:52 am
Independent? Azi smiled, nuzzling Feana gently to try and reassure her. "You were independent at that age, Feana. Didn't want any of my help, just wanted to be left to your own devices. But look at us now, hmm? They'll learnt their own mistakes, and it won't take them long to realize that they need you. Give them time, honey. And today's fine - we could go now? I've not got a shift until this afternoon."
More cubs? The question wasn't expected at all, and Azi's eyes widened a little, the lionness taking several moments to compose herself and form an answer, althoguh managing to smile a little, "Kaja. He's been busy lately. I haven't seen him for a while, to be honest. But the idea of cubs...I'd love another litter, Feana. I'm just not sure he feels the same way."
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Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 3:49 am
Feana listened to her mother and gave a bit of a nod. Her mate sounded like he loved his mother, but.... with him being so busy, it was a wonder they were still together. Taking a deep breath, Feana moved away from the beach, expecting her mother to follow. "Let's go see my sister and nieces and nephews."
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Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 1:31 pm
Feana began to mvoe away, and Azriell obediently followed, smiling widely to her daughter. She was speaking the truth - she was proud of Feana. She'd turned into a beautiful daughter, and despite her mistakes, she still fought through. Still brought up her children. Azi nuzzled Feana behind her closest ear, purring loudly as she nodded.
"I'm due to begin looking after them soon, so you can help me. Get to know them a little better."
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