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 Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 2:38 pm
Hey guys!
This is my quest for my schoolkid Karmilita.
I hope that someday she'll become this Senshi.
With this particular sphere, it could take a while to fine-tune, so all crits are appreciated!
Please, only critique the Senshi portion of this quest as Karmi is already a schoolkid.
BIG UPDATES:
ACCEPTED!
STILL WORKING ON NEW FUKU DESIGN
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 2:39 pm
::Student Info:: Name: Karmilita Fauxtiev (Foe-tee-ev)
Nicknames: Karmi
Age: 16
Birthday: October 11th
Sign: Libra
Blood Type: B+
Fav. Food: Pumpkin Tart and Lemon Tea
Hated Food: Boiled Eggs
School: Meadowview High
Hobbies:
Floral Arrangement - It might take her several tries (and several fickle moments) to get an arrangement to her liking, but she enjoys sitting down with flowers and making them fit together in a beautiful puzzle.
Track - Track gives Karmi the possibility to change her mind about what she likes best. Be it straight running, long jump or a discus throw, she’s all for it. As long as it keeps giving her the freedom to choose which event she enjoys most, she'll stay with it.
Collecting Cell Phone Straps - Karmi’s phone changes just as her mind does; with a new cell phone strap/accessory almost every day. Once a week she takes a trip to a shop which specializes in cell phone accessories and picks out a new strap to suit her fancy.
Karma - Though it might not be considered a hobby by normal standards, Karmi’s nickname has led her to the world of karma. Everyday, she takes time out to recount what she’s done and tally her good karma vs. bad karma. She keeps a diary dedicated to this principle and checks it often to see if her good outweighs her bad.
Gemstone: Opal
Virtues:
Energetic - When there’s something that needs to be done, Karmi is all for it. Perhaps sometimes to an annoying extent, she’ll go forward with any challenge (as long as it doesn’t involve breaking a mirror). Regardless of what the end result might be, she is down for it.
Naturally Lucky - Karmi does her best to play by the laws of karma. In return, her good deeds are rewarded as uncanny “lucky” instances. (Or so she believes.) Though she might not always win the big prize or score the winning goal, luck follows her and gives her an extra boost. Most of the time she prefers using this random occurrence to help others, not being concerned with only herself.
Empathetic - Someone can be having the worst day ever and Karmi would the first to know. She is very in-tune with the emotions of others and uses that ability to try and help their situations. Outwardly, this virtue is viewed as strange, but with Karmi's loud personality won't let someone in a bad mood stay in a bad mood. No matter what is said about it, she ignores the critique and will do what is best for that person.
Candid - Karmi keeps practically nothing to herself (save for secrets), but doesn’t like spreading rumors. This is her outspoken side. She loves talking to new people about all kinds of subjects, be them important or not, and won’t shy away from a new conversation.
Flaws:
Co-dependent - Karmi has a strong desire to be near people at all times; even if they’re not talking to her, their presence is still known to her. She feels vulnerable without others nearby. This can cause many problems because once she makes a friend she will most likely cling to said person. When they aren’t there, or if no one is around, she feels that she can do nothing correctly or well.
Fickle - There is a mysterious inconsistency to Karmi’s persona. Her mind can dart from one subject to the next. One subject she likes one day can become the next voted-out thought in her mind. The sudden changes can make her unstable and constantly causes her to second guess her ideas and opinions.
Superstitious - If there’s a ladder, Karmi won’t walk under it. If there’s a black cat, she won’t let it cross her path. Often times she is absorbed into the world of superstitious tales and, more often than not, will allow those tales to get the better of her. Knowing that she is luckier than some, she is frightened of putting that in jeopardy. This makes her a slave to her own fears. Due to this, she clutches onto her good luck charm with dear life when threatened and vows to never take it off, feeling she can’t function without it.
Envious - A distraction of the green-eyed monster can push Karmi into a corner. Though mainly through quiet festering, Karmi can become quite jealous about mostly anything. Many times she wishes she was prettier or could wear that hair accessory just right. Constant reminders of her own positive traits by others can keep the monster at bay, but it won’t stop her from wishing she had a guy like yours.
Physical Description:
Hair: To suit her odd lifestyle, Karmi’s hair takes on the distinct color of pink. Naturally wavy, she is determined to keep it short so it won’t engulf her face, so it hangs loosely down by the nape of her neck, with layered bangs at the front. Also, to make sure boys don’t bother her, she follows an old GAL tradition and has a single red streak in her hair on her bangs to show she’s “taken”, when of course she really isn’t.
Eyes: A compliment to her pink hair are her round, green eyes. They retain a piercing brightness regardless of her mood, but never lose their subtle kindness.
Face: There’s usually a smile to be found on Karmi’s oval face. She has a very distinct chin and her cheek bones are prominent on her face. Though the cheek bones are prominent she does not have a sunken face, rather, the rest of her face is full of life, color and the fullness that any teenager does.
Body: She stands 5’5’’ with a slender frame. She has subtle curves that put her into an average-slim category of girls. There are no large muscles apparent, but due to her constant track meets, she has well-toned legs and arms. No matter what she tries though, she is a tiny bit puffy in the stomach, adding some weight to that small body of hers.
Fashion: To fit her fickle needs, she is determined to have a wide variety of clothes in her wardrobe. She prefers to stay with lighter colors, such as warm yellows, blues and pinks. Many of her shirts have patterns with flowers, polka dots and stripes since she loves to stand out from a sold-color. Her favorite way to dress is with a long/medium-sleeved shirt with a light tank top/camisole on top and a long flowing skirt covering down to her mid-calf. When it comes to shoes she doesn’t care as much, trading out the fashionable shoes for her overused tennis shoes, just in case she wants to run around. The one item she always has on is her hematite pendant in the shape of a four leaf clover. Due to her superstitions she will always wear it to keep her on the good side of luck rather than the bad.
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 2:40 pm
::Senshi Info::
Sailor Nashira, Senshi of Fate!
Name Info: Nashira is the name of a star in the Capricornus constellation.
Challenge: You can't escape from fate!
Attacks:
1. Destiny Strings! - An attack that sends red strings to an opponent, tying them to herself. This can be both good and bad. The good is that it will hold an enemy in place by tying the strings around their limbs in a tight bind (The string is taught for a while, creating tension and the inability to move). The bad is that if the string isn't severed after a period of time the hold will loosen on the enemy, but keep both connected. In this case, the opponent would be able to move. If they run off, the strings will keep them bound. Meaning that her attack can completely backfire and even result in her being dragged by her opponent. Can last a long time if left uncut. Attack can only work if fired almost in a direct line to the enemy. Extremely short range. Can be used a max of twice per day.
1a. Destiny Bond! - Works the same way as the above, save for one difference. Any pain inflicted to herself will be inflicted on her opponent 1.5x more than her own while they are caught within the string. Can only last up to 3 minutes at max. Bond must be severed after that or it can be reversed onto her. There is an hour period between uses and only two uses per day.
Sometimes fate will bind us to another person, through both our strength and weakness we will run into the inevitable invisible wire which binds us both.
2. Twist of Fate! - This attack is created by willpower, if there is no willpower the attack will not work at all. Nashira takes both hands in front of her, putting them together to face her enemy. Working as an unknown force, when it successfully hits an opponent, they are lifted from the ground, but only about 6 inches. Silence fills the area as the enemy slowly falls back to the earth, seemingly unharmed. Many minutes may pass before "the invisible hand of fate" (so to speak) comes back to haunt the enemy by using a delayed attack (with the attack calling on fate itself to intervene and act as a physical force), basically waiting until the enemy doesn't think there is an attack made and then striking, thus staying true to the "Twist of Fate" namesake (what seemed like an innocent hand gesture turns out to be a painful attack). The attack is created as sheer brute force (think kinetic energy washing down over someone with the force of being hit into a wall, but not actually doing so. Note: The force is not visible.) The attack is sent from straight ahead but the force comes from all sides. The idea is that it inevitably will happen. The force is strong enough to cause pain, probably only enough to temporary disable, but leaves no permanent damage. This attack may only be used once per day and is extremely draining of Nashira. Should only be used in a tight bind.
Twists of fate happen at will, but lead to the same inevitable end. They can sometimes be unforgiving and uncomfortable, but all twists will lead you along to where fate will bring you.
Fuku:
[REVAMPING AS QUEST IS NOW A MAXIMUM EDIT RL SLOT
NOTE THAT IT IS MAINLY A CHANGE OF COLOR SCHEME WITH ONLY MINOR EDITS TO THE FUKU DESIGN ITSELF.]
Primary Color: A gold color that mimics actual gold.
Secondary Color: A light teal/turquoise color. Mainly used for the gems and bows.
Collar -- The collar is separated from the body completely. The collar in itself follows a corset shape with a brooch clipping it together in the middle. Near the bottom the fabric flowers out onto her shoulders, making it look cut off from the rest of the outfit. At top the shape is stiffer and makes a round top. Gem on the brooch is settled onto a golden bow shape.
Bow -- A large bow is down on her lower back/butt to help create the illusion of a full ballgown. The bottom of the bow should flow out behind the skirt and, although the picture below says otherwise, go down to her knees.
Bodice -- A swimsuit type bodice with small sleeves (see Sleeves) connecting it to the body. It has the skirt layer over it near the bottom and when it comes to the top, goes above the bosom but right above where the feminine accents begin. Has rounded and ruffled edges up top.
Sleeves -- There are two small sleeves at the top of the bodice that only connect around the top portion of her arm, not resting up on the shoulders but stopping where the top of the body goes. They should be somewhat stiff with a flower-petal shape coming out on both sides.
Brooch -- No brooch on body, only on collar.
Bottoms -- A skirt that mimics the top portion of the bottom half of a ballgown. It meets in the middle then slowly outward on both sides leaving open an area in the middle.
Tiara -- Tiara acts more like a headband on the top with a distinct pattern. (Please visit the crappy doodle below) The gem centered in the middle is the teal color and shimmers in the center.
Choker -- See Collar.
Shoes -- White, heeled boots with golden tops and small blue bows near the ankle portion of the boot. They travel up to mid-thigh and have bows near the bottom, right where the foot begins. The heel should be a shorter one, 2 1/2 inches at best.
Gloves -- Short white gloves that go to mid-forearm. The ends also flower out around her arm; there are small bows on her wrists.
Accessories -- The only accessory she wears is her good luck charm necklace that can be seen above on her student information and picture.
(See Below for A *crappy* visual on my part, but an awesome version by Savvy!)
Reference Doodles
Savvy-Style So is this about how she's supposed to look in Sailor Form? (sans colors)? 
Explained:
The colors used in the first doodle can be changed as to where they go. This is only my first idea and will probably go through many changes before reaching final. (Unless this is deemed alright).
Savvy's is wonderful. <3
Inspiration Behind Fuku:
This outfit here
The fuku is meant to be like this ballgown here transferred to fuku form. I'd love for the elegance to be preserved.
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 3:33 pm
Open for Crits!
Please take a look and tell me how I might improve the idea. C:
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:00 pm
Congratulations on getting your school girl!
Your idea for the Senshi looks good. My only things are pretty simple, I think. ^^;
Your first attack sounds more like the use of a weapon. It reminds me of one of the 13 from Kingdom Hearts II. It’s not so much fate as it is luck.
Besides that, I say she looks pretty good.
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:25 pm
That is true, I was worried that it came off as too much fortune-telling/gambling than fate related. I think I'll have to re-look it over and try to come up with something better. Thanks for the crit!
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:59 pm
Okay, I reworked the attacks. More crits please?
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:21 pm
I like the attacks. They suit her sphere pretty well. However, in the first attack I don't understand "The bad is that the string is not severed and the opponent somehow frees itself, she is still connected and could be dragged." You should try to rewrite that.
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:28 pm
Thank you Syu! <3
That does sound a bit funny.. I think that's a remnant of my sleepiness this morning!
*goes to fix*
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:34 pm
Okay, fixed it so hopefully it sounds better. Any more advice? C:
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:37 pm
So is this about how she's supposed to look in Sailor Form? (sans colors)?
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:06 pm
Much better wording on the attacks!
Maybe her second idea with fate could be something to do with forseeing or predicting? (Not sure if that is too much like the Seer or not). Possibly look up what the fates are know for.
She looks great!
Beautiful art Savvy!
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:25 pm
Gah, Saavy! <3 <3 <3
You are awesome, thank you so much!
That's exactly how I see it! biggrin
I was looking up the fates, but I felt that some of the "seer" stuff would tread too close to the Senshi of Third Sight. >.>;;
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:28 pm
She looks so elegant, and Savvy's picture based on your doodle is amazing. I like the doodle too, though.
I was wondering if Nashira meant anything though? Or if its just a made-up name.
Your link between her sphere and her personality as a school-kid, the naturally lucky virtue and her count of karma, go really well. You did a wonderful job.
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:53 pm
Oh, silly me I forgot to add that in... >.>;;
Alright, added! Is that better? I think I'm getting close to asking for the first mark.
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