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 Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 11:54 am
Why do I have to be such a selfish b*****d? I'm in a wonderful relationship with this really gentle and wonderful guy and now I want to leave him, apparetly, I don't know! It's like I want to stay with him but then again I don't. Even I don't know what I want. When he asks it's just "I don't know!" I'm starting to get tired of my own answers but that's all I can come up with...
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Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 2:43 pm
Sit, think, weigh the options. Think about what either side of this decision will mean.
Why are you even considering it?
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Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 4:04 pm
Well I guess one is that we're so different. George has this almost Zen-like peace surrounding him and he's so calm, whereas I am the kind of going mile in a minute with a bad temper kind of person. I mean when he refused to go back to the shop when we had not bought brothcubes and I noticed this when I started cooking and told him to go get them and he refused I got really mad, left with the doors banging behind me, bought the cubes and stayed at my friend for about an hour before I went back to him.
I guess it's also that I'm afraid of loosing my freedom. I mean I see the whole marriage shenanigan with kids and all like a huge ball and chain that will keep me dragging in circles. I mean with them in the game you have to sacrifice so much and just stay at one place, especially with the kids. Neither do I want to give up my surname (even though it is my fathers surname) nor have my kids have the surname of their fathers. I guess I'm not ready to give up anything to gain something, but I don't want to be lonely either.
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Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 5:24 pm
Haha, sounds like me for every relationship between Erin and Cait.
Unfortunately I don't know how to help or have any advice to give. I finally found someone I don't feel that way about, so I'm sure that doesn't make you feel better. :c
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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:34 pm
I realized something when I typed it our to another forum. This is my second longest relationship. We've been together for three months, lol. And for the first time for as long time as this, I've been able to call him whenever I want, I can visit him easily, I don't have to book tickets 6 months ahead etc. I've never had this kind of easy access to my boyfriend before. The first guy lived on the other edge of Europe and the things after that were really short. I guess this is all freaking me out because this is no new to me in a way biggrin
But hey, we're still together and we've decided to go slow and not to plan things so much ahead. I'm kind of really happy now ^-^
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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:43 pm
Is it law in Finland that you have to change your surname if you ever decided to get married? It's completely optional here...some guys even take their wive's surnames, though they're meeting with a lot of ZOMG U DARE BREAK TRADITION! SCORN SCORN SCORN discrimination which is sad.
More and more women here either hyphenate or just keep their names.
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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:57 pm
Xiporah Is it law in Finland that you have to change your surname if you ever decided to get married? It's completely optional here...some guys even take their wive's surnames, though they're meeting with a lot of ZOMG U DARE BREAK TRADITION! SCORN SCORN SCORN discrimination which is sad.
More and more women here either hyphenate or just keep their names.
We can keep our surname or have a double surname with your own surname first then your spouses lastname. It's completely optional but most women do it. My boyfriends surname isn't even that bad, since it actually has a meaning, my surname just means that I'm from the Savo area :--DD Lauwo means in either chaga or swahili an initiator, which is kind of cool.
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