Makaa:
Makaa walked slowly away from where he had been dozing. Things were so different now. He was in a different land, he had something of a new mother, if only for a little while, and a number of brothers and sisters. He was older, and stronger than before. He'd grown into a warrior his father could be proud of. And yet, for all of that, he couldn't be happy. He could barely smile and when he did it was always false. He couldn't laugh, couldn't play, couldn't do anything. His heart, body, mind, all felt weak and he knew why.
Caring about Zapa, worrying about her, it was killing him. It hurt to think about her, hurt to NOT think about her. And how he hated it. He should never have cared. Caring really did make a lion weak, more than he had ever dreamed it would. He had tried forgetting about her, tried hardening his heart, but it was a losing battle. He knew how to fight others, but he had no idea how to fight something within himself.
Zap:
If anyone knew the pain Makaa felt, it was Zapaliti herself. Between losing and gaining her family in one form or another, her life had been a series of ups and downs so painful that most would think she should never have bothered. But not Zapa. She knew, despite the ache she now felt, that it had been the only way. Briefly she glanced to her side, where for a time her brother had marched with her, and sighed to see it empty yet again. She could not hold it against her brother that he'd left her. He'd found his place and made his home. For a time she'd thought to stop and remain with him too, but one constant thought had driven her on.
Makaa. He was never far from the front of her mind, and the need to find him now drove her on. If only to mend what had seemed so terribly broken on that day they last parted, she had to find him. Feeling a surge of strength, she crested one gentle rise in the land and started down the other side.
Makaa:
Makaa finally stopped on a small hill, unable to walk away from his own thoughts. He was forever plagued by them. Had he really cared for her that much? It seemed they had only been friends but for a short time and yet he couldn't let her go. He was almost to the point of leaving his father and sister to find her, something he never would have considered for anyone else. Anyone, but Zapa.
And then he saw something that made his heart ache and soar at the same time. A large white lioness coming his way. He would know that pelt anywhere, and yet he couldn't move. He couldn't bring himself to run to her as a part of him did. He'd been so frustrated, so cold for so long, all he could do was stand there and watch as she came his way, frozen in place.
Zap:
Her thoughts turned inward, Zapa was nearly upon the red lion before she saw him. In her minds eye he should still have been a cub, as small as she had been so long ago. To see him now, so changed...so much older, larger, stronger...it gave her pause. Her steps faltered, her swift ground-eating pace stuttering and stammering to a halt. Her eyes went wide meeting his, and her mouth opened in a silent exclamation of delight.
Before she had even fully come to a stop she was moving again, her strong hind legs bunching and thrusting, throwing her through the air and into her once-friend. She sank into his mane and her paws pranced as her chest pressed to his. She nuzzled at his face, his side, and along his back, and it was never enough. Simply put she hadn't known how much she'd missed him until then, and it was only at long last that words broke from her lips. "Makaa! It is you, isn't it! You've changed so much but I know it's you!"
Makaa:
Makaa wanted to remain unmoved by her affections, wanted to pretend he didn't care.
But it was her affections that undid him.
When she finally stopped moving enough, he sat down and wrapped his paws around her, pulling her close. Eyes closed, he just... held her, afraid that he had finally lost his mind and that once he let go, she would disappear and he'd be alone again. But no, she was real. She wasn't only in his mind. And he couldn't find words to express what that made him feel.
So he did the next best thing.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice sounding like it hadn't been used in years. Never had he apologized for something he had done that hadn't gotten him in trouble. Only for her.
Zap:
Zapa felt her breath hitch and catch as Makaa sat back, and then pulled her in close. Thinking back, she tried to remember when he'd huged her. Had he ever hugged her? It had always been her, cuddling and holding and snuggling and grooming, it seemed. There'd even been times he'd seemed unhappy with her for it. This time he hadn't though. And she reveled in it. Her head shifted to rest on his shoulder, her face obscured by his thick mane. When had it gotten so long?
His voice startled her and she pulled back just enough to get a look at his face. He sounded as if he were injured or ill, and the worry was plain in her eyes. "Makaa..." She gently shushed him and pressed her cheek to his. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry it took so long to set things right, and then to find you. I did find you though...Even if you'd gone to the end of the world I'd have found you eventually."
Makaa:
"I shouldn't have let you go," Makaa replied, rubbing his cheek against hers. When had he gotten affectionate? He hadn't. But having her there again after all that time, he couldn't stop touching her. But he had seen the worry on her face and he pulled back, giving her a small smile, the first real smile in the longest time.
"I should have..." He didn't know what he should have done. So many factors, it hurt his mind to try and figure them out. He let one paw rise to run the pads over the fur on her cheek. Had she always been this soft? Had he just never noticed?
"I promise I won't make that mistake again."
Zap:
Zapa let her eyes drift close, and she leaned into Makaa's paw. In her opinion it wasn't herself that was soft, but rather him. So big and fluffy, thought she could feel how stronge he was at the same time. Despite where he now lived, he was a firekin under it all. "I suppose that's all passed now though. And it doesn't matter now that I've found you again."
As much as it hurt her to do so, she finally broke their embrace and stepped back. Her eyes roved Makaa, drinking in the sight of him. He was at once the same and different as what she remembered. She lifted a paw to brush some of his mane from his eyes. They still seemed shadowed with worry, or sadness, and she licked the tip of his nose reassuringly. "You won't have to worry about it. I don't plan to leave again. Not for anything."
Makaa:
Makaa chuckled, ACTUALLY chuckled, when she brushed his made from his eyes. So like her. She licked his nose, so he went and licked her cheek.
"And even if you did, I wouldn't let you go without me. Gods, Zapa, I..." He closed his eyes there, pressing his cheek to hers again, his mouth near her ear.
"Being without you... I felt broken..." he admitted, surprised that he was saying such things. And yet he couldn't keep that from her. Having her back in his life felt like a part of him really had been missing all this time, and she had brought it back and he was whole again. He didn't want to ever lose that feeling.
Zap:
Zapa let slip a girlish giggle as Makaa licked her, sounding much how she had when they were younger. She wrapped a paw around him, holding him tight to her. "I know. It was like a hole I couldn't fill, though I tried a few times. Not even my brother...Oh Makaa, I found him! He didn't come with me far after we left the desert, but I think he knew I couldn't stay with him. I wish you could have met him..."
She drooped a bit, thinking how foolish it would be to mention the very reason they had been parted to begin with. In truth though she wished Makaa could have met him. Then at least he would have known the reason she'd had to go away was real. She gripped the re lion to herself fiercly, as if fearing he'd leave again at her mention of her sandy kin. "I couldn't stay with him, without you. He found his place, but mine wasn't there. It's here. Right here, like this. With you."
Makaa:
Makaa nodded slowly as he listened to her talk of her brother.
"I'm glad you found him. I wish I could have met him, to tell him how lucky he is to have you as his sister," he replied softly. He'd always thought her brother were fools. She was such a precious treasure, a rare bloom in the desert, of kindness and laughter. How could they have let her wander alone on her own? How could he have been so stupid and let her go?
And then she spoke words that made all thoughts of the past come to a screeching halt. Her place was there with him, she said. He hadn't expected how happy that would make him, to hear those words from her. Red eyes slowly met green ad he knew what he wanted most.
"Then stay with me, Zapa. I don't ever want to wake up another morning and you not be there."
Zap:
Zapa looked back at Makaa calmly. Surely he knew that her place was here as well. He said he'd felt broken without her...she didn't want him to feel that way again. Not because of her, especially. It gladened her to hear that he'd have wanted to meet her brother, though she knew he'd long had a distaste for the thought of a sandy colored sibling. It meant a lot that he would put that aside for her sake. But then his father had been that way too, she recalled. And he surely seemed more open, more accepting now.
She chuckled at Makaa's words and nuzzled close, letting his chin rest atop her head. "You don't have to convince me, Makaa. When I left Uddhava I knew I wouldn't go back to him. Not without you at least. Where you are is where I'll be." She could feel the same emotions she'd felt as a youth stirring and tugging at her heart. They'd changed subtly in her growth, become stronger, wiser. This was right, she knew.
Makaa:
Hanging beneath the necklace he wore was another necklace, much more plain than the fire-colored gem set in the sandy rock on a gold band. This one was simply a leather pouch on a leather string, hidden for the most part in his mane.
"Before I left the desert, I found an odd rock. The top opened up, and it was hollow inside," Makaa explained as he slipped the pouch from around his neck.
"I took the one I'm wearing because it reminded me of home. The flame within the desert. But... There was another one that I saw. I had to take it too," he finished, producing another piece of jewelry. It was a cuff, one that he carefully slipped on her left ear. The way it was crafted, a blue gemstone blossom rested on her head as if she had tucked the flower behind her ear with a small curl of silver vine both on the inside and behind her ear to keep it in place.
"You were already gone with the others by then. I told myself that if I ever saw you again... I'd give this to you... And ask you to stay with me," he paused there, looking from the flower back to her.
"But not as my friend. I... care about you more than anyone else. No other female will ever compare, Zapa..."
Zap:
Zapa sat back and listened intently to Makaa. His sudden change in topic confused her slightly, but she listened well regardless. If this was something Makaa wanted to tell her so soon after they'd been reunited, then it must be of importance. She nodded at his account of the odd rock...she couldn't quite imagine it, but no matter. She gathered he was talking about his necklace, and she glanced at it. In their tight embraces she'd felt it well enough, and truly it did remind her of their long-gone home, glimmering with a fire of its own.
She held perfectly still as Makaa exposed the shimmering piece to her before placing it upon her ear. The weight was strange at first, but not uncomfortable, and her ear flicked a few times, slipping it further into place before going still again. To think he had thought of her even then, and carried the piece with him since...It brought tears to the lioness' eyes. She'd known she'd loved him a long time, but only now did she realize how much of her fear and stress had been over the idea that he might not feel the same. That was no issue now.
"You don't need to ask...or say any more, Makaa. There's no one I'd rather be with than you." She didn't need to say her feelings, her expression spoke them as clear as any words could.
Makaa:
Makaa's face broke in the softest, most loving smile he had ever shared with another creature and he pressed his cheek to hers, nuzzling her tenderly. She brought a side out of him that no other ever had. When she was with him, he was strong and weak, loving and fierce. It was so confusing, and yet he never wanted to be without that feeling, never wanted to be without her. The back of his mind told him he had to let go. He had to admit it and say words he thought would break him. But it had been keeping them inside, denying him that had hindered him. Accepting it had been such a release. Though he was sure she knew already, he needed to tell her. No more half guessing between them. He would never leave another word unsaid between them if he could help it.
"I... love you, Zapaliti."
