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 Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:04 am
I have been wearing the Sweetloli style since the beginning of this year, but due to work and study, I've been very stressed and
overwhelmed and there have been times where I feel very "ugly."
I want to be able to balance a more "princess-like" lifestyle while keeping up with my responsibilities, so I can feel more like a
beautiful person and change how others see me.
Do you have any suggestions and ideas? Also some etiquette tips would be helpful!
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Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:23 am
darling, you don't need to change your lifestyle or personality because you wear sweet lolita. I probably shouldn't be giving out any advice since I'm working on a paper atm, and I'm not a life style lolita, but I would like to share this
http://community.livejournal.com/egl/14275257.html#cutid1
Of course, anyone who works themselves too hard is bound to feel exhausted and unpretty. A more practical solution to your problem is adjusting your schedule: balance out work and play. I think that there should always be some time for yourself, whether it's for dressing up, getting a facial/nails done, reading in a quiet place, working out, or yoga/meditation.
Don't worry about what other people will think because sometimes those efforts will be in vain (heck, you might want to re-read what you just posted: it sounds like you're wanting this in vanity and attention, not for yourself!). And I don't think that living like a princess sounds very glamorous. I'd hate to deal with governmental responsibilities, day by day.
Like I said before, you don't need to change your personality to fit into lolita fashion. Lots of us like to do things that have nothing to do with lolita while wearing the fashion, like playing video games or skateboarding. This goes for people in general: just have some common sense when out in public. There's no need to swear aloud or talk with your mouth full.
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Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:03 pm
While you shouldn't change who you are to match your fashion, if you sincerely want to live more like a princess just re decorate. Add some flowers to your room, switch to an antique writing desk, paint the walls, or do whatever relaxes you and makes you feel like royalty. You don't even have to be a lifestyle lolita. Every girl, regardless of fashion, should feel like a princess in their own right. So do what gives you that feeling. Even throw yourself a tea party. That always relaxes me and makes me feel wonderful inside out. *never forget stuffed animals make excellent party guests*
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:04 am
Speaking as somebody who intends to go everyday loli as soon as she has the wardrobe, and already feels pretty lifestyle....
Make sure your doing this for yourself. If your doing this because you want to fit in with other lolita, or for some other reason, you probably won't be able to keep it up, since it will be like a mask and not your true face.
The most important thing to do is to be polite and speak in proper english. Everyone has moments when they feel 'ugly', the thing to do is to remember that just because you might feel ugly right now doesn't meant that everything is ugly.
Also, cut out ANY swearing. Find polite insults. (i know that sounds silly, but trust me, your going to end up insulting people anyways. You might as well do it in a sophisticated, polite[ish] way.)
If necessary, schedual your time. It should take you half an hour to finish this reading, schedual 45 minutes. give yourself some padding, but make sure you don't slack off. Come up with small, relaxing things to do between tasks. (for me, thats doing the dishes and laundry, and making myself tea.) And when somebody asks if you can do something for them, and you really don't have time, tell them that you would love to, if only you had the time. Don't take on more then you can actually get done, since you want to be able to not only keep up with your responsibilities, but also have some time for your 'princess-like' self.
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:11 pm
kochi~mochi The most important thing to do is to be polite and speak in proper english. Everyone has moments when they feel 'ugly', the thing to do is to remember that just because you might feel ugly right now doesn't meant that everything is ugly. Also, cut out ANY swearing. Find polite insults. (i know that sounds silly, but trust me, your going to end up insulting people anyways. You might as well do it in a sophisticated, polite[ish] way.)
I agree. Manners and Etiquette are the best way to be more princess like without drastically changing your life. And you can do this even when your wearing a tee shirt and jeans.
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:25 pm
you just need to be polite. To live the lolita life style you need to have proper edicate. So of coarse always say you please and thank yous. And dont curse or talk about anything sexual in front of anyone. Also have manners at the table. Ask to be excused before you leave, say excuse me if a burp slips out. Dont cross your legs while your sitting, eat most things with a fork but not like finger foods, place your napkin on your lap so your dress wont get dirty ectra
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Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:11 am
Wow, thanks so much for the kind suggestions and encouragement.
I can't decide which one to quote! : p
I can assure you, I am doing this for me and I will be myself! Strangely though, I am the only one so far who wears the fashion, although I am getting a few of my friends into it!
A tea party with stuffed animals sounds really cute! ^ ^ I don't intend on wearing the fashion all the time-maybe once or twice a week-but I want to live the lifestyle no matter what I'm wearing.
I find I'm really enjoying this guild too, thank you for making me feel welcome!
And keep the suggestions coming! 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:41 am
Oh, the one thing i forgot to say is... Don't forget that you are going to have days where your just not lolita. Every once and a while, your going to want to go out for pizza, get in a burping contest with the guys, swear at somebody, or be just plain rude.
This isn't something thats easy to switch. I mean, yeah, it can be easy to not swear for an afternoon, to have proper ettiquette for the tea party... but it takes time to actually shift from saying a swear word to "Oh lollipops" (which is my girlfriend's favorite) or "Oh my..." (which is my favorite). Try not to get frustrated when you slide into your old patterns.
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Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 10:54 pm
Wow, um..I don't agree with a lot of this.
It is me to swear like a sailor at times. It is me to make sexual jokes, or grab my boyfriend's a**. Hell, its me to burp loudly and I will do it dressed lolita or not. I'm pretty much a feminine tomboy, as my boyfriend puts it. :3
What I am saying is, just because you're in Lolita doesn't mean you have to turn on the 'Fake' switch. If its *YOU* to be polite, have 'proper etiquette ', not burp or make sexual jokes, then that's fine and dandy. But if its not you, then its not you.
Just as Sweetened with Splenda said, you DON'T need to change your personality just because of what you're wearing that day. Just seems soo fake to me.
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Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:34 pm
The Zombie Gigolo What I am saying is, just because you're in Lolita doesn't mean you have to turn on the 'Fake' switch. If its *YOU* to be polite, have 'proper etiquette ', not burp or make sexual jokes, then that's fine and dandy. But if its not you, then its not you. Just as Sweetened with Splenda said, you DON'T need to change your personality just because of what you're wearing that day. Just seems soo fake to me. This x's 9000.
Clothes shouldn't dictate your personality and actions.
You shouldn't have to change who you are just because you want to run around in frilly clothing :/
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:20 am
Actually lolita is a fashion movement against the sexualisation of female fashion and bringing back the purity back into peoples hearts, not just clothes. You don't really need to be different when wearing lolita since it is not a costume but you still should try to stay well mannered since lolita is not only clothes, it is a fashion movement and fashion also includes how you act and if you don't act like a lolita, you are not a lolita just a bad person that ruins the good name of the fashion movement.
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:38 am
I'm going to have to disagree with you, Zombie Gigalo.
There is a difference between being fake and trying to be a more pleasant person. Deciding who you want to be isn't fake. It's taking control of your life. Everything we do is a choice. There is not one of us who regrets none of our actions. By putting more thought into what we actually want to be, and how we can accomplish that, we improve ourselves. If she wants to make herself something closer to her own ideal, I see no way this could be a bad thing.
Also, it is my personal opinion that lewd, disrespectful, and uncivilized behavior has gotten far too casual in our culture and any actions made to counteract that should be encouraged.
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 10:31 am
WhiteValkyrie Actually lolita is a fashion movement against the sexualisation of female fashion and bringing back the purity back into peoples hearts, not just clothes. You don't really need to be different when wearing lolita since it is not a costume but you still should try to stay well mannered since lolita is not only clothes, it is a fashion movement and fashion also includes how you act and if you don't act like a lolita, you are not a lolita just a bad person that ruins the good name of the fashion movement. Lolita is not an official fashion movement, it can be considered that to some people, but to others no. There is not one way to define things and Lolita is one of them. Lolita means different things to different people. To me, Lolita isn't about having manners, being polite.. and whatever. I already have those qualities, even before I knew what Lolita was. I always say please, thank you, put a napkin on my lap, etc.I have great manners but at the same time, I also love being a total goofball with my friends and family. When I'm not dressed in Lolita, I also like to look sexy, (Not necessarily slutty, mind you) like a hippie, like a school girl, and I like to dress sporty when I just don't feel like wearing skirts or when I work out. I'm a pretty mixed individual when it comes to clothes. I love clothes, and I don't believe anyone has to stick to one particular fashion, nor change who they are depending on what they choose to wear. But man, let me tell you..this is the reason why I have lost interest in Lolita in the past for quite some time. People who TELL YOU if you're Lolita or not and judge you. How dare you tell me who I am and what I am not. I like the clothing, and I won't stop wearing it just because you think I'm unsuited for it. I think its beautiful, it reminds me of my childhood and how much I love Disney Princesses, though I'm probably more of Fiona from Shrek (Burping and the like making her not a stereotypical princess). It also makes me think of the days I loved Malice Mizer back in junior high (Several years ago) Its my favorite band and also a great inspiration to the start of the fashion. Anyway, I refuse to put on an act and be something I am not just so I can go along with this 'fashion movement'. Just seems like you're trying to fit in with the crowd, like high school...its immature to me. WhiteValkyrie and fashion also includes how you act This is very judgmental, by the way. So if someone is wearing a tank top and short shorts do you think they MUST be promiscuous? If someone is wearing all black, they MUST be depressed. Not necessarily true, correct? @Kittywitch:There is nothing wrong with one who wants to better herself, I think that's fine. But it sounds like she wants to do it more for others around her and for appearance rather than herself. And it was mostly the responses that annoyed me, not really the first post. edit: Also, from the link White Valkryie showed me: Quote: In addition to being a fashion, some people enjoy living a "Lolita Lifestyle" in which one sees Lolita as more of a philosophy of living beautifully rather than just dressing it. Someone living a Lolita Lifestyle may try and live like a princess, surrounding themselves with things of beauty, and taking part in a number of ‘proper’ feminine activities such as baking, embroidery, sewing and other old-fashioned "women's" activities.
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 10:32 am
WhiteValkyrie Actually lolita is a fashion movement against the sexualisation of female fashion and bringing back the purity back into peoples hearts, not just clothes. You don't really need to be different when wearing lolita since it is not a costume but you still should try to stay well mannered since lolita is not only clothes, it is a fashion movement and fashion also includes how you act and if you don't act like a lolita, you are not a lolita, just a bad person that ruins the good name of the fashion movement.
I agreed until the part I underlined.
You just contradicted yourself.
You don't need to act different but you have to act like a lolita or else you are not a lolita?
WAT :I
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Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 12:27 am
Kittywitch I'm going to have to disagree with you, Zombie Gigalo. There is a difference between being fake and trying to be a more pleasant person. Deciding who you want to be isn't fake. It's taking control of your life. Everything we do is a choice. There is not one of us who regrets none of our actions. By putting more thought into what we actually want to be, and how we can accomplish that, we improve ourselves. If she wants to make herself something closer to her own ideal, I see no way this could be a bad thing. Also, it is my personal opinion that lewd, disrespectful, and uncivilized behavior has gotten far too casual in our culture and any actions made to counteract that should be encouraged. Exactly: I am still myself-I just want to be more aware of how I act. Before I heard of the fashion, I didn't swear (So "quitting swearing" is no sacrifice to me.) and I do say please and thank you and make others feel appreciated. The things I DO want to work on though, is my table manners, posture and being more patient with others. Quote: Quote: In addition to being a fashion, some people enjoy living a "Lolita Lifestyle" in which one sees Lolita as more of a philosophy of living beautifully rather than just dressing it. The keyword is "enjoy." The "princess-like" lifestyle really appeals to me. Though I admit it sounded like I want to please people, I feel this would improve my outlook on life, as I used to feel so negative before.
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