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 Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:55 am
(Aim log between Taj and Kim)
Azar was riddled with conflicting emotions. Guilt, fear, panic, dread. He felt as if the walls of his den were closing in. Suffocating him. Dragging him into darkness. He was looking for a light but there was no way out.
He couldn’t breathe!
He paused by the oasis to drink. Maybe that would clear his head. Get him thinking a little better. Not that Azar’bijan had ever been a good thinker. He supposed now was as good a time as any to start, right? With a deep sigh he lowered his maw to the water and drank greedily. If he thought it was going to cure his problems then he was going to be sourly disappointed.
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:56 am
Not for the first time, as she had watched Azar head for the oasis, did she wonder on what decision to make regarding the male that she loved, but... the truth, no matter how ugly or pretty, was the most important thing. She followed after him quietly, not difficult since she wasn't moving with her usual speedy grace, not when her stomach had grown heavier with cubs. Hanging back and out of sight was the last thing she had to worry about, and she no longer feared the circle birds that haunted their lands. Even near full term she was confident and crabby enough to handle a few pesky buzzards.
Finally the striped storyteller caught up with him, though, and carefully made her way down the dune to avoid a tumble, eyes glued to his familiar red form.
"... A-"
She choked momentarily on her words, throat constricting with reluctance. Ursa set her jaw and tried again.
"... Azar?"
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:57 am
The sound of her voice startled him, to say the least. What was happening to him? When had he become so jumpy? What was he so afraid of?! And then he realised who the voice belonged to and his fear increased tenfold. Oh no. Nononono. He couldn’t be dealing with this now. Couldn’t be dealing with her and…and those things now.
He swallowed, bracing himself and turned.
It was obvious by now that Ursa was pregnant and the possibility that those cubs might be his put an even greater fear into his heart. How on earth did he get himself into these situations?
A suspect for murder.
A b*****d friend.
And possibly…the worst dad in the world?
He turned his eyes from her, not wanting to see her…her…so heavy with child. Almost as if not looking would just make the situation go away. And then…
“If you hadn’t heard, Ursa, I’m not the pride’s most favourite lion right now. You’d best go before they think you’re in on it, too.” What was this…perhaps a sign he cared?
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:58 am
She was surprised to hear him actually give her a warning that didn't sound like an attempt to simply chase her away, he actually sounded like he meant that, though some trace of sarcasm could be found in his words, it didn't seem to be directed at her specifically. She didn't leave, though, not having the energy to get angry like last time, or to yell and fuss. This wasn't about them, actually, it was about...
"... I know where you were, when that rogue was killed."
Straight to the point... something she'd had to pick up from Azar, actually, as she normally had a bad habit of going all the way around the desert just to cross to the other side of the dens, when speaking.
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:59 am
His heart leapt into his throat. His eyes widened. All became still. Quite still. And then the warmth drained from him, leaving him quivering. She…knew? How? How could she possibly know? Had she been spying? What if someone else had seen?
It took him a moment to gather himself, the fur on his neck and shoulders – that had been standing on end – now smoothed back a little.
And as he fought to get a grip, he could only managed a few choked words.
“Lies!” He spat, angrily.
Then he paced back and forth, moving quickly, casting her angry glances. The look in her face. There was no deceit there.
She knew. She knew.
“You better not tell anyone.” He hissed, drawing close, lowering his voice. “I mean it Ursa.” His eyes were serious, his voice stern.
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:00 am
In their last few encounters she'd seen what she thought to be fear in his reactions, but his responses now made her nervous first, then a bit fearful, herself, second. First her heart sank as he cast his angry glares at her, but once he threatened her...
Ursa swallowed hard, not able to recall the last time she'd seen him this serious, this angry. For just a moment her eyes flickered-- uncertain? Afraid? Her resolve returned, then, though not without a tangible amount of sorrow written in her eyes, underlying in her tone, betraying her unwillingness to be persuaded.
"I can't promise that, Azar. The truth needs to be heard. So... if you won't tell them... then I will."
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:01 am
His resolve faded a little at that look in her face. Being an adolescent sure did suck. He seemed to be struggling to find himself, especially around certain people. Especially around Ursa. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to threaten her, scare her into keeping silent.
And yet…that face.
He closed his eyes and turned away, almost afraid she might be hypnotising him with those eyes.
“The truth does not need to be heard.” He replied, softer now. “I’ve got things under control. Trust me.”
Heh, trust him? Well that was a joke after all that he’d done. Wasn’t he the one who’d ditched her, denied that the cubs were his, wiped his paws of any responsibility? The only thing you could trust about Azar was that he was, in fact, an idiot.
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:01 am
Ursa saw the look in his eyes and knew that he was being tormented by the fact that she knew, but she couldn't unsee what she had seen anymore than she could pretend she hadn't. That was always the difference between them. He could just as easily go on as if nothing had transpired, but she couldn't live with herself that way. For better or for worse, her brother's death had already taught her that life didn't let you pick and choose which lessons you learned when, where, or how. This was one of those times, and all that she could do was tell what she knew and hope that he would forgive her somehow in time. No matter what, she'd always love him, no matter what, but would she ever have the courage to tell him that?
Not, at least, while she ran the risk of angering him more with the fact. If she loved him, how could she do this to him, she could almost hear him asking when or if he recovered from his shock. No... that was... better saved for another time, if there'd be another time. She just wanted things to be alright.
Why did Iroh, that distant relative of theirs, have to return, bringing those troublesome outsiders with him? Normally tolerant, Ursa had been so irritated and distraught when she first learned Azar was a suspect for murder, and now because of that it had come to this.
She turned away again, though she kept her gaze on him over her shoulder as she looked back.
"I wish that I could, Azar..." She admitted, greatly pained. "I really wish that I could..."
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:03 am
She was turning away. She was telling him that she couldn’t trust him. (No surprise there, really). But that was bad. Very bad. He couldn’t have her blabbing, but what was he supposed to do? Threaten a pregnant female? Oh…wait, he’d sort of already done that…
But short of rendering her incapable of speech, there was nothing he could do.
Panic seized him again and he moved after her, attempting to cut her off from any quick escape she might have been planning. She was bigger than him – being older – but for now it seemed his usual nervousness of her was gone.
“Ursa. Listen. Listen to me. Fine. Look. I’ll tell them.” He hissed, trying his best to keep quiet. “Do you hear me? Just give me a chance. I just need…a few days and I’ll tell them. Okay?” He looked at her, hoping to the depths of his soul that she would agree.
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:03 am
She stopped, red flooding her vision as Azar blocked her path. She was no longer uneasy about his calmness, rather, it seemed to have had a calming affect on her as well, this had been their most tame conversation in... ever, ironic given the topic of discussion. Her answer at first was to simply look back at him, staring him in the eyes for a long, long moment.
... If she hadn't scared him into considering the idea of running off, the worst that could happen would be her having to come forward herself, right?
"...... Alright, Azar... three days... if you haven't spoken to Kimacho and Kenna in three days..."
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:04 am
He released his breath – not even aware until just that moment that he had been holding it – feeling the relief flood into his veins. He was a male with a lot of pride – though he often bruised it with his stupidity – and there was no way he was going to be…to be put in the spotlight by Ursa.
Not Ursa.
In a smaller voice he replied. “Thank you.”
And, ironically, it seemed that this conversation wasn’t going to end in anger or tears. But there was time for those emotions – and more – later. There certainly would be.
With that, Azar’bijan straightened, cast a look about him and moved off without another word.
/fin
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