...the day I go see my sisters and brother. The people I haven't seen in about 15 years.
I'm nervous, anxios.... scared. I mean, my sisters and I have talked on facebook
and we even text each other. But this is the first time in a long time I'll see them face to face.
And I may also be seeing my father and grandmother... which is the reason I'm all those things.
I'll be gone for the weekend so wish me luck guys... and courage too.
*hugs everyone*
So, meeting my siblings was great! We got along really well and their mom
is super cool! She told me lots of stories about when I was a baby and how
much my father's family don't seem to care at all about them. But I've
known for a while they were stuck up and hypocrites! She just
confirmed them for me. My brother and I talked about games and systems.
But the most fun was hanging out with my sisters! We went to Book Off,
did karaoke, visited Chinatown, window shopped in Times Square and
took Jena to the Toys R Us! Got lots of different Asian treats and Pocky!
But while we were out singing, Jena stayed with their mom because we
knew she'd be bored. And while there... my father came by. He brought
Jena some books and read to her which she enjoyed.
When we got back he was still there so... I met him. We didn't really talk
much. He was surprised at how much I've grown. After a minute he went
into their mom's room for a while to watch tv with her. Then a few hours
later he said goodbye and went back home across the street. That was it...
I dreaded the moment for so long... longer than I remember... and of course
it went nothing like I imagined. I always thought he'd try to play the
"good father" role and attempt to make amends... and I wouldn't accept it.
But now I know he won't make the attempt and I'm okay with that.
I'm okay with him just being there and not doing anything for me.
Because that's all he's ever done is just be there... not doing anything.
I plan to go back and see them all again soon! Maybe have my sisters
come up for a day! Maybe my brother too if he'll leave his room! XD
I'm nervous, anxios.... scared. I mean, my sisters and I have talked on facebook
and we even text each other. But this is the first time in a long time I'll see them face to face.
And I may also be seeing my father and grandmother... which is the reason I'm all those things.
I'll be gone for the weekend so wish me luck guys... and courage too.
*hugs everyone*
So, meeting my siblings was great! We got along really well and their mom
is super cool! She told me lots of stories about when I was a baby and how
much my father's family don't seem to care at all about them. But I've
known for a while they were stuck up and hypocrites! She just
confirmed them for me. My brother and I talked about games and systems.
But the most fun was hanging out with my sisters! We went to Book Off,
did karaoke, visited Chinatown, window shopped in Times Square and
took Jena to the Toys R Us! Got lots of different Asian treats and Pocky!
But while we were out singing, Jena stayed with their mom because we
knew she'd be bored. And while there... my father came by. He brought
Jena some books and read to her which she enjoyed.
When we got back he was still there so... I met him. We didn't really talk
much. He was surprised at how much I've grown. After a minute he went
into their mom's room for a while to watch tv with her. Then a few hours
later he said goodbye and went back home across the street. That was it...
I dreaded the moment for so long... longer than I remember... and of course
it went nothing like I imagined. I always thought he'd try to play the
"good father" role and attempt to make amends... and I wouldn't accept it.
But now I know he won't make the attempt and I'm okay with that.
I'm okay with him just being there and not doing anything for me.
Because that's all he's ever done is just be there... not doing anything.
I plan to go back and see them all again soon! Maybe have my sisters
come up for a day! Maybe my brother too if he'll leave his room! XD
