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Gabrielle_AnimalLuver Crew
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 Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:03 pm
So I've had one serious relationship in my life. Which lasted almost 7 months, and ended in a text message... The guy told me he loved me, and two months later, he was confused and wanted to be alone for a while. I was in denial, and blindly in love with him. I guess I really thought he'd realize after a while he couldn't live without me, cause thats how I felt about him. I still miss him, or at least, who I thought he was. 6 months later, he already had another girlfriend and broke up, and still hasn't come around. Not that I would take him back... I've finally moved on and realized what a douchebag he is.
Anyways, I really miss that companionship, miss being in a relationship, miss being in love. I put myself out there. I've gone on a few dates. And each time the guy is nice, cute, sweet, nothing wrong with em, and yet I never feel anything. Like I have a bunch of guys that are into me, and wanna see me again, and I just don't feel like it. Whereas with my ex, and one other guy I dated briefly. Within the first few dates, I was always anxious to see them again, and couldn't stop smiling after the date.
I'm wondering if half a year later, I'm still so damaged that I don't want to be with anyone else, even though I feel like I do. Or maybe there just isn't anyone out here for me. I'm off for a kind of a set up. A friend of my friend's boyfriend. Was interested in me when I came up in conversation, so i'm told. But my friend just warned me he's a little "off the wall" and he smokes and she wouldn't be offended if I don't like him, so... I'm still going but I'm just doubtful at this point. And the more guys I meet and am not interested in, the more frustrated and depressed I get.
Some people tell me to just be patient, and let love find me. Well I tried that, and I was single for 4 years and found a guy who broke it off in a text after 7 months... I'm told by others I need to put myself out there but dating is exhausting lol. Some say I;m too picky, other's say if you don't feel like seeing the guy again, it's probably for a reason and follow your heart and all. I just don't know what to think anymore. I'm trying to stay hopeful.
update: It doesn't help that all my friends are engaged.
So I met the guy last night, and he seems cute and nice. OF COURSE he's in the FREAKIN army! And he's going to spend time with his family up north before going back to the army to start his courses on the 31rst. So I have no way of getting to know him and if I did, I wouldn't really be able to have a relationship with him. (I also saw a pic of him on facebook making a weird face and his teeth are so yellow and all crooked and a real turn off. I know it's really shallow, but kind of turns me off him a lot. Like, all of a sudden I'm thinking, eeehhh, I wouldn't enjoy kissing that lol.My ex had crooked teeth, I'm not THAT shallow, see pics of him in my journal, but this new guy, it's just too much lol.)
I'm just feeling outright depressed right now. I'm on vacation, but I'm so lonely and bored. Yet when people ask me to do stuff, I just don't feel like it. I just want to sit on my a** and do nothing, but then I feel so guilty cause it's such a nice day, and so lonely. I want to be in a relationship again so badly, but I don't ever feel like going out with these guys again. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so shitty. Last year I had a boyfriend to enjoy this time off with. And before meeting him, I was fine, but now it's like I know what I'm missing out on, and it's hard to be happy without it.
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:08 pm
*hugs CCR* Chin up, back straight, and look the whole damn world in the eye. You can look weak or look strong, babe, that's how it rolls. But good luck *hands cookie*
Remember, Cowboy'll always love you :3
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Gabrielle_AnimalLuver Crew
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 11:05 am
So I met the guy last night, and he seems cute and nice. OF COURSE he's in the FREAKIN army! And he's going to spend time with his family up north before going back to the army to start his courses on the 31rst. So I have no way of getting to know him and if I did, I wouldn't really be able to have a relationship with him. (I also saw a pic of him on facebook making a weird face and his teeth are so yellow and all crooked and a real turn off. I know it's really shallow, but kind of turns me off him a lot. Like, all of a sudden I'm thinking, eeehhh, I wouldn't enjoy kissing that lol.My ex had crooked teeth, I'm not THAT shallow, see pics of him in my journal, but this new guy, it's just too much lol.)
I'm just feeling outright depressed right now. I'm on vacation, but I'm so lonely and bored. Yet when people ask me to do stuff, I just don't feel like it. I just want to sit on my a** and do nothing, but then I feel so guilty cause it's such a nice day, and so lonely. I want to be in a relationship again so badly, but I don't ever feel like going out with these guys again. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so shitty. Last year I had a boyfriend to enjoy this time off with. And before meeting him, I was fine, but now it's like I know what I'm missing out on, and it's hard to be happy without it.
I remember, right before we broke up, I was stressed about school and work. And my ex came over, and we just lay in bed watching TV, cuddled for like 2-3hrs. And I remember thinking, it doesn't matter how bad life sucks, or what happens next. Cause I have him, and that's all I could possibly need to be happy.
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:57 pm
=[ *hands big-a** cookie* It's always tough when they're in and out, in and out. (I know what you mean, lol, teeth are key in a good kiss ;3) Ugh, I know what you mean. It's always nice up here in this time of year, and there all "Wanna go tubing? Wanna go swimming? Wanna go to the fair?" and it's like: "....no." *hugs* you'll find someone to be with again. Tough break ups take a while to get over, and some you never fully do. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laiROGvrWMM&fmt=18
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Gabrielle_AnimalLuver Crew
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 4:58 pm
Azusanga =[ *hands big-a** cookie* It's always tough when they're in and out, in and out. (I know what you mean, lol, teeth are key in a good kiss ;3) Ugh, I know what you mean. It's always nice up here in this time of year, and there all "Wanna go tubing? Wanna go swimming? Wanna go to the fair?" and it's like: "....no." *hugs* you'll find someone to be with again. Tough break ups take a while to get over, and some you never fully do. ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laiROGvrWMM&fmt=18Thanks, I can't listen to that song anymore. I'm in the angry I hate his guts phase. But that made me cry so much the first two months lol.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:41 pm
Crazy Cat Reincarnated Azusanga =[ *hands big-a** cookie* It's always tough when they're in and out, in and out. (I know what you mean, lol, teeth are key in a good kiss ;3) Ugh, I know what you mean. It's always nice up here in this time of year, and there all "Wanna go tubing? Wanna go swimming? Wanna go to the fair?" and it's like: "....no." *hugs* you'll find someone to be with again. Tough break ups take a while to get over, and some you never fully do. ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laiROGvrWMM&fmt=18Thanks, I can't listen to that song anymore. I'm in the angry I hate his guts phase. But that made me cry so much the first two months lol. Lol, here's a different song then: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t9K9rM1SVE That better? xD -no help at all-
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Gabrielle_AnimalLuver Crew
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:59 pm
Azusanga Crazy Cat Reincarnated Azusanga =[ *hands big-a** cookie* It's always tough when they're in and out, in and out. (I know what you mean, lol, teeth are key in a good kiss ;3) Ugh, I know what you mean. It's always nice up here in this time of year, and there all "Wanna go tubing? Wanna go swimming? Wanna go to the fair?" and it's like: "....no." *hugs* you'll find someone to be with again. Tough break ups take a while to get over, and some you never fully do. ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laiROGvrWMM&fmt=18Thanks, I can't listen to that song anymore. I'm in the angry I hate his guts phase. But that made me cry so much the first two months lol. Lol, here's a different song then: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t9K9rM1SVE That better? xD -no help at all- Much better lol. And you've really helpful. I find these have helped me a lot lately. I know they're lame, but I can't help but like em lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi_MEArB1ro&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LP-yuipInwY
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:19 am
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:07 am
Keep your chin up. I spent the first 21 years of my life alone. I had my family but that was it. I got lucky and found my husband. I wasn't even looking. It may be an issue of trying too hard. Go out with your friends. Have fun on your terms. Remember you are strong enough that you don't need anyone to make you whole.
And as has been said before, Cowboy loves you.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:31 pm
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Gabrielle_AnimalLuver Crew
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 7:05 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 7:12 pm
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Gabrielle_AnimalLuver Crew
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:37 pm
hides ninja *drags back out into the open* The fork in the garbage disposal shant wait!
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