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 Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:39 pm
Was it hunger, or possibly intuition that brought the old wolf to this spot? A clearing, made by a nomadic group of…two leggers he presumed, seeing some trees chopped neatly, while the earth lay in ashes where a fire may have been. The humans had left a long while ago by the fading smell, though Catalyst may have been tricked his own fading senses; they may have only left a few moments ago. The site was barren now, and that was really all that mattered to the old male; he needed peace, he needed quiet, he needed time.
Sadly, he was running short on the final desire with his life taking its course as narrowly as possible. He was tried from walks that may last for no more than a few minutes, and find it harder to catch a meal when it kicked and tussled against his loosening hold. Even now the silver hairs on his back had the essence of death, no longer the attractive, mature feature some would have thought prior. He just felt very bad right now, normally at a point in ones life where settling down with a companion would make all the worlds difference.
He had no one to sit down with. Soul had vanished, and was probably as old as when they were first reintroduced after Naib and her siblings were born, and Talamar, Echo and Ophelia were long gone with their own lives started; or the maggots settling over their dead bodies, since it was all the same when they had not been seen for a few years. He felt horrible knowing he could not find security and comfort in another being, why even the crows flew away from their roosts high in trees when he settled his lanky form beneath the birch branches. He had not seen anyone for so long, especially the only female he had found serene pleasure in while he lived in these woods, Kalia.
That old silver bat was probably dead or mated with some other old bat, having pups here and there. The thought left him scorned, features knit tight in his apparent anger; why did he have to leave, why did she have to let him go? All the drama of the past held no relevance now, and should not have occurred then…but it did, and he sat now in human rubble with only the wind by his side. Silence was golden, in most instances, but he was desperate for a voice, any voice…he’d be happy to hear the call of death beckoning him forth to hell.
If he weren’t already IN hell, now.
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:53 pm
 The old silver bat once again found herself deserted of all company and companionship. She had been traveling with her granddaughter and the strange male Wyatt, but they had found better things and had ditched her. Kalia found that, without anyone around her, she lost all dignity and motivation to keep herself in good shape. The gray hairs couldn't be seen on her silvery coat, but her fur had lost all luster and sheen and her eyes no longer had a fiery glare to them. With no one around, what was the point in keeping up your good looks? She was old anyways, and she was sure she could hear every groan and creak that her bones made in protest. That is, when she could actually hear. One side effect of being old: you began to lose your senses.
And not just the five that came standard. Oh no, it seemed that she was beginning to lost her mental senses as well. Every so often the female could have sworn she'd seen and heard her former mate calling for her. Yet every time she ran to him, he'd be gone and there would be no lingering scent or indication that he had been there. She knew for sure that she was going crazy. Everything in her life came down to that one fact: she was crazy.
Whether it was true or not, Kalia had somehow come to the conclusion that everything that had gone wrong had been her own doing. She was the one that had forced her children out, that had allowed Catalyst to leave her, that had allowed her entire life to end up in broken shards.
Grumbling to herself about her own stupidity, she allowed her sore and cracked paws to lead her any which way. It didn't matter where she ended up, she figured, since she'd never have anyone waiting for her. And that was the saddest part of all; she was growing old and was beginning to lose the ability to be a vagabond, but it was all she had. Lingering in one place for too long brought back painful memories, and she found that new places actually kept her mind away from thinking about the tragedies of life. Besides, perhaps if she was lucky she'd simply keel over and stop breathing one of these days. Wouldn't that be nice?
Yet as she continued on, she could have sworn she caught a glimpse of a familiar pelt, although it appeared tinged with grays. She narrowed her eyes and let her ears fall flat against her skull. She figured this was just another one of her crazy hallucinations.
"Catalyst, the old fool," she growled, not caring who heard her.
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:06 pm
“What was that?” He perked, a hoarse tone catching in the wind. “Who’s there?” He called again, causing quite the funny scene. With his neck stretched forward, away from where the voice came the male looked giraffe like and sniffed in short spurts, searching for a scent. “Who goes there?” He turned then, finding nothing in the space before him and stared backwards awkwardly, the rest of his body slowly making its way into place.
He couldn’t see too far out, but a blurred image formed and startled him. He hopped back a step, gasped, and then wheezed an exhale that ended with a hacking cough. What was he doing imagining that girl again? She was no where to be found, had not been around for ages and would not welcome him with a blank stare…would she? He couldn’t recall her age, but assumed she was now nearing her prime and just as senile as he was. It could very well be Kalia, then…
How likely was that, he thought as he shimmied back into a seated position. “Kalia.” He breathed, not having seen her at all.
“Oh, heavens…how you play tricks on me so.” He now faced the female, ears forward and body sagged in his placing. He looked out to the blur and stared consistently, liking the familiarity it held; the sort of comfort it seemed to bring. Yeah, it might not be her…but it looked like her, and that was enough for him.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 8:53 pm
Silver audits perked atop her head, showing the first sign of life since... she couldn't even remember when. Of course, that could have just been her old age kicking in and causing her memory to be faulty. But something that had piqued her interest was the fact that this hallucination talked back to her. Usually, it was only Catalyst that spoke, calling out her name. She would always return the call but would never receive an answer. This time, when she spoke, his voice sounded out words that could have been a response, or perhaps were just creating a different hallucination. The old female shook her head, then instantly regretted it. Her vision swam and she forced herself to sit.
"You were always so jumpy," she growled to the illusion, scolding it for its apparent fright. She had always been the one with the nerves of steel, the courage to face anything and everything. She had worn the pants, so to speak, in their relationship, and he hadn't even changed within the confines of her mind.
But when he spoke her name, she felt the hairs along the back of her neck rise up to full attention. A shiver crawled down her spine, spreading out to the tips of her paws and tail. This hallucination was turning into something quite eerie. Her lips curled back instinctively, ready to defend herself against this apparition. She'd be damned if some haunting ghost got the better of her!
"Tricks? You're so easily fooled," she laughed, not at all friendly. "You haven't changed a bit, have you, old git? Well neither have I, and I won't be going down without a fight. So if your old a** wants me dead with you because you're scared of the dark, don't expect me to be so willing. I rather like being warm." Crazy. She was certainly crazy. There was a time where she would have sacrificed everything, even herself, to give him what he wanted. He had been her everything, her rock and her foundation. But that was before everything all went to crap, and she left everything behind with a bitter taste lingering in her mouth.
"PANSY."
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 5:53 pm
"Yes, yes indeed." His voice became soft and wriggled from his throat in spurts. Shaking, Catalyst began to acknowledge the tone, acknowledge the smell of another waft in the breeze and further more pay close attention to the silver body that motioned and gestured as if it were real. Tilting his head, the male lifted onto his feet with more swiftness than could be expected, his tail hiking slightly with the suggestions made by the opposite wolf.
"Pansy." He croaked. It was true, he had become somewhat of a nervous wreck after abandoning his life. He was no longer as dominant, or strong with his will...he was a pansy. But the voice was so familiar; it took away the doubt in his mind and replaced with it with curiosity. With…Desire?
"Kalia?" He repeated, now aware that the wolf was legit. Her fur swayed with the winds and her features contorted strictly…a fake Kalia in Catalyst’s mind would have galloped toward him and embraced the old boy with hugs and kisses. "It’s Catalyst! Catalyst!" He barked this time with enthusiasm and stumbled a few steps forward, expecting her to recognize him...to welcome him!
He had so easily forgotten what cruelty he had done.
What pain he had caused.
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 10:39 pm
Kalia was beginning to reach the same conclusion that the other old bat was coming to, and she wasn't quite sure she enjoyed that. It had been far too long since she had heard from him, since she had even allowed his presence to occupy her thoughts. She had occasional hallucinations, but those didn't count. He would always taunt her in those, coaxing her with a life gone by and bliss long lost by the both of them. And she hated him for that. She would always know that it wasn't truly him, but in a way she believed it to be him reaching her from beyond, from wherever it was he was at now.
But this one was different in so many ways. For once, he was coming towards her. Always he would run away from her, and he'd be lost to her for a few more days. For another thing, he was talking back to her and actually responding to her words. Normally, the two would have a conversation with themselves, completely disregarding the other. Now there was connection, there was interaction. It sent a jolt of realization through her, causing her hairs to stick up in every direction. Even her toes went rigid, claws digging into the dirt with angry force. Dulled eyes narrowed and ears slicked back as she clicked her teeth together with an irritable snap. His presence was creating such a confusion within the silver female that she wasn't sure what to do. Should she turn tail, or should she embrace him as a long lost lover?
The former alpha scoffed at that idea, of him ever having been a great lover. They had always argued, and together they had chased their children away from them. They were monsters together. But she also remembered the times before they had a litter together. They would still clash, but they meshed more than anything and they truly felt at ease and like they were one being.
"It's me, you old fart," she huffed, tail swaying with mixed judgement. Her heart longed for him, but her mind shut out any mention of his name.
"Catalyst. Why now? After all this time, it's now that you decide to show your pathetic bag of fleas?"
She was far from running towards him and embracing him with hugs and kisses. Miles away.
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:30 am
"I can't believe it!"
He retorted, a youthful gleam passing over his eyes. He was not near enough to spot the anguish in her gaze, just enough to see her chest fill up and then decompress with every real breath taken. The distance was killing him as he approached her further, another step taken. Time had passed, he thought, but what better a time to return than the present?
He mauled his thoughts over, before using them aloud, "Because! What better time to return than the present?"
He breathed heavily against his paws as a shudder rose up, his body a convulsing nightmare for a moment’s time. He had come close enough to where his eyes set on her muzzle, and he could make out distinct features that were vaguely familiar. He was close enough to see the ears turned back and her form held firm and statuesque. He saw her eyes blaze with turmoil and her lips held in a line; his desire did not match with her despise...It was confusing at first, her features all contorted into something not worth approaching when it became clear. She was not happy to see him, she was pained.
It was then that the male pushed up onto his feet and stepped backwards. He couldn't say he was hit with the truth, but he now felt his own hurt boil. Her words made sense, this random encounter sparking her pain, and instinctively he wanted to...
Run.
He turned slightly in a flinch, but hesitated and kept his eyes on her wavering form. His gaze became hazed, his nose catching her scent and holding on.
“I-“ He began, arching his neck. “This…Wasn’t-I’m.”
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:00 pm
The silver girl found herself confused at his behavior. She had been angry at his return, livid even. But his response to her, that there was no time like the present to return, deeply unsettled her and caused her to think that perhaps she had reacted too strongly towards him. So much time had passed, and she remained firmly chained to the past. But he seemed to be doing the mature thing and getting over it, forgiving both of them for all the hurt and pain they had caused. All the drama. Should she do the same?
"No," she spoke aloud, answering her own thoughts. "I didn't want to see you, Catalyst," she spoke, saying his name as if it pinched and made her tongue bleed to do so.
"You broke my heart and have haunted me ever since. I thought you were dead." And that, perhaps, was the worst of all. That he had died on her and left her with all the pain without ever attempting to set things right once more between them. It caused a bitter hatred to kindle within her, until it grew into a raging fire that sought revenge on his very soul. And here he was, heading straight for her. Claws kneaded the ground as her body tensed and her tail went rigid. She wanted so much to lunge for him and take out his throat. But an old memory stopped her.
She remembered feeling so happy and so at peace, once upon a time, when they had first become mates. And the glory of their first litter, although that quickly faded as well. Everything in her life seemed to fade, and she wondered when she would as well. Perhaps she was already fading.
Then, when he stuttered and tripped over his very words, she regained her former anger and instantly narrowed her dull eyes at him, ears falling back further against her skull. "Why have you come back?" she questioned, suspicious of his intentions. Males could never be trusted, she had learned. "You're what?" She wanted him to say ghost, so that she could just ditch him and not feel bad about it, but she could tell from the warmth radiating from his body and the stale scent clenching to his fur that this was no hallucination. This was really him, and she was stuck confronting him about the past.
"Have you forgotten everything?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:32 am
Her hatred was capsizing onto him as every word spoken seemed to instigate further feelings of anger and remorse. There was no use in dealing with her kindly, his thoughts provoked him as old memories confirmed his theory. At one time she had grown soft with him, but there was an assumed notion that before that, and now, she was a hard as stone.
And suddenly, as quick as winds can change so did his kindness morph. Catalyst wanted peace, he wanted to return to a familiar life that was filled with butterflies and posies but his mate wanted none of it. She had good reasons, yes, but had she really loved him at all to not want to forgive?
There was a furrow in his brows that captured his frustration, and the tail that lay limp now stiffened at his thigh.
"Kalia." he began, a flare in his nose another depiction of his rage. "I've done wrong. I've done you wrong, I get it. I can see it in your eyes and I feel it, I remember It." he was lying of course, but he felt she wanted to know he remembered, if only so she had more reason to be infuriated. He continued, "But it is in the past. We are both growing old, I can barely see now and I know my life is coming to a feverish close. You'll still have months if not years to survive on when I'm gone...do you honestly want to live it without each other? I know you still love me, otherwise you would have killed me by now...whatever hatred you feel is well put, and yet needs to be relinquished in order to move on..." his breaths became a bit more consistent, the heart that once pulsed slow and sorely now thumped with a purpose.
"I am sorry. Whether or not you chose to forgive me is your call, but I won't stay here for long if I am not wanted." drawing up slightly, his chest began to fluff out and his eyes grew fiery with passion. He meant this, sincerely, and would leave now if it meant she was through with him.
"I've forgotten a lot of things, comes with the age, but I never forgot you. Decide; what will become of us now?" He barked, where her ears flew back his rotated forward in question.
It was sudden, and almost out of line for him to feel so strongly at this very moment, but it happened...
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Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 9:30 am
Kalia felt as if she were digging her claws into him without actually physically doing so. She could tell that her words were cutting deep and bringing back all of the not-so-wonderful memories of their last times together. She felt bad, but only for a moment, before she reminded herself that he deserved all of this. He had left her high and dry and she was left wandering the world, aimless and without anyone to care for her. It was his fault. All his fault.
But though her eyes were slowly losing sight and her senses dulled beyond reason, she could still spot the tension spark through his body as Catalyst's mood seem to drastically change. And though she was far too exasperated to ever want to hear explanations or apologies from him, she was also too tired to argue. Her bones were old and weak, and she could feel her legs shaking slightly where she stood. So the silver female forced herself to stay and to at least hear him out. It was the least she could do for herself. He caught her in his trap with every word that he spoke, her old mind believing everything he was telling her, even the lies. And the part that got her the most was when he spoke of her living on after he was gone. She knew he was older than her, but she hated hearing that. It stirred emotions in her that she had been certain she'd killed with her lack of interest and concern for him.
Yet here it was, resurfacing in the midst of all the turmoil. It was love, and the incredibly powerful desire to be with him until her last days. "Don't say that," she whispered, tail growing limp as her fighting spirit slowly faded. "Don't talk like that, do you hear me?" she spoke again, louder this time and with more force.
"All this time I thought I was doing myself some good by trying to forget you. But the more I tried, the more you remained in my thoughts. It drove me crazy, up until the point where I would start seeing you when you weren't really there. Do you know how long I've waited for you to come back to me? How long I've waited for redemption and perhaps a little concern for what used to be? I've waited too long, Catalyst, far too long..." She narrowed her eyes at him, seemingly fed up and ready to leave him for good. But then her gaze soften and her body lost its rigidity, although from exhaustion or peacefulness it was hard to determine.
And when he gave her the decision, she took it before it disappeared, wanting nothing more than to end all the pain and suffering once and for all. Never again would he hurt her.
"Don't you leave me again," she spoke, moving closer, although somewhat hesitantly. "If you do... I swear I'll hunt you down and kill you. I love you, Catalyst, and always have. Always will."
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 9:31 am
Her movement, a hesitation noted by her weary steps was all he needed to close the gap. He lunged for her and enveloped the smell chaotically, gesturing his neck toward hers with desperation setting in his eyes. He was almost sure this might startle her, and perhaps she'd snap in fear but Catalyst couldn't deny himself any longer. What with sorrow and forgiveness floating in the air as thick in consistency as molasses, he needed to feel the gentle touch of fur that was so familiar to him, to release the tension.
Her scent was tormenting; an odor that lingered in his nostrils for the time he spent so near. It was also comforting to be this close to it, and he never realized just how lovely reuniting could be...WOULD be. And now, to add to those toxic smells she looked so fine, radiating like fresh snow...
She seemed bare now with the words she spoke, almost too kind in comparison to the Kalia that stood there moments ago. A thin skinned wolf with lips that moved to form "Love" and "You" exhaled a real breath under the shade of trees, eyes looking to him. He breathed his own sigh with that last statement she made, and a silence fell over them while he tried to come up with something worth hearing. "I love you more." He tried to inch closer to her, drawing his form to her side with soft, husky chuckles.
"Look what it has done to me to be away...I missed you." There wasn't even a thought that passed now besides that of Kalia, her silver body imprinted behind his sealed eyelids like tattoos. With every blink she was there just as he remembered her now and just as beautiful. There was no What Now?'s or How Awkward. This was right, this was perfect.
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 6:55 pm
Kalia had relaxed noticeably after she had released all pent up emotions and confessions. Yet when her former mate nearly lunged at her, so desperate was he to feel her fur and smell her aroma, all of her senses heightened as she rose upon her toes and her fangs slipped out from beneath her black lips. It took the silver female a few moments to realize that he was merely basking in her very essence, but when she did she allowed her muscles to release their tension and she slowly settled back upon her paws. Her tail swayed slighly behind her, giving away her underlying happiness at finally having someone, finally having him.
In a moment she was pressing herself against him, wanting nothing more than to be as close as was physically possible. She had gone through so much--too much--and she would be damned if she ever let them fall apart again. He was hers, and not even hell could take him from her. She'd storm the place and tear down every pillar if only to reunite once more.
And when the old male spoke that he loved her more, she growled, low but playfully, and shoved her head against his neck. "Always have to win, don't you?" she laughed slightly, her voice hoarse from lack of use. How long had it been since she had truly laughed at anything? Far too long, she decided, and she thought about punishing him for leaving her to rot on her own, but decided against it. They had been separated by vast distances and angry disputes, but she wouldn't allow for anything else to come between them. They had been driven apart before, and she wasn't about to allow herself to cause such a happening again.
Once-dull eyes now shined with new light as they took in his form, all ragged and boney. She could spot the effects of living the life of a lone, and her heart ached for him. She was in better shape, although only perhaps because she was slightly younger. "Look what I've done to you," she whispered, suddenly blaming herself for his condition. "I should have sought you out sooner. I never should have let you go." It was her biggest regret, one among many, but most certainly her biggest. Scarring her daughter, chasing their children away... she could live with that. But him, for some reason, she simply couldn't live without.
"I missed you more," she spoke, teasing him for his earlier comment but also remaining serious. Not a day had passed that she hadn't thought of him, or has some sort of hallucination about their reunion. But they were together now, and nothing would change that.
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Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:43 am
It was comedic to feel the tension in her climax, and then loosen as both of the wolves praised these precious moments, a snort escaping the male’s nostrils in pleasure.
All the words said were noted with a kind smile and a whimper or two except one, the epitome of the moment lost in a new found tone. “Kalia.” He reclined onto his haunches to look the silver wolf dead on, furrowed brows a vivid portrayal of his distress. “It was never, ever your fault. Age comes to every wolf; nature is the one to blame for that.” It was his own doing, the reason his ragged form looked in such condition, not hers.
Things were spiraling quickly, going from higher moments to low but seemed to return to a neutral ground when she muttered, and then chuckled. “Now who’s the one who always wins?” the male retaliated with, shoving his scruff against her shoulder as gently as he could muster.
It was funny just how feelings can shift a disposition. Before today, Catalyst was always in a horrible mood, moping and feeling extremely depressed while the world spun around him. Now having found Kalia, and the will to survive the male felt both lively and relaxed, content with life and all its misfortunes…A single moment changed it all, as sudden as a shift in time Kalia was brought back to him and returned all things abnormal, back to their original states. “Oh, sweetheart.” He lulled, settling on his belly and rolling to the side stiffly. “I am so happy.”
His bi-colored eyes stared toward the wolf in wonderment, a twinkle in each that marked his glee…as well as the strong glint of the sun, which he seemed to not be distracted by.
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Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 10:32 pm
Kalia couldn't remember feeling such euphoria. Ever. She remembered the bliss and the carefree lifestyle they once led, but none of that could even being to compare to the sensation coursing through her body at this instant. Gray eyes took in his form as she listened to him dismiss her accusations of herself. She was completely guilt-ridden, thinking that their entire past was all her own doing, but he waved it away with simple words that caused her to feel at ease. And in an instant she wondered how he could do such a thing. Not five minutes before she wanted to rip his throat out, and now she wanted nothing more than to assault him with kisses.
"I live in nature and influence it," she spoke, weakly attempting to continue to blame herself. Her voice trailed off into soft mumbles as she found herself lost within him; his smell, his sound, his ragged fur and skinny frame. She'd fatten him up.
Then when he chuckled, she nearly melted at the sound. A smile slowly spread across her face and her eyes became half-lidded as her expression portrayed that of a drunken human. But a happy, drunken human.
"You happy?" she murmured, coming around. "I always dreaded that his day would be the worst for the both of us. I always dreamed," she spoke, leaving out that her dreams were actually hallucinations, "that when I found you, you'd walk away and I'd be left alone in the snow." Always snow. Cold, bitter, and numbing. But now his presence brought about a warmth that couldn't be rivaled by even the sun.
"You'll never get away from me now," she growled happily, if that were ever possible. Her tail thumped upon the ground as she sank to the ground, leaning herself against him. Her old bones creaked in protest and she whined to try to cover it up, pretending to be so overwhelmed with their reunion. Which, indeed she was, so it wasn't very difficult.
"Never, ever," she whispered, her jaws parting in a yawn as she felt the events from the day catching up to her. It was probably only midday, but her old body wasn't used to so much intense emotion. "Promise to be here when I wake up?" Kalia couldn't even wait for an answer as her head rolled off her paws and onto the ground, her gray eyes hidden by lids as sleep overcame her and her body finally reclaimed its rest.
He'd be there. She was sure of it.
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