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 Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 4:51 pm
Jini would know, granted.
That was something that Tifu anticipated, for the queen was smart and a had a keen eye. That aside, she was (rightfully) upset she had gotten so near the warleader, she was sure of it. However, the lithe lioness could not be sad while looking down at the small squirming cubs. At the end of the day, it didn't matter whom had created them; they were there now, breathing and full of life.
"Poor thing," she murmured suddenly though, "Poor little one... marked green like that. I hope he's not paying for something he did not do," she was of course referring to her own indiscretion... the very one that had produced said cubs, "What do you think, Hodari, will they... be okay?" her eyes landed on her friend, or rather, now mate. She wasn't really used to the word, but she found that oddly enough, it didn't sit wrong with her, "You can come closer now," even though they weren't his, and he knew that, he would be 'raising' them as his own. Takatifu couldn't really begin to understand how the Vates could accept such a life, nor why he was doing this.
The well being of the pride only went so far. There had to be another reason.
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Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 12:11 pm
"Five little cubs," he said quietly, lifting his head to stare across the den at them. He watched them squirming, listened to her speak about the green one. He couldn't say truly if it was the cub's soul that truly marked him, or if it was the actions of his parents - or more importantly, that sorry brute that didn't know how to keep his paws to himself. Even if it was the cub's soul, the spirits had a funny way of showing Sakata just what they thought of his actions, in his opinion. Sticking him with a cowardly son - it was amusing.
Only, the whole pride was going to think it was his actions that had stuck him with a cowardly son. Again, that silent anger boiled in his veins, and for a moment, the Vates had to look away from Tifu out of fear that she see it, even though his face was shrouded in the darkness of the cave's shadows.
"I don't know for certain," he said slowly, after a moment. He pushed himself up at her beckoning, moving to sit silently at her side. After a moment's hesitation, he reached up to push away the mask on his face. Even if they weren't his, he had to do right by them, and they should see the face of their 'father' - not the face of a monster. "It all depends on Jini's moods, on how much I can convince her that I think these are mine, and on how much she really cares about that in the end." His sister, oh, she was a formidable foe - just what had that pair been thinking?
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:27 pm
A small sigh escaped the Pure's maw, her ears dropping at Hodari's words, mostly because she knew he was right. It was such a contrast of personality; when she'd been by the Warleader he'd spoken calming words quite often, telling her everything was going to be just fine. That he'd fix it. The words that flowed out of Hodari were anything but calming; they were the cold reality, the truth of the situation as it laid out before them.
Tifu could not decide which she would have rather, him mirroring Sakata in that way, or this cold, hard truth. As she licked the cub's pelts, she pushed away those thoughts and looked up at the male that had stepped forward to help her in her crisis. Lord and the spirits knew he had nothing to do with any of this, and yet he'd been willing to tarnish his own name and reputation to save hers; try as she might, she could not figure out why he'd done that. He'd always been a good friend, but she wasn't sure friendship could really be pushed to this extent, "Hodari..." she murmured finally, her ears flicking back as she kept her eyes on the cubs, so many of them sporting Muhali's characteristic blue stripes and markings, "Why did you do it?" a pause as she finally took her eyes off from the cubs squirming with life around her, "Why did you help me?"
It was obvious she was grateful for his help - she just didn't seem to understand why he would offer it to her so willingly. If anything Hodari did seemed 'willing', this was it... after all, he always wore a mask, both literal and mataphorical, and it was hard to figure out what the male was thinking at the best of times.
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:47 pm
Something about Tifu just stunned Hodari to silence. It had always been true, but it was never more true than in this moment. Right now maybe it was just because she was asking him something that he never thought he would have to answer. Or, rather, maybe it was just the answer he never thought he'd have to speak - the circumstance and question she was putting forth were completely unforeseeable.
"I," he started, perhaps to spin some noble tale of how it was his duty to protect others, but his words died. His gaze averted quickly as he realized his face was bare from his mask and she could see him. His paws shifted and his mind raced, his face almost as blank as the mask he usually wore. Almost, but not quite, because the faint traces of discomfort were easily readable even in the dimness of the den.
Finally he let a sigh pass through his lungs as his mind filled with all the memories he had of Tifu. Watching her from a distance, finally getting the courage to speak to her, all the years of admiring her for who she was and her position in this pride. His love was carefully cultivated over the years. "Because if you were gone, a little of my purpose in life would die with you." He drew a deep breath, steeling his face to the best of his ability, and turned his bright eyes back onto the new mother. "The pure is the pride's greatest treasure, my greatest duty, and somewhere.. I mixed duty with emotions."
He couldn't say it, he couldn't speak the three little words. Perhaps it was because he knew it seemed ridiculous to love someone that couldn't love him in return or maybe it was just because emotions were a foreign subject to him.
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:12 pm
She watched him as he moved about awkwardly (she'd never really thought to use the word 'awkward' when describing Hodari, but it seemed to fit at that moment in time), and could not decide whether she has bothered him, or if he really was at a loss for words. It soon enough became clear, however, that the male had been stunned out of words when he cut off his explanation after the first syllable. Granted, the Vates had never been really eloquent, for more often than not, she usually saw him sitting silently - he did whatever was expected from him and rarely uttered more than a couple of words in the process.
No, words never had seemed to be his forte, however, there was something mildly endearing about how he was shifting his weight about, not to mention when he pulled away as soon as he realized he wasn't wearing his mask. Still, Tifu waited patiently and silently for him to find his bearings, her head only lowering to tend to the cubs when they needed it (which she did almost by instinct - she was barely paying mind to what she was doing).
When he finally did answer, it was clear the Pure had no idea what he was talking about - at least, not really. She didn't seem to see the underlying meaning behind the awkward words (confession, rather) or didn't seem to understand them, "I don't understand," she told him finally, with a small tilt of her head; the moment seemed to radiate innocence, even if the squirming cubs around her betrayed it, "What emotions did you mix with duty?"
And why ever was mixing emotion with duty a problem? She also wanted to point out that... sooner or later she would be gone regardless - probably sooner than later, seeing as how the Mizimu had not been in a war for a rather long time. Peace never lasted forever.
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:35 pm
He frowned slightly as he realized he was going to have to further explain himself. Tifu was beautiful, he realized, but she had no head for subtleties. Then again, who was he to speak? He never really practiced the fine art of eloquence, what with all his brooding.
"Love," he said after a long, painful moment, feeling the word scratch and dig at his insides as he spoke. He stood up and turned towards the den's entrance, taking the moment to look away and stare out at the pride. "Not love for my duty, not love for my pride, not even love for my family," he muttered, "all those are easy." Easily dealt with and packed away where it didn't interfere with a clear mind.
"No, it's.." he grit his teeth and shook his head, sending his mane shaking around his face, "it's you." He turned and look down at her, his face a mix of confusion and for the first time, the compassion he had always hidden. "It's always been you."
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 5:13 pm
And... she was confused again. Deeply, horribly so. Not because she didn't understand him this time (he'd made sure to be as blunt as possible, going as far as to elaborate before she could cut in and ask what he meant with 'love'). Her confusion stemmed from the fact she had never thought to consider him in any sort of romantic light, and yet here he was, apparently spilling out his proverbial guts (oh the irony) and confessing he'd been in love with her since only the spirits knew when.
Tifu opened her mouth to speak, and then snapped it shut, noticing that her words had dies in her throat; she felt horribly stupid for never having noticed, but in her defense, the dark male had always been silent, concrete, almost clinical, even when dealing with her. She's always figure he simply had a hard time expressing his feelings and this situation seemed to verify that.
It had been different when she'd been with Sakata, and thus, the lioness was confused. Love? Was that what she'd felt for Sakata? Was this what the Warleader had felt for her? This very same feeling the Vates seemed to hold within? It felt different. The way he was looking at her was vastly different from the way the Warleader had looked at her. Her confusion only grew when she noticed how extremely, and acutely aware she was of him at that very moment; if lions could blush, she sure as hell would have.
Absolutely robbed of words, all she could manage was to look at him, almost as if for the first time in her life and it was only a while later when she whispered, "Why me? What did I do to deserve you or your love?" mentally, she sought out the spirits, but they remain annoyingly silent around her.
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 5:51 pm
He watched her for silence as she spoke, as she asked him that question. It was a question he had considered a hundred times over, always looking for a different answer but knowing that he had always known. With a sigh, he moved to sit down at her side, wondering what she would think of his silly excuse.
"Because.." he paused, drawing a breath, trying to find that confidence that seemed to be eluding him "because you were everything I once wanted to be." It sounded even more stupid as he let the words slip past his lips. "I grew up thinking I would go to the spirits as a sacrifice, that Chwelewa would be the Vates." He had never spoken of this to anyone, never told anyone what he once longed for. "I was prepared to die for the pride, but then that whole identity was replaced with this one."
He brought up a paw and rubbed at his face, then turned his gaze back up to her once more. "When I first saw you, I longed for what you were given. Your place in this pride is something I will never have. I made myself get to know you because of that, and at the more I knew, the more I loved." He needed to know her, be close to her.
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Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 4:44 pm
The more she watched him, the more she felt like she was very, very little, and as if she were horribly out of place. His gaze when he finally looked back at her pinned her to her spot and it was all the Pure could do not to squirm in place - it wasn't that he was making her uncomfortable so much as... he intensity of his words and feelings being more than she could take in at the time. What she had felt for the Warleader seemed to pale in comparison to this, and the notion was making her feel horribly embarrassed inside.
She was also having a rather hard time hiding this from him, as she'd never been good at wearing masks. It was plain to the eye how... little and mildly moronic she felt at that precise moment. Not only because of her previous self-revelation, but because she had never noticed, and she felt she should have, somehow, been able to tell. Wasn't she in touch with the spirits? Wasn't she the Pure? How come this came as news to her?
"We all die," were her whispered words finally, "All of us, sooner or later," some indeed sooner than later, "Ultimately... it's the same though - we are all offered to the spirits, Hodari, and..." she paused there and bit her lip, pondering her words, her ears flattening back, only to perk back swiftly, "You wouldn't be here - you wouldn't be with me if you had joined the spirits back then. You wouldn't be here and I..." she looked down at the cubs, "They would be in horrible trouble. It's thanks to you they are here. It's thanks to you I am here, safe. As safe as we can possibly be, given the circumstances anyhow. It's all you," she couldn't say she loved him, not really - she didn't love him in the way he wanted. Not now, but the seed had been planted, even if neither of them knew it, "Maybe it wasn't what you wanted back then, but it was what you needed. What was needed."
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Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:00 pm
Even if he thought she had no head for subtleties, he realized that as a pure, she had a way of making sense of everything. She must spend her life speaking with the spirits, knowing their ways, and in this she had shown him what his path was.
"And yet, if I had never been filled with such a longing, I still would not be here with you. I like to think I always do the right thing, but it takes a lot to make me go against Jini's will." He frowned at this as though his head hurt, his brows furrowing. He shifted and moved to lay down at Tifu's side, though he didn't touch her form with his own. It was still an awkward gesture, his body close but rigid and untouching. He didn't overstep boundaries even when this situation was more intimate than any he had ever been in - maybe simply because it was more intimate than any other.
"The spirits work in mysterious ways," he said softly, "and I never would have imagined they could have such a plan as this." He turned his eyes down to look at the squirming little ones, drawing a deep breath as he did. "What plans have they for these cubs, to go to such great lengths for them?"
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Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:28 pm
As he shifted to lay down by her side, her eyes never left his form, as if she were pondering something. His words cut through the silence of the cave (the young cubs had moved enough and were currently sleeping, though Tifu seemed to know the peace would not last for long) - it barely distracted her from the fact he was making sure he not to touch her.
In a way it was sweet, but in another, it was vaguely frustrating. Even before he'd voiced his feelings, she had planned on making this work - it was her last chance... her only chance at happiness before she joined the spirits and she wanted to make it work. Before, her biggest problem had been her guilt at 'forcing' him out of whatever relationship he'd been in only to make him part of this charade. But now that he had spoken what he really felt, the Pure felt that the only thing holding her from happiness... was her own self.
It was true she did not love him, but love could be cultivated over time. And even if it wasn't, this, what she had right now was enough for her. It was what she needed; she just wanted to feel loved, and that in mind, she closed the distance between them in one soft, fluid movement, reclining her body against his as she watched the cubs, "The spirits..." she murmured, "Are horribly unfair," a snort escaped her, though it was clear she was jesting, the same way one would talk about an annoying little brother, for she'd always felt particularly close to the spirits, "The least they could have done was send me a word of warning."
She felt silent after that and only moved to look up at her mate, watching him, trying to read his face in the darkness and yet failing to do so. It was only after a long while that she spoke again, "Good plans. I'm sure of it," just like any decent mother should be.
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Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 10:22 pm
When Tifu moved suddenly and pressed her body against his so that she could recline her weight against his form, it took every ounce of his will to keep him from suddenly drawing away. Thinking about a situation and suddenly being thrown headlong into it were very different things. Thus, as she leaned her warm body into his, his whole being stiffened noticeably. For a moment it seemed like he might move away, but then ever so slowly, he forced himself to relax.
Trying to take his mind off the fact that the lioness he had always cherished so much was now leaning into him, he concentrated instead upon what she was saying. "I don't think that's how they work," he said quietly. The spirits didn't always warn them about what was going to happen - they were very cryptic from what he could tell. He could only nod in agreement with her over her cubs, but he wasn't one to simply keep repeating what had already been said. So instead, he offered her a weak, hesitant smile.
"You should sleep," he said softly, leaning his head down (very awkwardly) to rest it against the top of her head. "We're going to have a very long few days coming up and you're going to need all the strength you can get." He let the world around him fade to darkness as he retreated to the thoughts of his mind. Thoughts of his new family and the trials they would face. These cubs might not be his, but he would protect them. For Tifu.
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