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 Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 5:51 pm
}~{Okay, this is totally random, but this song TOTALLY captures the feel/lyrics of this RP. Like, a lot heart }~{Show me how to lie
You're getting better all the time
And turning all against the one
Is an art that's hard to teach
Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd
And as you jump back into line
A mob jumps to their feet
Now dance F**ker dance
Man he never had a chance
And no one ever knew it was really only you
And now you steal away
Take him out today
Nice work you did
You're gonna go far Kid
When you walk away
Nothing more to say
See the lightning in your eyes
See 'em running for their livesKyllae wasn't sulking. Or moping. Or acting one bit distressed over her punishment. That would make it seem like she'd done something wrong! Which she had...but she'd be damned if she had to act like it. She was being punished, there was no use giving herself any more aggravation by being personally hard on herself. She'd done that already, and still spent a deal of evening hours brooding and recalling just what she'd done. She wouldn't, however, let it interfere with her daily life, her chores, or how she took care of herself. She was still composed, still well dressed, though she was admittedly much better behaved than normal.
The whole Weyr was out for her hide. Especially the candidates. They all wanted her to leave, be punished more, wanted her to be hurt...all manner of awful things. But as part of her stubborness...she made it a point that she would not be leaving the Weyr. She intended to see her time here through. She intended to impress. If not at this hatching, then another one. She simply wouldn't allow herself to fail. And if she impressed...she wouldn't be immune, from all those harsh looks, those sneers, the jostling, the attitude she was given, but a dragon would ensure her place at the Weyr. The worst that could happen would be a transfer, and...she could deal with that. Ista was far too crowded anyway.
She could deal with the pressure from the Weyr's other occupants. Admittedly, it was a hard burden to bear. It was difficult, knowing that everyone despised you. She doubted she had more than a handful of friends left, after that incident, and even they would be questioning maintaining relationships with her after that stunt she'd pulled...it was tough. She wasn't going to break down though. Resiliant as ever, she had found ways to compensate. She didn't need them anyway! She spent a lot of time with her flits, who didn't seem to care much what she'd done. Most likely because they'd forgotten already. Which was just fine with Kyllae, since she didn't seek highly intelligent companionship. She just wanted a bit of love, which Trouble and Mischief were more than happy to provide.
They were quite the trio. Trouble, Mischief, and Misbehave. More like Miss Behave at the moment though, considering how well Kyllae was acting. She hadn't done a bit for the ILA since the incident. Too many people had it out for her already, she didn't want to take the risk of getting caught. And she'd been working her a** of in terms of chores; doing above and beyond what was asked of her. Hand salve was a very good friend of hers now, considering how blistered and painful her hands were, from all that manual labor. She couldn't give anyone a reason to fault her. Not anymore. Not until the hatching had happened, and time healed the worst of people's feelings towards her. She hated to admit it, but especially after her run in with Favan, she was painfully aware of how little status she had, how little authority, as a candidate. She was easily replaced or disposed of. Well no, that wasn't right. Kyllae liked to think she was new, fresh, maybe a bit acidic or trying at times, but...she was different. Decisive, bold, forward, willing to take risks. Even if those risks sometimes got her in ridiculous loads of trouble; like this recent venture had. She liked to think she had a special something. Just...as of late particularly, it seemed no one else could see it. Was she wrong, was she really just a fool, chasing whisps of dreams? With aspirations full of holes?
No, no! She couldn't let that get to her. She would not succumb. She still had some fight in her! She would not give up! She sighed, laying on her bed, propped up on her elbows to stroke the tummy of sleeping Trouble, who was laying on Kyllae's pillow. Trouble had been invaluable as of late. While Kyllae slept, Trouble kept watch, preventing anyone from pulling any pranks on Kyllae, or exerting whatever they felt to be 'justice'. Damn vigilantes didn't realize what she'd been going through was bad enough?
She drew small circles on Trouble's belly with her thumb, staring off into space. She couldn't participate at the hatching...that was bad, but perhaps a good thing. If the other candidates saw her being punished like that, maybe they would be less inclined to try and punish her themselves? And then there was her wild and fervent hope to impress from the stands. She wouldn't give it up, no matter how crazy as it was, how farfetched. It gave her something to hope for, strive towards. Rather than dwelling on the fact that she wasn't allowed on the actual stands.
She was deep in thought, dwelling in hope, busy aspiring, dreaming, wishing, when she heard the knock. It wasn't fancy, more of a thudding really, but it was loud. Enough to catch her attention, to drive away all that day-dreaming. This annoyed her. Who else was coming to yell at her? She would chase them off. She was not one to sit through reprimanding or chastising unless her adressor's authority demanded it. "What'dya want?" she called, a little frustrated. Her eyes were narrowed, her muscles clenched. Below her on the pillow, she saw Trouble stirring, picking up on Kyllae's emotions. "This'd better be important," she warned, sounding awfully threatening.Slowly out of line
And drifting closer in your sights
So play it out I'm wide away
It's a scene about me
There's something in your way
And now someone is gonna pay
And if you can't get what you want
Well it's all because of me
Now dance F**ker dance
Man I never had a chance
And no one ever knew it was really only you
And now you'll lead the way
Show the light of day
Nice work you did
You're gonna go far kid
When you walk away
Nothing more to say
See the lightning in your eyes
See 'em running for their lives
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 8:09 pm
T'ka's first reaction upon hearing the eggs had been touched when they were still soft was outrage. When she found out it was Kyllae, she was horrified. How could she commit such a heinous and criminal act? T'ka was suprised her cousin hadn't been kicked out of the Weyr. Or perhaps the authority was hoping she'd leave on her own, after facing all her peers who wanted her so badly for her to be gone? Unfortunately, T'ka knew that would never work with her cousin. T'ka knew Kyllae was determined, but that often meant her stubborn streak was a dozen dragonlengths wide. Unless she was kicked out, T'ka doubted her cousin would leave.
It had been quite a while since the incident, longer yet since T'ka'd seen Kyllae. She'd been avoiding her cousin. She didn't want to get mad at her, so it was best she was just avoided. T'ka was furious with her cousin for doing something so stupid, but she didn't want to drive her away either. T'ka knew what it was like, to be an outcast. Being a female smith wasn't exactly common. But at least everyone didn't hate her, like they did Kyllae right now. T'ka couldn't even imagine the social pressures placed on the shoulders of the ex-dolphineer right now. She admired her cousin for that much, at least. Being able to take care of herself and hold her chin up, despite the situation. Only problem with holding your head high, was that you were liable to get your throat slashed. T'ka sure hoped Kyllae knew what she was doing.
She knew she couldn't avoid the girl forever. T'ka felt somewhat obligated to support Kyllae. The girl could probably use a friend in a time like this. But at the same time, she had a strong urge to give Kyllae a talking to. One thing was for certain, she couldn't ignore her forever. After T'ka had finished with lunch, she'd taken a stroll, meandering around for a little while, oiled Haanyath, who was still very proud of her recent flight, and in a better mood than normal, and finally found her way over to the candidate barracks.
Not normally one to hesitate, she waited an uncharacteristic moment before knocking. To collect both her thoughts and her emotions, and to prepare herself to face the family member she bother loved and hated the most right now. She knocked, hard, to make sure Kyllae noticed. A few moments later, she heard the angry remark requesting just what she wanted. What did she want? T’ka wasn’t sure. It wasn’t as if she could do much to help, but…she had to do something, right? She couldn’t just leave Kyllae alone. T’ka didn’t want to abandon her. But at the same time, what could she do? Not much…but she would try.
She didn’t respond verbally to Kyllae. Not yet. T’ka hoped that Kyllae wouldn’t be in such a sour mood once she knew who it was. T’ka couldn’t imagine all the visitors her cousin must have, to yell at her, or whatever. Thankfully, she was well enough aware that her cousin could take care of herself physically, and was so headstrong mentally that it was unlikely anyone would inflict any lasting harm to her.
She walked into the room, watching as Kyllae’s scowl twitched and turned into something that was sort of a smile, but not quite. Before Kyllae could say anything, T’ka cut her off, inserting her own words instead. “I’m not here to yell at you. Don’t worry.” T’ka assured. She wasn’t sure if Kyllae was worried about that at all, but…T’ka had to let her cousin know that at least she hadn’t arrived with any malicious thoughts. “I just want to help,” she assured.
Thankfully, the room was empty of its other occupants. No doubt the other candidates were around Kyllae as little as possible. Thankfully, this would give T’ka a little bit more incentive to be open with her feelings and thoughts. Something she wasn’t normally good at, but…well, she would try. But how to begin? “I realize you’re under a lot of stress right now…” Wow, she felt remarkably eloquent today. Not. This ‘feelings’ thing was harder than it looked! Maybe it was because T’ka wasn’t exactly the stereotypical girl? She was terrible at talking about herself, or anything regarding her, pretty much. So trying to comfort Kyllae was something she was far from familiar with. In fact, she was pretty damn terrible at being comforting. “But…I want you to know I’m there for you, if you ever want to, you know…talk” That wasn’t so bad…still, she hardly sounded comfortable. She wondered if Kyllae was picking up on her awkwardness as well. Her cousin’s eyes were cold though, distant, almost. As if she wasn’t even listening. This frustrated T’ka a little. If she was going to take the time and effort to open up to Kyllae, the least she could do was pretend to be listening.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:51 pm
Kyllae wasn’t sure what warranted her attention more. The fact that T’ka was actually trying to talk about feelings, or the fact that T’ka felt she needed a talking to in the first place. T’ka’s irritation was misplaced, Kyllae really was listening, just…not with a hundred percent of her attention. Kyllae was deep in thought, though perhaps not at the right time, considering she had company. But…what had brought T’ka here? Were her own defenses not strong enough? Did T’ka feel that she needed to be taken care of? Was she showing some sign of a break down that she wasn’t aware of? All of these had Kyllae very concerned. Like her cousin, she liked to be able to provide for herself. Find strength for herself. In a world where all her friends had become enemies or worse, it was a big change. She had to be strong, solidify her values or…disappear. Leave. And that was unacceptable.
Kyllae was going through quite a bit of psychiatric work out at the moment. Her friends always used to be the most important thing in the world to her. But now…she had few to none. But she was still going, still working…she had to learn to depend solely on herself now. It was obvious no one wanted to help her. They all wanted to bring her down. Friends indeed. One stupid mistake and they were all willing to turn on her! She’d show them! She’d show them all just what she could do! She was going to make someone of herself, bring about change, make up for her mistakes and more! She just…needed a chance. An opportunity. But one had yet to come her way.
After she’d gotten to about that point, she recalled that she was entertaining T’ka, and jumped to rapid attention. She noted the way her cousin’s lip was threatening a frown, and quickly tossed the greenrider a casual, warm smile. She watched, pleased, as her cousin seemed to relax a little. “T’ka, this means a lot to me. Especially coming from you. But trust me, I can take care of myself.” she reassured. She was doing so good so far, wasn’t she? She wasn’t letting the others get her down. Turns out she didn’t need her friends quite as much as she thought she did! She was so proud of herself. Though considering she’d screwed up so badly to reach this conclusion in the first place…she wasn’t sure if it was worth it. “Live and learn, right?” Kyllae chuckled, sounding more or less completely normal.
“I messed up. I got in trouble. There’s nothing I can do to change it, and it’d be a shame if I didn’t take something away from the whole experience,” she said knowingly, resuming once again her stroking of Trouble’s stomach, though her eyes never left T’ka. Judging by the way her relative’s frown returned, however, in even greater force, Kyllae guessed that something she said had rubbed T’ka the wrong way.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:01 am
T’ka was at first relieved to see that maybe Kyllae was paying attention after all. Though her calm, relaxed demeanor was possibly even more bothersome. She didn’t seem upset about the incident at all! How could she, endanger all those eggs like that, and not even seem sorry or terribly upset. She just felt the need to ‘learn’ something from the experience, and move on? T’ka felt a twinge of annoyance deep in her gut. Sulking and worrying her life away would do no good, but couldn’t she at least show some sort of regret? She didn’t seem bothered at all! T’ka couldn’t believe Kyllae had the nerve to laugh, as if this was some matter not of grave importance. This was possibly the biggest bit of trouble in the Weyr for a long time. The stolen wine incident? That hardly measured up to the problem Kyllae had caused.
T’ka felt her muscles tighten a little, and against her will, she frowned. She had come here trying to be nice. Hoping to be supportive. But Kyllae’s attitude was making that very difficult. T’ka didn’t need to be told that Kyllae could take care of herself, but…she wanted to help, still. Wanted Kyllae to know she wasn’t alone. Was the girl so adamant about taking care of herself that she was willing to push away the possible only friend she had at the moment?
T’ka tried to calm herself down. She was quite good at it. Years of holding her temper and stilling her tongue and fists had produced someone who was quite in control of her actions. T’ka might get upset, but she wouldn’t act on it. Unlike her dragon, the only harm an angry T’ka would cause was a glare, and possibly a few harsh words. T’ka found physical violence somewhat degrading as of late. People only fought when they couldn’t solve their problems in a more sophisticated manner, in her opinion. Thankfully, most people didn’t want to fight her anyway, given her height and muscular build.
But if there were ever a time she wanted to injure Kyllae, it would probably have to be now. T’ka wasn’t normally so easy to put into a bad mood, but she was still somewhat aggravated over Haanyath’s flight, and the fact that she was related to the person who had caused this Weyr-wide mess. She took Kyllae’s lightheartedness as a personal insult. Why, Kyllae seemed less insulted than she was. And this was not acceptable with T’ka.
She folded her arms across her chest and glared at Kyllae. “You don’t seem very sorry,” she remarked. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d even go so far as to say you didn’t care.” Normally T’ka would have stopped there. But she was mad at this point, and…Kyllae was available. And she was being such a pain in the a**…“Just what do you hope to achieve, Kyllae, by getting in trouble like this? You’re going to end up an outcast, a nobody. Quit lying to yourself and set your sights on something realistic. You set your goals so high, you can hardly see the ground you’re walking on!” T’ka snapped. She instantly regretted it. That was unnecessarily cruel. But she wouldn’t take it back. Couldn’t, because she felt it was true. “We can’t all be dragonriders, you know,” she whispered, just loud enough for Kyllae to hear. Oh shells, she hadn’t meant to get so mad at her; why did Kyllae make it so damn easy?
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 11:42 am
Kyllae was equally as agitated. So even T’ka felt the need to come in and harass her? Fine. She didn’t need T’ka either! Kyllae fully intended to prove herself, T’ka or no T’ka. She didn’t frown or grimace or anything in response to T’ka’s sour attitude. In fact, she smiled wider. She rolled her shoulders, and got up out of bed slowly, her eyes never leaving T’ka’s. Eye contact was a formidable weapon, she had learned, it was not something that should be underestimated.
Why was it that T’ka was criticizing her for aiming high? T’ka had always aspired to do something…why was she so critical now? Had Haanyath somehow dulled her expectations? Unlikely, Haanyath seemed just as eager to prove herself as T’ka did! Kyllae wasn’t in the mood to delve any further into exploring why T’ka said or did these things, and ended her thoughts there. If T’ka was going to be critical…fine. Better she found out now, than have to rely on T’ka later, only to find out family ties didn’t run as deep as she’d thought.
She stood straight and tall, hardly put off by the fact that T’ka was still a little taller than her. So what? Kyllae wasn’t going to be intimidated. Wasn’t going to back down, ever! Why did everyone expect so damn little of her?!? It was so frustrating! T’ka might as well have been Favan at that moment, Kyllae didn’t care. T’ka was just trying to bring her down. ‘Ground her’? Yeah right, T’ka and all those others…they were just trying to crush her dreams. She wasn’t getting her hopes up, she was being realistic, as far as she was concerned. The lengths she would go to, to redeem herself, to show them all her dedication, how much she really wanted this…had practically no end.
Kyllae moved a little, leaning back against the wall and moving into a slouch, and shoving her hands deep in her pockets. She held her head low, to look at T’ka from under partially lidded eyes. Her cousin wasn’t worthy now of her outright respect. Respect was not given based on status or authority, it had to be earned, in Kyllae’s mind; and T’ka was doing a poor job of holding it. Didn’t the former smith realize she’d been criticized enough already? Like she wanted to be bothered anymore.
Removing a hand from her pocket, Kyllae nonchalantly wound and unwound a lock of hair around her forefinger, almost as if she was bored. She was hardly that, but controlling body posture, actions, and expressions was a very swell talent. It made it infinitely easier to mess around with people, and to hide your true feelings. “Why so critical, T’ka?” she challenged, raising a single eyebrow mockingly. “Who are you to know what I feel and do not feel. Especially since you hardly seem to have feelings yourself.”
She changed position now, ceasing her slouching to stand up, holding her head up and a little to the side, almost as if she was looking down on T’ka. She was goading T’ka at this point. Kyllae respected and even admired T’ka for her ability to stay cool under even the most stressful situations, and since Kyllae knew T’ka wouldn’t react…why not take out some of her own frustration and anger on her? T’ka seemed just as willing to do that, why couldn’t Kyllae as well? “You have NO idea what I’m capable of, T’ka,” She spat, her expression resembling one of mild distaste. “I can be anything I want to be. No matter that no one seems to realize it, I am capable of a lot, and you’ll all see that soon enough. I won’t let you, or anyone else, dissuade me.” She asserted, sounding very much sure of herself.
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:07 pm
T'ka wallowed in her foul mood. Haanyath's recent flight had put her in an almost permanent bad mood as of late. At that to the fact that her relative was now public enemy number one, and the eggs and therefore dragonets might be injured...T'ka had plenty to worry about. Favan obviously didn't gring enough punishment into Kyllae. The former dolphineer obviously still had spunk. T'ka doubted she could extinguish Kyllae's fire, but she could sure as hell try and dampen it.
"Obviously, I don't know what you're capable of. I didn't think you'd be so dumb, to touch the eggs like that. You disgust me," T'ka snarled, hating the way Kyllae poked and prodded her emotions. That girl was more trouble than a wet tunnelsnake. Why was she even bothering with her?
"Don't you realize it's not about what you want anymore? It's what everyone else wants, what the Weyr wants, what the dragonets want. You think you're so great; and you're not even going to Stand. And what if you did impress to some small, shy green, or a crippled dragon; injured because of your foolhardy actions? What then? You can't make a crippled green into a gold, just like you can't make a queen flame. And what if you don't impress, hm? Maybe the dragons don't like you. Maybe they see the monster in you that everyone else was too blind to notice, hm?" T'ka badgered.
"Just go home Kyllae. Go back to dolphineering. Save face. If you leave, people will forget eventually, and you can go back to your normal life. Go back to Argentina. Hopefully he'll still want you. Nobody here does."
In the back of her mind, T'ka was aware of Haanyath trying to calm her. Aware of her green's anxiety that T'ka was so worked up. But T'ka was in no mood to be calmed. Kyllae needed to be taught a lesson! She needed to realize that what she'd done was terrible, unforgivable. People like her shouldn't be allowed at the Weyr in the first place!
<> Haanyath's voice finally got through. It was suprisingly soft, concerned. But T'ka had no time for that.
<>
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:55 pm
Kyllae took a step forward, fists clenched, glowering at T'ka. She wanted to kill T'ka right now. No one was allowed to talk to her like that! Such disrespect and contempt...T'ka was just as bad as the rest of them, worse even! T'ka wanted her to stop believing, and go home. Save face? As if, Kyllae had nothing left to save. She was already a nobody, nothing, she had nothing left to lose, except her presence here. Being kicked out was the only thing they still could do to her; and she was adamant about not leaving of her own will.
How silly it was that T'ka didn't seem to see anything in her though. Was the girl so tall she couldn't see the real world? Couldn't see Kyllae's potential? Why was it that no one bothered to see past the bad, and realize all the good Kyllae felt she had? Her hand reached out, grabbing a small clay pot from her nightstand, the same jar she'd used to incubate Trouble's egg was now her weapon. She hefted it, testing it's weight, and made a show of it. Made T'ka aware that she wasn't afraid to lob it right at that stupid fat head of hers.
"You don't know when to stop, do you?" Kyllae challenged. "You never have." She snarled. "Impressing or not, I will do whatever it takes to save this Weyr, even from itself. If I don't impress, shells, I'll be headwoman then. And green, blue, or gold, no matter what dragon I'll impress, I'll make the best of it. No dragon of mine will be shy, or a follower. We'll be somebody. We'll be leaders. I'll be a wingleader or candidate master, or whatever I want. I can do anything I set my mind to, and that's what makes me special.
I don't limit myself with negativity or submission. I stand tall and proud knowing that against all the odds, I'm still here. Despite all the animosity, I still have hope. There's a dragon for me, I know it, and I intend to be there when it hatches, whenever that is. But as for you, and all the other non-believers...Leave. I don't need you. But don't come crying to me when your world crumbles around you. I'll be off doing things, making change, building a new Weyr, while you all starve to death and die of disease. I won't look back, I won't care. You're all so ready to abandon me, I should return the favor."
She gripped the clay jar tighter. "Get out. Now." Kyllae pointed to the door, and stood unwavering as she waited for T'ka to leave. She wouldn't stand for this insult. It was disgusting, wrong. She was determined to prove just what she could do, whether anyone cared to watch or not. Kyllae knew she was capable of anything, and until everyone else accepted that, she was fully content to be rid of them, just as they were ready to be done with her.
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