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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 9:30 am
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 9:36 am
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 11:29 am
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Monday, November 14th, 2005 11:18am
So I hear the doorbell ring. And when I go to get the door, some guy came down from the ceiling Tom Clancy style behind me and throws a burlap sack over my head! eek Next thing you know, I feel a karate chop to the back of my neck and I'm totally passed out.
I wake up in some kind of vehicle and we're on a bumpy road. I can hear the wind howling outside rattling the protective covers on the windows. It's making me kinda scared... crying
After about an hour or so, we finally get there! This place is HUMONGOLOID!! eek
Man, these guys are secretive! There must've been like a bajillion different key cards swiped and keypads pushed before the large door(which looked like the door on one of those old airplane hangars) opened up. That was ... COOL. surprised
Sure my butt hurt a little from sitting on the hard metal floor in the transport, but man it was worth it! Inside I could see really large machines turning out little parts for toys everywhere! Probably the BEST THING EVER. xd
I'm then brought to another room where there are rows and rows of cubicles! Sweet. I've never worked in such an official looking place before. I noticed one of the elves, he looked like he was kind of upset... erm, maybe even annoyed. I don't know what his problem was though cause I'd be hecka stoked to work in this place! Then again, he looked like he was assembling something really, really complex-- you know, like putting a cap back on a pen or something. I could never get that right. neutral
Anywho, then some guy comes up to me and tells me that my new boss will be some guy named 247. Supposedly, he's at the top of the chain around here! This is soo COOL. Oh man, I'm totally gonna love working at this Secret Arctic Test Facility!! heart
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 1:58 pm
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:15 pm
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Monday, November 14th, 2005 3:08pm
So I finally got set up with my very own workstation with full on access to the Internet! This is great! At home, we got a 2400 baud modem so you can imagine how stoked I am. domokun
Since I'm actually getting paid at this job, I decided to see if I could find some glasses on the internet. I know I may not need them, but they would make me look so cool like the other smart people around here. Anyways, so I logged onto Greg's List and out of the blue, two people contacted me with offers! Some Pandora person and another Demon something er other... anyways, i tried to accept both of them but the first request got fried somehow... anyhow, the second one went through and I ended up getting two pairs of glasses(that's right! TWICE the intelligence) for only 101 gold!
My dad's gonna be PO'd at me cause I spent half a year's income, but it's soooo gonna be worth it! cool
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 5:41 pm
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Monday, November 14th, 2005 5:26pm
Mrs Claus is kinda scary. eek
Earlier I saw ElfTech404 go into her corporate office. The door slammed shut. And then the SCREAMING began... I don't know exactly what happened, but when 404 came out of the office, he looked really sad. He also had a notepad in his hand which he immediately threw into the wastebasket. Poor guy. He was mumbling something about how "it's not gonna happen man," and um...something about "clam chowder." mmmmm....clam chowder...
On my way to processing, I noticed a cute girl in a cubicle. eek She looked really scared. Out of everyone's cubicles, hers was the only one that was steel plated(i think she had one of those sneeze guards around her desk as well, I wonder what that was for?). She was wearing these weird earmuffs and was rubbing her temples like she had a bad headache and rocked back and forth in her chair. I think she must've been trying to solve a problem. I remember back in the day when I was in advanced Rock Counting, I had to count 2 rocks... boy, I started getting a headache too. Boy was that stressful. Poor girl, I feel bad for her. crying I told her that her earmuffs were cool. She stared at me blankly though so I doubt she could hear me with those things taped to her head.
Well, at least she didn't get yelled at by Mrs Claus(maybe she had those on so Mrs Claus' yelling wouldn't hurt her). I supposed I'm really lucky I haven't met Mrs Claus yet either. sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 6:47 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 11:17 am
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 11:22 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 1:07 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 12:06 pm
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Thursday, November 17th, 2005 11:15am
"From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe, comes a legend, the Legend of the Amazing Elf, Master of Magic, a mighty magician, loved by good, feared by evil..."
Last night I was witness to the legend himself...
I was dropping off some forms for my boss 247 when I noticed that he was talking to 722... at first I didn't think anything of it, but then I noticed that 722 pulled out a deck of cards. Not just any deck of cards, they were Johnny K. Gambino's Gold Mountain Special Trick Edition Playing Cards!!! I WAS SOOOO EXCITED!!! eek
I then saw my boss 247 grab a card out of the deck and watched while 722, no, the AMAZING ELF, masterfully shuffled and played with the cards!!! My dad used to take me every weekend to Johnny K. Gambino's Gold Mountain to watch the weekend shows of the Amazing Elf, I could recognize his shuffling style anywhere! There was no mistake, I think he IS the Amazing Elf!! I wanted to get his autograph, but my boss 247 saw me and handed me another stack of shipping forms to handle. So I spent the rest of last night filling them out. crying
Anywho, so this morning I was trying to get the new crates in to Sublevel F, and it happened again. One of the crane cables snapped again, spilling out the new "super drencher 5000" that 247 told me would be arriving. Man, they really make these water guns look realistic nowadays. xd Well, good thing we got that new crane arm yesterday, these cables are starting to get unreliable... Oh, that new girl that just transferred in um, 138 i think... I don't know where she is... she was supposed to help me move the crates in this morning.
Ah well... my dad once told me that people who rely too much on others never get anything done themselves... so I guess I should finish up for now. sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 11:52 am
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Friday, November 18th, 2005 11:27am
Sorta tired today... sweatdrop
My boss 247 had me up all night filling out forms... not just shipping forms but these things called LFI0508. Something about insurance and release forms for something called Din...on.thra.....poy..eee.....see..... gah, I can hardly say it.... um.... here, I'll just copy and paste: "Dinanthropoides Nivalis" sweatdrop
But yeah, after finally filling out all of the forms, I was only my way to the sleeping commons, when I noticed that the cute girl wasn't at her desk. It was weird cause everytime I walk by she is usually there... next thing I know I step on a loose spool of thread and totally fall on my head. crying
But when I look up, I notice that that girl was asleep under her desk. Poor thing. I walk over to her desk and notice under the sneeze guard that her assignment list include some ut....uto...pian ....be....lt....s.. oh oh, plutopian belts! I remember 247 mention that he needed those for something. I should probably bring them to him, they look finished and all. sweatdrop
Anywho, so I totally get lost in the facility at this point... apparently, I too tired so my vision is kinda blurry. After I finally drop them off, I realize that it's totally time for the shipments to arrive. It's too bad that 247 hasn't installed the new crane arm yet... cause today another accident happened... but what a surprise it was!! When the crate broke open, a bunch of little cute fuzzy white thingamabobs came out. They were so cute!! heart
That was just what I needed to start the new day! Who cares about sleep! I LOVE WORKING IN A SECRET ARCTIC TEST FACILITY! heart heart
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:16 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 1:35 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 3:12 pm
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Wednesday, November 30th, 2005 3:00pm
I'm still in a daze... what time is it? What day? What year? My body is soooo sore... sleep... must get some soon... no wait. My dad always told me that the best folk are the ones who work until they cannot work anymore... I can still work... afterall...
Must find my boss 247 to get my next assignment... all the crates have finally been moved into Sublevel Z... Z? Wait a sec... there is no Sublevel Z... or is there? *BONK* Ow. My head... What is this?
Door.
Office of 247 the sign reads. I reach for the door knob and turn it. The door opens.
Empty.
I wonder where the boss is? His computer screen is flashing... like that one epileptic episode of Pokemin. My head is spinning.
Screaming.
247? Is that you? Must be a party... I hear a loud thump. Machinery whirring and spinning. Faster and faster until...
BOOM.
The whole facility started shaking. I'm back in the hall... gotta find the boss. Feel kinda nauseous... speaking of food.
Passing by the lunch room. "Wow! Big claw--"
More screaming.
That must be one killer breakfast pastry for him to yell like that. Reminds me of those Urban Essences commercials where that lady freaks out cause she loves her shampoo so much ... I never quite understood that one. sweatdrop
Bright flash of light.
Can't see a thing... too bright... I think I'm blind ... but I can hear still. "The sun god has returned. NO! It can't be! An eclipse!!!"
More screaming.
When my sight returns, I'm standing in front of 403's desk. A few strands of her hair are on the keyboard. Strange. Must find the boss... passing by the crew quarters ... or maybe I should take a nap ... that sounds good. cry
Bed.
I go lie down and try to shut my eyes. Nodding off...
BOOM.
OMG... what is it now? I go check out what the noise was. It's coming from 138's room. I try the knob and the door swings open into--
Nothing.
The floor was missing... all I could see was a big chasm where the floor used to be. Strange... I guess the noise isn't coming from here.
BOOM.
Or is it? I definitely heard it again...
BOOM.
Below me. How strange... I can't see anything.
Screaming.
Will everyone just shut up?! Gah! I can't take anymore of these high pitched noises... my head hurts.
Silence.
Thank you. I hear whispering... a very zen-like voice. "I am ready it says."
Screaming.
Definitely not ready for whatever that was. What's going on here? Why is everyone SCREAMING? Maybe I should head to security. Maybe they can get everyone to shut up... I knock on the door. gonk
Silence.
No answer. Try again. No good. Ok, this is getting annoying. What kind of security do we have around here? I peak in the window. Two shadows. Holding hands. Big shadow!
Screaming.
Darn it! Migraine! Will somebody help me out here?! Maybe 909 can help me. He's always drinking coffee... maybe that's what I need. I make my way to the cubicle area and open the door. I get to 909's cubicle and...
Empty.
All over the wall, in what appears to be a dark red paint, spells out two words:
"On Vacation"
Very messy handwriting. I know I shouldn't talk cause my handwriting looks like chicken scratch, but this handwriting was pretty bad. It almost looks like it was sprayed or splattered onto the walls using a swiping motion... like those handwritten prescriptions you get from your doctor when you need to pick up medicine. I could never read those and I don't understand how a pharmacist could either... oh well. I guess 909 is on vacation. Just my luck. I turn to the cubicle next to him hoping to find some coffee. 319. Her cube is also empty... I guess that means she's on vacation too. sweatdrop
Uncle.
Maybe 062 can help me. My daddy used to tell me that whenever I needed help with anything that I should go to uncle 062. He can fix ANYTHING. He's also one of those folk who is always working. My daddy told me that a person like uncle 062 is someone to be respected and admired. I wish I could be like him one day! I head over to his office and knock on the door.
Silence.
No answer. Where are you uncle 062? I'm desperate now... I bash the door in. UNCLE!!! I NEED YOUR HELP!! gonk
"I'm sorry."
At least that's what the messy red paint handwriting says. I guess uncle knew I was coming and left me a note. I understand. He's always so busy. I never even got to thank him for getting me this job...Well, I guess I should look for the boss again. Must stay strong like uncle.
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
I didn't see anyone. I found a trail of vegie rollup wrappers and decided to follow them. Perhaps food will keep my energy up. I don't feel nauseous anymore anyways... just dizzy. whee
KABOOM!
An explosion?! It came from the special projects section of the facility near the water mains! The entire floor flooded and I was washed away. On the crest of the wave there was a shredded gift box that had a small charred/blackened label that read "A present for EflTech404! Merry Christmas!" I wonder what an Efl-Tech is? The water eventually drained away as I was pushed into the next floor. Into the lower levels of the facility I think.
"-69! I...LO--"
At least that's what I heard. Man, that sounded really angsty whoever that was. sweatdrop
KABOOM.
An explosion. The whole facility was shaking. The alarms suddenly started going off. eek
"WARNING. CORE BREACH IMMINENT IN POWER RELAY SYSTEM. PLEASE EVACUATE THE FACILITY."
Oh no... that's sounds bad. I gotta get out of here... but there's no way I can get out of the facility. And even if I did, I don't even know where I am!
BOOM.
The facility was shaking. I got knocked over really hard. Just my luck! I found a single card from the Amazing Elf's card deck! HOW AWESOME! The Amazing Elf would know what to do! He can totally make us disappear or maybe even walk through the walls to get us out! But he's no where to be found. No one is here. I'm all alone. crying
BOOM.
The wall caved in. I'm trapped here. I'm so alone. crying
"WARNING. THIS FACILITY WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN T-MINUS 9...8...7"
A ball. Made of rubber bands. The cute girl... I wonder if she made it out of here...
A note.
It says, "101. Hold onto this. Your friend, 003." heart
It was at that moment that I realized that, despite everything coming to an end, I truly do LOVE WORKING IN A SECRET ARCTIC TEST FACI--
We regret to inform you that the journal of ElfTech101 has been sealed due to a security compromise. Please do not attempt to contact him through this address any further. Thank you for your cooperation.
-S CORP
"Making Chrismtas..."
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