Journal of ElfTech101

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Monday, November 14th, 2005
9:21am

This is all so... unreal. It's like waking up from a dream. You know how sometimes you have dreams of things that are so familiar to you. Like you've done it all before. Then you wake up and it's a new day. But you can't shake that feeling that you've done it before. I think they call it like Jeda Boo or some junk. I think I heard it from Star Wars or something. sweatdrop

Anyways, so yeah, my uncle ElfTech062 told me that Santa was recruiting some people to go work on some experimental toys this winter. He said something about Santa wanting to make all the good little boys and girls very happy this year and that it would take a lot of work and effort to get it ready on time for Christmas. Man, that Santa guy is a great man! heart

I heard that Santa was in a serious accident last week, but my uncle told me that people were exaggerating. Boy am I glad to hear that! Mr Claus always gives us the most wonderful gifts! I still have my pair of Jolly slippers from before! Something about those little cute cotton balls bouncing at the end of your feet... it's kinda hypnotizing! @_@

But man! I'm so excited about working for the big Claus himself! It's going to be a GREAT Christmas! 3nodding  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Monday, November 14th, 2005
9:36am

My uncle told me that I'd be working for S CORP. Apparently, it's one of Mr Claus' SECRET toy factories! He said it's hidden somewhere in the ARCTIC! Oh and that it's also the TEST FACILITY for all of Santa's new toys and inventions! Boy oh boy! This is so rawk... a SECRET ... ARCTIC ... TEST ... FACILITY! eek

HOW COOL IS THAT!? domokun  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Monday, November 14th, 2005
11:18am

So I hear the doorbell ring. And when I go to get the door, some guy came down from the ceiling Tom Clancy style behind me and throws a burlap sack over my head! eek Next thing you know, I feel a karate chop to the back of my neck and I'm totally passed out.

I wake up in some kind of vehicle and we're on a bumpy road. I can hear the wind howling outside rattling the protective covers on the windows. It's making me kinda scared... crying

After about an hour or so, we finally get there! This place is HUMONGOLOID!! eek

Man, these guys are secretive! There must've been like a bajillion different key cards swiped and keypads pushed before the large door(which looked like the door on one of those old airplane hangars) opened up. That was ... COOL. surprised

Sure my butt hurt a little from sitting on the hard metal floor in the transport, but man it was worth it! Inside I could see really large machines turning out little parts for toys everywhere! Probably the BEST THING EVER. xd

I'm then brought to another room where there are rows and rows of cubicles! Sweet. I've never worked in such an official looking place before. I noticed one of the elves, he looked like he was kind of upset... erm, maybe even annoyed. I don't know what his problem was though cause I'd be hecka stoked to work in this place! Then again, he looked like he was assembling something really, really complex-- you know, like putting a cap back on a pen or something. I could never get that right. neutral

Anywho, then some guy comes up to me and tells me that my new boss will be some guy named 247. Supposedly, he's at the top of the chain around here! This is soo COOL. Oh man, I'm totally gonna love working at this Secret Arctic Test Facility!! heart  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Monday, November 14th, 2005
1:52pm

Just got back from my very first lunch at S CORP. Oh man, you shoulda seen the GRUB they had there! Pizza! OMG, and not just any pizza!! They had full on NEO-PIZZA! How much more rawk can you get?! I musta stuffed my face with a whole pizza plus breadsticks... gosh I love working here!

I saw a lot of new faces today... so many serious looking people. They all looked really smart. I can tell. A few of them were wearing glasses. I could never afford glasses to look smart. crying

Oh... while I was checking out all the people there, I coulda sworn I saw the "Amazing Elf" !!!! Yeah!! The same one that does all the magic tricks at Johnny K. Gambino's GOLD MOUNTAIN! I must be mistaken though, cause I heard that the police were looking for him. No way Santa would let a criminal work here at the Secret Arctic Test Facility... but man, if it is him, I'd love to get his autograph! He's a god to me! 3nodding  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Monday, November 14th, 2005
3:08pm

So I finally got set up with my very own workstation with full on access to the Internet! This is great! At home, we got a 2400 baud modem so you can imagine how stoked I am. domokun

Since I'm actually getting paid at this job, I decided to see if I could find some glasses on the internet. I know I may not need them, but they would make me look so cool like the other smart people around here. Anyways, so I logged onto Greg's List and out of the blue, two people contacted me with offers! Some Pandora person and another Demon something er other... anyways, i tried to accept both of them but the first request got fried somehow... anyhow, the second one went through and I ended up getting two pairs of glasses(that's right! TWICE the intelligence) for only 101 gold!

My dad's gonna be PO'd at me cause I spent half a year's income, but it's soooo gonna be worth it! cool  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Monday, November 14th, 2005
5:26pm

Mrs Claus is kinda scary. eek

Earlier I saw ElfTech404 go into her corporate office. The door slammed shut. And then the SCREAMING began... I don't know exactly what happened, but when 404 came out of the office, he looked really sad. He also had a notepad in his hand which he immediately threw into the wastebasket. Poor guy. He was mumbling something about how "it's not gonna happen man," and um...something about "clam chowder." mmmmm....clam chowder...

On my way to processing, I noticed a cute girl in a cubicle. eek She looked really scared. Out of everyone's cubicles, hers was the only one that was steel plated(i think she had one of those sneeze guards around her desk as well, I wonder what that was for?). She was wearing these weird earmuffs and was rubbing her temples like she had a bad headache and rocked back and forth in her chair. I think she must've been trying to solve a problem. I remember back in the day when I was in advanced Rock Counting, I had to count 2 rocks... boy, I started getting a headache too. Boy was that stressful. Poor girl, I feel bad for her. crying I told her that her earmuffs were cool. She stared at me blankly though so I doubt she could hear me with those things taped to her head.

Well, at least she didn't get yelled at by Mrs Claus(maybe she had those on so Mrs Claus' yelling wouldn't hurt her). I supposed I'm really lucky I haven't met Mrs Claus yet either. sweatdrop  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Monday, November 14th, 2005
6:45pm

eek

So ElfTech404 came up to me and gave me a hug...

He had tears in his eyes and he was thanking me... something about his notebook. The problem is, I had no idea what he was thanking me for... sweatdrop

Come to think of it, I did see another ElfTech grab his notebook out of the trash... I remember cause she seemed to have a Tickle Me Lamo leg hanging out of her back pocket as well... ah well...  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
10:05am

So I came into the office this morning and I had a package on my desk. Gosh I love packages! Just then I realized that it was the glasses that I had purchased on Greg's list. But for some reason, the package was all beaten up... it looked like someone stepped on it really hard leaving a big fat imprint in the middle. I could make out the words "omb squa."

As I opened the package, I looked inside and noticed that the two pairs of glasses inside were completely smashed. I guess I'll never look smart... crying

It's ok. My dad used to tell me that everyone has their place in this world and that we are all destined to play our parts in it.

Oh, I finally met my boss 247 this morning and he gave me my first assignment! I felt kinda bad not really doing anything yesterday... but he was nowhere to be found so I couldn't really help it. sweatdrop

He told me that I had the most important job in the facility! He handed me a stack of papers the size of a log. He told me that it was very important that I fill out these forms before the end of the shipping day. I felt so special. 3nodding

Little ol' me, getting a responsiblity as big as this! Look at me now dad!! surprised  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
11:05am

I've always known that Santa Claus was a great man... but boy I never knew how GREAT he was until today. eek

You should've seen it! Santa towered over all of us elves!! A man like that deserves our respect and attention! He came out into the auditorium and gave this awesome speech that got everyone cheering! domokun

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!! SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!!!

gosh I LOVE WORKING AT A SECRET ARCTIC TEST FACILITY!!! heart heart  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
11:00am

So this morning was CRAZY! My boss 247 told me that a shipment would be coming and that it needed to be moved to Sublevel D where he could have direct access to it. While we were moving some of the crates off of the transport onto the loaders, the crane cable snapped and the crate fell on the floor, breaking open. sweatdrop

Inside was a huge mechanical arm! eek This IS SOOO COOL. I knew it! Santa is going to make a gigantic crane arm game! You know, a UFO catcher!! I'm so excited but I should keep this to myself. I don't want to ruin the surprise. I love surprises and I know how it feels to ruin one.

I LOVE WORKING IN A SECRET ARCTIC TEST FACILITY!! heart heart  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Thursday, November 17th, 2005
11:15am

"From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe, comes a legend, the Legend of the Amazing Elf, Master of Magic, a mighty magician, loved by good, feared by evil..."

Last night I was witness to the legend himself...

I was dropping off some forms for my boss 247 when I noticed that he was talking to 722... at first I didn't think anything of it, but then I noticed that 722 pulled out a deck of cards. Not just any deck of cards, they were Johnny K. Gambino's Gold Mountain Special Trick Edition Playing Cards!!! I WAS SOOOO EXCITED!!! eek

I then saw my boss 247 grab a card out of the deck and watched while 722, no, the AMAZING ELF, masterfully shuffled and played with the cards!!! My dad used to take me every weekend to Johnny K. Gambino's Gold Mountain to watch the weekend shows of the Amazing Elf, I could recognize his shuffling style anywhere! There was no mistake, I think he IS the Amazing Elf!! I wanted to get his autograph, but my boss 247 saw me and handed me another stack of shipping forms to handle. So I spent the rest of last night filling them out. crying

Anywho, so this morning I was trying to get the new crates in to Sublevel F, and it happened again. One of the crane cables snapped again, spilling out the new "super drencher 5000" that 247 told me would be arriving. Man, they really make these water guns look realistic nowadays. xd Well, good thing we got that new crane arm yesterday, these cables are starting to get unreliable... Oh, that new girl that just transferred in um, 138 i think... I don't know where she is... she was supposed to help me move the crates in this morning.

Ah well... my dad once told me that people who rely too much on others never get anything done themselves... so I guess I should finish up for now. sweatdrop  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Friday, November 18th, 2005
11:27am

Sorta tired today... sweatdrop

My boss 247 had me up all night filling out forms... not just shipping forms but these things called LFI0508. Something about insurance and release forms for something called Din...on.thra.....poy..eee.....see..... gah, I can hardly say it.... um.... here, I'll just copy and paste: "Dinanthropoides Nivalis" sweatdrop

But yeah, after finally filling out all of the forms, I was only my way to the sleeping commons, when I noticed that the cute girl wasn't at her desk. It was weird cause everytime I walk by she is usually there... next thing I know I step on a loose spool of thread and totally fall on my head. crying

But when I look up, I notice that that girl was asleep under her desk. Poor thing. I walk over to her desk and notice under the sneeze guard that her assignment list include some ut....uto...pian ....be....lt....s.. oh oh, plutopian belts! I remember 247 mention that he needed those for something. I should probably bring them to him, they look finished and all. sweatdrop

Anywho, so I totally get lost in the facility at this point... apparently, I too tired so my vision is kinda blurry. After I finally drop them off, I realize that it's totally time for the shipments to arrive. It's too bad that 247 hasn't installed the new crane arm yet... cause today another accident happened... but what a surprise it was!! When the crate broke open, a bunch of little cute fuzzy white thingamabobs came out. They were so cute!! heart

That was just what I needed to start the new day! Who cares about sleep! I LOVE WORKING IN A SECRET ARCTIC TEST FACILITY! heart heart  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
11:17am

Whoa... where am I? Last thing I knew, I was ... oh yeah. I remember carting some more crates of those fuzzy white thingamabobs into Sublevel F...

I've been up for 5 days straight now... I can't tell if i've been asleep or awake...day and night have started to blend into each other and I really can't tell anymore... but I think I had this crazy nightmare... l think I was almost done unloading the last crate when the room turned 70's disco! Red lights and strobes oh my... I felt like I was in a daze. Then I started hearing noises... like big thwomping foot steps. And screaming. crying

I think Jim and Bob were on duty that night in Sublevel F. I remember cause they always played big 2 while on their shift on their cardboard box table. Anyhow... I hoped the screaming wasn't them.

I suddenly felt really scared... the thwomping footsteps were getting closer... so I bolted for the door. But before I got there, a HUMONGOLOID white fuzzy thing with big claws and teeth roared in my face and then swung its big claw at me! eek

Next thing I know, I'm here... awake... or am I? Somebody help me. crying  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Saturday, November 26th, 2005
1:17pm

OMG... where am I? Everything is so hazy... my arms are sore. All the walls seem like they are closing in on me... eek

Have I really been up working for the past ... week?!

I think I've been hallucinating... I could've sworn I saw a few of the other ElfTechs with one of those fuzzy cute white thingamabobs on their heads! eek and ... while I was walking down the hall... I thought I saw the Amazing Elf cleaning the floors! I mean... a master like him reduced to mopping up after everyone on all fours... I must be dreaming or something.

Sometimes when I walk down the hall, I could swear that I am somehow filling out forms as I am walking... it was sooo trippy....

Then, at one point, I saw the weirdest thing... first, it felt like I was walking through water instead of air ... then my boss 247... well... he was swimming directly at me! But, he looked like some kind of fish ... a blowfish I think ... and then he whispered something to me "ayiraganap" ...

"ayiraganap" ... what the heck could that mean?  

[[NPC] ElfTech101]

Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
3:00pm

I'm still in a daze... what time is it? What day? What year? My body is soooo sore... sleep... must get some soon... no wait. My dad always told me that the best folk are the ones who work until they cannot work anymore... I can still work... afterall...

Must find my boss 247 to get my next assignment... all the crates have finally been moved into Sublevel Z... Z? Wait a sec... there is no Sublevel Z... or is there? *BONK* Ow. My head... What is this?

Door.

Office of 247 the sign reads. I reach for the door knob and turn it. The door opens.

Empty.

I wonder where the boss is? His computer screen is flashing... like that one epileptic episode of Pokemin. My head is spinning.

Screaming.

247? Is that you? Must be a party... I hear a loud thump. Machinery whirring and spinning. Faster and faster until...

BOOM.

The whole facility started shaking. I'm back in the hall... gotta find the boss. Feel kinda nauseous... speaking of food.

Passing by the lunch room. "Wow! Big claw--"

More screaming.

That must be one killer breakfast pastry for him to yell like that. Reminds me of those Urban Essences commercials where that lady freaks out cause she loves her shampoo so much ... I never quite understood that one. sweatdrop

Bright flash of light.

Can't see a thing... too bright... I think I'm blind ... but I can hear still. "The sun god has returned. NO! It can't be! An eclipse!!!"

More screaming.

When my sight returns, I'm standing in front of 403's desk. A few strands of her hair are on the keyboard. Strange. Must find the boss... passing by the crew quarters ... or maybe I should take a nap ... that sounds good. cry

Bed.

I go lie down and try to shut my eyes. Nodding off...

BOOM.

OMG... what is it now? I go check out what the noise was. It's coming from 138's room. I try the knob and the door swings open into--

Nothing.

The floor was missing... all I could see was a big chasm where the floor used to be. Strange... I guess the noise isn't coming from here.

BOOM.

Or is it? I definitely heard it again...

BOOM.

Below me. How strange... I can't see anything.

Screaming.

Will everyone just shut up?! Gah! I can't take anymore of these high pitched noises... my head hurts.

Silence.

Thank you. I hear whispering... a very zen-like voice. "I am ready it says."

Screaming.

Definitely not ready for whatever that was. What's going on here? Why is everyone SCREAMING? Maybe I should head to security. Maybe they can get everyone to shut up... I knock on the door. gonk

Silence.

No answer. Try again. No good. Ok, this is getting annoying. What kind of security do we have around here? I peak in the window. Two shadows. Holding hands. Big shadow!

Screaming.

Darn it! Migraine! Will somebody help me out here?! Maybe 909 can help me. He's always drinking coffee... maybe that's what I need. I make my way to the cubicle area and open the door. I get to 909's cubicle and...

Empty.

All over the wall, in what appears to be a dark red paint, spells out two words:

"On Vacation"

Very messy handwriting. I know I shouldn't talk cause my handwriting looks like chicken scratch, but this handwriting was pretty bad. It almost looks like it was sprayed or splattered onto the walls using a swiping motion... like those handwritten prescriptions you get from your doctor when you need to pick up medicine. I could never read those and I don't understand how a pharmacist could either... oh well. I guess 909 is on vacation. Just my luck. I turn to the cubicle next to him hoping to find some coffee. 319. Her cube is also empty... I guess that means she's on vacation too. sweatdrop

Uncle.

Maybe 062 can help me. My daddy used to tell me that whenever I needed help with anything that I should go to uncle 062. He can fix ANYTHING. He's also one of those folk who is always working. My daddy told me that a person like uncle 062 is someone to be respected and admired. I wish I could be like him one day! I head over to his office and knock on the door.

Silence.

No answer. Where are you uncle 062? I'm desperate now... I bash the door in. UNCLE!!! I NEED YOUR HELP!! gonk

"I'm sorry."

At least that's what the messy red paint handwriting says. I guess uncle knew I was coming and left me a note. I understand. He's always so busy. I never even got to thank him for getting me this job...Well, I guess I should look for the boss again. Must stay strong like uncle.

BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

I didn't see anyone. I found a trail of vegie rollup wrappers and decided to follow them. Perhaps food will keep my energy up. I don't feel nauseous anymore anyways... just dizzy. whee

KABOOM!

An explosion?! It came from the special projects section of the facility near the water mains! The entire floor flooded and I was washed away. On the crest of the wave there was a shredded gift box that had a small charred/blackened label that read "A present for EflTech404! Merry Christmas!" I wonder what an Efl-Tech is? The water eventually drained away as I was pushed into the next floor. Into the lower levels of the facility I think.

"-69! I...LO--"

At least that's what I heard. Man, that sounded really angsty whoever that was. sweatdrop

KABOOM.

An explosion. The whole facility was shaking. The alarms suddenly started going off. eek

"WARNING. CORE BREACH IMMINENT IN POWER RELAY SYSTEM. PLEASE EVACUATE THE FACILITY."

Oh no... that's sounds bad. I gotta get out of here... but there's no way I can get out of the facility. And even if I did, I don't even know where I am!

BOOM.

The facility was shaking. I got knocked over really hard. Just my luck! I found a single card from the Amazing Elf's card deck! HOW AWESOME! The Amazing Elf would know what to do! He can totally make us disappear or maybe even walk through the walls to get us out! But he's no where to be found. No one is here. I'm all alone. crying

BOOM.

The wall caved in. I'm trapped here. I'm so alone. crying

"WARNING. THIS FACILITY WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN T-MINUS 9...8...7"

A ball. Made of rubber bands. The cute girl... I wonder if she made it out of here...

A note.

It says, "101. Hold onto this. Your friend, 003." heart

It was at that moment that I realized that, despite everything coming to an end, I truly do LOVE WORKING IN A SECRET ARCTIC TEST FACI--

We regret to inform you that the journal of ElfTech101 has been sealed due to a security compromise. Please do not attempt to contact him through this address any further. Thank you for your cooperation.

-S CORP

"Making Chrismtas..."