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 Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:36 pm
? ..sry to be depressing
Edit: guess not..ty anyway
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:00 pm
o_o If you're still around, go ahead?
Guild is rather quiet tonight.
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:04 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:07 pm
I'm here Hoshi and Kevie..thanks for responding. It's stupid of me I guess to just expect people to be around when I'm feeling so needy...I just needed to vent I suppose. I'm too weak
so basically the reason I'm all bent out of shape is ...
I have a job interview or I don't even know what it is but some prospect of a glimmer of a thread of a chance of being considered as a candidate for a job (you see how much confidence I have in myself)...and I already have a lot of money problems and pressure because I'm the only one making ends meet in my apartment....and last year I had an interview and really screwed it up and I'm really upset that it is going to throw me over the edge if I mess up again which I almost definitely will and the worse part is no one seems to understand what a big deal this is to me which just makes me feel worse.
so like the reason I'm not sure if I should call it an interview is because on the phone they said I should come in for a writing sample (which also I'm probably going to screw up...I'm thinking I'll get in trouble if I bring a dictionary so that I can actually spell and I'll be really slow and not finish or be forced to rush it) but I was also told to bring 10 copies of my resume and cover letter so that probably means a committee is going to interview me as well...that means I have to bring a pen and try to keep track of all of their names and it's jsut so much weight on my shoulders...I wish I could get hired based on my job performance not on my ability to withstand a barrage of intimidating questions and make sure I give the perfect answer to every one of them. I'll continue in a new window...
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:31 pm
...I know it's a good thing I got called...I know it shows some bit of an accomplishment...and if I don;t get hired because someone is better then me for the job that will be fine ...aside form the I'm broke thing...I just don't think I'll be able to emotionally handle feelign I've made no progress in a year...that I still am incompetent at handling an interview
I've been fighting like crazy with my bf and it's prolly cuz of all this pressure and stress....I had a list of interview questions and I'm scared to try and find them because he just cleaned the place really well and he will freak out if I mess the place up. In my head the priority is the job, the place can be cleaned any time...but to him it's super important and I think having a huge fight with him will screw me up worse then anything.
I feel like if I don;t get hired this year it's just one less thing to put on my resume for the next year. Not to mention that it's killing me how much my mother is struggling and how deeply I feel I need to rescue her if I only had the means to....and it's not just so that she is financially comfortable it is so she won't have her health at risk and so she wont be forced to be stuck in a marriage that is doing major damage to her psychologically...I feel so useless
I have been through so damn much in my lie and I know it could always be worse but my tolerance is low as it is. I'm in so much debt from getting degrees and all I want is to work hard and get some stability...to have some control and less pain.
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:06 pm
o_o Ouch. That's kind of mean he cares more about the mess than you practicing your interview questions. Of course the first priority is the job. << 'Specially being the only one bringing in money. The apartment isn't going anywhere.
Offer to clean it? I really can't understand his way of thinking on that matter.
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:43 pm
Hoshi Lockhart o_o Ouch. That's kind of mean he cares more about the mess than you practicing your interview questions. Of course the first priority is the job. << 'Specially being the only one bringing in money. The apartment isn't going anywhere.
Offer to clean it? I really can't understand his way of thinking on that matter. yes I agree with your point of view..the thing is (aside from not wanting to have another major fight with him) we are opposites in every way. I love him and he makes me happy but we dont;lg et eachother enough. ...and th esame way he doens;t get me ..I can't get why th eplace beign crazy clean is so imp to him...all I knwo is it gets him so stressed when it is not an dhe worked so hard to make it nice..and I'd be happy ot clean it but it would probably not be until after th einterview I'd have time to and he wouldn;t be abel to stna dth emess int he meantime...blah I geuss I'll talk with hima nd maybe t will work out, he is very supportive usually I've just been pushing him too hard with me beign so stressed
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:13 pm
Wow that is no fun at all but I understand where you're coming from. I've never had a decent job. I try so hard for ones and I always fail. I can't even get a simple job in retail. The best I can do is food. So I always feel horrible and every time I fail it makes me just wanna try even less.
I know how frustrating it is to know you have the skills to do better but no matter what it never happens. You sit around in a crappy job or living in a crappy place wanting more for yourself, trying so hard just to get by and everything always is falling apart.
Its a lot of stress. Especially when I see someone like my sister who sucks at everything, won't even try hard at work and she get jobs easy and never gets fired even if she does nothing.
So I can understand how stressed out you are but something will work out eventually. Just gotta keep going and just realize that when you're at the bottom, up is the only way to go.
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Psychotic Habits Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:17 pm
Have a talk with your bf. Explain everything until he understands it all. Have him help you get as prepared for everything coming up. And make it clear that most of the quarrelling was spurred from outside-stresses.
Take a nice bath, and get a good night's sleep. Get as relaxed as possible, and know that nothing can stop you from getting what you want. The right amount of confidence in yourself and your abilities has the power to override any issues or errors during short tests and interviews. Be nice and composed, and think everything out clearly without taking too much time.
Everything will all work out. Just get everything cleared up and get yourself calm and collected. smile
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:23 pm
thanks guys...your wisdom and consolation is making me feel a bit better. I'll do my best to be strong. ::group hug:: I really appreciate you guys taking the time to me to help...let me know if I can ever help back sry I'm so busy so often
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Psychotic Habits Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:33 pm
patience1984 thanks guys...your wisdom and consolation is making me feel a bit better. I'll do my best to be strong. ::group hug:: I really appreciate you guys taking the time to me to help...let me know if I can ever help back sry I'm so busy so often
I want to wish you good luck on the interview and let me know how it goes!
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:35 pm
Ammit the Devourer patience1984 thanks guys...your wisdom and consolation is making me feel a bit better. I'll do my best to be strong. ::group hug:: I really appreciate you guys taking the time to me to help...let me know if I can ever help back sry I'm so busy so often
I want to wish you good luck on the interview and let me know how it goes!
thanks dear, miss you lots and I'll post how it goes.
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Psychotic Habits Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:39 pm
patience1984 Ammit the Devourer patience1984 thanks guys...your wisdom and consolation is making me feel a bit better. I'll do my best to be strong. ::group hug:: I really appreciate you guys taking the time to me to help...let me know if I can ever help back sry I'm so busy so often
I want to wish you good luck on the interview and let me know how it goes!
thanks dear, miss you lots and I'll post how it goes.
Awww. smile
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:47 pm
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun,
Good luck with your interview and everything else. I hope things turn out all right. biggrin
And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun.
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Symphonic Fairytale Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 8:36 pm
Symphonic Fairytale Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun,
Good luck with your interview and everything else. I hope things turn out all right. biggrin
And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun. thanks for the sweet wishes..it means a lot and gives me strength
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