|
|
|
|
|
|
|
iMindless Self Indulgence
|
 Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 4:30 pm
Okay, so i was bored...and i was listening to some music...and one thing led to another....just tell me what you think.
A black rose, a forgotten memory,
A black rose, a forgotten beauty,
A black rose, so many forgotten tears,
A black rose, a memory no one cares about,
But she always cares,
To him, she was just a girl,
To her, he was the one,
To him, she was never to important,
To her, he was everything,
He broke up with her for another girl,
She was crushed,
She was devestated, (AN: is that how you spell devestated?)
She was crying,
She was broken,
He never gave her a second thought,
She gave him every thought,
He never talked to her,
She always wanted to talk to him,
She became bitter,
She didn't want to live,
Her family did everything to help her,
Nothing worked,
She'd cry every night,
She'd wish to die,
She'd eventually get more terrible,
She'd eventually lash out at people,
Just inflict a bit of pain,
The pain she'd deal with every day,
More people noticed her bitter decline,
The guy eventually heard,
He felt guilty,
He felt terrible,
She was the past to him,
He was all the time to her,
He never came back.
Okay, you read it now. Tell me what you think.... mrgreen
i kno, a bit repetitive XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 4:33 pm
Sorry. I didn't really like it.
I dunno.
There's this trend where everybody writes poetry about the same things.
I suggest you start thinking about structured poetry, which is always better than free form. Also, you should brainstorm some creative subjects.
Here's something a teacher once taught me.
This is a good way to write a poem.
Step One: Pick a subject (Ex. Love)
Step Two: Think of the traits of that subject or how it makes you feel (Ex. Happy, Giddy, Dizzy)
Step Three: Abandon the subject and write a poem around the feelings
Sometimes that comes up with something good.
The point of the excersize is to express something without being obvious.
You see?
Anyways! Keep it up. :3
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 5:32 pm
I actually liked it but its not that great quality wise but it's pretty good. Keep on writting.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 2:53 pm
You know, good literature is always one you can relate too...and being a guy, I can, just flip the genders....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
