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 Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 7:07 pm
So my mom and I were talking about something while we were out shopping earlier, and it brought up an interesting point. She was telling me about how her boss's kids' friend taught her boss's kids the F word, and what it meant. Ms. B [[not her boss' real name, but I dunno how to spell it.]] was appalled. She didn't think it was right that her kids' friend was being taught these things by his mother. Mom also went on to say that Ms. B's kids were also starting to say 'condom' and 'gay', without proper understanding of what those words mean.
Now, Ms. B's kid is around 10 yrs. old [[I'm not sure how old the other son is]], and she disagrees with telling her kids about sex and points of similiar nature. My mom told her that they were going to learn about it sooner or later, best get it out in the open now. Ms. B's like, 'My kids go to private school, they won't learn anything', being somewhat ignorant of the fact that even private school kids learn bad things and pressure others with that knowledge.
I wish I could say I'm a sheltered child, but my mom started talking about sex when my brother and I were about 10 or so. She'd let us watch SOME movies, and we'd discuss the movie, and my brother and I could ask her, 'Well what's this, what's that?', and she'd tell us, within reason. Pretty much, she gradually introduced us to things of sexual nature so that we'd be well educated should a situation arise.
So, the topic of discussion is, when is the right time to introduce a child to sex?? Or do you think, 'Oh, they're just a child, they don't need to know yet'??
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 7:20 pm
To tell you the truth I was brought into it on a crash course by my peers. I believe that all learning of this topic will start ,no mater how sheltered you are, with a childs peers. I believe it best to go ahead and teach them or inform them of what they think they may know and fill in on areas that they dont all within reason
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 7:46 pm
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:02 pm
Well, I knew the mechanics of sex when I was 5... so yeah, my view is a little biased.
But I'm inclined to agree with Divine.
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:49 pm
Tell them once they begin to undergo puberty. The child's mind cannot comprehend the underlying sexual connotation of these things.
I would assure my child that it is something that they don't need to know about at the time, and that when the time is right, I would PROMISE to let them know.
A good example is my brother who drank Red Bull even though he was below the suggested age recommended. He was jittering as the caffeine dose was far too high for his body. It scared my mother to see him like that.
Attempting to hide it from them any later than when the information is relevant is an attempt to shield them from harm, while actually incurring it. Still, I see no reason why a 7 year old boy needs to know what a condom is for. I walked out into the street and I heard a boy say to a girl the following convo: (Warning, possibly offensive or against rules)
Boy:... You like me right?
Girl: Ew! No I don't!
Boy: Well you liked me when I was fingering your p***y last night!
Girl: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Boy: So?
He was about 6 or 7.
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:12 pm
Well, it will very with each child and how mature they are, but I really don't know. In gym class they started teaching us stuff about puberty and reproduction in 4th grade I believe O_O so we were 9 or 10.
but if they ask you should probably tell them, otherwise they'll just find out from someone else
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:39 pm
I think they second they start questioning it, see it on TV or are 10 (since that's a year or two before puberty starts for girls).
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Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 8:53 am
When the kid first asks you. I never got a formal conversation, but I learned enough from school. And my mom just did bits of "the talk" randomly. So I ended up learning it through bits and pieces, but it worked out just fine.
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Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:09 pm
in my school they started teaching you about it when you were 10, but i think it's gone down to nine now. i think telling them when they ask is the best idea. but not too much. and making sure to use the proper terms and not all the slang that can be seen as so offensive.
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Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:23 pm
In general, you should talk about sex when a child asks (if they haven't asked where babies come from by the age of 7 or 8, though, you may want to bring it up). You answer the kid's questions as they come, using mature language (saying p***s instead of "weewee") and only answering what they ask for. You don't need to go into further detail unless they ask about it.
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Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 10:53 pm
They need to know ASAP. In the U.S. children aren't really taught till middle school....when their minds are most susceptible to curiosity of their changing bodies. It needs to stop being such a taboo subject. It's human nature (Madonna lol) and isn't healthy to shun it away.
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Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 11:08 pm
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.....
If my mom (and all other variables) waited until my puberty I would be a very different person.
Considering it was a year ago *around now* that I started puberty.
I'm fifteen btw.
And if I have a son or daughter I'll teach them with a book *what my mom did with me* when they start wondering about sex n s**t.
Hell, I started wondering when i was six. makin my barbies have sex.
*i've been a lezbo even before i knew what sex was 8D*
I'd teach them all about gays/lezbos (within reason)
and tell them what can happen when you have sex.
of course when they are thirteen
And of course you know that your kids are gonna wonder early and not let you know.
Example:
I would practice kissing and other things with girls because I thought it was okay. I dont remember WHEN i learned what gay was. O:
So yeah
something to think about.
WHY DONT YOU PEOPLE EVER TELL ME THESE THINGS?!?!
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 9:13 am
If I have kids (sometime in the distant future) I would tell them when they start getting curious about it. I didn't even learn about it from my parents I was told all this stuff by my peers...
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 3:14 pm
When I was ten, my sister, second cousin, and I walked in on my cousin (cousin's mom) and her husband. That was where we learned everything. I wouldn't say there is a ready time to tell your kids stuff, but it's best to tell them before they get a bad idea from someone or somewhere else.
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Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:22 am
i think it's not just the 'f word' that matters because no offence but how many teen mothers has the world come across with lately? (no offence to teen mothers, it's not their fault.)
that's because parents stay ignorant and let their children do whatever they want because they 'are still kids'.
but that these same kids experient and do whatever they want because no one is watching them they turn out less than their parents expected of them.
it's always like 'my kid won't do that!' sure.
tell them young.
show them the horrors live has in store for them. exaggerate, even, because that will make them aware some things are more serious than they'd expect to be.
i think that as soon a child goes to middle school you can tell them some words might hurt someone's feelings, or that some things are not allowed. explaning is better than avoiding problems.
i know the whole 'birds and bees' talk was around the age of 10. that's before most girls start puberty, so it prepares them for like pms and stuff.
/end
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