Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well I think it needs to be a very careful balance. If you give them too much freedom then they can get themselves into all sorts of trouble. If you don't give them enough then they will rebel and do all the things they would have in the first option. So you have to set up a system of trust and reward. You give them a freedom with a surrounding set of conditions. If they can maintain the conditions then they maintain the freedom. Of course you don't let them go too far too fast.

The key to it all is education. If they know what they might be getting into and know why it is a bad idea then they will make the right choice by themselves. You have seen some of the kids coming here who don't understand even the basics of sex or protecting themselves or anything. You don't want them the be in that situation.

I agreee. In my case, my parents never gave me "the sex talk", and because I was interested in sex (I read romance novels and wrote smut as a kid), I taught myself about 90% of what I know. Random statistic, but it gets my point across. What little I didn't already know, I learned in my grade 9 Family Studies class. I went out and did my own research before I started having sex, and was on the Pill for 2 months before I had sex for the first time. When I was having problems with remembering to take my pill, I switched birth control methods and went onto Depo, which I also researched. More information has since come out, and I have taken it into consideration as to whether or not to keep my Depo. I know the side affects and risks associated with taking it, as should anyone when they start taking a type of birth control.

Why worry about it now though, when you won't have to worry about things like that for years to come?

And btw, because I'm slow and confused, are you male or female? (sorry sweatdrop )

I'm really sorry, but I can't remember how old your daughter is. whee
It's my bad because I thought you were referring to your baby daughter. sweatdrop

You could try looking up some children's books on the topic, and reading them with her?

Completely understandable, I see your point. And ok, thanks for telling me her age. smile
*thinks* My parents were really overprotective and overbearing when I first started dating. I really don't like how I was treated, especially since when my younger brother hit that same age, he was allowed to do so much more than I was. I would definitely set appropriate curfews, and at least see your child's boyfriend before they actually go out. Like ask her to invite him over to dinner, or come to a family function, etc etc.
As far as cell-phones, I wouldn't give one to my child any earlier than 15 or 16. I see cell-phones as being a "lifeline" of sorts - a way for a parent to know where their child is, and their child can use it to call for rides, or help in emergencies, etc. If I did give a cellphone to a child younger than 15 or 16, I would limit what would be put on it. Maybe caller ID and voicemail, but no text messaging and limit the number of minutes, etc etc.
When it comes to movies, I don't think there's much you can do. I mean you can control what she watches at home or with your family, but if she goes out with friends or goes to a friend's house, they might watch things you don't approve of. If it's a movie with an age restriction, she might not be able to get in anyways due to her age unless she's with an adult. At the very least, I would invite her to talk to you if she sees something confusing/upsetting/disturbing in a movie and needs to talk to someone about it, and I would also start explaining sex to her at maybe 12 or 13 - but that's just me.

In that case you a Sarah should probably start discussing what age you want to teach them the different things and lay out a plan that you are both comfortable with so it doesn't cause you any conflicts in the future.

I can plan all I want. However, if it's not "me," I won't be able to stick to it. And how I will act is something I just can't know until I am in that situation. When babysitting, I am extremely over-protective. But how much of that is me and how much of that is the fact that they aren't my kids and I get into a LOT of trouble if they have an accident...