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 Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 2:05 pm
in the crowded room filled with reporters, Janelle Damone stands at the podium to kick off the first press conference for SEWF.
Janelle: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to welcome you to our very first press conference here in SEWF, which is being conducted to commemorate our bursting onto the mainstream scene with a nice television deal that's finally completely set in stone. Tonight, I bring you the superstars that are making SEWF the place to be in sports entertainment now. And first up, I introduce to you the man that will meet the Talented One Cartwright this Sunday on PPV for the first time, Randy Orton.
Janelle steps away from the podium as Orton takes over
Randy Orton: First off, allow me to make it very clear that I think it's a waste of time for me to have to step into the ring with Cartwright. I think it was a waste of airtime to make such a big showing for his debut. Cartwright is nothing more than a flash in the pan, a joke as a champion anywhere he's ever been. I, on the other hand, began a one man dynasty in WWE after I took out John Cena. I was the youngest world heavyweight champion in history. Ladies and gentlemen, I am simply greatness.
reporters all over start raising their hands for questions and Orton points to a female reporter in the front row.
reporter: If Cartwright is just a flash in the pan, then why are you making such a fuss over him? Wouldn't it have been more appropriate to just ignore him.
Orton: That's the difference between me and the other guys in the back. I want to keep this company from going under. I want to make sure I keep getting my paychecks. So I want to make sure our beautiful owner gets rid of the dead weight. The best way to do that will be to take him out in front of the entire world at A Cold Day In Hell.
again the reporters clamor to ask questions and Orton points at a male reporter at the end of the second row.
Reporter: But what about the rumors going around that you've sustained at least one concussion due to knockouts at the hands of both the Big Show and Jarel Damone?
Orton: I don't know how these baseless rumors get started. The simple fact is, in this business, everyone runs up against someone that hits harder than the rest. When you're not expecting it, you get knocked out. You get helped from the ring and when you wake up, you have a monster of a headache. You get checked out, you take some pills, and you move on. My health will not be an issue at A Cold Day in Hell, and even if it was, I don't have to be at a hundred percent to beat someone like Cartwright
Orton searches the crowd as the reporters all raise their hands, this time selecting another female reporter.
Reporter: So you'll admit that you've gone to a doctor. Is it not standard procedure in this or any other athletic business to report your findings to your boss? On air, Miss Damone seems as unsure of your health as the audience.
Orton: It's only necessary to report things of a serious nature. My doctors didn't find anything that I feel is worth reporting. As such, all you people need to know is that I will be at a Cold Day In Hell, and I will personally remove the Talented Hack from this business
Orton steps down and takes his seat again
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Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 2:41 pm
Janelle: Ok, next up is his tag team partner, Edge
Edge steps up to the podium with the International title belt on his shoulder and looks out at the crowd from under his sunglasses. Instead of saying anything, he merely allows the reporters to begin their questions.
Reporter: Edge, you won the SEWF International Championship in a four way match in which you pinned Triple H, not the champion Brandon Damone, to win the belt. In your first title defense, you were attacked by the man Brandon took the championship from, Demon. Then the match in which you were the special referee to determine which of these two men would face you this Sunday was brought to a stop without a winner.
Edge: Whoa, you can stop right there. First off, the way I won the championship is irrelevant. It was a fatal four way match. The first pinfall or submission won. Triple H was in the right place and right time for me to capitalize. And as far as Demon goes, he was bitter. I beat him right before he lost the belt to Brandon. Did you forget he attacked me at Disturbia. He ambushed me for doing what I do best, and that's winning. And as far as last week goes, what did you expect me to do. The Undertaker and Kane came out and attacked us all. Oh, but let me guess, you guys expected me to play hero and try to take on the Brothers of Destruction. I have a title match this Sunday. And since it's not against Kane or the Undertaker, I see no reason for me to get involved with them.
reporters raise their hands and Edge picks a male reporter at random.
Reporter: Speaking of which, you're heading into A Cold Day in Hell to face the former champion without a whole lot of momentum. At the last SEWF House Show, you lost to Demon, and this past week, you declared the contender's match a no contest.
Edge: Who says I don't have momentum? Yeah, so what, I lost to Demon one time. Big deal. Where's Demon now? See, I was smart enough to get the hell out of the ring. Demon on the other hand, became a blood sacrifice to the Ministry, and no one has seen him since. My momentum comes from the fact that I'm still standing. I'm still the champion going into a Cold Day in Hell, and I'll still be champion coming out of it. And then, when I get done, I'm coming for his big brother's championship too.
Edge steps down.
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:33 pm
to the surprise of just about everyone, it's Kane that takes the podium next.
Kane: First off, let me just make it clear that the only reason I bothered coming here today is because my brother demanded that I put in an appearance. He also made it clear that I should try to behave myself, which means that for the moment you don't have to worry about anyone getting set on fire. But just to make sure you understand me, make sure your questions are worth the time it takes for me to hear them, otherwise my brother will just have to understand that I couldn't overcome the desire to inflict pain.
the reporters look nervous and it takes a while before one brave soul raises his hand
reporter: Um, we're all aware that you and your brother have brought back the Ministry of Darkness. And most recently, you attacked Demon and took him away. What was the purpose in that?
Kane: I believe my brother answered that question when we did it. Demon, as he calls himself, was someone we thought was worthy of being in league with us. We thought he deserved to learn the true meaning of darkness. His name should be more than just a name, it should be a lifestyle, the meaning of his existence.
reporter: So you're saying that we'll definitely see him again?
Kane: You'll see him when he's ready. When you do see him again, you'll see him as the force of destruction he's meant to be.
another reporter cautiously raises his hand.
reporter: Recently, you were, um, screwed out of your tag team titles by John Cena and Shelton Benjamin. Do you have any idea why they attacked you?
Kane: Mind reading is not one of my abilities. I don't really even care what their motives are. John Cena and Shelton Benjamin merely made our jobs easier. They gave us our first targets. They'll be the first in a locker room full of cowards and weaklings to be made an example of. As my brother said, we have no room for the weak, only the strong.
reporter: If you don't mind me asking, what was the motivation behind the Phenom's brutal assault on John Cena backstage?
Kane: I thought I already explained that. You're testing my patience. I'm going to try to put this in simple terms for you. John Cena and Shelton Benjamin stuck their nose where it didn't belong. Like so many before them, they tried to make a name for themselves at me and my brother's expense. And in essence, they proved the Undertaker's point. They're weak and cowardly. This federation is running rampant with weaklings. It seems no one knows how to win a match on their own, with their own strength. Cena and Benjamin blindsided us, so the Undertaker blind sided Cena. We wanted Cena to know how it felt. And we wanted to punish him. We lost what was ours because of him. Now, he'll lose something. He doesn't have a title we can take, so we'll just take his health. This Sunday, John Cena and Shelton Benjamin will learn what hell truly is.
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:17 pm
Brandon Damone and Lita take to the podium next, while the reporters breathe a sigh of relief that Kane is done.
Brandon: Before you guys start in with your questions, I'd like to say a little something. There's been a lot of focus thus far over the kidnapping of Demon at the hands of the Ministry. There's a lot of talk about how the match was stopped. There's not enough talk about the fact that Edge now has to get in the ring with a man that he simply can't beat.
reporters start raising their hands and Brandon picks one at random.
Reporter: You say that Edge can't beat you but didn't he take your championship from you?
Brandon: Yes, he did. But ask yourself this. Who did Edge pin to take my championship?
Reporter: While it's true that he did pin Triple H, couldn't it be argued that in your rematch he nearly had you beat before Demon interfered?
Brandon: Edge may have had me down, and he may have been going for the spear, but can you say for sure that he was going to hit me? And even if he did, can you honestly say that I wasn't going to lock him right in the Triangle Choke and choke him out?
again the reporters raise their hands and again Brandon picks one at random.
reporter: What do you have to say to Edge's earlier statement that implied you were merely a stepping stone on his way to challenge your older brother for the world championship?
Brandon: I'd say Edge needs his head examined. I'm no stepping stool. Frankly, he needs to concentrate on keeping the belt he has, because there's no way I'm going to lose this Sunday.
Brandon calls on a different reporter
Reporter: On to a different line of questioning. You and Lita seem to be quite close. You accompany each other to the ring for each match. What is the nature of your relationship?
Lita: We're friends, plain and simple. We get along well, and I'm not being held back. I'm the SEWF Women's champion. Our association is all about us having fun while doing what we do best.
Brandon: Simply put guys, I let Lita be the queen of xtreme. I don't need her to boost my career, nor does she need me to boost hers. We don't interfere in each other's matches. We're just there for each other. We're electrifying the crowds, whether its on Implosion, on PPV, or at a house show.
reporter: Speaking of the women's championship, Lita you have a title defense against both Mickie James and Trish Stratus scheduled for the PPV.
Lita: Yes, and I'm going to do what I've been doing. I take on all comers, you know that. Janelle signed that match behind the scenes because Trish was begging for it. This week, I'm going to give her and Mickie a taste of things to come. I've got a tag team match against them, and just to make things interesting, my tag team partner will be the woman that pinned Trish Stratus last week, Christy Hemme.
Brandon: In the meantime, I want to give Edge a small taste of what he's in for, but somehow I got roped into a match with his life partner, Randy Orton.
this gets some laughter from the crowd, as well as a glare from Orton and Edge.
Brandon: Oops, sorry guys. I think that was supposed to be kept secret, but the world deserves to know that you two have an alternative lifestyle. The women you gave such lackluster performances to in the past have a right to the truth. You were too into each other to give them any satisfaction. I mean, I guess you had to do something back in 2007. You two were having the worst streak of luck in your careers, having both gotten your asses kicked repeatedly by John Cena and Triple H, as well as Kurt Angle, Batista, and Shawn Michaels. Pretty much everyone was elevating their careers at your expense. So, much to the dismay of those of us that share a lockerroom with you, you had to turn to each other for comfort. The really sad part is that you, Edge, had Lita. But I guess she just wasn't Orton, was she?
the reporters are unable to hold back the laughter, both at Brandon's statements and the look on Edge and Orton's faces.
Brandon: Whoa, chill guys. I'll stop sharing since you aren't ready for the big coming out party. But the point is, this week, I'm going to kick Randy Orton's a** and pin him in the center of the ring. But before you get excited Orton, I meant that in the purest form of wrestling terms. Putting you on your back is really more of Edge's job.
Orton stands up but Edge forces him to sit back down.
Brandon: And at A Cold Day in Hell, I'm not going to pin Edge. That would be too easy for him. I'm going to make him tap and take back what's mine.
Brandon and Lita step down from the podium
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:45 pm
next to walk up to the podium is none other than the Dragon, Jarel Damone. Before he can think about speaking, the reporters' hands shoot up and he has to take the first question.
reporter: This Sunday, you put your perfect hell in a cell streak on the line against the largest athlete in the world, the Big Show. What made you host this tournament in the first place, and how do you plan to deal with the Big Show?
Jarel: I started this tournament because all the guys in the back are looking to make a name for themselves. Inevitably, they want to see if they can end the streak. And for some reason, guys I've already beaten in hell in a cell want to try again. So I decided to give one more person their one shot at fame. I'll admit, I was shocked that the Big Show won it, but I'm not intimidated. Yeah, Show's pretty damn big. He's strong. He's got a hell of a right hand. I felt that a couple of weeks ago. But here's what you people tend to forget. I specialize in the mixed martial arts. I can throw a pretty damn hard right myself. Randy Orton and John Cena have both found that out over the past few weeks.
reporter: But you can't really discount the size advantage of the Big Show.
Jarel: Believe me, I don't. But I've fought bigger and won. Remember, in AOWW, I defeated that walking freak of nature Vincent Sanctuary in Pandora's Box. In EEW, I busted that other freak of nature, Tank, wide open. Frankly, when it comes down to it, I've beaten the Big Show before. What the Big Show needs to understand is that I'm simply dominant. I'm 39-0 in hell in a cell. I beat the innovators of hell in a cell in that match, both Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker. I've beaten Mick Foley there, I've beaten the Game there. I beat everyone that came my way in that match. I'm more at home there than anyone. There's nothing that the Big Show can dish out that I can't take. I felt the force behind that right hand, and you know what, I'm none the worse for wear. Unlike Orton, there's no question that I'm in perfect health. No sign of a concussion.
reporter: But how do you beat a man that's so big, so dominating, and so hard to knock off his feet? The Big Show is no pushover, as you know, and in his one venture into hell in a cell, he was the only man that didn't bleed.
Jarel: That may be true, but look at my record. Look at the men I've taken to hell and left there in a pool of their own blood. I took my share of bumps. I've been hit with everything imaginable. Chairs, sledgehammers, barbed wire 2x4s, the steel stairs, a weedwhacker. I've been thrown against and off of the cell. But each time, I got back up. I fought through the pain. I gave better than I got. And I always walked out of the hell on my own. I've never been stretchered out. The referees didn't have to help me limp to the back. I walked out. I even climbed the cell afterwards and stood on top of my domain. I reign supreme in hell in a cell. The Big Show is big and tough, he's not going to be a pushover, but he will fall before the Dragon. For 39 hell in a cell matches they have come, and for 39 matches, they've fallen. This will be my 40th victim, that I can guarantee
reporter: I would like to ask about the name of this pay per view. The title makes it seem as if your sister thinks you'll lose.
Jarel: Think outside the box, please. I named this pay per view. You people all think of hell as this really hot place filled with flames. And it can be. But there's a cold side to hell too. When you're in that cell, unless I've elected to have an extreme hell in a cell match which includes fire around the outside, it's not warm. The chainlink is cold and piercing. When you bleed, your body doesn't stay warm. It gets cold. When I leave that ring at the end, whoever is laying there is normally freezing. It's a rush to get them to the hospital, to get blood back in them after closing them up. It's a cold experience. Hints the name. Now before I go over my time limit, let's wrap this up. Sunday night, Big Show, you step into my domain. At the end of the night, a large portion of you will be left in that place. Not just your blood, sweat and tears, but a piece of your soul. And the Dragon will soar right past you, leaving you to feel the cold this time instead of the burn.
Jarel walks away from the podium
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 1:17 pm
finally, the world champion steps up to the podium, dressed in his usual attire with a bandana wrapped around his head and sunglasses over his eyes. The championship belt is on his shoulder. Hands shoot up all over and Zarel takes a few seconds before picking a male reporter from the center of the room
reporter: Zarel, over the past few weeks, we haven't heard much from you in regards to what you think about your opponent this Sunday. We saw you defend the championship in a brutal match against the Big Show and you've clashed twice outside of a match with your number 1 contender
Zarel: You know, frankly I don't think much of Robert Orman. He's close to my size, he's pretty strong, but I'm not any more worried about facing him than I am about standing here in front of you all at this press conference.
reporter: In recent weeks, we've seen Robert's brother, Kenneth, play a large role in his matches. We've seen Kenneth cost both the Undertaker and Kane victories over Robert. Are you at all worried about Kenneth being at ringside?
Zarel: Why would I be worried? I beat Kenneth last week. Besides that, since I know Robert's MO, I'm prepared to deal with it.
reporter: It does seem that Robert is coming into A Cold Day in Hell with quite a bit of momentum. Even though the methods may be questionable, he did defeat 3 former world champions to get to you.
Zarel: So what? Each of those guys he beat, I've already beaten. A true champion doesn't get intimidated. i defeated the Big Show just a couple of weeks ago to keep this title around my waist. I defeated Kane to win this title. I beat both Rhamm and Shawn Michaels on more than one occasion. I'm the world champion for a reason. I get in the ring with the best this company has to offer every night, and I win. As for your claim about Robert's momentum, I proved a point at the last house show. I pinned him. When it comes down to it, at A Cold Day in Hell, I'm going to beat the living hell out of both the Ormans, because we all know Kenneth is going to get involved. I'm going to walk in as the world champion, and I'll walk out the same way. Robert Orman won't be getting his first world championship at my expense, that I will guarantee.
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