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 Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 11:08 pm
 The days seemed to...vanish. Like smoke they passed so quickly through Szin's fingers. Each day was a emotional trail as well. Waking alone in the dark filled him with fits of anxiety. He still followed through on his daily bathing routine, but afterwards he immediatly would seek out Lird.
Then the true assult began. Guilt and fear and terror all battled inside Szin's heart. Only the near presence and touch of Lird seemed to be enough to quell the dark storm. Light was no longer enough to chase away his anxiety. he needed the soft voice...the calming presence of the battle mage. The touch...that always left him wanting just a little bit more. And the kiss that he dared not ever lean in for.
Lird was...a remarkable male. He had the height of a surface elf, but a stronger frame. Much more like a common drow really. But...he was a weilder of magic, and of a element that Szin found in common with his own. He had to share what he could with Lird, and he was soon showing off his elemental moths and swirling them about the pair of them at random times. He wanted to spend as much time with the taller mage, and soon he fretted about truely annoying Lird.
But...he never seemed to take his shadowing in a poor manner. Szin waited for when he would tell him to brush off rather then to welcome him along. What worried him most though..were the 'trips' he suspected Lird would soon have to take. Would he allow him to come along? he hoped so!
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Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 9:31 pm
 Lird had not minded the fact that Szin seemed intent on becoming his shadow. He had, after all, told the smaller man that he could spend as much time around him as he pleased, and one some level that he spent a good deal of his time trying to ignore, he was pleased indeed that the other had chosen to take him up on that offer, as soon as he caught himself realising that however he would shut the thoughts away. He didn't mind when he followed gun around, he didn't mind when he sat with him. The moth's were interesting little creatures and always gad the effect of reminding him of Fel... the memory would always make him smile sadly... soon Mer would have to meet Szin, he was sure that would go down fine though, Mer would see the resemblance as he did, though he hoped the affection that kept Mer in less than good humour would prevent him from wanting more affection from Szin... Wait.. he cared about that did he..? He just liked the companny. He didn't wish to share it, that was all. The early morning today found him lounged in the library, flaked on his side on a pair of large cushions, his nose buried in a book that would help him with the task he must soon go on if he did not have the ingredients at hand. He would have to go to the city, or the outskirts at any rate. It was necessary for him to go to the G'eld house... He wrinkled his nose. He didn't wish to go. The house held no attraction to him what so ever. Still, that had to be, it had happened many times in the past, and he could hope as well that Mer would come with him as well, when he returned, Jar was enough to keep at the Matron's house... oh if only they could break away for good...
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:28 pm
The library was a place that Szin was more fond of. Well..that and the bathroom of course where he could soak for hours in hot water. During other times though, he rather liked the quietness of the library. It felt...comfortable and safe, with it's fireplace and Lird's presence combined. So when Szin found him lounging within, a faint smile curled at his lips.
Perhaps he could ask Lird to read to him. It would be nice to hear that soft voice talking. Szin had been unfortunatly entertaining such day dreams as the pair laying together and just...talking. Though he knew that what they did do was pretty close to reality, there was just something more warm that his mind was trying to pick up on then they currently seemed to have.
"Lird. What is that you are reading?" Szin asked as he crossed to where the large male was resting. The pillows looked...it was inviting. A part of him wanted to lay down, snuggle against Lird and one of those pillows and rest his head on the others shoulder.
His draw to the other male was not disturbing to Szin, as he reasoned it off as his need to be somewhere safe that drew him to Lird. Like a child and their blanket. Lird was his Blanket...so it made sense that he wanted to wrap himself up in his warmth.
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:13 pm
"Szin," the word sounded slightly surprised, yet not overly so. "This is an early start for you, I was not expecting you up within the hour..." His words trailed off os his fingers traced some lettering across the page. "I am sorry to say it is nothing of a great deal of interest, merely a book on summoning rituals.." He looked over at his effeminate friend.
"Matron Ariadne would have me find some potions for her, one of them I believe I can make myself which will save her funds and me time.. I was simply checking the levels and ingredients required..." He set the book aside for the moment however, the page was marked and he was pretty sure that he knew what he was doing now.. he had made the potion before, though it had been some years ago...
He shifted slightly so that he was sitting up slightly more, still leant back on his elbows however, and let his eyes fix on Szin. "Before that however I was reading a far more interesting book.. stories that some elder that once claimed residence in this house recorded from her travels.. she was a better read than potion lore..." he shook his head with a small smile. "Do you, however, simply plan to stand there Szin, the air is cool today and there is some draft, would you maybe prefer to settle by the fire with me..?" He gestured at the space that was on a large cushion right beside him and near the fire.
"I would not object to the companny in my reading, I need to study the directions a few more times I think.." He kept his arm held out. He certainly wouldn't mind Szin wanting to sit with him... not at all.. if Szin wished to that was...
He shouldn't want him to like this...
But he did...
He really did...
Really...
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:35 pm
"Ah...I woke from a dream earlier then usual." Szin explained the reason for his earlier then normal rising. Slowly he moved further into the room. He was not hesitant or anything, he had lost his hesitation mere days after he had arrived. Szin's eyes were pulled to the book that Lird was setting down, his head tilting in consideration. He had never made potions before...
"Might I watch you make it? I've never seen potions made before. All the ones I've ever found have been pre-made." He paused then, and a faint smile broke out upon his lips. Lird's invintation was all that he had been secretly hoping for. His steps were no longer slow as he quickly crossed the remaining distance so he could slip himself upon the pillow, and slip himself close to Lird with his arm still open.
Ah! Just being so close to him... It made his heart beat more quickly. "Will you share this story with me Lird? I would be very interested in hearing it."
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 9:00 pm
Without even a moment of hesitation Lird shifted himself so that he was more able to wind his arm around Szin to hold the other mage closer to him. It was a nice sensation, he'd decided, having the other with him like this.. there had even been moments where he'd nearly asked Szin just to stay with him of an evening, for the night... just so he could hold him in his arms a little longer.. but then realisation of what he was asking would hit in and he'd lose his nerve, or just totally shy away from the idea all together, either way, he'd not go through with the request.
Before answering he leant up to just brush his nose against Szin's cheek in a gentle nuzzle, there was something so nice about keeping him close... it was.. he didn't what it was really.. it just was.
"Of course I will tell you, if you wish.. though it is not a tale of any interest.." he chuckling, his words were joking, "Oh ho! You meant the previous book..? Of course of course.. that I would be delighted to read to you, though I fear it must wait until my potions are complete, I'll lose myself in that tale once more, and I know you well enough now to know that you'll be lost yourself long before I am.." He shifted slightly to pull Szin just that little bit closer to him.. he was mostly laying back after all... The smaller male could so easily use him as something of a pillow...
Why did he want him to be close so badly...? Company, he supposed...
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 10:28 pm
In a matter of moments Szin had slipped into the very comfortable position of being squooshed up on Lird and the pillow. He lifted a hand to brush his hair back from his face before laying his head on the stronger males shoulder. He could feel his heart thundering already in his chest, and a faint sense of mild euphoria was already effecting his head.
Why oh why did this have to happen so quickly? He knew that Lird was a source of safety and protection. But why did he have to feel such...happiness? It seemed strange and a little frightening...but...he did not fight it. He could not. All he found himself fighting was his own urge to tilt his head..wait..no..no he wasn't!!
When Lird nuzzled his nose against Szin's cheek, szin attempted to only rub into the nuzzle a little. Instead though he found himself tilting his head, and for the briefest of moments his breath touched upon Lirds lips before he caught himself and turned his head away.
"You are such a fool Lird." He spoke quickly as his cheeks began to warm. "Of course I meant the interesting book." Though Lird insisted he needed to see to the making of this potion he did not seem too inclined to rise and continue... "So then perhaps I can help with this potion you are making?"
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 8:25 pm
"It will not be a nice potion I am making, the mixture will be exceedingly hot, rather unpleasant to smell as well, it is not harmful per'se, it is only a simple sleeping draught, but it contains some highly unpleasant roots and substances, and silt from the Glimmersea itself." he let his words trail off as he wrinkled his nose, he was definitely less than happy that he'd have to d this, but it was definitely better than trailing all around the west dark to try and find the exact blend that Ariadne wished for... usually he would have done it anyway, but he didn't wish to be away from home for so long this time... Goddess only knows why of course...
His eyes strayed down to Szin. "Of course you're allowed to be there while I make them, there are two others and I suppose they are interesting enough to watch, but still.." he was rather too content with being able to wind his arm around Szin. He pulled the slender framed male a little closer to him without really thinking about it, he'd gotten so used to keeping the other male close to him, he'd gotten used to holding him in his arms... he was definitely starting to like it as well. Once again that thought unnerved him.. though it didn't unnerve him quite enough to make him let go.
"Would you like to go with me when I deliver them..?" Why had he asked that... "It'll be in a week or so.. I'll need to go to the G'eld house.." Why was he still asking it..? "I'll be there for a week or so after that I'd imagine..." Oh well.. it was too late now.. "It'll be about three weeks as a round trip.. I... wasn't sure you'd want to be alone..." once again he looked down at Szin...
Why did he have to be so.... pretty...?
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 9:49 pm
That arm that wrapped around him. that arm that drew him in close. Szin loved that arm. Though he did not think the words, but rather he felt them. Szin slipped thehand that was under him up, so he could lightly touch upon Lird's wrist, so he could tighten that arm's hold. There was such comfort to be found here. Szin allowed his eyes to half close as he rested his half bare chest against Lirds own scarred chest. Not once had Lird ever shown a sign of his scar hurting him, and to Szin's touch it seemed and felt healed over. Though it was a frightening marking, he personally did not fear it's touch, for it was a part of Lird and...and Goddess help him...
Szin's head bobbed a little, which caused his hair to brush against Lird's shoulder. "Yes...oh yes please Lird. Don't leave me alone. I don't think I'd be able to handle such a long period of time by myself. I feel so safe with you that I just...please. Don't leave me alone. I'll be on my best behavior where ever we go. I won't speak to anyone and I'll quietly follow you so I do not shame you or put you in danger." Szin tilted his eyes up towards Lirds face. He wanted to kiss him so badly. Where had these intense feelings come from? This could not just be from finding a sense of safty with Lird. These emotions were far too strong. Too intense. He found himself craving Lirds touch and...just...his presence. This was far more then just feeling safe..."
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 2:14 am
It really did feel to Lird at that point, that he might well just lean down and kiss Szin... the thought registered in his mind, which was what actually stopped him from doing it... he realised what he was thinking about, what he was planning to do... and he managed to bring his actions to a pause. The almost desperate edge to the smaller males tone just made him want to comfort him, hold him, touch him.. and yes, kiss him.. just so he could tell him it'd all be fine, it'd be all right, that he'd look after him..
But of course he couldn't kiss him..
You didn't just kiss another male.. it wasn't... exactly normal was it? Of course Mer had.. but that didn't mean it was right for him to. He'd never had that urge, well... not till now.
He couldn't deny that he really wanted to kiss Szin.
"Then come with me you shall." He stated, contenting himself with just leaning down to snuggle his nose against the smaller Drow's forehead. It had the effect of allowing him to 'accidentally' brush his lips over the smooth warm skin as well, without, he hoped, triggering any suspicion. The act surely must have seemed innocent enough. "I wouldn't want to leave you behind if I thought it would cause you any discomfort of course, and to have you pleased to stay by me, well, it makes it easier.. I wouldn't wish to force you either way... but, don't fear that you'll shame me, I am sure there is nothing you could do that would do so.. I merely worry a little for your safety..."again he gently nuzzled at Szin's forehead...
"Try not to.. speak to too many people.. some of your words are tinged with a light which may frighten them, Mer will be a safe conversationalist for you..." though he planned to speak with his brother first regarding... well... he didn't want Mer thinking he could just take Szin.. not that Szin was his... but.. still....
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 12:07 pm
Szin felt Lird nuzzling against him, and he responded by leaning into the soft touch of his nose. If only he dared...if only he dared to tilt his head up and brush their lips together. Szin felt as if his chest would burst for the desire. He wanted so much to be so close to Lird, the fact the other was a male did not unsettle or put him off in the least. After what he had suffered, Szin was certain he would never be able to be so close to a female. Now that he found such compassion and safety with another, it did not bother Szin in the least that he was a man.
What concerned him was how Lird would react if he knew Szin's interest in him had developed to something else. All the signs he had picked up from Lird led him to believe that the other male was only interestedin him in a friendly manner. He wanted to protect him, and Szin feared that his mannerisims may have led Lird to view him more like a child then a young man. Reguardless, Szin did his best to keep himself from making a err that would lead to Lird rejecting him.
Szin was grateful when Lird said that he could accompany him. His encouraging words were so gentle and soft. "If I'm with you I know I will be safe." Szin murmured against the firm flesh he leaned against.
"I don't completely understand though what you mean. How are my words 'tinged'?" Szin followed a moment later. That was a curious way to stay things wasn't it? How did he give himself away? Szin shifted himself so he half laid atop Lird, his head leaned back so those green eyes of his could look up at the mage. "Do I really betray myself so easily Lird? Are you certain your brother won't...won't hand me over? You said he was trying to be diligent to your Goddess, to make up for the past....I'm sort of frightened to meet him."
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 6:25 pm
"You misunderstood me.." Lird stated, letting his hands come to rest on Szin's arms after the smaller male settled himself more comfortably. "Mer is not trying to make up for the past as much as he is trying to blend into his present... there is no danger than he would hand you over, or hand you in.. he was crushed with the way he lost Fel, and he would not wish that fate on any other, he would not send you to your peril.. you will like him, he will like you. You will be good friends I am sure.." he paused for a moment.. "I'm going to have to worry, I think, that you're going to like him more than you do me..." He let one of his hands lift and brush against the soft, lilac strands of hair, before letting his fingers just brush ever so gently over his cheek as they trailed on down.
He really didn't want Szin to take to Mer more than he did him...
It worried him more than he could express.
"Besides... you don't think I would let someone take you away now do you..? Not after I struggled so hard to make you trust me in the first place.." The larger drow chuckled quietly and without thinking leant forward, just snuggling his nose against Szin's, bumping them together gently... he'd had to make himself pause though... it had nearly not been a nose bump that had happened there...
He'd very nearly kissed him...
Very, very nearly kissed him.
"You uh... really don't need to be worried..." He pushed himself to lean back again, settling on the pillow once more.
Was he actually...? No. But he could be...? No.. or... maybe.. was he actually falling for Szin..?
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Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 7:59 pm
Szin tilted his head so he could look at Lird while he assured him that his brother was safe. Szin...sort of understood what he was saying. About blending in. After all, Szin had to try and blend in himself in this terrible under world. So... he supposed he could take comfort in Lird's assurances. Or perhaps it was just his touch. Feeling those strong fingers brushing over the scalp of his head, slipping through the short lavender strands of hair then touching his cheek. A small smile teased at his lips, and he honestly spoke.
"I doubt that Lird. I'm terribly fond of you. Perhaps if Mer had been the one to find me so scared in that tunnel then I'd be as fond of him as I am you...but I can't discount the fact that your very accomodating" To accent his point, Szin purposefully shifted his body so he was half laying upon Lird. His body draped across the others with a hand pressed to his chest. He still smiled even as Lird leaned in and bumped his nose against him. Szin tilted his head upwards..and his breath caught in his throat. His green eyes were fixed on Lird's face, and his lips parted just a small fraction.
He almost kissed him. The drawing had been so intense at that very moment. He almost pushed his head up, almost pressed his lips to Lirds own. When lird leaned back, Szin released a shuddering breath and laid his cheek upon Lir'd chest.
"I am...not worried. Not anymore." But his heart was raceing and he could not slow it... "Maybe..I should go and pack my things...will you be needing to leave soon?"
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Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 3:00 am
Well that was a sensation he'd not been expecting... Szin moving to flop almost on top of him... well... it wasn't so much a physical feeling... which actually surprised him, but it was something more... emotional..? No.. that wasn't quite it either... he couldn't place it at all, but whatever it was... it was a very very good feeling, and he really didn't want Szin to move, or to have to move away from him right at the moment.
It was clear at that moment that they had come very.... very close to... well... kissing... he knew he'd nearly kissed Szin, but that last little movement from the lovely male he was holding gave away that... well.. as far as Lird could see Szin had very nearly returned the very nearly given gesture... that was confusing in itself...
Did he actually want to kiss his..?
Really..?
Regardless... now... wasn't the time to be doing that... he shouldn't just go and kiss him, not when he didn't know what he wanted. Instead he just lifted a hand once again and let it rest on the others head, his fingers just brushing over the soft strands of hair as he willed his own heart-rate to stay down.. not to race, not to give away the slightly... unsettled feeling he was struggling with just now.
Why was this happening to him...?
Why would he find another of his own gender so sinfully attractive...?
He wasn't sure... but he did... as much as that distressed him... well... he was starting to make himself accept it... get used to it, deal with it... maybe e could even...
He looked down at Szin...
Maybe he could even learn to like it...?
"You don't need to get ready yet.." Lird stated with a smile, "Well, not unless it's going to take a couple of days to get things together.." he smiled slightly to himself. "I've still got to make those potions after all.."
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Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 3:48 pm
Oh Goddess. Oh Goddess.... Szin's green eyes stared across Lird's chest. He could feel Lirds own racing heartbeat under his fingers. Lird had said nothing about it. Surely he had noticed? He had been so close to him....
What if Lird was unsettled by it? Szin could feel the thumping of Lirds heart clearly, and he felt a unsettling sense of fear and anxiety. Lird had been a very kind and compassionate friend. Was he going to ruin it somehow? This had been the most comforting place he had found in such a long time. He could not dare ruin it. Szin closed his eyes tightly. He did not wish to make Lird uncomfortable. Or worse...he didn't want to do something that might stop Lird from helping another in need in the future.
"Ah, of course. Silly me." Szin replied with a forced light laugh. He had to get beyond this. He had to just...bottle it up and hide it away. It would do so much damage if he allowed himself to offend the first nice person he'd met in a long time. The potions..hmm..maybe if they got out of this place...maybe if there were others around and more to think about then the strong arms that were about him then this would not be a problem?
"Well how about we tend to those now? SInce you said your brother is safe i really would like to meet him now." Though...even after the words he spoke, Szin felt relculant to pull himself away from where he laid.
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