Welcome to Gaia! ::

I believe there should be a thread on here dedicated entirely to funny things. You can post jokes, quotes, anything. I understand it is sometimes difficult because many funny things are meant to offend. Simply attempt not to be offensive =D
Personally, I enjoy making up funny quotes. Here are a few of mine:

"That sounds like more fun than having an albino dolphin stapled to your face!"

"I wish I was a carrot so I could go, 'Lookit me! Lookit me! Ima carrot!'"

"Upon further inspection, there appears to be a wombat in my cereal."

"I feel sorry for people who feel sorry for people."

Now for some jokes! Forgive me if you've heard any of them before; I will try to post jokes that are less common.

A woman is traveling when she comes across a lamp. A genie comes out and she says, "Oh, are you going to grant me three wishes?" The genie replies, "Nope, I'm a one-wish genie. So, what's it going to be?" The woman pulls out a rather large map and explains, "These countries have been at war for hundreds of years. I wish you would give them world peace." The genie hesitates and responds, "You know, that's pretty much impossible. Is there anything else?" The woman ponders for a moment and requests, "I wish for a guy who is smart... funny... kind... sensitive... plays and instrument... not afraid to cry in front of me... and loves kids." And so, the genie says with a sigh, "Alright, let me take a look at that map again."

A man is walking through the forest when he comes upon a large pit. He looks inside of it and fails to see the bottom. He gazes around his feet and finds a small rock. He drops the rock into the pit to find out how deep it is. He waits a few moments and hears nothing. He then searches for a larger rock to drop into the pit. Again, he hears no sound. He searches and searches until he finds a railroad tie. He heafts it up and drops it into the pit. After waiting a few moments, a donkie runs through the forest and leaps into the pit. The man stands astonished until an older man traverses through and asks, "Have you seen my donkey come through here?" The man replies, "Sir, I am so sorry! I saw your donkey. I was throwing rocks down this pit to find out how deep it is when a donkey ran through the forest and jumped into the pit for no reason!" The older man shakes his head and replies, "That couldn't have been my donkey. My donkey was tied to a railroad tie."

Thanks much!

And your appology is so not accepted! =o
Joking! =D

I looked them up on Google image search once. I do believe they are a creepy looking brown-colored mamal.

Wombats are Australian marsupials. Much like a badger.
The more you know~
;D