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 Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 1:37 pm
Things were... different.
Not that Misae was complaining, really. Hadithi had passed away. Or... well, she wasn't really sure if he had passed away or not, but he had vanished one day and had not returned to her; Misae assumed her mate had died. He had returned to the muses. And that was fine. They all returned to the muses at some point, but Misae was lonely and she missed him. Her children were all grown up now, and her grandchildren had assumed the leading positions of the now larger pride.
She was no longer as young as she used to be, but she was still in the prime of life. However, she felt... lonely. She needed company, and she had no where to look for it. Her children now had their own mates, and some had left to join neighboring prides in turn, like Binti. Sometimes, despite how selfish it felt, she wished that she could go back in time and relive her days with Hadithi.
She was heartbroken and it showed in the way she lay with her head over her front paws, her eyes staring over the ocean waves nostalgically.
Tsi'hilu on the other hand, was experiencing quite the opposite mood! In fact, the small lioness was ecstatic to have reached the familiar grounds near the jungles that lead to the Kizingo'zaa beach. They (Nyota and she) had left their clan a bit further back in an attempt to be polite; it was only right to ask for permission to enter other peoples' lands before bringing their family forth, now wasn't it?
Even if she knew they had permission, it was still only right to ask for it regardless. You could never be TOO polite.
The first thing she'd noticed upon coming out of the jungles was that the pride she had once seen so long ago... was quite larger now. She'd seen a number of odd looking lions here and there and they mostly either ignored the pair of smiled at them contently, "This place has grown," she told her mate as she stepped out into the beach, her green eyes scanning the sandy dunes till they fell on a white form a small distance away.
This wasn't right. Misae looked.... she looked strange, "Oh my..."
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 1:59 pm
With each step closer to the beaches of the Kizingo'zaa, Nyota had felt his spirits lifting. He had been eager to know what was happening in the life of his eldest cub, for his cub she was, despite the fact that she was grown and (last he checked) the reigning queen of her own land. It was unfortunate that their lives had separated them, but he was teeming with excitement. Well, at least inwardly. Outwardly, he was calm and collected as always.
As he strode along at the side of his mate, his gaze flickered over lion after lion. His curiosity made him wonder if any of these were related to his beloved daughter - more than one seemed to have the markings of Hadithi on them, after all. Still, even as they all passed him by, not one of them was his daughter herself. His brow creased as he paused next to Tsi, trying to locate Misae. His gaze fell upon her at the same time his mate spoke, and his face broke into a haze of confusion. "What's happened?"
He brushed his head against Tsi's cheek gently before he began to pad forward, no hesitation, and only that one motion to tell her to follow him. He didn't want to yell out at Misae, alert her, but he felt an overwhelming serge to comfort her even now. "Misae," he breathed out once he was within talking distance of her, deep green eyes staring down at his daughter, waiting for her to address him.
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 3:27 pm
Tsi'hilu did not speak further, but rather, stepped aside to let her mate take the lead. Usually, she was the one leading them (for no other reason than the fact her pride seemed to favour females in the guiding position of the clan), however, it was clear she was passing the batton onto him. They were, after all, a team and while it was true she held the 'official' title, she had always looked at him like an equal.
She waited till he'd taken the lead to fall into step behind him, peering over him when he reached the other white lioness; she looked physically fine to her. In fact, the Queen looked like she'd been well groomed, well treated and well fed. The lands looked prosperous and had grown in number quite a bit. So thus, what could be wrong?
Misae had been deep in thought and had thus, not really noticed their approach. At least not till Nyota spoke. For a moment, it was obvious she looked confused, as if not sure if she was hearing things, or if the wind was taunting her with voices of the past, but then her head turned and her eyes held her fathers', "Daddy..." he was, after all, still her 'daddy'. It really didn't matter how much time passed, or how old she were to grow.
She would always be grateful to him; it didn't matter to her that they were no connected by blood. She lifted herself up and moved towards him, rubbing her head under his chin, "I wasn't expecting you," the claim was likely odd, seeing as how she had always 'known' these things in the past. Something had been distracting her.
It was then that Tsi'hilu chose to talk. Keeping a calm, comforting smile upon her features, she drew nearer, "We wanted to surprise you. I guess we managed then," she lifted her head to look around, "Where's Hadithi?" The words had a deep impact on Misae, whom lifted her head from where she'd nuzzled it under Nyota. Pain flashed her features and it was obvious she was trying not to cry.
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:13 pm
He normally was pleased to let Tsi lead, and if they had had the clan with them, then he probably wouldn't have been so adamant about being the first to approach his daughter. Still, in a situation like this, it was his daughter that came first as opposed to social norms.
A frown flickered over his face as Misae admitted that she hadn't been expecting him, though he tried, for her sake, to smile as Tsi mentioned trying (and succeeding at) surprising her. "Well, the best surprises are unexpected, aren't they?" He murmured into the fluff atop her head, nuzzling back against her as she brushed it beneath his chin. He had just been about to ask how she was, in a round about manner of trying to figure out what was wrong, when Tsi mentioned Hadithi and he saw that brief flash of pain.
All at once, a dozen emotions hit his face no matter how hard he tried to maintain control, each one walking hand in hand with a different conclusion. Anger went with the idea that maybe he had hurt her, sadness went with the idea that he had died, and finally confusion as he realized he had no idea. "Misae, love," he said softly, trying to coax her gently, avoid the tears he knew would be like a stab to his gut, "what happened?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 5:47 pm
She didn't know what had happened.
That was probably was tugged at her heart the most; for all her knowledge of things, for all the times the wind had talked to her... it had not so much as whispered a word of Hadithi to her, "I don't know," she whispered up at her father, the words fragile, the tears that threatened to fall bordering them, "I... I don't know," her gaze turned off towards the jungle and she blinked several times, rapidly, in an attempt to keep the tears at bay, "He left one day and he's... not come back yet. He left way before our last batch of cubs reached their teen years, and they're all adults now. Some had left. I don't know where he is. I think he's... he's..."
She didn't finish her sentence, but rather, left it hanging there, not wanting to say it, "I don't know. I can't see. I can't SEE," she told her father, then turned away, looking vaguely pathetic, almost miserable.
Tsi'hilu's expression clouded, but she did nothing more than stand there; she could not even begin to understand the pain the other female was going through. She was sorry; that much was obvious, and she did not wish to intrude.
However, she had come to care for Misae during their short stay together and she found herself drawing nearer, her neck wrapping over Misae's own, "Shhh... shhhhh... love, shhh," sometimes, maybe.... not knowing was for the better. She just had no idea how to say that, and her eyes shoot to her mate's, hoping he would know."
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 10:14 pm
He listened to her, keeping his form close to hers as she began to speak. It went from a slow whisper to a more urgent, pathetic speech, and the tone of the last had his heart wrenching painfully in his chest. He didn't feel any surge of relief with her explanation, and how could he? If she had no idea what had happened to him, then how on earth was he supposed to be able to discern it? He could tell, however, that now was not the time to sit and think idly over the possible outcomes of his son-in-law's fate. No, now was the time to soothe his daughter.
"Calm down, Misae, sweet heart," he attempted, his brows drawn down into a furrowed 'V'. He threw a grateful glance in the direction of his mate as she stepped forward to comfort her, but when he caught that glance, he realized that she was waiting for him to take the lead again. What was he supposed to do? There was no cure for heartache, that much he knew.
"I can't tell you that it's alright," he said slowly, leaning down to butt his forehead gently against hers, "no one can. Wherever he is, I'm sure he's there with good reason." Be it this realm, or another, though he didn't add that part to his speech. "If you can't see it, then.. maybe it means you aren't meant to? Maybe he doesn't want you to." He didn't want to think badly of the male, but he didn't want to phrase that term in the past tense either, as that might simply upset her more.
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:22 am
She'd remain calm for a long time now. Had even offered her children brave smiles when they'd asked, but now that she had someone she could actually lean on, Misae felt as if a dam had been broken and she finally allowed herself to cry.
Maybe... that's what she needed though. Maybe crying away the tears of pain was what she needed in order to heal the wound over. Ignoring something did not make it go away, and try as she might have... she had been unable to push the hurt away by simply refusing to believe it was there. She believed in her pride's history and the fact that death was not to be feared. But that did nothing to quell the loneliness inside of her, "What am I going to do now? What should I do?" she asked the older lions.
It was obvious she had absolutely no clue of how to go forth from here.
Tsi'hilu licked her maw, her eyes seeking out her mate's briefly before she focused them on the lioness she was attempting to comfort, "I don't know what you should do, but deary... I know what you should NOT do," she licked the top of Misae's head briefly before continue, "You can not grieve eternally. I don't think he'd want you to."
She had... not had the pleasure of knowing Hadithi as well as her mate had (even if Nyota had always been grumpy about the male - mostly for 'stealing' his little one away) , but something told her he wouldn't have wanted to see Misae like this, "Chin up, child. I know it hurts now... but it won't hurt forever," her eyes looked at Nyota once more, trying to figure if he thought it was a good idea to tell her to maybe.... find a new mate. Someone to talk to. Someone to share her time with.
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:46 am
It hurt to see her like this, he had to admit, and without Tsi here he wasn't sure he'd have been able to keep enough of his wits about him to have been much of a help to her. That said, he was immensely grateful for the help that Tsi was providing, not just as his support in the face of this unexpected situation, but as a sort of mothering figure to Misae as well. If there was one thing she'd never really had, it was that.
"We can't tell you what to do," he said gently, busying himself with licking her cheek. It was a strange gesture, usually one like a mother cleaning her cub, but he felt like it might comfort her (though it didn't make him feel any less awkward doing it). "Everyone has to find their own path in times like these." He didn't want to risk the chance of telling her to do something, only to have it backfire. She was fragile, in many ways, and if what he told her to do hurt her more in the end he would never forgive himself.
"I think all you can do is heal, sweetheart, and then wait for time to show you the rest." He tilted his head somewhat to the side as he looked down at her eyes, trying to look as if he were mostly unaffected by this, calm as always, though there was a slight twitch in his eyes that gave it away.
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:59 am
If anything... their words helped. That was plainly obvious.
She hadn't really allowed herself to pause and think that perhaps, just perhaps, things would be alright, and that all she had to do was to let go. Tsi'hilu was right; Hadithi would not have wanted to see her like this, and even if he wasn't, in fact... with the muses, circumstances were keeping him from returning. She had to pick up the broken pieces of her life and reconstruct it from scratch.
She had to move on.
Granted, thinking it was easier than doing it, but at least admitting to it was a start. A good one, "You're right..." she was talking to both of them; they were both right, really, "I... I'm sorry," because she was. In all honesty, all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and curl up and sleep her sorrow away for a few days; maybe she'd wake up to peace of mind and a better day.
"That's it, sweetheart... that's good," came the whisper from the older lioness, whom merely lifted her head up to gesture to her mate mildly, indicating as silently as possible that they should lead the Queen away. She had been able to read Misae (after all, she'd had her own set of cubs - some more problematic than others) and she knew when a child was tired out emotionally and simply needed the rest.
"Let's get some rest, shall we?" she watched as the other lioness nodded vaguely, submissively and she released her from the 'hug' of sorts that she had been offering her, once more indicating at her mate to lead the way and place himself near his daughter, "Let's go find a peaceful place to curl up and rest. We'll tell you about our journeys. I'm sure you want to hear the stories we have to tell."
Again she watched the lioness nod her head, but she had been unable to keep her ears from perking at the sound of the word 'stories'. Hadithi had told her most wonderful of stories...
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:11 am
It was good to see the little bit of life flowing back into his beloved Misae, and he could see the changes in her demeanor right before his eyes. All it had taken was for them to tell her that she needed to pick up the pieces of her life, and she had been able to realize it. It made him wonder why no one else had bothered to do so before? With a bit of a frown, he cast a glance around at the pride, inwardly scowling at it. Some pride they were, if they let their queen go on like this. Maybe their heads were too far in the clouds.
"Yes, let's go lay down," he murmured, washing away his frown and nudging his daughter lightly with his maw against her shoulder. He started to walk, though it was a slow pace, waiting for Misae to fall in with him. He didn't know where any of the nice resting places here were - the few he had once been familiar with probably escaped his memory at this point, it had been so long. It would take Misae's guidance, no matter that it was he and his mate who appeared to be pushing her along.
"We'll be here for a little while to visit too," he said, offering her a smile, though the traces of it were sad with lingering sympathy for her, "I'll be here for a while." He felt needed, that much he could say, and it was strange that it happened to be by his eldest daughter. It made him wonder if perhaps one of his other children would ever need him so much? Here he had been, thinking they would never need their parents again. How wrong he had been. It seemed that when things went wrong, cubs always needed their parents, no matter if they were young or grown.
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