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 Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:42 pm
So, I just found out that the girl I'm in love with is engaged to some guy. She met him two days before I got her new contact info and told her how I felt (turns out she felt the same, but didn't want to dump 'im for me)
If there is a god, someone should kick him in the balls. Hard. With steel toes.
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:33 am
She's made her choice. It may be the right one for her, or it may not, but it is still her choice to make. Let her know that your feelings haven't changed, but you think it would be wisest to keep your distance and not put an impediment into her current relationship. However, you might also mention that if she's already planning divorce, she shouldn't marry. That is, if she's already thinking "If this doesn't work out, I should really get back in touch with Dis Domnu," then she's not fully committed to her current fiance'.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 4:45 pm
I know this seems insensitive, but think of the dramatic quality! Go along to the wedding, and as they say "Does anyone have any reasons why these two cannot be joined in holy Matrimony?" or something similar, jump up and say: "I do! I love you, ____."
To a more serious note:
1. Obviously, listen to what Divash said. It's sounds advice.
2. You [ethically] should have little to no control over whether she stays with him. So if you do choose to follow Divash's advice and speak with her about how she shouldn't go through with her marriage if she considers divorce, please don't try and manipulate/pressure her into leaving him. You may not even realise you're doing it, but to an extent you probably will be.
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 4:49 pm
Oh, there's no worries of me manipulating her. She's chosen to cut contact.
I'll get over it.
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 1:05 pm
Behatzlacha-S To a more serious note: 1. Obviously, listen to what Divash said. It's sounds advice. I'll say. A while ago in Jewish Information, Behatz also said: Behatzlacha-S Rule 2 of the JGG: Divash knows more than you, no matter what. ALWAYS listen to Divash.
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