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 Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:11 pm
The words and entries that follow are the thoughts and emotions of A.D. Florence. Do not speak of what you might see when this joural is left unattended, for these thoughts are private unless shared by Aster.
Signed by,
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:04 pm
March 06, 2009
I can't deny it I suppose. The way she moves, talks, laughs. Its all too much really. Her very presence effects me in a way I hadn't thought possible for a woman, no a namir in general, could. Its like she's bewitched me with some sort of elegant voodoo. Cast a spell over my soul and emotions! What a wonderful witch she is, to have broke through my defenses. I do credit, the fact she has had two years to do so. But, I almost hesitate to say, that maybe I have felt for her ever since we were kits and dismissed it into adulthood as childhood affection.
Gah! What I wouldn't give to sort out these feelings into little boxes, the scraps of paper that make them lined with simple words that I could understand with no confusion. If only life was so simple! But life, like this woman, is so complex. I can't believe I missed the chance she gave me long ago, when we were both normal adults and still young. I should have said yes. I should have told her right then and there how I felt about her. But of course, that would make my life too easy!
Maybe I should tell her. No. No, I do not see her loving me again. Not yet at least. Like any man, I hope that she will return my feelings in time. But if the fates decide to be cruel, and the gods spurn me for my affections and mistakes, then I will remain by her side as a Friend. A best Friend. I will suffer inside, yes, but I suffer for her. I must seem Masochistic emotionally, but you my dear journal, no not of how I feel inside. I shall do anything in my power to please and protect her. I might, though again I hesitate to say in fear of a lack of will on my part, just die for her.
Farewell my Journal. Until next I need you.
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