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 Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 8:55 pm
 Lela was asleep with her brother San, resting still. Mosi's thoughts were still in a frenzy, not unlike the frothing waters that housed the river hunters right after a large, fresh kill, their scaley bodies churning the water as they twisted and rendered their meal into pieces. Such were her thoughts, tearing and ripping away the layers to try to get to the heart of what had happened.
The day before was a hazey dream to her. She could not recall details or her words or her actions, just that she and a couple of the cubs, Lela and San left the den that night, aimed for her old family den, the one that had once been shared with Nukta and Adanna and Jini, that small cave.
It felt so cold and empty now and she missed her brother and parents, even though her brother had never left the Pridelands. She wanted to go back to those days before she had taken a mate, before she was old enough to know what a mate was, why it mattered, or what it meant to be an adult. Similarly though she couldn't bring herself to do such a thing. She had duties now, she would not trade the happy days nor their children or the friendship and relationship she'd had with Juhudi previously for anything, but she wished clarity didn't have to come at such a price.
She stood at the entrance of the den while the cubs dozed behind her, soaked in what little sun peeked through rumbling clouds overhead that promised rain. Mosi would have preferred sunshine. She didn't care what mood she was in, rain wouldn't help, and she always felt better when she could see the sun, it gave her some feeling that her mother was still there, just as the darker greens of the grass and the dark of nightfall and shadows reminded her of her father. She even would have been glad to see one of her uncles or aunts, her grandmother, her aunt Tai, or the golden pelt of the one constant friend she'd always had through good times and bad. How was she supposed to cope with the guilt?
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:42 pm
 It was his day off, so to speak. All the cubs were with their mothers, and though he wanted sorely to be with them, he had learned to treasure those moments when he had peace. When he was younger he would use this time to chase after females to charm and woo. But now that he had taken more then he could possibly chew, he was beginning to realize that perhaps his days as a father were done and over with. Once his latest litters grew, he imagined he would be too focused on playing with his grandcubs to want to have more of his own. He had quite a few litters that were adults by now, though none looked too promising in their relationships. With as many cubs as he had, though, one was bound to give him grandchildren, and maybe his drive to have more cubs of his own would die out then.
The golden lion sighed to himself, wandering through the Pridelands, aching to head to Pride Rock to see his litter with Tai... they were just growing so big, and he was frightened by the possibility that they would have grown and changed on him in the day or two he had not seen them. Yet as he saw the dark clouds looming overhead, he knew he would not make it to Pride Rock before a downpour, and above all else Ezeoha loathed getting soaked to his bones. The wet look just wasn't for him. To those would could pull it off, Ezeoha was impressed. He looked downright pitiful when he was soaked.
His red eyes scanned the area surrounding him, looking for some cave or tree he could take shelter under before the rains set in. In the distance he saw a promising looking cave, and so set off in that general direction. So long as it didn't start pouring while he was still out in the open he was going to be just okay. Yet, as he drew closer to the cave, he realized it wasn't uninhabited.
And shortly after that he realized it was Mosi was standing at the entrance, and something looked... off about her. Yes, something certainly wasn't right. "Mosi?" His voice was just loud enough for her to hear the question in it, and he began to make a beeline for the black and white lioness.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:43 pm
It was either dumb luck or good timing on Ezeoha's part to show up when he did. Mosi spotted him drawing closer and after realizing that it was indeed Ezeoha and not one of his relatives she relaxed a bit, though she also felt a bit nervous inwardly. He was the source of her "problems" after all, but still she'd wanted to see him anyway. There was a lot of uncertainty hanging about still, and she had hoped for a chance to clear her head and sort things out.
"Ezeoha..." Came the reply, for once in their long friendship she didn't sound completely self assured and confident, but tired, maybe a bit relieved, but definitely tired and even somewhat hurt or confused.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:46 pm
His gaze was almost critical, observing her for the slightest changes from her norm, and he saw it, and it bothered him. Despite how much he teased and flirted with Mosi, she was his friend, and she had put up with his flirtatious behavior for years now. The golden pridelander didn't hesitate to close the distance between them, to friendly nudge her shoulder with his cheek in greeting - a brief little nuzzle to show her that he was there for her. "You don't sound your usual impudent self. Where's my scolding? I know I've probably done something you don't like since the last time I saw you."
He smiled at her, his expression easy-going and almost careless, but that wasn't the truth. Ezeoha was hoping that she would take to his normal behavior, and somehow draw herself out of her own thoughts to talk to him. Really, a tired and unusual Mosi was something he did not know how to deal with. She was almost always a vigorous and strong character - it was how she resisted and turned him down whenever he tried to flirt with her. Such memories could make him smile, really.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:47 pm
Mosi let him greet her, half heartedly returning the gesture before moving from the entrance a bit to settle down. The cubs tended to be heavy sleepers, and even if they woke up the oncoming rain now sweeping towards the cave would drown out their voices as long as they kept to hushed tones. The cold stone did little to nothing to quell the sick and churning feeling in her stomach's pit. She settled to lie down halfway anyway.
"No, Ezzy, it was me for once." She admitted with an exhausted frown, not meeting his eyes. Her voice came out again, this time just above a whisper as she felt almost ashamed to be admitting the words. "I left yesterday... and I don't know if I'll ever go back."
She wasn't sure when she had extended her claws, but she felt them now clawing at the stone floor. At least one thing about Mosi had not changed, and that was her tendency to get right to the point. Again she spoke, and this time her voice was a whisper as the reality sunk in and settled with a freezing zhill in her bones, an unfamiliar wetness coming to her eyes.
"I left him..."
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:49 pm
He followed her into the cave, personally relieved to be as far as out of the rain as he possibly could be. Ezeoha and water had never been the perfect mixture. But, it wasn't because of the incoming rain that he sought out the depths of the den, but rather because Mosi had entered in and he suspected that there was something huge on her mind, and being her friend he would not abandon her now, not if she needed him for comforting. Ezeoha may have his faults, but once someone got past that, he was as good a lion as the next.
He sat down, his back pressing lightly against the cave wall as his red eyes observed Mosi. Her reply to his light-hearted comment bothered him, and his brows creased down ever-so slightly in a portrayal of his worry and concern. "Mosi..." his voice was soft, and he was trying his best to tell her not to be upset with herself, but then she confessed what had happened, and he was a little shocked out of his mind.
The lion didn't reply until he was certain that he had his shock under control, and so when he spoke his words were smooth and warm in an attempt to soothe Mosi. "You left... Juhudi? Why? What happened?" He didn't want to ask if Juhudi had done anything to hurt her, because if that was the case Ezeoha would be more focused on hurting Juhudi then being there for Mosi, and he was certain now that Mosi needed him.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:52 pm
"I don't know," She lied, to him, to herself, but then, DID she really know why? What happened? Mosi shook her head as if to answer that herself. She didn't. "It just... doesn't feel like it used to anymore, I guess it hasn't for a while now. I had to get out." She admitted, reaching up to scrub almost angrily at her eyes with a paw.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:53 pm
He was at a loss of what to do, because Mosi had seemed so stable in her relationship with Juhudi. They had beautiful children, and to him she had seemed happy. For him to miss something like this was atrocious, and he felt the guilt rise in the pit of his stomach that he had been so oblivious. How long had she been unhappy with the relationship? How long had he gone on making more children while she was struggling to find happiness in her relationship with Juhudi? He subtly shook his head, trying to dispell such thoughts so he could focus on the now, on the Mosi now rather then the Mosi back then.
"I understand. Are you going to stay here?" He gestured to the den, though what he really wanted to do was get down to the gritty detail of why Mosi had left Juhudi. But, he wasn't going to ask her for more then she was willing to give. No, he would be here solely for comfort, and nothing else. Mosi would definitely need a friend through this, and Ezeoha was more than willing to be that friend. It made him appreciate the fact that his cubs were with their mothers today.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:55 pm
"Not sure..."
Finally her eyes drifted back to the small pile of cubs, her daughter and son sleeping at the very back of the den.
"What have I done to them, Ezeoha? What would I tell them if they asked why I left?"
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:56 pm
"You've done nothing wrong to them. You've been the best mother you could be - any cub would be gifted to have you for a parent. Don't you dare start thinking that they'll hate you, or that you've wronged them." His voice was a little harsh, but only because when it came to cubs, he felt strongly that any cub would love its parent. Wasn't he a prime example of that? His children loved him, despite how much he got around, and all of his personality faults.
"You just tell them the truth, and nothing else. They will understand. They're good kids." He moved closer to Mosi, and reassuringly nudged her shoulder, purring loudly and comfortingly. "Don't feel bad for doing what was right for you. You'll be happier, and in turn your cubs will be happier as well."
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:57 pm
"I feel like I'm not even myself anymore." Mosi admitted with a mutter past grit teeth, but nestled down under his nuzzle, feeling weary again as the rain pelted the stone overhead, soothing her racing thoughts along with the warmth of his nearness. "I'm glad your here..."
There was just so much going through her mind right then. She'd never tried to intentionally hurt anyone that hadn't asked for it by threatening her or her own, so she really wasn't sure how to begin coping with such a heavy load of guilt.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:58 pm
"You're just as much of yourself as the day I met you," he told her firmly, hating the words that were coming out of the usually strong lioness's lips. It was strange, foreign even, to hear her doubt herself so. It was also something he wished he would never have to become accostomed to. He wanted the strong, fiesty Mosi back, but he would be here for the one showing her vulnerability. He would be here for Mosi until she managed to pull herself back on her feet and face the world with a new, redefined confidence. "I'm glad I'm here, too - I'll aways be there for you, Mosi, as long as you want me to be."
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