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Eloquent Conversationalist
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 Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 7:32 am
There are creepy people everywhere online. Most of the time, it's hard to tell who the serious predators are, because they are very practiced at pretending to be something they're not. Here are some of the things they'll do.
1. They'll be good listeners if you have a problem, because you'll be less careful and more prone to let slip the details that will tell them where you live, where you go to school, and so on.
2. They'll be supportive in anything that causes you to resent your parents or other friends, and they'll tell you they don't trust their parents, and give examples of "parents' mind-games," because when you feel alone, you are more vulnerable, and when your parents don't get told what you do and who you talk to, they can't protect you from the predators.
3. They'll pretend to be kids your own age, because you'll think surely another kid won't be any danger to you.
4. They'll convince you that you're smart, strong, and savvy, because that way you'll believe that your own judgment about them could never be wrong.
5. They'll pretend to have other things in common with you, because you'll feel that you connected with them and can trust them.
6. Sometimes they'll even pretend that they're wary of meeting you in person, so that you can reassure them that YOU aren't scared of THEM, and they'll make you think it's your own idea to meet them.
(Continued in next post.)
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 7:47 am
Here's what you can do to avoid becoming a victim of online predators.
1. Never, never, never give anyone your real name, address, phone number, the name of your school, or your parents' or friends' names.
2. Are you on Gaia, Facebook, Myspace, Habbo, SingSnap, and all these other forums and sites for connecting with people? DON'T TELL ANYONE. Don't use your real name, and don't tell anyone from one site who you are on another site. Things you say on Gaia could give people one clue about who you are, while things on Myspace will give another clue, and so on, until finally an online predator has a really good mental picture of you.
3. Don't post any pictures of you that you wouldn't want your parents, grandparents, or teachers to see. No nudity or partial nudity, no suggestive poses or facial expressions. Better yet, don't even allow such pictures to be taken of you, ever. Don't send suggestive or explicit text messages, either. Look what happened to Vanessa Hudgens. The whole world knew her private business, just because she made a mistaken when sending her photos.
4. Don't post pictures of yourself beside identifiable local landmarks. Vacations are different -- "This is me at the Grand Canyon!" -- but make sure it's known that you don't live there. People can find that landmark, grocery store, skyline, mountain range... and they'll know right where you live.
5. Never give anyone your password to anything. Don't post cute little hints about the password, either, like "It's one of my dogs." Believe me, someone determined to figure it out will do so. They can track your location by knowing your ISP and the location of the computer/terminal where you log in.
6. Don't meet anyone alone, ever. Bring a friend, and meet in a public, well-populated place.
7. Don't meet anyone in a private place, ever. When I met up with darkphoenix1247, I made sure that her parents were coming with her. I also made sure that I was in a big, public place, and that my best friend knew where I was, who I was meeting with, their phone numbers (which the police could use to track them if I went missing), where we were going, and what time I'd be calling her back if I wasn't in danger. I also arranged a password with my friend that I would use if everything was okay, and another password that I would use if things had gone very wrong.
8. If you meet someone, don't bring them back to your home. Don't get in a car with them. Don't go to their home. Don't go out into the wilderness or other isolated areas with them. Stay in public, well-populated places, like a restaurant. If you can meet somewhere at least a few miles from your home, so much the better -- they don't need to follow you home from there.
9. "I have a gun. Come with me and you won't get hurt." If someone says this to you, it is a lie. If you go with them, you will certainly get hurt. Walk away, or run away, or shout "He has a gun!" If someone needs a weapon, or pretends to have a weapon, they're using it to get you alone and in a place where you're vulnerable, so that they can do something horrible to you. Don't let yourself be manipulated.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 3:12 pm
Thanks for the awesome advice. Can I just add that "******" (the act of attracting a potential online predator so that you can taunt him/her via a messeging service is neither funny nor smart. It is very stupid. Very, very stupid.
Divash covered everything else, except for one bit: If your school or team or work has a uniform, down't wear it in pictures. It's too easy for a pervert to drive to your hometown, wait outside your work/school/centre for you, wait until you're alone and kidnap you. I know this sounds really daft now, but this has happened in Britain several times.
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 3:54 pm
Thank you very much for making this thread, Divash. It's really needed. I even started ranting about it on TJAM, which prompted the following on "Whatt is ___ like?" (which I actually brought back and now feel bad about): Lumanny And about Internet Security as I awas talking about on TJAM? Without my even asking, I know a certain member's full real name, location, and some stuff about them just by hanging out and reading the forums. Lumanny Oh yeah and their age and a bunch of personal information. It's true. ********** is very sloppy with information! I never even asked or hinted about any of it! Half of it was on threads I'd not posted on, even, put looking around the forums got me more thn enough information to get to them. BE CAREFUL!
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 3:57 pm
This was on another guild I subsribe to, and I just might post some of this there...
BUT REALLY, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MURDERED. BE CAREFUL!!!
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 4:00 pm
It was me, wasn't it? I don't worry so much because this is an American site, and I posted in a guild with a smallish amount of members. Not very many are likely to be British ******.
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 4:17 pm
BTW, I get really scared for people when I see threads like that Frappr map and people on guilds like ******.
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 4:19 pm
This guild isn't open to everyone. It's private. Which means that only 500 people can see it, and most of them will never come here again. Most have never posted once!
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 5:07 pm
I jsut worry about *******, and hope they don't end up like that girl who was too trusting and walked right into the arms of a horrible man from online who raped her and left her dying. So manytragic stories liek that. cry
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 5:26 pm
Stop with the ***'s! I have no idea who you're on about! If you have a problem, state it. We're here to help, if anything.
Here's my card:
*hands PM adress*
Send me a message if you ever want to vent in privacy. I'm a good listener (but not a pervert!). mrgreen mrgreen
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:31 am
One small correction: This is NOT a private guild. I was reading this guild for about two weeks before I signed up for it, which means that anyone else could be doing the same thing. Now, I read the guild because I wanted to know if it was a place I'd enjoy hanging out, but a ***** will be reading it with other ideas in mind. Please, even here, be extra careful!
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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 1:35 pm
But it says its a private guild!! I couldn't see the forums before I joined up! Would anyone like to correct me on that? Maybe it got changed recently. Or maybe my computer's whack and couldn't find the web address for the forums.
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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:50 pm
I'm pretty sure I did the same thing Divash did.
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Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:33 pm
EDITED: What Divash said is totally true. My parents and I also have a password, and my whole family lives in Chicago and knew where we going in case anything happened. Fortunately, she's not a crazy ax-murderer. blaugh
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darkphoenix1247 Vice Captain
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