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| Should she Abort? |
| Yes |
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50% |
[ 1 ] |
| No |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| No & Put them up for Adoption |
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50% |
[ 1 ] |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
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| Total Votes : 2 |
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 Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:21 pm
.. The only people who know are me and her fiance..
I dont really know what to do about it, I can hardly even believe it, thinking about it makes me feel sick...
[My mom is pretty old, and she told me she couldn't afford it, really. She and I are against abortion, and she is so sad about it.. I keep telling her that she believed that it was wrong, and that she needed to be responsible about it. I mean, she was not using birth control at all.]
I told her she should have the baby and put it up for adoption, but she has a job now, and she worries about her reputation and health. As do I.. but It just makes me so sad..
She can't tell any of her friends, she does not trust them enough, so I'm the only person who she can get advise and help from, this puts kind of a Huge weight on me. However, I know you all could help through advise, what to say and how to help her out.
What on Earth can I do? I'm all she's got...
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:27 pm
As a woman gets older there is a far greater chance of birth defects happening. Including but not exclusive to autism. She should have an abortion.
Think about the kind of life the child would have if he/she were born with that kind of defect. It would be far crueler to bring it into the world than to abort it before it even develops into a child. It would be selfish to bring it into the world just because of your random 'principles.' You have to consider the life of the person you are bringing into the world as well.
Also if it would cause financial hardship (more so if it is born defective), you shouldn't do it. You have to consider your own finances as well. The living members of your own family and your current way of life are more important than a fetus.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:32 pm
True. ..This was her reasoning as well, ironically enough.
I just think about.. gosh.. what if this person grows up to be a good person, and you're destroying the chance it had to be happy?
What if that baby was me..and my mom chose to abort me over her age?
It just makes me want to cry...
u_u i dunno
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:38 pm
Well the first thing any pregnant woman should do is head to the doctor. Get checked out and find out what sort of risks she may be putting herself through. Talk to her boss at work and see what they can work out in terms of maternity leave.
AS long as she and the baby are both healthy it would be my opinion that she should give the baby up for adoption. Using abortion as a form of birth control has always greatly bothered me but of course it's totally her decision.
Can she deal with carrying a child for 9 months and giving it to another family to raise? How would she feel knowing that her blood and your sibling is out in the world away from her own influence and values and care.
It's a heck of a lot to deal with and it's really to bad she doesn't have a larger support network that she can fall back on. Places with counsellors like Planned Parenting aren't just for knocked up teens. Encourage her to go and talk to someone.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:39 pm
Mavole True. ..This was her reasoning as well, ironically enough. I just think about.. gosh.. what if this person grows up to be a good person, and you're destroying the chance it had to be happy? What if that baby was me..and my mom chose to abort me over her age? It just makes me want to cry... u_u i dunno We can't live in a world of "What if..." We have to live in the present and deal with the present facts of situations. That's the only way we can move on and progress in life. There is always the chance that it won't be autistic. But do you want to play those odds? Before we go into anything we have to know the odds. Let me give you an example: Say I had a revolver with 5 empty slots. Say I loaded it with 4 bullets, and told you that I'm going to spin the clip and than take a shot at you. You'll have a 20% chance of survival, and if you live I'll give you a million dollars. Would you be willing to play that game? Most people wouldn't because, quite frankly it's their life at stake. Lets take a similar situation, where I load 1 bullet into the revolver and spin the clip. You than have a 80% chance of survival and a 20% chance of death. I offer you a million dollars to stand there while I shoot at you. Would you play that game? Most people wouldn't, actually. Do you want to play a proverbial game of Russian Roulette with the life of another person? It's not fair, quite frankly.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:44 pm
Sipid that would only apply if you 20% was accurate and I don't believe it is. You can't really argue physical or mental defect because there is always and unknown chance and you would abort every child.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:59 pm
Chalda Sipid that would only apply if you 20% was accurate and I don't believe it is. You can't really argue physical or mental defect because there is always and unknown chance and you would abort every child. This is True.. but I get the idea.. Chalda did have a good point though...
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:01 pm
There is definitely a higher risk of birth defects with an older mother, but it is not certain. She should go to a doctor or somewhere and get things checked out. They would probably be able to offer advice on her options as well. If her fiance knows, he should provide some support, morally and financially.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:08 pm
I do agree, she should see a doctor who can perform genetic tests on her and the child in order to get an idea of the child's health at birth.
Anyway, my point with that analogy would be, at what odds would you be willing to play that game? 1/10? 1/100? 1/1000? At what point would you be willing to take that bullet for the chance of a million dollars? In fact, my analogy was faulty. Instead of me pointing the gun at you, how about I point it at your child and give you the same offer? 1/10? 1/100? 1/1000? At what chance are you willing to put his life on the line?
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:22 pm
Captain_Sipid_Peabody I do agree, she should see a doctor who can perform genetic tests on her and the child in order to get an idea of the child's health at birth. Anyway, my point with that analogy would be, at what odds would you be willing to play that game? 1/10? 1/100? 1/1000? At what point would you be willing to take that bullet for the chance of a million dollars? In fact, my analogy was faulty. Instead of me pointing the gun at you, how about I point it at your child and give you the same offer? 1/10? 1/100? 1/1000? At what chance are you willing to put his life on the line? Genetic tests are really expensive though. We saw a procedure in my human sexuality class where a few tests for abnormal chromosomes added up to around $15,000. At the very least what a doctor can do is make sure the baby is developing normally via ultrasound (or whatever else they use).
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:25 pm
AraTeran Captain_Sipid_Peabody I do agree, she should see a doctor who can perform genetic tests on her and the child in order to get an idea of the child's health at birth. Anyway, my point with that analogy would be, at what odds would you be willing to play that game? 1/10? 1/100? 1/1000? At what point would you be willing to take that bullet for the chance of a million dollars? In fact, my analogy was faulty. Instead of me pointing the gun at you, how about I point it at your child and give you the same offer? 1/10? 1/100? 1/1000? At what chance are you willing to put his life on the line? Genetic tests are really expensive though. We saw a procedure in my human sexuality class where a few tests for abnormal chromosomes added up to around $15,000. At the very least what a doctor can do is make sure the baby is developing normally via ultrasound (or whatever else they use). Yikes. That is rather expensive. But no price should be too high to assure that your child won't be defective. In the event of a pregnancy... well, I'd try to force the person I was with to have an abortion... but in theory, if I wanted to keep the child, and there was a significant risk of such a defection, I'd probably put up the money. As far as I know, an ultrasound can't determine autism. Although I've never studied such matters extensively.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:28 pm
Captain_Sipid_Peabody I do agree, she should see a doctor who can perform genetic tests on her and the child in order to get an idea of the child's health at birth. Anyway, my point with that analogy would be, at what odds would you be willing to play that game? 1/10? 1/100? 1/1000? At what point would you be willing to take that bullet for the chance of a million dollars? In fact, my analogy was faulty. Instead of me pointing the gun at you, how about I point it at your child and give you the same offer? 1/10? 1/100? 1/1000? At what chance are you willing to put his life on the line?
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:54 pm
Well first off she should go to the doctor. Second, it is probably best to abort. With the higher chance of birth defects and the lack of money to pay for this child it's mostl likely better to abort.
Ugh, I feel like a bad person saying that... Well, anyways I wish your mother and you the best of luck with this. heart
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 11:24 pm
My advice would be for her to go to a doctor and find out what the real levels of risk are in her carrying this child to term.
As for weather she should abort or adopt or perhaps even keep this child, that is a decsion that is going to have to be made by her and no one else. Finding out the realistic numbers on health issues and what not from the doctor can help her with this choice, taking also to the doctor about adoption agencies can help with this choice, there are a lot of different people for her to talk to and to gather information from, but ultimately it will be her choice.
I wish both of you the best of luck and hope that the choice she makes will infact be the one that works out best for all.
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 12:01 am
Chalda Captain_Sipid_Peabody I do agree, she should see a doctor who can perform genetic tests on her and the child in order to get an idea of the child's health at birth. Anyway, my point with that analogy would be, at what odds would you be willing to play that game? 1/10? 1/100? 1/1000? At what point would you be willing to take that bullet for the chance of a million dollars? In fact, my analogy was faulty. Instead of me pointing the gun at you, how about I point it at your child and give you the same offer? 1/10? 1/100? 1/1000? At what chance are you willing to put his life on the line? I agree with Chalda on this matter.. Its basically everything I will try to explain to my mom the next time I call her [she lives far away] Thank you, Cha Cha heart Although, I agree with some of you out there who mentioned the pricing and cost of all this; she told me that a cezarian [however its spelt] is 9000 [that was when she had me] and she cannot afford it.. But I hate thinking about having a brother or sister murdered before I met them... It terrifies me, actually... Maybe its because of the break-up and the fact that there's not a whole lot of family around me anymore, and I feel apathy? Does anyone know what I'm talking about? sweatdrop
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