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 Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:36 pm
Thunder crashed. Lights flickered. The power went out. All this happened before. In the dark, Xeneth felt his way up to the closet to get the emergency candles. “A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!” he kept saying to himself. For some reason, he found comfort in palindromes. Click! Jriggle! He got the door open. He found the candles, eventually, and tried to make his way down the stairs.
Going up was easy, he could feel the edge of the step his toe. Going down would prove a challenge. A challenge too great for him. Not even on the third step down he slipped and... Thud, thud, thid-thud-thud down all eleven remaining stairs. He was out cold.
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:10 am
The spirits actually didn't have to do much pushing and prodding with fate in this case - Xeneth was just unbelievably clumsy it seemed. Alls they had to do was move the unconscious body, send the souls for bonding, leave the necklace for the relic and from there it was all programmed.
When Xeneth woke up again, he was on a small space cruiser, there was an unremovable necklace around his throat with a relic on it, his soul was bonded to that of a god, and there was a weird woman bouncing on her toes and waiting to talk to him. Her skin was bright purple, her hair was brown and bobbed, and she was dressed in a red bellhop's uniform - and damn was she happy.
"YAAAAAAAY! YOU'RE UP! I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU!" Cami squeaked joyously.
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:27 pm
Xeneth looked around the room. He blinked. There was more light here than he was used to. “Uh, what?” he said, and blinked again. He wasn't the brightest bulb in the four pack (now only $9.95 plus shipping and handling and if you order now you get an all-purpose Hoen era harp you can even play in the bath).
“Now, I'm not bright, I'll tell you that, but I think you've got this “robbing” thing confused. When I'm out cold you're supposed to leave me, take my stuff and certainly not give me more stuff.” he added, upon inspection of the odd neck dressing.
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:56 pm
"Oh no no no, silly, I'm not robbing you!" Cami explained cheerfully, bouncing on her toes. "See, I'm actually supposed to give you good news - you're gonna be a daddy!"
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:04 pm
"You don't look much like how I imagined the stork." Xeneth said, tartly. "I imgained him, or her, to be much more like, well, a bird. Also, don't you traditionally deal with the females? And I thought you only delivered babies if I bought them online." He was going on a bit of a rant. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I had the talk. I know that you can buy them at the Hospital or the stork deliveres them if you order them online." Xeneth's world was slowly falling apart.
First the tooth fairy turned out to be the same lady that worked the Drive-Thru at Chicken Princess and now this. "Also, is this, like, the baby suppily factory? Can you show me how you make babies here?" He asked as an afterthought.
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:07 pm
The purple female of course burst into a fit of unnecessary giggles at that. "Oh, nonono silly!" she repeated, "See, the baby is a reborn god. That comes from a necklace. Like the one around your neck."
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:13 pm
Xeneth was very confused. More than usual.
"Okay, so, I wear this kneck Do-hickey-thing (what is it called?) and then a baby comes out?" He blinked. "Does it hatch like an egg?" He asked.
After a bit of an uncomfortable silence which seemed much longer to Xeneth than it actually was he asked another question.
"What god is it, anyway?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:15 pm
"Nah, you just have a freaky dream and poof baby." Cami said in her rendition of Sage.
As to his second question, she shrugged like a smile child would when called on by a teacher on their first day of class and smiled. "I dunno, I didn't pick you or what you'd get. The peeps in charge just went BAM! you now has baby, mmkay? And now you do."
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:21 pm
"So, let me get this stright." Xeneth said, trying to figure it out.
"Some baby chickens decited to give me a baby, and I'll get it after I have a weird dream?"
"But I thought a man and a woman had to love eachother very much before they quallified for baby ownership. Like, you need to have a liscense in order to have a dog. Don't I need to get a liscense to have a baby? Will you just mail it to me later, but before the freaky dream? I don't know what I'll do if the cops bust down my door becuase I don't have a baby liscnese."
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:24 pm
"Yepyep, baby chickens." Cami agreed, too stupid to really say otherwise.
"Oh, no, if loving were involved me and my fifty-two sisters wouldn't exist. And my parents aren't qualified for baby ownership so I guess they stopped requiring licenses long ago."
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:26 pm
"Amazing. I guess anyone can have a baby theese days." Xeneth responded.
"So, do you intend to get me back home or do I have to walk? And, if this isn't a baby factory, where am I anyway?" Xeneth wanted to be home in time for dinner.
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:28 pm
"Oh, I gotta send you home with magic after I'm done explainin stuff and answerin questions." the brunette told him with another nod. "And you're on a ship. S'floating around above Gaia. I gots to stay here and watch for new guardians to give them news."
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:35 pm
"Well I wasn't going to ask you back to my place. You're not my type." Xeneth assumed Cami (who had never even said her name to him) was hitting on him. It didn't happen often, really.
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:37 pm
"Oh I dun wanna go back with you anyway. I've got a hot date with a potted shrub tonight and I don't even know your name." she told him with a warm smile, "was there anything you wanted to know?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:40 pm
"Not really. Say, does that shrub have a sister? I'm into that 'tall green and leafy' type." Xeneth asked, hopeful Cami might say yes. "Also, you never said you name." He added.
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