|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:05 pm
Bells was relaxing again; for the past few weeks she had found herself alone, and it wasn't because she was left alone... but more-so was it her personal choice. As of late many things ran through her mind... and she found it hard to find herself in all of it, everything that was going on. her dark eyes narrowed as she yawned and rolled herself up. Maybe today would be a better day?
--
Jachai had spent the day lounging around, it was his turn to watch over the pups while Spade was out hunting. Every other day they would switch shifts, or even sometimes when she returned he would go out and vice versa. It wasn't really to hunt it was more of an idle search. Both canines were looking for something, or rather someone. She didn't really have any clue as to who she looked for but he did. Every time he saw tanned fur he thought it was her. Every time it was not. He was rather disappointed each time but he never gave up hope. After all Spade was always there to go back to when he didn't find her.
He missed Bella greatly, sometimes when he was in the company of his current 'mate' his thoughts would drift to her. Obviously his feelings for the lioness overpowered his feeling for the wild dog female. Shrugging he pushed himself to his paws when he saw her white form headed his way. "I'm going to go out for a bit kay Spades?" He called not really waiting for a reply before he trotted off. Lately he had found it harder not to think about the other female, maybe it was because he was getting closer to her. He wasn't sure.
That was when he spotted her. His eyes widened and a large, goofy grin spread across his maw. "Bella!"
--
Soft ears twitched as the lioness shifted herself around and smiled; that voice, oh how she adored that voice- she would never be able to forget who it belonged to! Her good friend, her best friend, one of the few she could truly say she loved; her Jachai. With a soft grin she moved herself to her paws and purred as he called out her name. Her lean frame seemed to bounce over to him as she called out. "Eeeee! Where have you been, boy!" She could hardly contain it. As soon as she reached him she headbutted him playfully and smiled wide. It was too good to be true.
--
His grin widened at her response and he happily bounded over to her. "I've missed you!" He chimed lowering his head to nuzzle her neck. She seemed so small! Or maybe he was just bigger since the last time they had seen each other. "I uh..." He paused unsure of how to tell her what he had been up to and where he had been. How would she feel when he told her he had spent his time with another female. Or even the more important fact. He was a father! "Er you see, I met this girl and there was this weird attraction and..." His voice trailed off and he whispered nearly inaudibly. "I'm a father..."
--
Bells was So happy to see him, that at first, when the words rolled out of his mouth she had not heard them, it took sometime for everything to settled before her face turned bright red; with wide eyes the female moved herself back in shock and gazed at him as if he had stabbed her in the heart. "Wha...." she tried to speak, unable to in the end. What.... why did he just say that to her? "Why are you doing this... what..."; was this some kind of JOKE? Her heart seemed to race as she moved back from him and frowned, still in shock and unaware of what to say or do.
--
"I know I know!" He told her a frown settling upon his maw as he started to panic. All of the happiness she had radiated only moments before had vanished! He felt terrible! "I couldn't really help it! I mean I fell in love, kinda sorta!" He said really quickly so that the words blurred together. "It's not like how I feel about you! I know I love you more than her. She knows that too!" He exclaimed starting to shift uncomfortably. "There was this really strong pull, attraction between us that I can't explain, it's like us only not as strong. I couldn't really deny it. I should have tried harder but! But!" He couldn't think of what he was trying to say. He was that flustered.
"We agreed that when we found our 'soulmates' we would part peacefully. There would be no hard feelings because we knew that we weren't perfect for each other!" He gushed out before beginning to pace. How had he gotten himself into that situation. "I'm sure you'll like her!" He paused shaking his head as his mind raced. "I'm sorry Bells, I'm so so sorry!"
--
"I don't even no what to say to you now." She sighed and turned. "It's not like i ran off and had kids with him while you were away, though now i feel as if i should give up on you all together." She felt so crushed. "You fell in-love with her so fast. I've only been gone a few weeks... and all of this happened? I just... I don't know." She sighed, it wasn't really fair of her to BE upset, she had picked another male over him before, but now that she was alone again this cut just seemed so deep, it hurt a lot more than it should have, that was for sure. "You are too young to be a father, and a single one at that!"
--
"Bella!" He called to her his tone desperate. He wanted to make this better. He didn't want her to hate him. "I'm sorry! I let my instincts take over, I couldn't help it. I know it's no excuse but I..." He shook his head sighing in defeat. "I know, I know. I was stupid and careless. But honestly I was always thinking of you." He admitted even though he knew it wouldn't make things better. There were several times when he wished it was Bella beside him and not her, of course he never told her that. He also knew the time spent with her wouldn't last anyway. If he had to chose between them it would be the lioness before him. It would always be her. He needed to make things better. He couldn't stand it if she hated him. If she turned back to him. The thought made him shudder. "She always knew I'd chose you, always and it never bothered her. It never bothered me to know that she'd leave me one day because honestly the only person I really care about is you!" He exclaimed all of his emotions just pouring out before him. He was so angry at himself, upset and frightened that he might lose her, worried that she would return to him.
"Please, please forgive me!" He begged dropping to his belly and looking at her with a pleading expression.
--
She sighed deeply and looked at her paws. "I'm could never hate you, you know that." As she spoke her ears went flat against her skull. "It just, I don't know, it hurts. A lot." Her tail curled as she turned and sat in front of him. "I just... I don't want to lose you again. I don't want to lose you... too."
--
"You can't lose me. You won't I promise." He replied instantly moving towards her again wanting to comfort her, wanting to make her feel better too. "Too? What do you mean?" He asked his brows knitting together as he pressed his nose against her cheek. He was happy, happier now that he knew he was forgiven. He would make it up to her, some how. He'd find a way. "Did something happen?"
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:23 pm
"I've lost everything I loved, and when i thought i'd lost you too, I just. I couldn't take it." She nodded slowly, gulping hard. "...How many are there?" She asked softly, she wanted to know, to understand what he was going to be dealing with. "What's it like...?" She asked another question right after, unaware of how something so... crazy and life changing happened to him so quickly.
--
He blinked not entirely sure what she was trying to explain. Had he left her? If the b*****d had upset her, again, there would be hell to pay. "Did he leave you?" He asked before she changed subjects. It would probably be a better thing to talk about. Maybe she would feel more comfortable with the situation. "Seven. They're with their mother now." He replied before regretting mentioning that Spade was with them. "It's crazy and they're definitely a handful but I love them all the same." He smiled fondly thinking about the pups. "Do you want to see them? They're sleeping now but.."
--
"Not now." She stammered and turned away. "It's... way to soon, you understand?" She had just found out, after all. "What made you love her?" Bells asked with a soft voice, as if it hurt her to even ask, but she felt she had to know. What was it that this female had that she didn't?
--
He nodded, "I understand. Later." He replied nuzzling her lightly before pulling away unsure if she didn't want him to touch her or not. "I...I'm not sure, there was this strange pull that brought us together. When we met there was just something there, something I'm not even sure of. I think my father once described it as...imprinting. Like love at first sight but it didn't feel right because even when I was speaking to her, flirting if you will, I kept thinking back to you. It didn't make sense. Because imprinting is supposed to be unconditional devotion and love and that wasn't it." He paused wrinkling his nose. "I felt as though I had to love her, as odd as that sounds. Not really like I wanted to. I just did." He shook his head confused by his own explanation. "But with you, I want to love you, I want to be by your side, to see you smile. To hear you laugh. I want you."
--
She kind of sat away from him as he moved back to give her space. this wasn't what she had wanted to happen, this couldn't be real; why did bad things always happened to her? With a deep sigh the lioness nodded at his words and look away. She hardly said anything for a long while, unaware of what to say, really. She would have cried if she saw them, she just knew it. "Maybe... you should go back. They need a father to be there, all the time, You have to be there, you have to. Don't leave them for me. Don't."
--
"But Bella..." He paused frowning, it wasn't like him to but he couldn't help it, it hurt him to see that he had hurt her so much. "I want you. I love them I do but...but I'd rather have you." He stated clearly with a firm nod. He'd work it out with Spades, she would understand, of course, they had already made plans should they have found their missing person. "Some of them can stay with me, and some can stay with their mother." He told her trying to find a way to make it work. He had just found her again! He'd be damned if he lost her now. "I'll visit, but I won't leave you. I refuse." He was being stubborn and he was going to stay that way. "I finally found you again Bells. Don't make me lose you."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:36 pm
"Whatever on earth possessed you to make this bold decision, I guess you didn't need me." She sighed. She needed him to go be a father, and if that meant being heartless to push him away she would. She stood up quickly and spoke again. "And but I guess you don't care."
--
"Bella stop!" He knew what she was trying to do. He wasn't going to let her. "I've already made plans with her, we've already decided what we would do when I found you again." He stated shaking his head, "Of course I care! Damnit if I didn't care I wouldn't feel this way!" He cried clenching his teeth together. "You think I'd feel so damn tortured for hurting you like I have if I didn't care? If I didn't need you?" He asked hurt by her words. He knew she was doing it to push him away to take care of the children that were his but...but..."You can help me, if you want, she has others that can help her, people she knows that could never turn her away. So please."
--
It's just not right! You messed everything up! Why, why did you have to do this to me!" Tears seemed to swell within her brown eyes as she gasped and snarled at him; her body no longer relaxed. She was never good at hiding how she really felt, and right now she was letting her sorrow and anger get the best of her-- and really it wasn't all him, there were other factors to her sorrow, but she wouldn't tell him, not ever. "You get away from me! Leave me alone!" As she yelled at him she bore her fangs and moved back, hissing. "You just go back to your life and leave me alone. Leave me alone."
--
He winced as her rather spiteful words were spat at him. Still he didn't move, he wouldn't. He had told her that she wouldn't lose him. "I'm sorry!" He shouted wanting to smack himself for making her cry. Why did he always do this to her? He either made her really happy or really sad! Couldn't he do anything right? He inhaled deeply. He was going to fix everything. He would make it better. He moved towards her pressing his frame against her, wrapping a paw around her back pulling her close to him. He didn't care if it upset her even more or if she fought back. He wasn't going to let go. "I can't leave you alone Bella." He stated softly pressing his maw into her neck. "I love you." He had said it a million and a half times but even so he had to say it. Some how he had to show her that she was the most important person to him.
--
"It's obvious that Jachai cares very deeply for you miss. Never once has he ever tried to comfort me in that way." A female's voice commented, her golden eyes fixed upon the pair. She had been in the area for a while but being the quiet, stealthy creature she was it had been like she hadn't been there. She was unsure if her presence would ease the tension or increase it. Regardless she had to try to fix the problem she obviously created.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:52 pm
"I don't want to do this right now. I'm leaving. Do not follow me, please. I'm not going to talk to you right now. I'm sorry, but this isn't the time or place." Bells was set on what she was going to do, and without any other words spoke she moved back and turned, dashing off as quickly as she could. She was.... so very confused.
--
"Bella!" Jachai called wanting to chase her down so much but he had to respect her wishes. He had done enough damage for one day. "Damnit!" He cursed loudly before hanging his head. Why did he always make such stupid mistakes! This was why she always returned to him. The thought of the leopard made him growl in disgust before he sunk to his belly. He would wait here, he'd give it a day before he started chasing her. He knew the direction she had run off to and hopefully she wouldn't make it too far and he hoped that the weather wouldn't wash away her scent.
"Jachai, are you not going to go after her?"
"No."
"...I'll take my leave then. Do what you need to. You know where to find us." She replied shaking her head. She sighed, obviously she had made a bad situation worse. She only wished to fix it. Then again it was his problem to deal with not hers. He would figure it out. While he made mistakes he always learned. He was smart, he would find a way. With those thoughts in mind she left him in the clearing.
"Bella..." He mumbled wondering if he had made the right choice, letting her run away. Should he have chased her? What would he have done? He probably would have gone after her. Even with that in mind he did nothing. He couldn't bring himself to. Not yet. She needed time to think, she couldn't do it with him right there. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
--
As soon as she was far out of sight the lioness slammed herself against a near by tree and cried out in pain, sobbing softly to herself. Nothing was what she wanted it to be, life was too hard right now. Confused and tired the lioness closed her eyes and tried to forget, even if only for tonight.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
