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 Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:17 am
Well, last night, I went and made an appointment with my Rabbi. We went into his office, and we sat on leather chairs. I remember this exactly because it was such a huge moment.
"So, Ms. Halifax, what brings you here today?" I twitched.
"You know Jacob right? Jacob Slade?" He nodded. "Well...I...he...well, only me I guess. I'm...pregnant." I looked away and closed my eyes.
"..." After he spewed a bit of Yiddish, he looked at me. "Jacob's child too?" I nodded. "Ah...I see. Have you told Eliasz?" I nodded. BTW, every question he asked I nodded. "Are you going to keep the child?"
"Yes."
"Ah....I see. You can leave now, Wynter..." and I left
Oy vey, I'm probably screwed.
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:30 am
Quick question. I understand why you'd tell your doctor you thought you were pregnant, so that she/he could test you and let you know for certain. I understand why you'd tell your boyfriend, who impregnated you, because it's his child too, and he might have some input, and he certainly has some responsibility in the situation. I understand telling your parents, since this will affect their lives as they live with you and will probably be seeing a pretty big impact on family finances.
I'm not yet understanding why you needed to tell your rabbi. He'd notice soon enough when you started to show. Did you need his input on what to do? No, you said you'd already decided to keep the baby. Was he the father? No, you already told us who the father was. Is your rabbi also your own father? No, or you'd have said "I think I need to tell my father, and for bonus fun, he's also my rabbi."
Basically you just wanted to give him a chance to judge you. Why?
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:42 am
Divash Basically you just wanted to give him a chance to judge you. Why? But he didn't did he? or if he did, he kept it to himself. The reason she told her rabbi is because A) The rabbi is a spiritual adviser and is supposed to be there for the congregation. A pregnancy is not an easy thing to go through, especially for a 16 year old. (I'm not speaking from experience, only from research.) Good rabbis do not judge you for your transgressions they only are there to guide you down the path of life and try to help you figure out what your role in the grand scheme of things. The other reason is B) we all kind of encouraged her, and I for one am very glad she told her rabbi. Who knows, maybe the rabbi will help the father take responsibility for what he conceived. Synagogues and Congregations are supposed to be there for support. Especially with the youngins. Telling him early isn't a bad thing. I mean, he's gonna find out eventually. Maybe she's not so screwed after all.
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 4:01 pm
First of all, you're expecting so Mazel Tov!!!
Secondly, 70- 90% of communication or so, as statistics vary, is noverbal so I couldn't say exactly how the conversation went without the undertones. Seemed to go fine, though.
EDIT: Oh, yeah, and I see nothing weird about seeking spiritual guidance from a rabbi at such a time.
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 4:16 pm
It was definitely the right move to make. If you are definitely keeping the child, Mazal Tov. biggrin
I agree with Neuf and Lummany on this one.
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:46 pm
Thanks a lot! A sheynem dank! Well, I've known my rabbi for all of my life, so he IS like a father to me.
Secondly, I ask my rabbi about a lot of things, he's good at giving me advice and helping me tell from right and wrong. I love him as I love my brothers. He's pretty much my family.
He's called me in again today, and he said that he was happy for me and that G-d does what He means to do, so the baby must have happened for a reason that only He knows, right?
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:56 pm
Most definately.
If you want Hebrew Names at some point, there's a thread where people say what the'rs are in the Community Shmooze (I think) which you can bookmark until it's time if it's not already.
EDIT: oh yeah, and what am I saying--There are thousands of books and tons of friendly sources of imformation like said Rabbi.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 5:59 am
silent_death_is_loud Thanks a lot! A sheynem dank! Well, I've known my rabbi for all of my life, so he IS like a father to me. Secondly, I ask my rabbi about a lot of things, he's good at giving me advice and helping me tell from right and wrong. I love him as I love my brothers. He's pretty much my family. He's called me in again today, and he said that he was happy for me and that G-d does what He means to do, so the baby must have happened for a reason that only He knows, right? That part was left out of the original post. The original post read something like "I told him, he didn't say anything useful." Now that we know that you weren't just saying something, but asking something, it does make sense. Now that we know he actually said useful things, it makes more sense yet. Good for you, for seeking advice from the wise people you know.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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darkphoenix1247 Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:31 am
silent_death_is_loud Thanks a lot! A sheynem dank! Well, I've known my rabbi for all of my life, so he IS like a father to me. Secondly, I ask my rabbi about a lot of things, he's good at giving me advice and helping me tell from right and wrong. I love him as I love my brothers. He's pretty much my family. He's called me in again today, and he said that he was happy for me and that G-d does what He means to do, so the baby must have happened for a reason that only He knows, right? I vote Shana! *snickers* But please, whatever you do, not Shlomo. That's just cruel. blaugh
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:04 am
Lol, my little brothers were in their room thinking up names and giggling over Shlomo...They even made up names.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:06 am
Please... PLEASE not Moyshe. Or any other varient that sounds like an 80-year-old decrepid man.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:17 am
I haven't thought about Hebrew names yet...O.o
Well, I certainly won't be naming he/she Moyshe.
This can turn into a naming thing or something! biggrin
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:38 am
Peretz? Or is Paul to old a name?
Mark is Mordicy.
Adam is... Adam...
And any of the prophets, lesser or otherwise, are good.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:39 am
It is customary to name a baby either with the same name as a deceased relative or with a name strating with the same letter as the name of a deceased relative, I think.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:51 am
Well that works out in my case. I would avoid the name Reuben. It means: "To replace a lost child".
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