Taken from: http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/Relationships/NEWContentPosting_TheSoko?newsitemid=thesoko-2201&feedname=THESOKO_V2&show=False&number=5&showbyline=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc&date=False


Breaking up is a hard thing to do, but unfortunately 99 per cent of us go through it at some point or another in our lives. Everyone has their individual breakup style and each breakup style may be dictated by the relationship, but there definitely are certain basics that do not change across all situations. There’s a courtesy aspect of it and then there’s just a plain good manners aspect. Here are some tips to make the process easier on yourself and the other person.


Pick the Right Place

There’s a time and place for everything and breaking up is no exception. The less public the place is, the better it is. Being on the receiving end of a breakup is not easy and can be downright humiliating. Because of this, make sure you do it in a place where the other person does not feel any more vulnerable and fragile than they already will be after the breakup. Do it in an environment where you both feel comfortable. It’s best to choose a neutral spot, so probably your home or your partner’s home is not ideal, since one or both of you may feel territorial at some point during the big talk.


Pick the Right Time

Timing is everything. Holidays definitely aren’t the right time to break up with someone, no matter what! Try your best to avoid doing it on holidays and special occasions, like anniversaries or birthdays. You don’t want your ex remembering or dwelling on the event whenever that time of year comes around.


Do it in Person

Don’t chicken out, do the breaking up in person. Skip the phone, avoid emails and definitely don’t do it through instant messenger or texting. It’s impolite and definitely not classy. Give the other person the consideration they deserve (unless they honestly don’t deserve it!) and meet up somewhere to talk about it. It’ll make you feel better about yourself, but it will also show that you are a good person.


Keep Your Emotions in Check

One important rule is to keep your emotions in check. This doesn’t mean being stone-faced, but don’t freak out either, especially in response to something the other person has said. Keep in mind that they may be especially defensive and sensitive during the breakup and may overreact. Just make sure you don’t, or else it probably won’t turn out very well. Of course, don’t be too relaxed about the breakup or else you’ll come off as insensitive and inconsiderate.


Be Honest

Don’t sugar coat the reasons why you’re breaking up. Be honest with him or her, because they deserve at least that from you, but also be tactful and considerate. Their feelings are on the line here and you don’t want to do more damage than necessary. No one likes to be dumped, so keep that in mind. He or she will appreciate you for your honestly if you are tactful about it.


Avoid Clichés

You’ll only sound insensitive and even mean-spirited if you resort to clichés. For example, never say, “It’s not you, it’s me,” even if that is the case. Put it in a way that makes it sound like you mean what you’re saying.

Be eloquent about what you’re trying to convey. If you mean to say that the person just doesn’t do it for you anymore (something that can be expressed with the, “It’s not you, it’s me” line) don’t say either of those things! Try something that is a little more tactful, but that still conveys the same meaning. Say something along the lines of that your tastes have changed and what you are looking for in a significant other isn’t what it used to be.


It’s important to remember that breaking up with someone isn’t easy, but it’s just as hard, if not harder, on the person you’re dumping. So, the philosophy is simple: do unto others as you would have them do unto yourself. Don’t treat someone in a way you wouldn’t want to be treated in the same situation.