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 Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 11:03 am
This is a follow up to my thread "Oh, so you DIDN'T use protection?" Yesterday, I was on my way to Costco with my mom, we got to talking about Obama and his views on certain things like partial birth abortion. I also brought up birth control and said to my mom, "Did you know that you could still get pregnant, even if you're on the pill or using a condom?"
Well, she looks at me in total disbelief, and I'll all, "What?" Mom then goes on saying that she didn't think that was true, because the pill only had a failure rate of .2% or something. I then told her that condoms can break, and she said that was true. When I mentioned that it was not a good idea to wear more than one condom, she seemed to buy that.
But back to the birth control, my mom said that she didn't feel an ounce of sympathy for teens who wound up pregnant. When I asked her why, she said, "Because they could say that they used protection, when they really didn't."
Ok, that could be true, but...
my response, "Well, I don't think it's fair to make that assumption because number one: contraception can fail and number two: we don't know what went on before that teenager or that young 20 year old or whatever got pregnant on accident."
I don't know why, but it seems as if my mom thinks that if you have sex and get pregnant, it means you weren't using protection. I tried telling her this wasn't true, because you could still be using contraception, and it could still fail. But, even after our conversation, she still didn't seem to believe it.
What do you guys think?
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 8:10 pm
THANK YOU for mentioning that twentysomethings can get pregnant on accident too! It's like there's this magical line where suddenly you're assumed to not be an ignorant slut anymore. And I use that phrase because I seriously think that's how people feel about teens sometimes.
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 2:36 am
If they are ignorant it's not really their fault because it's up to adults and teachers and other people to give them good information on how to protect themselves. I love The Midwest Teen Sex Show. Whenever I see a teen asking a question on a message board I refer them to that. Especially their bit on birth control where Nicole says that she personally thinks every girl over the age of 8 should be on the pill and I agree to an extent. I would advise it but obviously not force it. And yes it has side effects but like Nicole says so does pregnancy.
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 9:18 am
PhaedraMcSpiffy THANK YOU for mentioning that twentysomethings can get pregnant on accident too! It's like there's this magical line where suddenly you're assumed to not be an ignorant slut anymore. And I use that phrase because I seriously think that's how people feel about teens sometimes.
I think what people realize that you can accidentally get pregnant, whether you're a tteenager, a full grown woman of 25, 36, 43...
Another thing, I have also noticed that feeling people have towards teens. Since teens do have a tendency to do stupid things and make careless mistakes, I can understand, but at the same time...not to much.
Here's why: Just because one teen was careless, doesn't mean another one was or will be.
Another thing, a lot of the adults where I live, or more like who I have seen, the one's who view teens that way, practically see themselves as perfect.
People make mistakes. I've known a few teenagers who had sex, and they were all using protection and they still got pregnant.
Fact of the matter is, a woman anywhere in the age groups I mentioned can end up with an accidental pregnancy. Why blame teens when it can happen to any woman at almost any age?
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 9:23 am
LadyInWhite If they are ignorant it's not really their fault because it's up to adults and teachers and other people to give them good information on how to protect themselves. I love The Midwest Teen Sex Show. Whenever I see a teen asking a question on a message board I refer them to that. Especially their bit on birth control where Nicole says that she personally thinks every girl over the age of 8 should be on the pill and I agree to an extent. I would advise it but obviously not force it. And yes it has side effects but like Nicole says so does pregnancy.
Oh I know it's not their fault. The only thing that really gets me is this:'
Since this thread was about my mom's ignorance, I'll use that. Her ignorance bugs me, yes. But what REALLY gets me is how she almost doesn't want to see the other side, look at statistics, read up on facts. For example, for me to get her to read up on something, so she knows both sides, I practically have to (metaphorically speaking) "shove" it in her face.
Actually, I just print out what I'd like her to see and show it to her.
I also think it could have something to do with the way she was raised.
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:44 am
But just because someone's educated doesn't mean they're going to take the reasonable path and use that education wisely.
The first teen mom I met got pregnant on purpose to keep her boyfriend from leaving her (abusive relationship much?) and by the time I met her, she'd already had her second child with him, while still a teenager. She had gone to the same school I did and so I can easily suppose she had the same sex ed as I did, which was pretty comprehensive in prevention. So she knew the methods of prevention but purposefully didn't use them.
I guess to sum it up, what I'm trying to say is not all teen pregnancies are accidents and/or the result of ignorance.
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 8:09 pm
The failure rate of the pill is actually a LOT higher than 0.2%.
The pill, patch and ring have a standard effective rate of 92%. With perfect use they can be 99.7% effective.
People just don't know this stuff. I think people who even use these forms of birth control don't know it.
Education. We need it.
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:08 pm
Nayva B ut just because someone's educated doesn't mean they're going to take the reasonable path and use that education wisely.
The first teen mom I met got pregnant on purpose to keep her boyfriend from leaving her (abusive relationship much?) and by the time I met her, she'd already had her second child with him, while still a teenager. She had gone to the same school I did and so I can easily suppose she had the same sex ed as I did, which was pretty comprehensive in prevention. So she knew the methods of prevention but purposefully didn't use them.
I guess to sum it up, what I'm trying to say is not all teen pregnancies are accidents and/or the result of ignorance.
That is true. The main message I was trying to give to my mom is that I don't think it's fair to automatically assume that a girl wasn't using protection because we don't know what happened. Any number of thigns could have happened.
But the whole getting pregnant on purpose to trap somebody is also something to think about.
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Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 3:51 am
Xxartistic_illusionXx LadyInWhite If they are ignorant it's not really their fault because it's up to adults and teachers and other people to give them good information on how to protect themselves. I love The Midwest Teen Sex Show. Whenever I see a teen asking a question on a message board I refer them to that. Especially their bit on birth control where Nicole says that she personally thinks every girl over the age of 8 should be on the pill and I agree to an extent. I would advise it but obviously not force it. And yes it has side effects but like Nicole says so does pregnancy. Oh I know it's not their fault. The only thing that really gets me is this:' Since this thread was about my mom's ignorance, I'll use that. Her ignorance bugs me, yes. But what REALLY gets me is how she almost doesn't want to see the other side, look at statistics, read up on facts. For example, for me to get her to read up on something, so she knows both sides, I practically have to (metaphorically speaking) "shove" it in her face. Actually, I just print out what I'd like her to see and show it to her. I also think it could have something to do with the way she was raised. Ignorance is hard to fight because usually the ignorant choose to stay that way, like your mom. I'd just keep shoving it in her face or leave it somewhere where you know she will pick up on it. It's always sad when people choose not to educate themselves. First time I heard about AIDS I promised myself that I would find out everything I can about STDs and how NOT to get them etc. I've been really good about it even going sofar as to demand blood tests from anyone I'm going to sleep with.
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Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 11:56 am
LadyInWhite Xxartistic_illusionXx LadyInWhite If they are ignorant it's not really their fault because it's up to adults and teachers and other people to give them good information on how to protect themselves. I love The Midwest Teen Sex Show. Whenever I see a teen asking a question on a message board I refer them to that. Especially their bit on birth control where Nicole says that she personally thinks every girl over the age of 8 should be on the pill and I agree to an extent. I would advise it but obviously not force it. And yes it has side effects but like Nicole says so does pregnancy. Oh I know it's not their fault. The only thing that really gets me is this:' Since this thread was about my mom's ignorance, I'll use that. Her ignorance bugs me, yes. But what REALLY gets me is how she almost doesn't want to see the other side, look at statistics, read up on facts. For example, for me to get her to read up on something, so she knows both sides, I practically have to (metaphorically speaking) "shove" it in her face. Actually, I just print out what I'd like her to see and show it to her. I also think it could have something to do with the way she was raised. Ignorance is hard to fight because usually the ignorant choose to stay that way, like your mom. I'd just keep shoving it in her face or leave it somewhere where you know she will pick up on it. It's always sad when people choose not to educate themselves. First time I heard about AIDS I promised myself that I would find out everything I can about STDs and how NOT to get them etc. I've been really good about it even going sofar as to demand blood tests from anyone I'm going to sleep with.
Oh I agree. My mom can be open minded when she wants to be, but it's like going through a brick wall.
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:13 pm
LadyInWhite ...Especially their bit on birth control where Nicole says that she personally thinks every girl over the age of 8 should be on the pill and I agree to an extent. I would advise it but obviously not force it. I'd like to know her justification for that. Could you explain it (videos don't really work on the dial-up that I have). It seems a little illogical and excessive to me.
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 5:39 am
PhaedraMcSpiffy LadyInWhite ...Especially their bit on birth control where Nicole says that she personally thinks every girl over the age of 8 should be on the pill and I agree to an extent. I would advise it but obviously not force it. I'd like to know her justification for that. Could you explain it (videos don't really work on the dial-up that I have). It seems a little illogical and excessive to me. Quoting that bit: Quote:
This is the Midwest Teen Sex Show and I'm Nicole and this week we are talking about Birth Control. We know there are a lot of you still out there having unprotected sex so stop it. Have you ever seen a baby? They are ******** stupid. They don't know anything and you have to feed them at least once a day. Let's prevent babies!
One highly effective form of birth control is the pill. Personally I think every girl over the age of 8 should be on the pill. If your old enough to bleed your old enough to be a statistic. And it may have side-effects but so does pregnancy.
Then she moves onto other things like Depo provera, Norplant and Pull & Pray, Condoms etc.
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:30 pm
One of the problems with birth control is the fact that human beings often do not take it as prescribed. Many people take the pill any time during the day (instead of at the SAME time every day as directed) and some people forget and then "double up" the next day, which lowers effectiveness. Let's not forget that certain medications (including over the counter medications that most people don't read the warning labels to) can lower the effectiveness of hormonal birth control up to 50%!
And as for condoms, many people do not understand how to properly store them. Many are kept in a wallet or in a back pocket for weeks (bad for the latex, because the heat of your body and pressure of sitting on it can cause it to break down and be more likely to fail), and many people do stuff like put condoms in the fridge (too cold can cause problems and increase failure as well). You also have people who buy the big Costco box 'o' condoms and then use them for years and years. Many condoms have a "sell by" date where they become less effective. Many people do not pay attention to this, because they want to get their money's worth.
There are many reasons that birth control can fail without anyone doing anything WILLFULLY negligent. It's about the same level of "fault" as someone who doesn't change their oil for awhile longer than they should have, or someone who forgets to get gas and runs on empty. Sometimes these things happen. Sometimes we make mistakes. We should not be forced to be given the responsibility of growing and nurturing a new human being if we're not up to the task.
It sickens me that the wonderful feelings that I get from feeling the baby move inside of me are being used for a punishment for other women.
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:57 pm
Beautifully said, Oni.
Honestly though, about the birth control for 8-year-olds thing... I really don't agree and I still don't see much of a justification. When I was 8 I wasn't menstruating yet (it was 11 for me) and I sure as hell knew I didn't want to have sex. I don't think that someone should be forced or pressured to take medication that they don't want or need.
That segment comes across as kind of tacky and insulting.
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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 7:28 am
it wasn't till 10 for me. I can see where she was going with that idea though, and that's nice. I'm not exactly sure what percentage of young girls are molested that way, though..certainly not enough to sanction a blanket percription of birth control pills to 8-10 year olds. O_o
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