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 Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:23 am
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:25 am
Q. Do you know the true reason for all of these blonde jokes?
A. Brunettes and redheads think they look smart making them all up!
Q. What do you call a brunette between two blondes???
A. LUCKY! (She finally gets some attention!)
Q. What's black and blue and lying in a ditch?
A. A Redhead who has told one too many dumb blonde jokes.
Q. What does a redhead miss the most at a party?
A. The Invitation !
Q. Why are there so many blonde jokes?
A. Because the blondes are out with all the men, the brunettes and redheads have nothing better to do on Friday and Saturday nights.
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:26 am
SMART BLONDE JOKE
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks andNeeds to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Finally... a smart blonde joke.
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:27 am
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
departed...
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:28 am
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store.
The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stopped to rest for a second.
When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:29 am
This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.
She stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...'
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:30 am
OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his a**, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his a**, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road.
The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it.
The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:31 am
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 7:56 am
A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to
kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park,
grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this
note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I
need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the
big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde".
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him
to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park
to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just
as she had instructed.
Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I
cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 9:32 pm
Q: How can you tell a blonde's confused?
A: She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q: How do you know you've found the perfect blonde?
A: She fits between you and the steering wheel.
Q: What do you call three dead blondes at the bottom of a pool?
A: Air Pocket
Q: What do you call three blondes standing in a row?
A: Wind tunnel.
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:59 am
Wow these are all really funny... I liked the 'Step out of Circle' and the 'Air Freshener Tree' the best! rofl
I've got another one I read on a sign on someone's profile...
Brunette: I was listening to Eminem last night.
Blonde: You were listening to CANDY?!
XP
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:42 am
I thought all of them were funny. XD And I thought the Tampon and pencil one was hilarious. But so wrong at the same time.
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Posted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 5:53 pm
how do you confuse a blonde?? you put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner...
what do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?? RUN LIKE HECK! SHES GOT A GRENADE! lol
why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? she threw away all the W's...lol
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Posted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 3:26 am
Three Blondes walk into a bar, for fourth one ducks.
A blonde is sitting in a canoe in the a middle of a field. Another blonde comes along and says, "Hey, you give us blondes a bad name doing stuff like this!" The first blonde says, "What else am I supposed to do? I can't swim!" The second blonde says, "Neither can I, why else would I be on this kayak?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 11:02 pm
I'm a blonde gonk but you got to say these jokes are confusing and funny here is one
there was a red head Brunette and a blonde,they were stranded on a island and the city was 10 miles away so the redhead tried and only swam 5 miles and drowned the Brunettes tried and swam 7 miles and drowned the blonde swam 5 miles and said "I'm tired" and swan back to the stranded island.
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Reply
