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 Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 10:19 pm
The mare who continuously stayed there was kind and helpful. But Azn liked her because she was usually quiet, never asking too many questions about Azn. During her stay at the teepee, she had remained silent, dwelling mostly about the baskets and what would soon pop out of them. She had been dreading it somewhat, never having to care for a foal before. What if the foals disliked her? What if they were absolutely difficult to care for? Motherhood was a definite challenge already, and the foals hadn't even come out of the baskets yet.
After a few days of this, Azn went back to that stallion and to their baskets. Lucky for her....or was it so lucky......the baskets remained as they were when she had left. But one autumn evening, they came out. Three colts, who soon after were named: Lex, Taigi, and Nikolai. She had trouble then. She tried to be a good mother, though her heart longed to head off again. Azn knew she had to stay, until they reached young adulthood, it was the least she could do. But she couldn't, she just couldn't.
However, the stallion....Lucky he was okay with her leaving. She found it odd, she had expected that he would want her to stay with their foals. It surprised her but she left anyway. It was wrong, other mothers would most likely frown upon her but, she needed to go and do what she must do. She went and traveled to a new location, running away from her troubles, how weak she truly was. She traveled and traveled, never staying too long in one place. It was just what she did.
One day, she decided it was time to go back, to check and see how Lucky and most of all, how the foals were doing. That was what she was doing now, heading in the direction of their home. She was nearing closer and closer with every step and admittedly her stomach churned with...nerves? She supposed that made sense, she didn't know what to expect when she got back to the home. Would the foals hate her for leaving them? Leaving them, in their time of need. This was a period in their lives that was so important and she deserted them. She deserved no forgiveness from them but she did hope they could be amicable amongst each other. For the time being, at least.
Passing more trees, Azn began to slow down. Cloven hooves dragging along the grass, her head down, she wasn't paying too much attention where she was going exactly but Azn knew this direction was right, she just knew. Her mist clung to her, billowing behind her in certain areas. What to say, what to do. What were they like now? She wondered.
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 8:29 pm
 The young unicorn's cloven hooves dragged along the familiar forest floor. It was all so boring, bland, and commonplace to boot. But above those things, it was quiet. Not in the literal sense, of course, the twigs snapping beneath him blent well with the usual rustle of leaves and faraway chatter of other creatures, the birds' echoing cries. There was no excitement, however, and this frustrated Taigi.
He knew his homeland well, having dedicated his time to exploring every inch of it. And though he was perfectly able of doing so, he never took interest in playing around with his two siblings. Rather, he took to slinking away to find out more about the fascinating world around him. He wanted to know anything and everything, and was even lucky enough to encounter a series of good-natured others; Some wanderers passing through, others also residents of the wondrous forest.
Living with his father and brothers alone had little to no influence on the colt, so scarce was their presence in his goings-about. Not that they were completely obscured from his daily life, their being was vital to the foal's bringing up. Tai found himself far more interested on the subject of his mother, though. To him, she was an unattainable, free spirit who came and went as she pleased. She was everything he ever wanted to be and more, even though he could barely recall her appearance.
As he went along on his way, he pondered upon this topic. It occupied his mind and left his legs room to wander, which was a factor that lead him to love adventuring in the first place. Perhaps he was taking to his mother's side, even though it seemed impossible as the rest of his family left barely any imprint on his personality, how could she?
Taigi nearly fell over his hooves when his nose caught a whiff of something new. Someone new and strange was around, but at the same time, welcoming and familiar. Mystified, the colt let his senses lead him towards the novel entity. As he neared, he could make out a sleek but at the same time misty black coat and the gorgeous, known form of a unicorn. He continued on cautiously from that point, black wasn't always a friendly color, even though it was one of his family. When he finally came close enough so that only thin air separated him from the other, however, he froze, his green eyes widening in shock and awe.
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 7:46 pm
It was close now. Too close. She paused her walking, standing there with trees surrounding her and a breeze rustling her hair and mist like material. Again, thoughts swarmed her, like a mass of insects.
Her ears perked up, catching the slightest of sounds of something nearing her. Rising her head, she turned it this way and that, searching for the location of the noise with her pale gray eyes. Seeing nothing, Azn frowned. She knew there was something out there but she couldn't locate it. Was it because her mind was elsewhere and so her concentration was broken? Or was the noise-maker the type to blend in with its surroundings. It wasn't that light out, almost the time when the sun would set.
Closer and closer the sounds came. There were options to this, she could continue on her way and ignore the sounds or she could remain where she was and let the noises come to her, perhaps the encounter would calm her enough in preparation of seeing her foals again. Azn chose the latter, she need the extra time to think more before reaching her destination.
She turned away from the noise, instead she took the time to look up at the sky, take in the forest surroundings, and listen to the noises of the forest and the other sounds that came nearer and nearer to her. She sniffed, taking in the smell of familiarity. She knew this one? Impossible. Unless.....she tensed, feeling the presence of the other at last. It was near her, too near. If she turned, she would be face to face with it. She turned.
Breathing was needed. She let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, and took in more breaths of air. Luck was never on her side, it seemed, for the distraction she had been hoping for came in the form of one of her sons. How ironic. Azn observed him, he looked like her in many ways but with differences. Green eyes, no mist, but indeed he was the one who looked most like her. Taigi.
Her heart beat fast, she was tense still and yet this feeling that filled her....what was it? It confused her and confusion was a feeling that she didn't like. Not understanding, not knowing, she would rather know instead of not know. Longing, was that it? True, she wanted to say something to him, anything, that would let him know who she was and yet, she was reluctant to speak.
She continued to stare at him, waiting. Was her other two sons with Taigi? Lex and Nikolai? The eldest and the youngest? It did not seem as if they were. Where was Lucky? As a father, he shouldn't leave them be, like she did, but perhaps he was preoccupied with the other two and Taigi slipped off? He could of gotten hurt or lost...and why did she care so much? There was that confusion again, these feelings that she was feeling didn't make sense to her as she had never felt them before.
"Where are your parents?" Wait. That was her voice.
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 12:43 am
The only thing he could hear was the pulsation throbbing in his head. It wasn't possible, was it? His eyes stung and an unfamiliar emotion wound it's grotesque, thin, cold hand about his chest, making every breath sting as well as the tears that would never come. He might've let out a gasp somewhere along his "pause", not that he'd noticed.
She was beautiful, his mother. Everything he'd hoped of her and more. And he looked like her. For a moment, he swelled with pride in realization of that truth. He resembled her most. Not Lex, even though his older brother inherited the same graceful Unicorn traits as he. Not Nikolai, though his younger brother attained the same swirls of mist that never left, even though Nik's were in bloody shades of red. Not to mention the fact that both of his brothers received her clear, gray-white eyes.
But Taigi hadn't a single slash of the crimson coloring that both of his brothers got from their father. And he bore his mother's wisps of smoke upon his back, as he did the invisible but potent burden of her "permanent" departure.
Permanent wouldn't apply here, not anymore. Because she hadn't disappeared by now. She wasn't a dream or a hallucination. She stood before him on four solid cloven hooves, black as his own have always been. Her black hair, bearing white streaks as his did and wispy as the fog around her, was shifted by the wind every now and then.
Yet something held the colt back from coming closer to her. It was neither sorrow or fear, not resentment or withdrawal. Rather, even though he confirmed his sanity and her solid presence, he felt that the very mist surrounding her would wrap around her and drag her away from him. Once more and forever.
Though he had so many questions for her. Where have you been? A question that kept swirling around his mind now, never ceasing. It wasn't harsh or disbelieving, it was pure curiosity. Taigi wanted to know where his mother had traveled, what she'd seen and experienced, who she'd met. He wasn't at all concerned about her leaving them when they were much younger with naught but their father and his side of the family to care for them and teach them.
Then she spoke. To him. Her voice took his as it was used. The moisture from the foal's throat seemed to evaporate and he was left gaping. It was a beautiful voice to him, one that would, when spoken in his "imaginary world" would make dead flowers bloom and water the wilted grass. But her question. That filled him with sorrow. Where are my parents?
"Mother..."
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 3:54 pm
Her son seemed stunned by the sight of her. Did he recognize her? No, he couldn't. It had been a long time since she had seen them last, she was sure that her appearance had been forgotten. But the way he was looking at her, it made her wonder. Though their appearances were similar, Azn could not fathom that he would instantly connect her appearance to his own. But perhaps she was recognizable to him, and he realized that she was his mother. The mother who left.
She grew more nervous with each passing second, what to do, what to say. Did he know who she was or no? Hearing Taigi say that word, 'mother' caused Azn to freeze. He knew. He must of known all along.
"And you are correct," She slowly spoke, trying to keep her nerves out of her voice. She stumbled over the first word and her voice was a little shaky but overall it seemed to work. "that I am your mother." Mother, how strange that word was to her. Never did she get a chance to use it on her mother and whenever she had heard another use that word, she tried her best to ignore it, ignore the longing she felt with it. And now, she would hear it all the time, by her children.
Azn had thought it best to admit that she was his mother, no use in lying and giving one of her son's another reason to dislike their mother. But then, there was still the way Taigi looked at her that unsettled her. It seemed to her that he cared about her or admired her though how could he ever admire someone like her?
"Child, why are you out so late? Shouldn't you be with Lucky....I mean, your father, and your brothers?" It may not be dark yet nor had the sun set completely but a foal should still be with his or her family around this time, yes? Azn expected that her thoughts should be correct because there were many dangers about and usually more danger could be found at night than during the day. But was this a mother's instinct to worry about him or was her words just words? Something to be said so that the meeting wouldn't feel as awkward? She did feel strange, unsure mostly.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:55 am
So she was his mother. But he knew that already. Yet in her eyes, misty as the morning's dew before it settled, there was doubt. She knew as well, that he was her son, yet Taigi felt like she didn't want it to be true.
And why not think that? When he thought about it, Taigi realized that he must've been quite a sight just then, his mouth hanging open dumbly and his eyes wide and astonished. What was he before her? Before his magnificent, elegant and lovely mother.
Did she love him?
That thought, unfortunately, was one thought too many. His head involuntarily flooded with the many things he never considered; The question "Where have you been?" nearly slipped his tongue, and it wasn't going to be asked quite the way he'd have liked it to. If at first he wanted to know about her adventures, he now wanted to know her intentions. What was she doing? Coming back just so she could "wave" hello and disappear into the fog? His brotherly sense kicked in as well, he wasn't going to let her hurt his brothers.
Looking at her from afar was tempting, though. She was a traveler, a wanderer: something that he hoped to make his own hobby of sorts some day. It was unfair to bash her like this, and Taigi would give her that much. He couldn't help his heart fluttering away once more when she told him that he was correct, nor when she reflected the word 'mother' on herself, using it in the same sentence as 'your' when talking to him.
He felt invisible tears well up and burn his eyes, tears that he would never shed physically. A wilted smile crept upon his face when she asked him what he was doing out so late, "I'm always out this late, mother... All adventures begin somewhere; for me it's this forest... I want to see the world, too, just like you..."
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Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 7:26 pm
Taigi was quiet. Azn had expected outbursts, a flood of questions to come down upon her. But he wasn’t questioning her. It was a relief. She wouldn’t of known what to say that wouldn’t hurt him. Hurt him more. Unless he was never hurt by her decisions. But that would of been impossible.
Lucky raised them, at least Taigi, well. Azn could see that Taigi would be a good son, pleasant to have around. He seemed like a nice colt. She wondered how Lex and Nikolai were like. It was hard to remember, they had been so young. Very likely their personalities weren't as developed then.
Her insides squirmed at the sight of his smile. It was not remotely happy. Drooping, downturned at the corners. Wilted.
Guilt. She was experiencing guilt at seeing Taigi like this. It wasn’t right. He should be happy, full of laughter. Not like this. But he may be a happy colt. Before she came. That saddened her. Azn was unsure of these feelings, she was reluctant to reflect her emotions. Was he better off without her? Were Lex and Nikolai better off without her as well?
Yes.
The word yes may be the suitable response, yet Azn did not want it to be true. It killed her inside, strangely, to hear her inner voice say yes. When her outer voice wanted to say no.
“No.” Realizing that she had spoken aloud, she blinked. “Though you may enjoy exploring it still is never a good idea to wander out late. Especially when you’re still so young, Taigi.” She covered up her mistake, the best she could. “What would your father say if he knew you were out here when it’s almost night?” Why was she being like this? It wasn't her place to lecture him. Even if he was her son. It was Lucky's place, not her's because she was always away. Right?
His boldness and his liking of traveling of the world was comforting. To know that one of her sons was up to exploring and seeing the world inwardly pleased her. But she would never say that aloud.
She shook her head, conflicted again. It was best to begin moving forward. "Come along Taigi, we must move toward your home." Azn's head turned toward the sky, the sun was setting quickly. The sky was vivid with the colours of the sunset. She always appreciated sunsets, there was something appealing about them.
She started walking off without another glance at Taigi, she expected he would follow. "Forests can be a good start." She supposed it was fine to give an opinion on that? Usually she would withhold her opinions to herself but seeing as Taigi enjoyed traveling as she did, Azn felt it would be okay to let him know what she thought. Even if she still felt he shouldn't be out so late.
"There is numerous things to do in the forest after all, though I am sure you know that already. Am I right?" She questioned. Azn looked over her shoulder, her pale gray eyes looking to see if Taigi was following or not.
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Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 9:18 am
His own insides were screeching, squealing the word "no". This was his mother. Even though she left him and his family to travel, she was his mother.
This moment had to end. She had already begun her flowing walk in the direction where Lucky, Lex and Nik would be located. She would talk to them briefly, but what if his father drove her out and away? He didn't know Lucky's true opinion of Azn, and therefore he had to leave open the option that he would explode on her and possibly harm her.
His beautiful mother.
And then she would be gone once more. Gone like the wind, never coming back. If this meeting resulted in a fight, he wouldn't blame her for resenting the mere thought of coming back. And he wouldn't have it. So this moment had to end.
Taigi had to find a way to distract her, perhaps. Get her to tell at least a single story, sing at least one note, maybe sorrowful. Because in his heart, he longed to reach out and feel the touch of her muzzle. He wanted to know what the coat of a traveler would feel like, what stories he'd hear from a single touch. He needed her to stay a while. He needed to stay with her.
She was talking, and he loved the sound of her voice. Like music. He wasn't so much listening to the context as the pure sound, slightly echoing through the still and shadowy forest. He caught a few comments that made him proud of his choice to become an explorer, but his mind was busy conjuring up something they could do.
"Mother, won't you take me with you?" His eyes were wide and inquisitive, head tilted a little, blinking at even intervals, and cloven hooves planted into the ground where he stood. She must take him with her. She must.
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Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:14 pm
She tilted her head, watching him. "Taigi?" She asked, unsure. To her it looked like he was thinking hard but she wanted to get to his home, sooner the better. The sounds of noise of the home, with Lex and Nikolai and Lucky. The questions may come pelting down upon her but Azn felt she could handle it. Well, handle it better than she had first thought initially. But maybe it'll be difficult, once she did arrive in their home.
What was Taigi's home like, again? It had been a long time since she had last seen the place. It was in the forest, in a nice clearing with trees all around. It did feel constraining sometimes, with the trees. Like they were closing in on her. She shivered, involuntarily. Azn did not like to feel trapped, it caused her to worry and panic. Worry did occur inside but panic, pure panic, it made her remember unpleasant things. She shook her head, no need to dwell on that now.
"Taigi?" She repeated again. "Will you not join me? Lead me to your home?" Was that all right? In a past travel Azn had come across a mare with her foal, the foal had insisted on leading his/her mother. That was a long time ago, so long she could not recall whether the foal was male or female. It was strange how that memory came to mind now but maybe not so strange. She did have foals of her own now, were they the type to lead? Or did they prefer to follow? There was so much she didn't know. It caused her stomach to do flip-flops.
"What?" Stunned, Azn let the single word out breathlessly. She stepped back, unsure. "Why do you ask me that, Taigi?" She bit out. Closing her pale gray eyes, Azn flinched inside. She hadn't meant for her words to come out so harsh but he took her by surprise. But was that really an excuse for her to snap?
"I am sorry." Shaking her head. "Forgive my harsh response." She turned her head to the side, her eyes opening slightly. How was she to approach this?
Azn sighed. She was reluctant to crush his hopes. But she must. Her eyes reached out to Taigi.
"You must know I cannot take you." Pausing, she took a deep breath. "It is for your well-being."
"Please understand." She couldn't say anymore, it hurt too much. If he had been older, would her answer be different? No. Azn could not take him, her life as a traveler was best to be done alone. It was safer, for both her and them.
She turned away, walking slowly towards the home. "Come along Taigi." Her voice cracked. Gulping, Azn sucked in more breaths of air. Her chest was tight and her heart was beating rapidly. Her head pounded with hundreds of swirling thoughts.
The last time she experienced these feelings.....well she struggled not to remember it. Azn preferred keeping her emotions to herself and ever so slowly, the more time she spent with Taigi, her choices were being chipped away. She would not allow that to happen, not even for her son. It took work, building up her walls. She didn't want to have to build them up again.
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:31 pm
Azn's words were like a spear through Taigi's heart. He staggered back two steps, invisible tears stinging his eyes, shaking his short mane with reluctance to accept her harsh declination. He felt a touch of anger, the caress of sorrow, and a misfit dose of adoration.
Of course. She was free. Unlike him.
With the wind seemingly knocked out of him by his mother's verbal lash, he merely stood there with his lower lip quivering ever so slightly. But then she apologized and he felt an instant relief. As if she healed him with the power that all Unicorns possessed in one amount or another. But she couldn't heal everything. He knew that, as apparently did she.
"must know I cannot take you." Why not? He'd be strong for her. He'd suck it up and force himself forward. And he would grow, his legs would gain strength and the gods would grant him the ability to fly without wings. It wouldn't take that long..
If only he could age faster. To be able to match his mother's strength, perhaps even overshadow it and be able to protect her in a troubling time, there was nothing he wouldn't give up for that at this precise moment.
But nothing worked like that, unfortunately. He would have to live and grow. Without her. And with this next realization, he felt a deep pain in his heart like none before. As if a cuckoo's mother made room for her eggs by pushing out those of an eagle's; it was like his heart was that eagle egg she'd pushed out to make room for her own. His heart was the eagle egg, barely developed, that lay on the ground cracked in two, waiting for the next passing scavenger.
His head hung instantly, eyes still stinging, now tinged with the red that often comes with crying, and he walked to catch up with Azn, "yes, mother." He wanted to go with her. Oh, how he wished he could. But he wouldn't argue and take away her freedom if she wished it so. He would fulfill her wishes always.
Always.
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:15 pm
She breathed in and out. Her heart beat rapidly within her chest, it seemed so loud. As if anyone could hear her beating heart. It was thumping, banging against her chest as if it wanted to pop out. She feared this, like she feared many things. She liked to cover up her fears, the best she could. It usually worked.
Azn disliked all these emotions that rained upon her. For so long, she lived without feeling much. It hurt, inwardly, to not express joy, sorrow, anger, like others did. She could feel bubbling joy inside, she would wish to smile or laugh. But she was determined not to. When was the last time she smiled? Or laughed? Was it....his age?
Sorrow was disliked. She heard once that crying was a sign of weakness. As a young mare, she cried often for unfortunate events in her past. She felt sadness at not having a chance to create more lasting memories with her parents. When she had to leave behind her home, that was hard. Returning was harder. Cry and cry, let it all out. But, she was better at keeping it all bottled up inside now. Did her sons cry? Was Taigi upset with her decision? She refused to look.
Anger. Azn felt anger, or perhaps it was revenge, towards those who had done wrong. Either to her or to others she knew. Though anger did not come often. She may feel frustration or irritation but not true anger or even intense loathing. She did not know the ones who had done wrong, only that they existed. Somewhere out there.
She sniffed. Remembering was difficult. Azn did not like to reflect on the past but being with Taigi, experiencing so many feelings at once, brought back memories of hers, both painful and happy.
Azn decided to continue along but stopped when she heard his 'yes mother'. She glanced back at him. He looked sad, a down-turned head. Her insides squirmed guiltily. She caused this. She knew this. And yet, Azn would do nothing to stop this sadness. She crushed his hopes and she accepted that.
She hoped he knew it was better for him, safer. It was hard to travel, it would be harder to raise a son while traveling. Never staying for long. It was tiring, long days of walking, resting in areas not always suitable for resting. Azn felt Taigi needed to be with his brothers, where he could play and meet other foals nearby, form lasting friendships. Not mere acquaintances, which was all she had. Not friends.
"Let us walk then. Together." She nodded her head towards the direction of his home. Her ears flickered, sounds were becoming more clearer. They were close.
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 12:06 pm
Taigi took a peek at his mother, raising his head ever so slightly. He experienced instantaneous regret then, because his mother seemed to be having a deep internal conflict, even though she wasn't looking at him. His head dropped once more and he wondered what this could mean.
She must have felt regret, too, mustn't she? But where did the regret start?
If she'd felt regret at leaving them in the first place, many moons ago, that fact alone could heal a number of Taigi's internal wounds. But he knew this was too much to expect of her. Why would she regret leaving them if her reason was exploring? Tai knew enough of the joy that came with being a wanderer to understand the reasoning behind her leave.
The more probable reason for regret was a regret of coming back here. She must have spent a lot of time and energy making her way back here to see what? An annoying, clingy foal who wouldn't give her freedom? Did she want to escape from the constriction of this forest when she had her foals? Perhaps she was afraid of commitment to their family.
But then again, he couldn't exactly say he knew his mother. Only by rare chance could he ever get her to tell him why it was she left. Would he want to know why she left? He shook his head slightly, 'if I got her to tell me something, I'd much rather it be an in-depth description of a swamp she'd stumbled upon in her travels.'
She was looking at him now, he could feel her cool gaze on him. And then another short sentence escaped her. The word 'together' made his breath catch once more. Longing, forgiveness, joy, sorrow. Many emotions clustered inside him at the sound of that word referring to the two of them, carried to his ears in the lovely tone of her voice. He nearly stumbled as he began walking towards her in an awe-filled, trance-like rush. His mouth was slightly ajar and his eyes were once again inquisitive. He would savor this moment with her, even if it was the last.
His ears, too, picked up the sounds of 'home' as he reached her side and tilted his head back to look up into his mother's face. She might've looked a bit weary, but there was a travel-hardened elegance and beauty about her. Her eyes were an unforgettable, misty gray, and he could now make out the distinctive and numerous streaks of gray in her hair. He would make sure that he'd never forget this face. And, on sudden, curious whim, he gave her a bold smile, if only to get one in return from her.
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Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 11:59 pm
((I think we could wrap it up in the next post.))
How was he handling it? Azn thought about it, but she hadn't wished to look at him till she was ready. Her inner turmoil was a struggle as she tried to keep it all inside. It was better to keep emotions inside then out. Letting others see what she felt was something Azn disliked. She thought she would be judged, maybe even ridiculed. Though she wondered if being considered close to cold-hearted and unfeeling was better. Not really but it wasn't as if she couldn't feel emotions, she did. She just didn't reveal them like so many others did.
But it was over now. She was calmer now, more prepared. She waited for his response, whether he'd walk with her or if he'd rather leave her behind to merely follow. Which was what she deserved, Azn knew this. However, she hadn't expected the reaction she got from him. Awestruck. She blinked slowly. She was confused. He seemed to still like her, love her even and yet Azn didn't think this would happen. How could it happen? She was cruel and her decision firm, she didn't deserve this. Her stomach clenched. He should know this.
When he reached her, Azn wasn't sure how to approach this. She supposed she could handle this, if only for awhile. But it made Azn think. What if her other sons were like this as well? She couldn't give the affection and care they sorely needed. Lucky likely loved them, probably told them every day. Unlike her. It was an emotion and Azn made a choice.
She watched as he looked at her. Into her eyes. Taigi's eyes were so green, she hadn't noticed. Lucky's eyes. Her eyes were dull, his bright. It was good he got his eyes. He looked at her hair and Azn thought on it, her hair and the rest of her. Her hair was more heavily streaked with gray than it was before. Traveling was wearing her down. It was lonely too, traveling by herself all the time. Many times she longed to stop and stay in one place. Settle down and live out the rest of her life; however long she had left. But she knew she could never do this.
At the sight of his smile, Azn froze. She stopped walking. Did he expect her to smile back? When was the last time she smiled? Ages ago, she couldn't even remember the moment. She could see the home in the distance. She was so close. But hadn't she crushed him enough? Did she want to crush him more? Would he forgive her this time? She was confused by his behaviour and yet strangely grateful. She was relieved he didn't dislike her. If a smile was all he wanted, then why couldn't she do it? Leave questions unanswered in exchange for a smile? A simple smile, it might not hold much but it might provide her a reason to escape without letting anything else slip.
Instead, she said to him, "Look. We're here. Past some trees and we'll reach them. They were probably worried about you." She looked at him and nodded over to the home. Just in time for night. Azn looked up at the sky, the sun had set and the stars and moon were easily seen. "If you want, you can run ahead. They might not realize we've already met." Run ahead so she could follow.
She looked him over once more and finally decided. It was true, they were better off without her and yet Azn could not fault him for wanting to get close to her, to know her and even like her. Or love her. "Taigi....." Azn stared at him, eyes watching him.
Her mouth slowly curled up into a small smile. It wasn't much, definitely not a full on smile but it was still there. She nervously began to move forward. She looked over at him sideways as she did so. Almost time. A few more minutes and she would see them all again. Azn knew she wasn't as ready as she could be but it was time she faced it.
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:16 pm
(( Took me a HIDEOUSLY long time to respond, but I finally got my full Taigi-spark back so here's the finale~))
That smile. It was more than he'd have begged of his mother's affection. That smile gave him hope, faith in their nearly-severed relationship. Faith that spoke generously and understandingly, 'so what if she does leave? I will meet her another day, in another moon perhaps.'
Taigi would respect Azn's wishes, as he promised himself he would, and allow her to leave once more without holding her back. But he would make sure to let her know he loved her. Truly loved her, with the timeless emotion a son would be expected to feel for his mother, no matter how scarce her actual appearance in his timeline. And he knew that she loved him as well, as a mother should her child. Even if she hadn't - no, that was an impossibility. Or rather, a painful option Taigi would refuse to consider.
His hooves took up pace with her own, as if rushing to prove they could. Keep up with her, that is. Not that it would do much good, he could tell her mind was set on 'abandoning' them once more. And though Tai hadn't completely grasped the reasons behind her not taking him along, (all she had said were trifle phrases such as 'you know it's best') he would respect that decision as well.
Respect. He had plenty for Azn. Perhaps too much for his own good, even.
They were approaching 'home'. Approaching it fast. He could hear the distant laughter, probably belonging to his brothers. And he felt... Jealous? Really? He wanted his mother all to himself, a triumph over Lex and Nik. He looked most like her. He discovered her when she still had doubts of truly returning. And hey, perhaps he even loved her most of the trio. Why would it be otherwise? Wouldn't his 'tough' brothers deny any such feeling for their wanderer of a mother?
But he had to do something before they reached home. For all he knew, she could be cast out the second she stepped hoof on their grounds. And so, his pace quickened and he brought his muzzle to graze his mother's shoulder, feeling the exact roughness of her travel-coat, the throb of her veins. He needed the physical feeling of his mother, even if she'd shun him for it. And perhaps she would lash out once more and retreat to wherever her haven was in this world. But he would know her; silly how a simple touch could do this.
All the while he had to keep telling himself she would leave after a simple exchange of speech. Once again, into the great unknown. Leave Taigi and perhaps his brothers with a great many unanswered questions.
Yet that smile. She gave it in response to his own, though dimmer in volume. Those actions felt like a significant exchange of emotions to the foal, doused him with adoration. The smile, he would never forget the smile.
"I love you, mother. Always."
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