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 Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:55 am
Moving wasn't easy for Ripuka. Her old battle wound had her limping and that limp was aggravated by the fact that she was becoming obviously pregnant.
The wounds on her face had mended badly and were viciously scarred.
But there was light in her one remaining eye - though that light could be considered sad.
She was out here for one purpose and one purpose alone. To see her son, Wakia. When he had been young she'd been close to the lad. He was the only one who knew of her sins as a youth - confided in him during a talk. Yet, with age he had grown distant. Maybe it was what happened with boys. Maybe they did just fade away. But Ripuka didn't like it.
Having Jua around almost constantly only made it more painfully distinct that Wakia was gone.
Not gone, but simply...not there.
So she was in search of her son, prodding tentatively around the dens in search of his own. Every few moments she'd give a gruff grunt as a call, a greeting - if he were there to hear her.
And oh, she hoped he was.
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:16 pm
The large black lion curled like a cub inside of a small den-more like a hole within the sands. He was napping peacefully and his ears began to twitch at the sounds of grunting and sliding sand. Someone was coming.
Opening his eyes immediately Wakia shifted in his home. Who could be visiting? "Hello?" He called gruffly. Standing the black lion ducked out of his hole into the open air.
"Mother," he gave her a warm genuine smile. Sons will always love their mothers, and however Ripuka was feeling about them being apart he felt it as well. He used to be a mama's boy wanting to be just like her. But, his mentality changed with the news from his brother..one she did not know he knew of.
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Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:59 am
And there he was.
A little of the worry she had been feeling lifted to see him smiling. Oh, her little Wakia. She'd sensed that something unspoken had happened between them, though she wasn't sure what. She would not have guessed that he would have met Azarax and discovered the truth about him. She didn't even know that Jua had discovered that secret. As far as she was aware it was only Makaa and she.
"There you are, Wakia. I'm glad I found you." She trailed off a little, but found courage and sat at the entrance of the den; ducking her head a little so she could look across at him. "It's hard to believe you and your sister are all grown up. It seems like only yesterday when you were tiny cubs, playing and carefree. So much has happened since that day, some good and some bad." She paused, her whiskers twitching. "We're still together, the family, and your father is staying for good...now, now I am blessed with more cubs." She looked to her stomach. "And you will soon have little brothers and sisters."
Yes, it was hard to see sometimes, but there was so much good.
"But I...I fear we're drifting apart, son." Her face was sad.
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Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 5:49 pm
the large male's jaw slacked in shock and awe at her nochalant actions towards him, truth be told he never actually confronted his mother about having a brother...but he still felt a grudge like she should have known better than to hide such a thing from him.
"Brothers and sisters.." he spoke quietly thinking his words over carefully, when he finally spoke his words came out low and gruff "I am content with one brother and one sister, mother." his yellow eyes darted away from her.
"Sons grow older mother, they fight it wars, they meet false gods..I am not young and carefree any longer." I have Umlilo to think of..and love..and a life..a mate. he thought of his earthy red love and his confidence in speaking was restored.
"I met him, Azarax.. I know what you did."
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Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:06 am
She waited on his response, never thinking, never guessing that he might know the terrible deed she had committed so long ago. She’d kept her secret so well guarded and she’d kept it for a reason. And it was the only secret she had ever kept from Wakia. It was he alone who knew of her wrongdoings in her younger years. Not even Wakia’s father knew that, though he knew there had been something.
So, she was thus shocked to her core at the words that fell from his mouth.
He knew. He knew.
Her heart felt ready to twist from her chest, but she held it back in fear that she’d only make the situation worse. Thoughts began racing through her head, then. Thoughts about what he and Azarax had spoken about. Was Azarax angry at her? Hateful, perhaps? Had he also sought out Jua? And if so, why had she not mentioned something? Or, maybe she did not know at all because Wakia had yet to tell her. But if that was the case, how long had it been since he’d found out? Before the war? After it? No, it would have been before the war when they would have had a chance to meet.
When she finally cut off her panicked thoughts she found she was trembling.
So caught up in her thoughts, she barely registered the words before Azarax’s name came into conversation. Maybe if she had she would have paused to ask him what he had meant about false gods. Maybe she’d think of it later. But right now, gods were the last thing on her mind.
The silence had gone on long enough.
“Wakia.” She breathed hoarsely. “Wakia…please, listen to me.” But what was she going to say? The tone of his voice was heartbreaking. He couldn’t even look her in the eye. Had she lost another son?
“If you know what I did then you’ll understand. You’ll understand that it was for the best. You know the pride, you know their rules. They would have cast him out or…or worse! I did what I did…I did the only thing I could in order to protect him.”
She drew in a shaky breath. “Don’t you see? I acted out of love, not hate. Never hate.”
She didn’t like where this conversation was heading. She didn’t like to think of what had conspired between her sons. From Wakia’s tone he was not pleased. In fact he’d probably been avoiding her for this very reason. And if he was so angry did that mean Azarax was too? And if he was angry, would he be willing to help her if his aid was needed in the future?
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Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:30 pm
The large black lion shook his head in disbelief, he loved his mother and knew deep down inside she felt what she had done was right but he could not agree with it, could not bring himself to think enslavement was better than being cast out...or death. Out of love not hate. Wakia realized that all the old timers and traditional thinkers really did feel that death was worse..or being cast out, he may have been raised that way but sometimes experience trumps teachings. Seeing Umlilo cast out as well as his own brother based on their fur changed his thinking entirely.
"I...mother.." he let out a slow sigh his anger was there, but he couldn't keep being so cold to her, "It..it wasn't right, I can't believe that, can't believe being a slave would be better." he raised his yellow eyes to meet hers.
"I am happy you are having another litter, I know that Jua and I meant the world to you..but please..don't lie to them?" he felt the heat and anger drain, she was his mother two sides of him collided to create a big fur ball filled with confusion. Wakia wanted desperatly to make things right, but he could never create a better past but he could make a better future.
"I am leaving..and I don't want you to hate me and I don't want to be so mad with you."
(Gosh I feel so rusty at rping, sorry I'm awful. ><)
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 9:23 am
(( Your rp is so not awful, hon! *hug* <3 ))
“And would you have felt any less anger towards me if you’d discovered I’d killed your brother as a helpless cub? The moment Azarax was born I knew I had to make a sacrifice. Either way I’d lose someone’s trust. I did the only thing I could at the time…” No, stop with the excuses now.
What was done was done. If Wakia wanted to hate her, then so be it. It was the risk she had taken when she’d abandoned Azarax to the slaves. She had to face up to the consequences now. “But I don’t blame you, Wakia. I would feel the same if I were you.”
She paused as he spoke again and felt her heart would burst. At least he knew she loved him. At least he believed her in that. For nothing was more true than her devoted love to her family – even to Azarax who had never left her heart for a moment.
“I will not lie to them.” She whispered hoarsely. “I promise.”
A better future.
Ripuka was uncertain of the future. She would not know how things would go until her unborn cubs were in this world and she could confirm her faith by the colour of their pelts. Until then she was wary of what the future would bring her. It had been so unkind. Yet, it had been good too. Life was full of ups and downs.
“Leaving?” She choked, hardly believing the words were coming from his mouth. “L-leaving to go where?” She paused a moment and then realisation sank in. “To the Simo. You’re going to stay with Kidondo’s rebels. Why, Wakia? Is it because of me? Please, don’t let my mistakes push you from your ho-…” What was she going to say? Home? Ha, that was a joke. This was no home. Yes, it was the desert, but it was not the Firekin’s desert. It was some cruel fake, made up so they could live in denial until they shrivelled up and died.
“Does Jua know?”
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Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 8:00 pm
"Kill him? No... I don't know what I'd rather, but living a life that isn't a real life at all is worse than death!" he felt anger and confusion all of his emotions were tugging at him. Wakia watched his mother and was comforted that she said she would not like and he had every reason to trust her...confronting her and her admittance was enough for him to know that.
The large black lions heart ached as he watched and listened to his mother's reaction and it ached even more as she asked if his sister knew. "I..have not told Jua, I have not told anyone but you and one other." Where to begin? He was in love? He did not believe in such traditional views?
"I am joining the rebels because I am in love, mother. She is a strong and beautiful lioness, and unfortunate my heart wont let her go, no matter what side she chooses I chose her." Umlilo held every bit of his heart and soul, there wasn't a moment that went by that Wakia did not think of her and draw strength knowing that she was out there in the sands. "Your mistake is not driving me away, my heart is."
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 5:14 am
“I have made many mistakes in my life, Wakia.” She replied hoarsely. “You know that better than most. I tried to do what was right in the name of tradition – to appease Finar-Si.” She shook her grizzled head. “But Finar-Si has forsaken us and I was wrong. I still cling to her, even now, desperate for her to show me that I am wrong. That she is watching. That this is still a test. I am a fool, I know.” Always a test…but a test for what? And when would it end? “But when the new cubs are born I will know one way or the other.”
She blinked back fierce tears. “Thank you for telling me. It…means more than you know.”
She paused as he explained himself and her heart lightened a little. He was not leaving out of his disgust for her. He was leaving because he was in love with another. In love. Her children truly were grown up. “Then you are leaving for the right reasons.” She replied gently. “Love is something to be treasured. There is not enough of it in the world.” At least, then, Azarax wouldn’t be alone. He’d have a brother.
She shook her head. “I’ve changed so much. If you had joined the side of the Simo during the war I would have felt so betrayed…so angry. But…seeing how we linger like ghosts in this place…I’m beginning to think we were wrong. That maybe…” No…she couldn’t say it. She was speaking like a heretic. Pah, she was a heretic; one in denial.
“It saddens me to think of you leaving. But…I think I am starting to see things clearly, more clearly than I would like. The last of our kind are hanging on by threads, led by false hopes. There is nothing here for you now.”
And she stepped forward to embrace him. “Don’t forget us, Wakia.” Her voice was thick with emotion. “I will always love you.”
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:06 pm
"With you as their mother these cubs will have so much love..you gave me a love for the world, and a view that has taught me so many things mother. Finar-si has not forsaken us, I think that because she is the goddess of change, perhaps she merely changed and forgot?" he thought the words alloud, he had met the goddess but did not recall much of their conversation, perhaps it was a dream.
He could not stop himself from being angry and confused, but he could start to forgive he pushed forward into her embrace. "Mama, I love you, and I always will. I can't stand this life I want children, to give you a long line of strong firekin grandchildren. Even if they are from a different side, they will have your blood coursing through them, and that is enough to make them great."
"I will always love you," he repeated her words again. What was there left to say? To do? He had aired his concerns, and she hers and he loved his mother, like all sons do. He knew it was time to go, he'd been away from Umlilo for quite a while, would she be mad?
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:51 am
She closed her eyes and fought back tears. His words. They meant so much to her. Her son. Oh how she loved him. Her children had been everything to her. They had brought such happiness, such purpose. Long ago she may have been devastated by this news but not now.
Not anymore.
Wakia had a future with his brother. A future that she could only dream of.
"Forgotten or forsaken." She replied quietly. "In the end it's all the same. Follow your heart and dreams Wakia. Do not let anything hold you back. Not me. Not this pride. Not religion. Follow your own path." Her heart swelled with pride and sadness.
Pride that her son was so strong. Pride that she'd soon be a grandmother. But sad, too, for she'd never get to see those grandchildren. "I love them already." She whispered, choked.
She drew back, sensing it was time to go. She had to let him go. She had to say goodbye. But she wouldn't. Goodbye was too final. Maybe she would see him again someday.
She stepped back, feeling suddenly old and weary - but oddly happy. "Wakia...you have made me so happy. So proud. Go to your mate. You'll be in my heart always." She drew in a deep breath. "Take care, my son."
And she turned to hide her tears - a mix of joy and sadness. She turned back to the den where she would rest, rest until her new cubs were born. And even though she would love these new cubs dearly, there would be no one who could replace those sons she had lost. No...not lost. Simply bade farewell.
Wakia and Azarax.
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