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 Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 8:21 am
 Today was turning out to be a depressing day. The sky was thick with dark gray clouds, the air cool with moisture clinging to it. It had been drizzling earlier, so the earth was soft and slick in patches, the yellow grass bent under the unfamiliar weight of water.
The soft gray wild dog almost matched the sky above, though it was more her air than her coat that allowed her to blend into the depressed setting around her. She was sitting at the edge of a watering hold, her tail splashing listlessly behind her as she looked down at her reflection. She saw sharp pink eyes staring back at her, but found she hardly recognized them.
An encounter had got her thinking about her past. She had been told, offhandedly, that she was a good hunter and asked where she had learned it, but she could not answer. Everything she knew how to do, she realized, she must have learned before her first memory. She could not recalled being a puppy, or even growing through her adolescence.
All she knew about herself was that she was alone, with only a few acquaintances to call friends. It made her feel very lonely, something she was beginning to loathe to feel. It brought a tightness to her chest, an anxiety she could not chase away with rational thought. She worried she would always feel like this, and that would keep people at a distance.
Frowning thoughtfully, her pensive eyes drawing her head slightly down as she looked at herself even harder, she sighed.
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Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:44 pm
The two wild dogs certainly had something in common: they had few to call friend. Kiasi'mtunza had wandered away from her family when she wasn't much older than a pup. As a juvenile, she'd met someone she now considered a good friend - Pebble - but the two had seperated as adolescents. They had been old enough them to strike off on their own lives. But Tunz had been born into a pack, and missed having companions to share her time with or, more specifically, others to protect.
All the same, it wasn't often that the female allowed herself to wallow in her own loneliness. She was an adult now, and had a mind to find some way into a pack if she couldn't find the one she had been born into. She had no idea that the Mpinzani had been disbanded, but had given up hope on finding it again all the same. Would she even recognize it now? She wasn't sure. All she knew was that she was keen on finding a new place to call home and to stop all this wandering business.
It would be accurate to suggest, however, that Tunz had a bit more to hold on to than this gray wild dog. She had the names and memories of her family, as well as her upbringing. She wouldn't forget them, and she wouldn't forget Pebble. There was always that.
Padding slowly down towards the watering hole, beneath the gloomy sky, Tunz praised the rain despite that she knew it would be disasterously muggy later. For now, it was somewhat cooler and the life-giving rain meant the watering holes would be less murky. Her teal eyes brightened as she approached and saw the form of another canine, calling forth before she got too close, just incase the other would have a more vicious reaction to company, "Hello! Mind if I join you?"
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Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 9:12 am
Tumai's ears perked forward and she turned her head at spy another wild dog moving into the area. Her tail wagged listlessly from side to side, her mind consciously trying to keep it from betrayed her excitement. The idea of company, particularly on such a lonely day, was enough to lift her spirits.
"Hello! I don't mind at all," she said with a warm smile, her strange pink eyes all but glowing as she welcomed this stranger, "my name is Tumai. You have a very pretty coat. Are you not from around here?"
Usually, Tumai wasn't the most talkative of creatures. She was curious, but shy, and had a way of dancing around conversation timidly. Yet today, with her desperation for company so high, she was eager to speak with this new arrival about any and every thing. Besides, she really did have a coat that was not like Tumai's, and the gray wild dog was naturally curious.
"I'm sorry, I'm a bit excitable today," she explained, still smiling, "it's been a bad day for weather, and no one's been around. If you're just looking for a drink, I'll let you get on your way. I'm just..." she didn't want to say lonely, the word stinging her eyes even before it was pronounced, so she just turned her head back toward the water and sighed.
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Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 9:34 am
Her eyes widened a bit at the enthusiastic response from the stranger, but not from fear or any other unpleasant emotion. She was rather excited as well that the dog she'd happened upon was just as eager for company as she was. It'd been a few days since she had seen anything but preybeasts, so company she could actually talk to was quite welcomed.
"I'm Kiasi'mtunza," She hesitated, smiling broadly, "But you can call me Tunz. And thank you, your's as well. I don't see coats of that color often. I'm not, actually. I'm from... Mpinzani, though I haven't been able to find my way back there since I was a pup."
She had long since stopped asking other wild dogs if they were from there. No one seemed to be, and many seemed to have not even heard of the place. However, where as Tumai wasn't all that talkative typically, Tunz loved to start up conversation. All the time she spent alone was taxing enough on her, why would she want to be silent in the company of others? They might not stay long, after all.
So, Tunz understood the unspoken word that Tumai couldn't bring herself to say. She felt it too. Shaking her head reassuringly, Tunz smiled, "Oh, no. I don't get to see people often. I don't mind talking. I won't die of thirst by then."
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Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 9:50 am
Thankful for the nickname, Tumai sighed. She was not the best with names, and longs ones often confused her. Of course, many things confused her, but she did her best to stay positive and do her best with what her head gave her to work with. Nodding, she stored the name Tunz for future reference, the long version already slipping away.
"I'm not sure I know what or where that is, but I hope you find it. I can imagine what it's like to lose track of a home. Not that I ever have. Or... not that I can remember," puzzled by her own words, she shook her head, smiling.
Bending to the water, she took a drink and sighed.
"This area does seem kind of empty. I'm just wandering through, looking for... I don't know. Something. I'm sure I'll know it when I see it. Have you ever done that? Feel like you're missing something, but you don't know what? I'm beginning to think it's company, since, before you came, I was rather... depressed." She smiled.
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Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 9:58 am
Luckily for Tunz, Tumai's name was short and sweet: and it started with a 'T'! Which would, of course, make it a thousand times easier to remember since her own name began with T as well - when it was shortened, anyway. Half the time, she wondered how she didn't forget her own full name, especially when she didn't get to hear it often from others. It was her own mantra that kept her from forgetting things like her name and her family's names: all those brothers and sisters, oh my.
"Oh, I stopped looking sometime ago." Tunz admitted with a stoic shrug, teal eyes dropping their gaze to look at the water before lowering her head to take a drink. Lifting it again quickly, she added, "Not many know what or where the Mpinzani is, and without anyone to give me directions..." She shrugged again before smiling, "If I'm meant to find it again, I will. Until then..."
But what she had left unsaid was soon spoken by her companion, and her eyes lit up with amusement as the other canine spoke.
"That's it exactly. I'm wandering now. There's no point looking for my packlands, so I just... walk. Eventually I'll find either a new home or ... whatever it is I need right now." Smiling, she nodded, "And company seems about right, at least for now."
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Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:12 am
Tumai smiled. She was glad to have found someone in a similar situation to her. Of course, she imagined her new acquaintance was at least better off because she could remember that she had a family, and a pack.
Then again, Tumai never felt bad about the memories she lost. To her, it wasn't like she had lost them at all. They, after all, had never existed to her. No one told her about things she was missed from her past, because there was no one around her that had known her back then. It was very hard to be sad about something she had no idea about. In fact, she felt that being sad about losing her past was probably akin to feeling the same way for someone else: it was detached, distant emotion that was not as depressing as, say, a lonely day in bad weather was.
"I think I'm hoping to find a pack. I don't know if I were ever part of one, but I feel like I could be a more complete wild dog if I found one. A family would be nice, or at least people to look after and who might look after me, you know? I've never had that, as far as I know." She smiled again, whimsically, "I do like wandering, though, and meeting new friends."
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 6:03 pm
Tunz couldn't imagine not remembering her family. Granted, because it was so large, she knew some of her siblings better than others, but at least she remembered them all.
She would have to agree, though. Having no memories of something certainly made it hard to miss. What if Tumai's family had been particularly awful? Or even met a horrible end? How can you be sad about something that doesn't really exist? If you can't remember, you could safely go through life under the assumption that your past didn't exist, or maybe that was thinking far too deep metaphorically speaking.
The female couldn't help it. Listening to Tumai speak, she felt a twinge in her heart strings. Tunz protected others. That was the meaning to her very existence, and here was someone who needed her, even if the other wild dog didn't know it and hadn't asked. Swallowing, Tunz decided it would probably be best not to weird or otherwise creep out the other female. Instead, she nodded serenely, "A pack is a wonderful thing to be apart of. I look forward to having a family, as well, and others to care for." She frowned though, a bit pensively, "I'm not one for wandering, though I don't mind meeting new friends. It's just... hard to form any real attachments when you're always moving."
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Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 1:47 pm
"That's true," Tumai nodded, "it is difficult to make lasting relationships... but even fleeting moments have a way of lasting forever, don't they? I mean, I haven't forgotten any one I've met out here yet. Or at least, I'm pretty sure I haven't. Though, I suppose you wouldn't really know, like with my past, if it just... disappeared."
She pondered for a moment, blinking thoughtfully. She had a tendency to get confused over simple, or irrelevant, things, so this rather profound concept was staggering. The idea that she could have forgotten a friend without realizing it broke her heart, and she shook her head. It simply could not have happened. She made an effort to remember everyone, and she would not be defeated in that quest.
"I think I'm going to stay in this area, unless I hear of a pack around somewhere else. I've made a couple of friends that are... really nice to me, even though I'm kind of hard to deal with at times. I do appreciate their kindness, though."
She looked at Tunz and smiled brightly, "plus, the hunting is good around here." She laughed.
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 12:20 pm
"You wouldn't know until you met them." Tunz thought about how sore it might be for the other individual, to not be remembered. Oh God, what if none of her family remembered her? What if they had forgotten about her completely? Her tail flicked from side to side as her gaze dropped to look at the dirt thoughtfully.
"Moments last, but... Well, I guess you could have relationships like that. They would just be very long in the making." She smiled at that, raising her teal eyes back to the other wild dog.
Oh, splendid! She was going to stay put. That would make things so much easier. Tunz could just... swing by and keep her company now and then, keep up on things and make sure that everything was running smoothly. She didn't have to tell Tumai that she was protecting her from anything because she could do so secretively and that definitely made things so much less awkward. Exhaling softly in relief, her smile grew once more as she nodded, "What are friends for, except to stick by even through the hard times?"
Glancing around, she laughed when Tumai laughed, "It is. There are plenty of preybeasts, a wateringhole. It is a good place; maybe you could start your own pack?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 9:25 am
Tumai wagged her tail and nodded. She was glad such nice wild dogs were around, though it made her pine for a community to belong to even more. She was very aware of how lonely it got, and she dreaded the feeling. It usually only encouraged a deeper depression, rather than create any kind of preventative action.
She perked her ears forward when she thought about making her own pack. It seemed an odd thing to try, since she hardly knew more than three or four wild dogs.
"I can't imagine myself trying to lead anything," she admitted, "I'm more of a follower than anything else. I'd like to just join a pack, and be welcomed by them and just have a home that's always been there, just waiting for me. Or maybe that's silly." She giggled, shaking her head, "I'm not sure, but it sounds nice, at least."
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:38 pm
Tunz shrugged, still mostly thoughtful as she considered the number of things that Tumai had brought up: was she forgotten, could friendships be formed in mere moments, leading a pack. Her teal eyes shifted from her new friend, to the horizon, and then back again. She was starting to get hungry, and needed to find a place to settle down for the night. Shifting her weight from one forepaw to the other, she responded, "You could start one and chose a leader. You would have your family, then, and not have to lead it yourself."
Truth be told, Tunz would have liked to start her own pack someday. She figured she was be good enough at it, but she wasn't completely sure. She wasn't even sure if she could handle pups yet, much less a whole pack. That was another thought for another day.
"It's not silly. We all want someplace to call home, even if for some people traveling is home." She smiled kindly and then tossed her head towards the surrounding savannah. "I've got to get going, but if you stick around here like you said, I'm sure I'll run into you again." And she would, despite her noncommital answer. Tunz would be back around to check on Tumai, without a doubt.
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 2:07 pm
Tumai smiled. She appreciated how kind Tunz was being, and the chance to just put these thoughts, which had mostly been in her head, into words. She nodded, wondering if she could find enough friends to start a pack of her own. Either way, making her own or being in an established one, it sounded wonderful.
"I hope we do meet each other again," Tumai said, sincerely. She smiled warmly and wagged her tail, moving forward and giving Tunz and friendly rub as a goodbye. She needed to be heading off, too. Only after she saw Tunz leave, though, because there would be no point in leaving the area if the reason she was hanging around it was still there. And she would come back. Sooner than she realized, in fact.
"See you some time soon," she said, with conviction, "and good luck in all you set out to do!" She hummed to herself and looked back at the watering hole, her expression now much lighter and less pensive than only moments before.
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