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So today, I get home.

It's Friday. I want to relax for awhile.

I start enjoying my afternoon, knowing it's the weekend, a three day one at that, and I've had a pretty tough week at school.

At 5:30, my father storms into my room and begins to berate and scream at me for not studying for my PSATs.

I have; a half-hour each day for the past two weeks or so.

He yells that I haven't put enough effort in, and can't I see the gravity in this situation?

He's been doing this nearly every third day ever since he found out that I was taking them.

It makes me wish I'd purposely missed the registration deadline. It makes me want to curl up into my pillow and holler my a** off. It makes me want to cry a little.

I took initiative to review on my own when my parents were away in Italy for a week.

And now, I wish they'd stayed.

Help on dealing with Mommy and Daddy dearest, who are a**l about anything and everything that goes on in my life.

Well, I think your views are quite relevant; however, I think you should understand what your parents are trying to do for you (most likely at least). More than likely, they're trying to set up a good future for you and I know that you've probably heard a lot of crap about it in your life. It really is something to consider though because a lot of people aren't well off in this world and they're trying to make it to where you can make enough money for your future. The harder you work now the better you benefit later. I'm sure you've heard a lot of crap about that too. However, let's not compare it to such a long-term process. Compare to a short-term process such as doing your homework. Let's say you have six hours of homework for the day. You do 5 hours before 1:00 PM. Then you do the other hour before dinner. You worked hard in the starting and it wasn't as hard as rushing all the homework right at the end, right? That's kind of how you should think about it. Sure, it sucks, and it's nothing you want to do but it's helping you for a positive outcome later on in your life.

Now, how does that relate to a stupid PSAT test that doesn't matter anyway? Well, what seems to be a distinguishing factor in college applications seems to be extra-curriculars, GPA, and SATs. Well, that's what you have to work on then. Since, more than likely, you won't have an idea of what college you want to go to for a while you work at everything so it's easier to get in college. Better SAT scores means you have a better chance of getting into college. So, the better you do on a PSAT the better you will do or the more prepared you will be for a SAT test which in turn will help you out more in life. Remember, look at the "Big Picture."

Although, just because that's going to help you in the future doesn't mean that he has to yell at you for it. I would recommend that you talk to him about that and ask if he can just sensibly remind you to study rather than yelling at you. Usually, yelling in any sense doesn't help a person. Just talk to him about it. If you missed a day of studying just tell him that you'll do an hour for today or something like that.

This has worked for me in the past so maybe it would work for you. Write your parents (mostly dad) a letter and leave out just after you go to bed. That way you can express all your feelings and they will have all night to think about how you are feeling and how their actions are affecting you. They may not even be aware of how you feel and what this is doing to you so get out all of your feelings and use 'I' messages such as 'I feel...' rather then blaming. They are doing the best job they know how to and hopefully they will be happy to take your advice and make everything better.

Alright, well everyone communicates differently. Can you think of any other ways that you would be able to communicate your feelings to them? It's possible that they weren't really able to understand the full meaning of your poem and a clear letter might work better. Or writing out a list of points and then sitting down together for a discussion. Everyone has to agree that it is an honest and open discussion with no yelling or fighting so that you can all express the feelings and thoughts that you want to.

Mm, now that I'm actually over the hurdle of... I don't know, taking a pre-test, maybe? It doesn't seem too bad.

I really have an attitude problem sometimes. Lol. I need to work on that. sweatdrop

Thanks, everyone, for your advice.

You said it. Sometimes parents *think* they're doing the child a favor by not letting them repeat their mistakes, but they just go too far.
Don't take it too hard, and let him know about what he's doing and how upset he's making you. He probably doesn't know.

Ah yes, because the PSATs are THE END OF THE WORLD if you do not get a PERFECT SCORE!!! Because of course when you try for a job in the real world they will be supremely interested in a practice test you took back in high school. And then, when you retire, they will not accept you when they see that you got 1 point below the acceptable score on your PSAT!!! Too bad your father probably won't see this...I hope at least it is semi-amusing.

My mom is a bit nuts about that stuff too. If I do not get x GPA in college and get Y job then I shall be doomed for the rest of my life.

I find it amusing how lots of other people seem to succeed just fine without the perfect everything. Of course, I guess in the eyes of parents you can only succeed one way.

Sorry that your father is still on your nerves. I hope you do well on the test though smile

Quite honestly, once you get out of high school, nobody gives a damn about what your GPA was or your SAT or ACT scores.

We actually have a card at Hallmark that says something to the effect of:
Front: Reality Check #574
Inside: Nobody really cares what your GPA was.

Makes me laugh every time I see it... neutral