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[q] -- a cake walk~ comm/crit please!

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thefancycakes

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 10:40 pm


    Don't waste your time reading this first post because it's useless and I'd like you to be reading what's below this. :]

    I don't need more than one post 'cause I'll never be questing for more than one thing at a time~

    Comments and critiques are welcomed and appreciated. Please and thank you!

    Oh, btw, you can post in this thread. |3
PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 10:42 pm


    Name: Rosalind Almondine
    Family: Aishe
    Gender: Female ♀
    Stage: Journeyman
    Seller of: Ambrosia Pastries -- Extremely delicious and rich confectioneries that are hard to come by because of how difficult and tedious it is to make them. The main ingredient, Ambrosia, can only be obtained by forming a pact with a god. The god then composes a contract which states that if the confectioner ever tastes the Ambrosia that is mixed into their pastries, it will be their Final Dessert. This means that the pastry will poison them, and they will die from a sudden malady. They cannot eat the pastries because they're supposed to make other people happy, not the confectioner. The pastries also include pixie dust, a slice of every fruit in existence, honey, early morning rose dew, a vial of pure moonlight, vanilla dough, and sugar.
    Eyes: Warm and affable; wide-eyed and hazel
    Horns: Swirly, pure white (think whipped cream!)
    Hairstyle: Unruly and wavy, mid-back length; burgundy with two curled ringlets framing her face
    Personality: Unflinchingly kind, nurturing, and unselfish, Rosalind tries her best to keep those around her happy. She's exceptionally understanding and truly takes life with a grain of salt- Rosalind has never held a grudge in her life. Her culinary skills are second to none in terms of desserts, and she is well aware of this fact; this is not, however, likened to arrogance. Rosalind is prone to depression when subjected to vagrants, malady, and strife. Because of her soft-heartedness, some may view her as overly sappy or sentimental. She's aware that these things are out of her control, but strives to make wherever she goes a happier place with her pies, cakes, turnovers, éclairs, or whatever other culinary delights she can conjure up in her kitchen.
    Position/Expression: With a finger, which has been dipped into an experimental batch of icing, placed in her mouth, Rosalind has an expression of extreme pleasure. Her free hand is placed on her hip, and her cheeks are red from excitement.
    Outfit: Because of her pleasantly plump (but not fat!) physique, Rosalind prefers to dress modestly. She's very feminine in her manner of dress, with soft pink hues and pastel brown making up a majority of the color in her wardrobe. Rosalind is never seen without her trademark kitchen hat, which is tied together with a pink bow in the front. She's also usually wearing an apron with a large bow in the back, along with her sleeves being rolled up as to not dirty them. (ooc: I don't want to give too many details when it comes to her physical appearance, so that there's artistic freedom and creativity.)
    Items?: Like previously stated, Rosalind is never without her favorite pink-bow kitchen hat. She doesn't really have any personal posessions that she'd normally be seen with.
    Etc: Lives against the adage saying "you can't have your cake and eat it too." Rosalind believes that one may have their cake if someone else provides it for them. Whether she truly thinks the proverb is literally referring to cake or not is unknown. Oh, and about the pact to get the Ambrosia. The pastry chefs are not granted any divine powers or things of the like, they're not even blessed; they're just bestowed with the nectar of the gods.
    References: [horns!] [woman on right - headwear!] [hair!] [hair! 2! (the tendrils)] [hair color!] [eye color!]


[color=#8B3A3A][size=11][list][b]Name:[/b] Rosalind Almondine
[b]Family:[/b] Aishe
[b]Gender:[/b] Female ♀
[b]Stage:[/b] Journeyman
[b]Seller of:[/b] Ambrosia Pastries -- Extremely delicious and rich confectioneries that are hard to come by because of how difficult and tedious it is to make them. The main ingredient, Ambrosia, can only be obtained by forming a pact with a god. The god then composes a contract which states that if the confectioner ever tastes the Ambrosia that is mixed into their pastries, it will be their [i]Final Dessert[/i]. This means that the pastry will poison them, and they will die from a sudden malady. They cannot eat the pastries because they're supposed to make other people happy, not the confectioner. The pastries also include pixie dust, a slice of every fruit in existence, honey, early morning rose dew, a vial of pure moonlight, vanilla dough, and sugar.
[b]Eyes:[/b] Warm and affable; wide-eyed and hazel
[b]Horns:[/b] Swirly, pure white (think whipped cream!)
[b]Hairstyle:[/b] Unruly and wavy, mid-back length; burgundy with two curled ringlets framing her face
[b]Personality:[/b] Unflinchingly kind, nurturing, and unselfish, Rosalind tries her best to keep those around her happy. She's exceptionally understanding and truly takes life with a grain of salt- Rosalind has never held a grudge in her life. Her culinary skills are second to none in terms of desserts, and she is well aware of this fact; this is not, however, likened to arrogance. Rosalind is prone to depression when subjected to vagrants, malady, and strife. Because of her soft-heartedness, some may view her as overly sappy or sentimental. She's aware that these things are out of her control, but strives to make wherever she goes a happier place with her pies, cakes, turnovers, éclairs, or whatever other culinary delights she can conjure up in her kitchen.
[b]Position/Expression:[/b] With a finger, which has been dipped into an experimental batch of icing, placed in her mouth, Rosalind has an expression of extreme pleasure. Her free hand is placed on her hip, and her cheeks are red from excitement.
[b]Outfit:[/b] Because of her pleasantly plump (but not fat!) physique, Rosalind prefers to dress modestly. She's very feminine in her manner of dress, with soft pink hues and pastel brown making up a majority of the color in her wardrobe. Rosalind is never seen without her trademark kitchen hat, which is tied together with a pink bow in the front. She's also usually wearing an apron with a large bow in the back, along with her sleeves being rolled up as to not dirty them. (ooc: I don't want to give too many details when it comes to her physical appearance, so that there's artistic freedom and creativity.)
[b]Items?:[/b] Like previously stated, Rosalind is never without her favorite pink-bow kitchen hat. She doesn't really have any personal posessions that she'd normally be seen with.
[b]Etc:[/b] Lives [i]against[/i] the adage saying "you can't have your cake and eat it too." Rosalind believes that one [i]may[/i] have their cake if someone else provides it for them. Whether she truly thinks the proverb is literally referring to cake or not is unknown. Oh, and about the pact to get the Ambrosia. The pastry chefs are not granted any divine powers or things of the like, they're not even blessed; they're just bestowed with the nectar of the gods.
[b]References:[/b] [[url=http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y54/ckloh/whippedcream.gif]horns![/url]] [[url=http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/2/26/FFCCKing_clavats.jpg]woman on right - headwear![/url]] [[url=http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~yangwang/pictures/sm18.jpg]hair![/url]] [[url=http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/e/e4/Aeris_Portrait.jpg]hair! 2! (the tendrils)[/url]] [[url=http://www.tile-style.co.uk/shopimages/products/thumbnails/Burgundy single.JPG]hair color![/url]] [[url=http://arania.kamiki.net/Ethan/Resources/Ethan Hazel Eyes.jpg]eye color![/url]][/color][/size][/list]

thefancycakes


Sosiqui

Enduring Muse

PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:04 pm


Crit! :3

I like her trade XD bu~ut. I think you need to check with Natsu about the involvement of the deities. The Ursari approach to the gods is obviously going to be an important part of their culture and I don't think much of it has been hammered out yet (at least in public, I dunno what Natsu's done on her own). So I'd check with her to make sure that the ambrosia thing works with her idea for the religion of the Ursari culture.

I'd also add that I'm not 100% sure why the gods would give ambrosia. Do they make the pastries magic or special beyond simply being really damn tasty? It seems that something from a god that you need to promise your LIFE for (effectively) should be a little bit more than just delicious. I also think a slice of every fruit in existence on one pastry is a little excessive XDD a slice of every fruit on Earth would be overload, and the Ursari are world-traveling... @3@;;; I can't imagine you'd be able to see the pastry or even the chef under all that fruit!

That said, I really like the idea of a baker and I hope you continue with it <3 it's a craft that really doesn't get enough attention in RP.
PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:36 pm


Eee, thankies~

Yeah, I could totally see where you're coming from- the involvement of the gods does seem a bit strage just to make tasty pastries, huh? They really, really don't serve any other purpose than to make REALLY DAMN GOOD PASTRIES. Srsly, lols. The "theme" of Rosalind, I guess, is just to be happy with small things in life. That being said, she really believes in this to the point of where she'd offer her life (although she shows restraint in eating the ambrosia pastries) to just make grade-A desserts. And yeah, the whole "slice of every fruit" does seem a bit over-the-top. xD;; Maybe I should have elaborated, like she has to have them magically condensed...? Like I stated, they're very hard to make, which is why people don't usually take up her trade. xDD

And if their societies do involve deities, then perhaps she'd have to make a pilgrimage to get the ambrosia? ideas, ideas~

I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR CRIT <3 thankies!

thefancycakes


Elwryn

PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 5:04 pm


I agree with what Sosi said about the baker bit being really cool and original. Besides her crit about the god involvement and the fruit, I'd like add that really she could almost go Djardi; what with her desire to see everyone around her happy.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! It's really nice and I love your descriptions especially. heart
PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:26 am


I'm agreeing with Sosi; I do find her more of a Djardi than an aishe. Aishe would be more of a service to others without really anything to sell except for intangibles.

I haven't revealed the Ursari gods (or even if they have them) Lets just say that while they are in good favor with the pantheon and other gods from different worlds, they know next to nothing about their own. And they are worried about even writing down their theories for fear of angering them.

So for ambrosia, i would either say that she harvest ambrosia from some god in return for something? It doesn't have to be an Ursari god at all!

natsu
Artist

Princess Paradox

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