This is a story I am going to write. I wouldn't mind critiquing, but please put it in bold.
~*~*~*~*~
How long as has it been? Three, four, five months? And still I can't fly. Then again, if you and told me last year that I was an angel sent from heaven I'd probably laugh at in your face for the over used pick-up line.
Flying took wings, I reminded myself. I still haven't been able to grow them out again. The first time was awkward, but I know it wasn't a dream. I can just feel it. I shuddered as I remembered.
---
Wind was blowing everywhere, throwing my long black locks all around my face. My hands firmly grasped the railing that was supposed to keep people like myself from falling off the bridge. I stood on the wrong side of the empty bridge.
I had enough. It was too much. The chilly river looked welcoming, but my feet were cemented in place. I was afraid to jump. I wanted to take the easy way out, but I was too frightened of what would really happen once I hit the bottom.
I couldn't do it. I turned to swing my leg over the railing and climb back over. Someone was standing behind me, I was startled, locked into place. Then I was falling. That smile, those eyes, they're etched into my skull, but I can't remember their face. His hands dangled over the railing, smiling maliciously.And then he was gone, in the blink of an eye.
Falling, falling, falling, towards my death that I had just decided against. I couldn't scream, I probably deserved this anyway. Tears fell upwards, at least from my prospective, from my icy blue eyes. Suddenly pain. There was pain in my shoulders. Then I was gliding more than falling. The icy water was up to my waist when the pain and gliding disappeared, left more or less stranded in the shallow end of the river, left with nothing but glowing feathers flying everywhere, like leaves on an Autumn day.
---
And still, I couldn't make these wing return. I know they were mine.
But I'm not willing to put my life in danger to make them appear again. Either way, I have a bad feeling growing in the pit of my stomach. Something bad is going to happen, and that same something is coming soon.
I just wish I knew what.
~*~*~*~*~
How long as has it been? Three, four, five months? And still I can't fly. Then again, if you and told me last year that I was an angel sent from heaven I'd probably laugh at in your face for the over used pick-up line.
Flying took wings, I reminded myself. I still haven't been able to grow them out again. The first time was awkward, but I know it wasn't a dream. I can just feel it. I shuddered as I remembered.
---
Wind was blowing everywhere, throwing my long black locks all around my face. My hands firmly grasped the railing that was supposed to keep people like myself from falling off the bridge. I stood on the wrong side of the empty bridge.
I had enough. It was too much. The chilly river looked welcoming, but my feet were cemented in place. I was afraid to jump. I wanted to take the easy way out, but I was too frightened of what would really happen once I hit the bottom.
I couldn't do it. I turned to swing my leg over the railing and climb back over. Someone was standing behind me, I was startled, locked into place. Then I was falling. That smile, those eyes, they're etched into my skull, but I can't remember their face. His hands dangled over the railing, smiling maliciously.And then he was gone, in the blink of an eye.
Falling, falling, falling, towards my death that I had just decided against. I couldn't scream, I probably deserved this anyway. Tears fell upwards, at least from my prospective, from my icy blue eyes. Suddenly pain. There was pain in my shoulders. Then I was gliding more than falling. The icy water was up to my waist when the pain and gliding disappeared, left more or less stranded in the shallow end of the river, left with nothing but glowing feathers flying everywhere, like leaves on an Autumn day.
---
And still, I couldn't make these wing return. I know they were mine.
But I'm not willing to put my life in danger to make them appear again. Either way, I have a bad feeling growing in the pit of my stomach. Something bad is going to happen, and that same something is coming soon.
I just wish I knew what.
