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 Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 6:50 pm
Here's where you can post all you best Halloween jokes! (open Oct 19 - 31)
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Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:40 pm
(These jokes are jokes that I've heard before in my life, so I didn't make them up on my own. I'll try to think up something original between now and the due date, but I doubt I'll be able to. xd )
What is a ghost's favorite fruit? Boo-berry!
What kind of witch can you find in the desert? A sand-witch!
What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets!
(Oh, and here is something I wish I could draw.)
A little baby bird walks up to an open Egyptian coffin in a museum. "Are you my mommy?"
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Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 6:04 pm
Neko found a lot of Halloween jokes, too many to post
Here are some of her favorites:
(Answers are in white)
Warning: Neko loves puns XD
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
'Cause demons are a ghoul's best freind
What's a monster's favorite bean?
A human bean
Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the boo's
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting liscense
What do you call a goblin that gets too close to the campfire?
A toasty ghosty
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettucinni Afraid-o
Why do ghosts shiver and moan?
It gets drafty under the sheet
How can you tell if a vampire has been in the bakery?
All the jelly doughnuts have had their jelly sucked out
The maker does not want it, the buyer does not use it, the user never sees it, what is it?
A coffin
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets!
Yes, no Neko originals, because she doesn't have any XD
She'll try to come up with some, though!
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Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 6:38 pm
Why didn't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he didn't have any body to go with!
What's a vampire's favorite sport?
Bats-ketball!
Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?
They only let him be the bat boy.
What is the ratio of a pumpkin's diameter to it's circumfrence?
Pumpking Pi
Why didn't Dracula get married?
He never met a nice ghoul.
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Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 6:42 pm
Here's one for ya;
Why don't skeletons play in churches?
They ain't got no organs
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Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:04 pm
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have any guts!!!
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Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:39 pm
Ignore the lameness of these but I thought they were funny because I find nearly everything funny DX
These are just some ones I've heard before.I might come back with more.
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit!
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Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 9:45 pm
So many different jokes..... these are a few I liked the best (with one slightly made-up one). XD
Why did the reaper's mail rattle?
It was a chain letter.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
You suck.
What did the ghost say when the goblin offered him a cup of punch?
No thank you; it goes right through me.
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Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 10:37 am
Here is a few I found. biggrin
What did the ghost say when it bumped it's head?
Boo hoo
Why couldn't the mummy answer the phone?
Becuase it was all wrapped up!
What kind of dogs do vampires like best?
Bloodhounds
What do you call a monster chasing a train full of people?
Hungry!
Why are there fences around cemetaries? (This was my Grandpa's favorite joke and asked us every time we went by one)
Because people are dying to get in!
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Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 10:44 am
What is a Zombie's favorite game?
Brain Teasers
What is a Vampire's Favorite dessert?
Blood Pudding.
Why did the Headless Horseman go into business for himself?
He wanted to get a head in life.
What does a monster get from an Italian restaurant?
Spaghetti and Eyeballs.
Why did the witch stand in front of the podium?
To give a Screech.
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Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 5:53 pm
oh btw,too lazy to go in my account.My real acc is DazeCraze.
Q. What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?
Wrap Music!
Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with
Q.Why was the girl afraid of the vampire?
Q. Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
Because he is always a goblin.
Q. What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream.
Q. What are ghosts' favorite kind of streets?
Dead ends
Q. What is a vampires favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving
Q. What do you call two spiders that just got married?
Newlywebbed
Q. What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop?
A. Scream or sugar!
Q. Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Q. Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
Q. Why did the skeleton go disco dancing?
to see the boogy man.
Q.What kind of gum do ghosts chew?
Boo Boo Gum~
Q. Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
To stop his coffin!
1ST PERSON: Knock knock!
2ND PERSON: Whos there?
1ST PERSON: Phillip!
2ND PERSON: Phillip..who?
1ST PERSON: Fillup my bag with candy!
2ND PERSON: haha!
Q.When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.
Q. Where did the ghost get it's hair done?
At the boo-ty shop.
Q. Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?
it raises their spirits.
Q. What did Dracula have for dessert?
Whine & Ice scream
Q. What is Dracula's favorite restaraunt?
Murder King
What did tha boy ghost say to the girl ghost?
You are the most booooooooo-tiful thing I have ever seen!
Q. Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?
Because people are dying to get in
Thats all i could ever think off..
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Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 6:22 pm
One more of my own creation. (some of the above were too, not that others didn't think of them too! lol))
What is the Zombie's favorite book?
A Farewell to Arms.
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Posted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 1:54 pm
*shrugs* Theese made me giggle.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
-They all come out at night.
What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking?
-A pumpkin patch!!!
Who are some of the were-wolves cousins?
-The what-wolves and when-wolves. *shakes head and laughs. So lame, its funny*
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
-A stake sandwich
Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
-He heard it had great circulation
Why did the dyslexic vampire starve to death?
-He couldn't find any dloob *gigglesnorts*
Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?
-Because he just came to pick up his little sister. *meaning he wasnt wearing a costume XD*
I made this one up I think. I saw something similar, but I twisted it ^_^.
Why isn't Dracula invited to many Halloween parties?
Because he sucks the life right out of the party.
Why did Dracula return his computer to the store?
It didnt have enough Bytes.
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:03 pm
Okie, this one is a little adult and it wasn't originally a Halloween joke... It's a doctor/funeral joke turned into a doctor/Halloween joke sweatdrop
But Neko thinks it's funny as heck xd
One Halloween a staff of doctors decided to take their kids trick or treating together. One of the doctors, a cardiologist, decided to make his daughter a candy basket in the shape of a heart. It was very detailed and wonderful and the candy could go into the opening of the artery at the top. She got so excited about it that she showed it to some of the other doctors' children. They were all very impressed at it and were commenting on how cool it was when all of a sudden one of the other children starts laughing. This made the little girl very mad and she asked, "What's wrong with my basket?" He shook his head and laughed some more, "It's not your basket; I was just thinking of what would happen if my mom decided to make me a basket like that!" They all looked at him confused for a moment as he laughed some more. When he finally got his laughter under control he explained, "My mom's a gynocologist." The rest of the children's eyes grew very big and the proctologist's son fainted.
*Had to try very hard to keep from bursting out in laughter as she wrote that 'cause she's in the library*
rofl
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Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:22 am
How do bats usualy fly at night without directions?
-They usually just wing it.
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
-He was buttering up his teacher.
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
-He's all right now.
Have you seen Quasimodo?
-I have a hunch he's back!
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
-Bamboo.
Whats orange and smells like black paint?
orange paint! *halloween colors* I thought it was funny XD.
What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now?
-Decomposing
Why did the ghost cross the road?
-To get to "THE OTHER SIDE"
Why were there screams coming from the kitchen ?
-The cook was beating the eggs.
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