|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 7:52 am
He fringed the edge of the waterhole, his eyes switching from the distant dunes to the ripples in the water. The water was usually still, usually clear, but this morning two birds bathed in its shallows, knowing full well that it was not large enough to house anything that might harm them.
They seemed not to care that a lion was closing in on them, too busy splashing the water up over their backs to cool them as the morning tipped into noon.
Yet, they were right not to worry. Kidondo was not going to bother himself with hunting scrawny birds at this time of day. All he wanted was a cool drink and to lurk in the shade near the borders so he could keep an eye out for trouble.
No news was good news, they said. But he was becoming increasingly worried about the silence of the Traditionalists.
Maybe the battle truly had broken their spirit.
Either way, he paused and lowered his muzzle to drink. The water was warming under the sun and tasted slightly dirty from being stirred up, but it was good enough for the lion. He lifted his head, water dripping from his chin, and sighed deeply.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 8:02 am
Bubble- bubble
…
She liked how bubbles looked. They were strange things. Air was a strange thing. It rose up to the sun like so many other things. Things like birds. Souls, maybe. Funny that air went up- before that, she might have made a claim that it only blew side to side, like the hot wind on the desert. But, here it was proof that air went up.
But bodies didn’t. They went down.
Kaanga floated. As a cat, and not one that particularly cared for water, the feeling was almost unbearable. Water all over, in her ears, in her nose, in her eyes. No fish in this water, but then, she hadn’t seen the fish at all since late. But life knew well enough that if a lion was underneath the water, little good was coming from it.
Kaanga snorted, kicking up a few bubbles. What happened when you ran out of air? She didn’t know. Sometimes she wanted to know, but it always scared her away. In the end, she had to float back up with the rest of the air, and the darkness floated from beneath.
But in all reality- the watering hole was not deep enough for any sort of real danger. With a spurt, Kaanga stuck her head back up into the air, and sucked in a wild breath. Ophelia might have drowned in the waterbed, but Kaanga was not Ophelia. Not yet anyways. She coughed a few times and crawled back out onto the stones.
Mind was quiet. She liked that. But the rest of the earth wasn’t- she heard it groaning beneath her. Like a great turning beast.
“Kidondo,” She said before she really realized her was there; perhaps rements of some dream before. She turned her head and noticed him lapping at the water’s edge. Had he been there before? She squinted her dazed yellow eyes. Perhaps, but, maybe he floated up as well.
He looked a lot like their father. Of all their brothers, only he seemed to remain. Her heart hurt, and she looked away.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 8:16 am
The sound of the lioness emerging startled the birds.They took to the air with a wild screeching, droplets spraying from their pinions. Kidondo watched them go, wondering what had happened to startle them so. Then he turned his head and saw her.
Thus Kidondo was startled too.
He'd been wanting to see her desperately. Wanting to beg for forgiveness, to try and explain why he did what he did. He'd wanted to comfort her, tell her that it'd all be okay somehow. And yet at the same time he feared it. He feared the thought of bumping into her again, having to bring up the memories of their father's death.
Most of all he had feared that look in her eyes. That look she had given him that day.
And now she was turning away.
He reached out with a paw, almost as if to stop her, but it hovered their uselessly, not able to reach her. His throat felt tight, his chest ached and deep down he knew he had to say something.
But what?
What could he say to bring a smile back to her gentle, kindly face?
"Sister..." He winced and followed up. "Wait, don't go."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 8:24 am
She turned her head. Kaanga might have been a strange sort, but she was not vindictive. It hadn’t occurred to her that she’d startled him- or even that he’d been desperately seeking a chance [and fearing it all the same] to speak with her. But then, empathy had not been one of Kaanga’s strong points. Things racked at her mind with such a speed and lucidity that for all she knew and absorbed from thousand and thousands of places and things at all hours…. She rarely understood what was going on in front of her. In the real world. The place Kaanga lived was so stretched between half dreaming and not that it often seemed hard to tell which was which.
She looked to the water. She was a bit nervous too. She knew, and then she didn’t know what had happened. She knew it was time to change. She knew her father was doomed to die. She knew her brother would come home. But her sons… Uzulu- perhaps, Kidondo had come to drive her off as well.
“No fish in the water.” She commented blankly. Not surprising- there were no fish anywhere. In fact, Kaanga had never even seen one. “They’ve all gone away. He says don’t go, but, I think she does not know where to go.”
Her ears shifted nervously. “Saw the black cat, the other day. She was cleaning with bones. Never thought it would be dirty with all the black.”
And then, back to reality. She looked over to him and frowned. “Will you chase me away too, brother? Like the rest?” 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 8:33 am
Kidondo was aware that he'd never really known Kaanga very well - or any of his siblings for that matter. He knew it because when he looked into her face he couldn't tell what she was thinking, not at all. He knew she had been gentle and quiet, knew she had her odd tendencies. But he didn't know her heart, not properly.
Her comment took him off guard and the sadness in his eyes grew heavier. Fish? There had never been fish in the waterhole...not for as long as he could remember. In fact he'd rarely seen them outside of the lands either, though he'd not paid much attention to that sort of thing.
"Who says not to go?" He asked gently, though her next words also took him offguard. She'd seen No during one of her clean-ups? He was about to ask her about it when suddenly she looked up and their eyes met.
Pain shivered through his heart but he pressed it back with all the strength he could muster. "No, Kaanga." He shook his head, desperately. "I would never do that. Never." His words came with difficulty, his throat so tight that he thought he might suffocate.
"Kaanga..." A pause. "I'm sorry."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:46 pm
Kaanga's eyes veiled, and she shook her head slowly. "Should not feel sorry. Kaanga knows. Her mind is not good sometimes but...she knows." With a slowness, she moved towards her brother. "Change...had to happen. I know. I could hear it, but... my sons," her voice broke. "And Uzulu... and father..."
"Was not sure if Kaanga would be next." She whispered. "She never doubted you, but she could not turn from her family. I will not harm my family, not now and not ever. She cannot be strong like Kidondo and his black cat. She's not like that." Her face grew weak, and she trembled. In some way, Kaanga perhaps still lived on that day. She'd been living on that day since the day she was born.
"Things were not good before you came. Uzulu was a liar," She breathed weakly. "But a good father. Good father, and my son goes with him. Would kill Kaanga because she stays but...this is my home. Kaanga has never left home. Too many fish."
"...Could not even save slave babies for Mpaji." She sighed. "...Kaanga should be chased off, she thinks."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:39 am
“I knew…I knew from the moment that I made my decision to change the way things were, that someone would have to suffer.” He shook his head grimly. “Yet, even though I knew deep down that father would be one of those, I didn’t let myself think of it until I was faced with the moment.” He turned towards her and moved slowly forwards.
“But he was not the only one to suffer and neither was I. Many of those Firekin still suffer now, including you, Kaanga.” He took another step then hesitated. “Kaanga…you are strong. You are strong for staying when you could have let yourself go with them. You lost far more than I ever did.”
To lose a child…what a terrible thing.
He knew next to nothing about his sister’s relationship with this Uzulu and he decided not to question her about it. It seemed a difficult topic for her to deal with. But in him he could feel his protective instinct begin to rise. He wouldn’t let that male hurt his sister again if he could help it.
“You did your best. That’s all anyone can ever ask of you.” He took another step and lowered his head a little. “And I will never let anyone hurt you. We’re family and you are the only remaining sibling I have. I’m sorry, Kaanga, for everything. If these is ever anything I can do, please, don’t hesitate to ask me.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 11:32 am
His words crossed over her, but nothing on her strange face seemed to show she heard them. Her sons… everything that had happened was like a hurricane in her already troubled mind. In some ways, the saddest part of all was that Kaanga knew that the world she had envisioned herself living in never actually existed. Kidondo- he lived in the real world. It saddened Kaanga to think that despite all she could do, she never seemed to be able to amount to anything.
She turned her eyes to her brother finally, smiling weakly at his last comment. “Yes…all gone,” She spoke. “There were six, and I feel like I’ve never known them.” Kaanga breathed, breaking from her usual drift between logic and insanity. “But... I always knew you would come home.”
“Kaanga…isn’t sure who she is yet.” She admitted. “So much changing. But she will get better…”
“Although she is not sure when.” Kaanga breathed, her ears flattening against her head.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:49 am
“Just as I have never truly known you, sister. But I’ll try better. I promise. I’ll be the brother I should have been. There’s no more travelling or sneaking for me. I’m here now, for the pride and for you.”
He stepped closer, his eyes sad and sympathetic. She sounded so confused, so muddled. Yet even though he longed to help her it seemed something she needed to sort out alone. Either way, he’d be there to support her. He had to make up for past neglect.
“She will get better.” He smiled. “Just you wait and see. Things have changed and they will continue to change, but change is not always a bad thing. What’s important is that we go with it and accept it when change needs to happen.”
He closed the gap between them and moved his head to set his forehead to hers. “Wait and see. One day the sun will rise and the days will be brighter than ever before.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 6:29 am
She smiled weakly as his head pressed against hers. A pulse- connection. There had been a time where she’d said a similar thing to Uzulu, and the irony was not lost upon her. “She hopes so,” Kaanga breathed. “Not sure what more she can take from fishes and shadows.”
A pause, and she kept her head lightly against his. Although she was never alone with her wild and pulsing thoughts, she had never realized how much she missed contact with others. Ever since her mate and her had split she’d become somewhat like a stone in rough waters. Would father forgive them, she wondered? Did he know she had loved him? Did her son know she loved him?
“I believe you.” She said quietly.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:39 am
He rubbed his forehead against hers, hoping that somehow that small touch would be enough to chase away the demons for a while. He hated to think of his sister alone. It didn't seem fair. She, who was sweet and kind, should never have to suffer as she had.
"If you ever need me, you know where to look." He purred and, with a small step, backed up to glance at her.
He felt useless. He had no idea what to do or say and he did not want to repeat himself in case it only made things worse. She knew he was sorry. She knew she was wanted.
"I love you, Kaanga."
She needed something. What it was, he didn't know. Maybe it was something he could never give nor find for her. He just hoped that their short conversation had helped her along the way to healing. He hoped it had made a difference.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:22 pm
She nodded softly against her brother's head. He might not have felt useful- but just knowing someone remained; someone of her family... solidified her resolve to at least remain standing as best she could. The idea that she was wanted was enough to keep her, but even she didn't know what it would take to repair her back into the lioness she'd once been.
Did she want to be that person? Kaanga wasn't sure. But apart of her... a part of her wanted to still be naive to the world. To still love without questioning or pulling back in hesitation. It was so much easier to balance her delicate hold on sanity and madness when she was innocent.
Nowadays...it was very much a struggle.
"Thank you, Kidondo." She breathed. "I'm sorry she is so broken...but, I believe you. She will try to not listen to fishes anymore. Do not worry for Kaanga..."
And with that, she smiled softly. It hurt- it would probably always hurt but... for the first time in a while, the desert did not seem so dark.
[End~]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
