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 Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 6:47 pm
Really ... at some point... she should stop feeling sorry for herself. But that day wasn't too likely to be today. It was the same as every other day, for her.
The sun was up and it was a pleasant temperature... birds were singing... but Layilme saw none of it, nor did she care.
She just padded along quietly, watching the ground beneath her paws. She sighed softly, ears going back against her head for a moment. She really wished... that she wasn't so useless. Such a failure...
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Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 3:16 am
It had been such a very long time. He had searched endlessly, fruitless for so many months and still he had not found his sister. He had not lost hope in all this time, and granted, he was not about to now. But there were days - especially bad days - when he longed for her company and wondered if he would truly ever find her again. He was so unused to being so alone in the vast world, without her constant companionship, and though he had grown more accustomed over the months, the habits of a lifetime did not change so quickly.
He padded forward, with undying resolve, clinging on to that fragile hope that linked him to Viyana, and then he paused mid-stride. Not all too far off, he made out the shape of a lioness, with a pelt the shade of the night sky descending upon the earth. She was walking almost perpendicular to his line of travel, and for a moment he considered turning the other way. No use in unloading his own secrets on a stranger.
Yet something stayed his paw. He didn't quite know what it was. Perhaps it was the way she carried herself, or the way she kept her gaze riveted to the ground below her paws. Or, possibly, it was the way her ears flickered backward fleetingly. Something made him think twice. Here was a soul, he could instinctively tell, who felt more lost than he did. Far more lost and down, and he wondered if she could use some help. Perhaps someone to talk to.
His mind flitted to a memory, a meeting with a lioness with a coat brighter than the sun, and he remembered she had told him that he should give consolance out to those who needed it more often. He frowned slightly to himself. And if he was being intrusive? He didn't want to think that he had taken it upon himself to relieve another's burden where there was none. That was being to presumptive.
Yet, his instincts were telling him that perhaps... for once, it would do someone good if he would just think less and act. With another moment's slight hesitation, he picked his way forward again, heading toward the blue lioness.
"... Ex... cuse me..."
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 10:38 pm
Layilme jumped just slightly at the sudden voice, not having been paying much attention to her surroundings.
Going to get herself hurt or killed one day like that...
Shaking the thought away, she looked up, and blinked. Gods... this one could be kin to Phye'li...
It had been a long while since she saw her friend, and she wondered, suddenly, if something had happened to Phye as well. Why else would someone related to her seek out Layilme? Of course, she was jumping to conclusions, but just the thought of more tragedy made her hesitant.
Swallowing almost nervously, she replied, "Ah... hello."
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:12 am
She seemed nervous. Almost immediately, Djakovo wondered if he shouldn't have spoken up so suddenly. His brow furrowed momentarily at the thought. Perhaps Koi had been wrong after all.
"You..." He trailed off slightly, wonderering how best to phrase it. "Looked sad." He said finally, keeping as usual to saying as few words as he possibly could. It wasn't that he wanted to come over as abrupt of unfriendly. It was more the constant, crippling fear of saying the wrong thing and offending someone. It was always easier to speak less, decrease his chances of saying the wrong thing.
He could hear the hesitance in her voice, and wondered if it was because of him, or because of something else. It was likely because of him, he decided, though he wasn't about to ask and find out.
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:40 am
Strangely, that seemed to help somewhat and Layilme relaxed just a bit. Maybe not about Phye'li then... though she had to admit a part of her was getting tired of being told she looked sad. She was sad. And who wouldn't be, after all that she had been through?
"I ... well, that could be because I am," she pointed out softly - though there was no sting to her voice, just a sort of weary acceptance.
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Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 3:10 am
"You are," He echoed. Not a question, simply a statement, as if it were a stepping stone to whatever he was about to say next. "Strange, but you could tell me." He added, wondering if he had phrased it about right. It was difficult to truly express his ideas and emotions with the limited number of words he was willing to force out of his mouth.
"Been told I'm a good listener," He added for her benefit. And what a sacrifice he had made, for indeed that had been a good six words that he normally would have spared.
"You'll uh... feel better." He said as well. Now that was another three. He wondered what had gotten into him. Yet, much as he hated to admit it, he didn't feel completely averse to the thought of sitting there and listening to another pour their heart out to him.
He knew it wasn't something he would particularly love, but there was no part of him that truly quailed at the idea either, and for that he knew he deserved to be proud of himself. He was making progress.
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Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 11:21 am
What good did talking about it do? It didn't bring her family back ... it didn't undo all the mistakes she had made...
But he sounded as if he was really trying to talk to her for some reason, and Layilme wasn't the type to just brush that off.
So, with a little sigh, she softly confessed, "I've screwed up my life... Royally. I lost my family... my son was stolen from me. And I can't find him... no matter how hard I look. And then I ... I betrayed them, and then lost another cub... and I ..."
She broke off for a moment, head hanging. "Even if I find them again, how can I face them...?"
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