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 Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:49 pm
Well as most of you know I am a mom of way many years with my 5 babies and over the years with all of them the issue of sex always came into play. But since I have been on this site I have seen way more kids and I mean yes kids that talk about sex all the time. I would expect any of the teens that are 15/16 to be into it cause that is the time most tend to get a little wild but my question here is ..... At 11 and 12 should you really be having sex ?? And why do you feel you need to ??
I am not starting a debate here I just want to know and understand the newer generation a little bit more cause even when I was growing up - sex at 11 was not an issue - no one wanted to. What has happened in the last 30 years that has changed this ???
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 1:46 pm
The modern media is hellbent on throwing the scantily clad female form all over the place. They keep pushing the message that sex is cool and hip, even the damn commercials with what appear to be schoolkids talking about sex.
I'm just a twenty five year old guy, and I find all this sex on television and in movies completely unnecessary and inappropriate, to be honest I'm sick of it.
Unfortunatly, most of the males of this era enjoy this... this.... well, there's a guild rule on swearing (my opinion of which I will keep to myself) so I'll just say rubbish, so girls, and boys are being pressured more and more to have sex at a younger and younger age. How long before we hear about eight year olds, or younger (Light forbid) wanting to go on cam/meet up?
The very thought chills me to the core.
EDIT: I lost my virginity when I was 20, and kind of wish I had waited a bit longer, as I got stung due to her.... infedelity
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 3:01 pm
In my personal opinion, the proper age for kids to start having sex would be 15 if they're willing to accept any and all consequences. If you can't handle what might happen afterwards, such as a break up or finding out it was only meant to be a one night stand, then really, don't do it. Being mature enough to deal with those kinds of things and knowing you can play a big role, in my opinion, of when kids should start, well... You know.
What has changed is what Doctor pointed out. The media's glamoization of sex has grown to a disgusingly huge thing. It's sickening, really. As a girl, a critic, a cynic, a realist, and an all around not nice person, I'm revolted by the sex symbol that women have become. It makes me want to puke.
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Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 7:03 am
I'm a mom too and one of the things I always explained to my son was the emotional side of it. Are the kids involved ready for sex? Just because one is the other may not. Emotionally and mentally are the two biggest factors in my opinion. Sure the girl or boy might think they want sex because their hormones are screaming but are they mature enough to deal with the feelings involved? Are one of them just saying yes because they want to keep the relationship going? Will they think they are "in love" just because they had sex? I explained to my son to look for the signs that the time is right. Do you care about each other? Is she only doing it because he wants to? Will she feel raped after she's said yes because she really wasn't ready? I told him and many of his friends as they have gone through their teen years about girls that think they are in love and get pregnant on purpose. About the devestation of doing it and the shame associated with it if you're not ready. I know grown adults that have sex one time and think they are in love and he or she is the "one". I've told them take a step back before you scare the person away. Many define themselves by their relationships with no personal identity of their own. Sexually abused kids can go both ways and want sex all the time or none at all. God I could go on and on but know this. You need to find out who you are before you go jumping into bed with someone. If they are forcing you to be physical when you don't want to, drop them like a hot potatoe because they don't care about you. They care about themselves and that's it. Don't have sex unless you care about the other person or you both understand it's for the fun of it. None of this one-sided stuff. Be safe. Use a condom. No matter how much you want it. You don't want a baby. What you want and what you need is to grow intellictually, physically and emotionally. Travel, get educated, build a life for yourself before you have babies. Don't get stuck for the next 20 years without a decent job, a decent partner and nothing to look forward to. So here's a scenario. I want to have sex because I love you. Okay maybe you do love each other, but on some level you must understand that you are just starting your life. You might not "love" each other a month from now. Yes your care about each other and feel love but it's not the kind of love that is ready to raise children and get married is it? You're just kids after all. Your futures are before you with sunshine and storms and traveling and friends and so many ups and downs, both wonderful and beautiful and dark and depressing. Experience your lives. Don't ruin them. When you are ready for sex make sure both partners are on the same page and that you are safe. Now in answer to your question I feel that kids should at least wait until they are 16 to have sex and that's only if they are mature enough on an emotional level. 11 and 12 year olds have no business having sex and I'd lock them up and distract them with family and friends to get them back to where they should be thinking. They have no business necking even. They are children they have not reached puberty for God's sake! If your child is having sex at that age get them away from the friends that are promoting this kind of thinking. Sex is for adults not children. Definitely 16 or older depending on their emotional maturity. Take care.
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Jamais Changeant Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:08 pm
Personally I'm terrified that kids so young even know what sex is...and I'm not that old (18 ). My little eleven year old cousin just started middle school and she was telling me about an 8th grader who's pregnant! This is disgusting to me, because I'll bet that girl didn't understand what she was doing. So many kids see it as a right of passage or something...like you're only as cool as the number of flings you've had when sex should be something that's sacred.
Fifteen is an age that I still think is too young, but at least it's closer to an age where kids will actually understand what they do a bit more. Still...I've dated a few guys that tried to pressure me into it and I never fell for it. I don't understand the excuse of peer pressure. If you respect yourself you'll be able to say no easily. I said yes once and it was to the man that I've been dating for the last two years. We lost our virginity to each other and that's something that's very special to the both of us. We live together now and plan on getting married someday.
I think it's pathetic that people think that they have to play the field in that way. Sure, date around, but unless you see the relationship as being special don't sell your body like that.
Unfortunately, we're in an age where morals are far and few between. Infidelity is a practiced commonality and it's all over the television. Why should kids think it's sacred if they see so many examples of how unsacred it is? It's up to the concerned parents to tell their kids the truth, unfortunately we're running out of concerned parents as well.
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:26 pm
two words. parents and morals. we've entered into an age where a girl or boy will act bi just for the attention cuz that's the new fab. and parents, you hear about ten year old girls pregnant and not knowing the father.
(slightly off subject but also those 8 year olds beating their moms) because their parents either dont give a s**t, feel to awkward, or are to scared to teach their kids s**t about morals. i'm sorry but if your kids obese at 6. your fault!!! Pregnant at eleven. your fault!!!! also t.v. no 5 year old should see whore films. not all the parents fault but too much not to notice. well just my small thought. feel free to get mad at something.
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Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 1:19 pm
My "niece" is thirteen and am I glad she lives in a small town. Very few of her peers are considering sex. Even if the lot of them were sex crazed
I doubt she would go for it. She's really level headed. She understands that with the right person, at the right time sex can be great BUT she's all too aware of the downside.
Not just STDs and unwanted pregnancy but the why-hasn't-he-called crap too.
Bob Zero is quite right the reason this girl has a strong moral compass and half a brain in her head is because her parents raised her right. They have an open and honest
relationship with her, if the girl's got a question they give her a real answer. They do not sugar coat or gloss over anything.
Tanada - I love the way you approached the subject. The emotional aspect is often forgotten during "the talk"
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Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:56 pm
What I think about youth and sex is the fact that they are trying to grow up to fast, most of the time its emotional but when ever I here about it, its usually peer presure, having sex is cool etc... Movies and house holds can cause these sorts of predictaments. I am 20 years old and have kept my faith... surprising don't think I never thought of going down that road. But to have intercourse is to risk pregnacy and innocence. I am not saying it is on the extreme due to many people beliefs but I still find it unpleasant when middle school or even high school student drops out due to pregnacy or other simular responsibilities.
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:54 pm
Actually, I was 11 not that many years ago, and I have to say sex was definitely not on anyone's mind.
Kissing was still a big deal back then when I was, so actually it's something that has happened in the past few years, rather than 30.
Anyway, I'm 16 and I haven't had sex yet.
I just, don't feel the need to or anything. I can't say my boyfriend it perfectly happy with that, but if he doesn't like it, well I could easily find someone who has more respect for me. I mean, there is always the possibility of something happening, and I know at the age I am and the life I live, a child or a disease is just something I couldn't handle.
The friends I have that are my age though, a decent amount of them have had sex, although with them it was something that has really only happened within the past year, maybe two.
Now, a friend of mine's younger sibiling is 14 now. He has told us all these stories of everything that's been going on with his age group since he started middle school a few years ago. I have to say, I'm still shocked by the things he tells me.
How many of them were having sex already, when he first started!
I really just don't think that's appropriate at that age at all. You really just, don't know what you're doing. You don't know the risks involved and there is no way you could have the maturity level for that.
Thankfully, I haven't heard any stories about any pregnant 12 year olds from him.
Anyway, to fully answer your question, I think once you are responsible enough to handle it, its fine. Although, I definitely think that you are that responsible until 16, at the very least.
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 3:38 am
Master of the Seas...
I extremely dislike that the media is making it look"Cool" to become sexually active at such a young age. I've caught friend's little siblings talking about sexual active on the phone; but who can blame them, you turn on any T.V. or go on websites not made for younger children, you get something sexual, or provocative. The age in which I think children should start having sex is, if you're married perchance at this age and can handle kids and a Wife, 16. ...Poseidon
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 7:49 pm
The church always says "save it for marriage"
Well, some people can't wait that long and they have very powerful urges...
The age I think kids should be having sex..or at least experimenting with it a little, is at either 16 or 17...
Once you get out of college and get a place of your and all that then you can go on the bigger and better things....but while you're still a little wet behind the ears, you should just do very minimal stuff (i.e. foreplay, etc.)
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Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:34 pm
It's true, sex in these days at younger ages is not only immoral, but unhealthy, both physically and mentally. But we've had so many scientific advances these days, girls are maturing so quickly that we have eight year olds who look like they're sixteen. My nine year old sis acts like an eighteen year old and flaunts about wearing miniskirts and kissing boys. I mean, she may mean it all in innocence, but she really ends up in that situation, there's no way she'll be able to handle it- she can barely spell 'whose' and still asks for help with her math homework. Why does the media think that it's okay for an innocent like her to have sex?!
I mean, I'm not a virgin and I'm only sixteen. And I wasn't lucky enough to choose like my sis eventually will; I was sexually abused by a relative when I was her age. And I only JUST stopped trying to kill myself, but I still have relapses. I can barely stand it being alone in a room with a guy and I was mature for my age back then. Imagine the consequences on the younger generation, considering the undeniably maturity (mental-wise) downturn and rising physical maturity the new generation is experiencing.
I can be talking to my friends and making a sex pun, then when their little sibling comes in, I shut up instantly for the kid's sake. Surprise, surprise when the said kid says that they already know what I mean.
I may still be young, but I know that even I have a responsibility to protecting kid's from this stuff. I think that it's best to learn to avoid these things as young as possible. I couldn't fight back until I learned what was happening to me in the first place, years after it began. Kids these days won't fight their urges until they know the absolute seriousness of the consequences. Don't just say that they'll get AIDS if they have sex and die; you need to explain, as unpleasant as it is, that AIDS is a horrible and painful death, as is most STDs. Sometimes, experience is NOT the best teacher.
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 6:54 am
You guys are one of many. Sex has become too much of a commonplace for talks amongst the school public. Luckily, you all didn't have to go to schools where sex was your social status. Ugh...it was so annoying hearing all that. Then you didn't want to go out with anybody because you never even knew who they were with and what they've done. It was ridiculous.
TV, however, is not to blame. It is a contributor the problem, but not the main event. Many of you on here have already touched base: parenting. Parents, themselves, are not to blame, it is the discussions they have that are.
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 6:46 pm
I will forgive . . .
Well us kids today feel thats its just like the normal thing to do. Everyone does it and kids don't think that it'll result in a child. Its like sometimes while I'm at school and I see all these couples getting it on in the public and it makes me feel like I need to do that to to be accepted. But I'm still a virgin, and I'm 14. In my school you can't go into a hallway without seeing a pregnant girl or a girl who just had a kid.
I still have no intention of loosing my virginity while I'm in high school.
. . . But I won't forget
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 10:25 pm
When I was in high school (3 years ago), it was standard practice to consider someone a loser if they had not lost their virginity as of age 16 and just a flat out failure at life if they hadn't lost it by 18/last half of senior year. By the same token, you were also considered a loser if you hadn't kissed a girl (I'm obviously presenting this from a male perspective because I am...you know...male) by entrance to high school and a failure at life if you hadn't done it by 16. Of course, there were always the few individuals claiming to "save it for marriage," but in all honesty, those people were rare and the amount of them not using it as a crutch because they couldn't get any were even rarer. If it was known that you were a virgin and people didn't buy your excuse (sometimes they bought the "saving it for marriage" line, sometimes they didn't), it would typically bring you active harassment for being a loser, exclusion from any and all defined cliques (except maybe the "loser" group), and just ostracism in general.
Since I graduated, I think the age for "acceptable" virginity loss among the kids has actually gone down, though as that's based merely on rumors from a couple people I know who still go to school there, I can't say for certain at all.
My point here is that I don't think the problem lies in kids having sex. The problem lies in the fact that young people suck - if it wasn't sex that kids were being pressured into by their peers, it'd most likely be some other form of socially-touchy behavior. The core problem, in my opinion, isn't that kids are not taught to approach sex responsibly; the core problem is that kids seem to have some natural proclivity for setting up some inane system by which to judge the worth of their peers and, if necessary, weed out the social undesirables. Until we can convince young people to stop doing that (see also: good ******** luck with that one), the core problem won't be solved at all.
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