Welcome to Gaia! ::

It is unclear when my descent into madness began. I’m sure it was before I discovered the depth of human emotion; before I was faced with a desire so strong it tore me apart on the inside. And yet I still cannot be sure when.

Or perhaps it was because of my love. A love that could never be reciprocated because his heart was drawn to another. I suppose it would be logical if that were the case – a feeling so strong and so true it drove me into insanity when I kept it stored away, the key buried so deep the lock could never be undone.

Or maybe it was just my destiny to be this way. I was taught that God has a plan for all of us, a plan that we follow against our better judgment. After all, what can we do that wasn’t initially part of His Grand Design? If that is the case, it was my fate to end up this way. If that is the case, I had no choice.

But maybe time changes all of us. Time has already changed me in incomprehensible ways. Perhaps this is just one more transformation to endure before my life will come to a close, and time will matter no more.

But the reason has no place in my condition. It is simply a detail – a detail so unnecessary I laugh at its triviality. All that matters is that this is what I have become. All it took was one snap. That’s it. And now here I am – standing over them like two butchered pigs.

My parents, though they can hardly be called that.

Their hearts were still pulsing in my hand, whatever blood left in them spurting out of them rhythmically. They were even in synch with each other. I humphed. I always knew my parents were meant for each other but this went too far.

Their heads were a few feet from the bodies by my feet. They were lovely – the twin faces of aristocracy. Their faces were set in permanent countenances of shock and horror. It was truly amusing – two expressions I would never forget to forever give me pleasure.

And I looked at everything I’d done – with no more than a butcher knife and my bare hands.

And laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed.

So it was final. Maybe I would never be loved. Maybe I would go to Hell. Maybe I was forever destined to play this game. Maybe time hadn’t changed me. But I was mad. And it made me laugh.