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 Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:53 am
by Matt Seraph & Samantha Lyon
Yes, it's true. I, Matt "The God" Seraph, have become an EEW Superstar. In light of that, I can't really continue using my old Uncontracted and Uncensored blog, now can I? By the way, this blog is shared with Samantha, but she's already in Canada working promotion for the PPV (and filming a video package that'll air on the show), so she'll probably do the Anarchy Rulez write-up...with comments from me, of course. I mean, never trust a woman to do a good job, am I right? (I kid, I kid. Samantha is sometimes halfway competent.)
Speaking of Anarchy Rulez, I personally can't wait. My debut EEW match, or, should I say, my first win? Seriously, the only way this would be easier is if I didn't have an opponent. I'm actually pretty curious to see who's so far in the doghouse that Jaydan's going to feed them to me. And while we're on the subject of bitches, Samantha's got a match too, so wish her luck I guess. (Damn, that was a good segue.)
Anyway, as before, the floor's still open for you, the unwashed masses, to communicate with two heavenly beings such as myself and Samantha, so our adoring fans can send us lavish praise and you homos who don't support us can get humiliated in front of the entire web.
Matt Seraph on Burn. It's going to be one hell of a ride.
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 12:51 pm
Dear Matt,
You are such a hypocrite! In your previous blog you mention how terrible EEW is yet you immediately jumped at the chance to join them when offered a contract!
What made you change your mind?
From
Wilcher Bromley
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 4:01 pm
Dear Wanker:
Isn't hypocrite kind of a big word for you, junior? Besides, I never said EEW was terrible...all I said was the wrestlers suck and their fans are idiots. I've remedied the first problem by joining the roster myself, and you're a shining example of the second.
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 5:37 pm
Dear Matt,
Please please... PLEASE!! Tell me your not like some of these wrestlers who talk big but as soon as you step into the ring you end up being your opponent's *itch. Please don't disappoint me!!
Karen Attwood
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 7:16 pm
Matt S.
Aren't you worried about the strange figure up in the Rafters that threatened to snatch up Samantha? I mean it's pretty obvious that this person has abilities far beyond a normal human being.
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:43 am
Karen: Don't worry, Matt "The God" Seraph never disappoints. Ask Samantha, she knows better than anyone cool When I debut at Anarchy Rulez, it's gonna go something like this: my opponent's going to get in the ring, I'm going to hit him with the Jericho Effect, and it's going to set a record for shortest match in EEW history.
Person Who Forgot To Leave A Name (AKA Cockfag): What the ******** are you smoking, and where can I get some? If anybody tries to screw with me or my girl, they're going down quicker than Samantha used to upon seeing a five dollar bill.
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Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 12:15 pm
Dear Loser,
How long do you think it would take for me and Dark Saint to find you and rip you apart? How's it feel to be abused on your own blog?
-John Cardok
P.S.-This blog has officially now been saved by The Cardok-Saint Connection.
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Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 10:52 am
Dear Ramblow:
I think it'd take you a good long time, actually. Probably about sixty years. Hell, the only way you'd ever beat me at anything is if you somehow cryogenically froze yourself, then thawed out in like 2083 and tried to fight me in my mansion in Florida (yeah, I'm gonna have a mansion in Florida; how many mansions do you have again?), and even then, I'd beat the s**t out of you, you no-talent f*****t. Anytime, anyplace, b***h. After I'm finished with Adam "The b*****b" Mastrocola, I'll gladly ******** you up.
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Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 10:58 am
Seraph and Lyon
What do the two of you think of the whole WWFG/EEW War going on? And how do you remain confident after what happened to Steve Sparks last Monday Night Burn?
Muramasa Saiko
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Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 12:48 pm
I don't know about my more-than-slightly retarded girlfriend, but personally I don't think EEW vs. WWFG is a big deal. I mean, I'm not involved, how big can it be? It's just a power struggle between a couple of a** pirates, not that important.
As for Steve Sparks, he had it coming. He thinks he's this big-shot legend, but all he is is a punk b***h who got lucky winning a couple titles. Like I said to that f*****t Cardok, after I'm done with Mastrocola, take a number and get in line.
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 4:29 pm
I guess somoene who can't even protect his own Girlfriend from a Supernatural Whacko can't be expected to be trusted to participate in a match that decides who runs this company, Ne Stone-kun? and Espicially someone who doesn't know Steve Sparks was a Manager before that same person well..you saw what happened, or perhaps you didn't. At which point I have to laugh, Since it'd explain why you're so cocky.
Tenguzawa Kurohi
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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 8:07 am
Dear Matt:
What exactly was up with you interrupting in the GM Barker-Nuke Fusion match?
Is there something planned?
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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 12:44 pm
I love how nobody's addressed a question to Samantha yet...although it's for the best. Seriously, doesn't that b***h know that women should just stand there and look good? Men are talking. Anyway, I guess I'll answer some questions, since the Jets are totally ******** killing the Rams...kind of like I'm gonna do to Chrono at the Birthday Show.
Dear Weeaboo:
I guess someone who can't even get my name right can't be expected to be anywhere near intelligent. So I'll say this in a way you can understand; you were an accident. Seriously, were your parents related? I honestly couldn't care less who runs this company; I'm getting wins and paychecks either way. Oh, and it's 2008, we have something called spell check now. f**.
Dear Other Guy: You see, Travis Nightsky thinks he's so badass because he's a free agent. Well, I'm bringing badass back, real badass. If you think I'd do something without a plan, then I suggest you get your eyes checked because there's no way you've been reading this blog correctly. To sum it up, yeah, there's something planned, and it's gonna flip EEW on its a**.
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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:07 pm
What exactly are you doing here Samantha? You can do a lot better than some Closet case punk's Sidekick can't you? I let you go because I've actually got some respect for you, not for Matt or Chro-Chan's sake.
Speaking which, Matt do you mean to say you're going to put on tight pants and jump on Chrono while hugging him?
From Up in the Rafters.
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:33 pm
Dear Up In The Rafters:
I'm not a sidekick! Would a sidekick have a major championship opportunity a week after signing a contract? Actually, if you wanna get technical, if I was a sidekick I'd just stand there and look pretty (which I'm damn good at, by the way).
But, y'know, thanks for letting me go xd
By the way, everybody, figured I'd announce this while I'm answering questions: I have new entrance music, by one of my favorite bands, no less!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93IrXRdGxfI <- I'm coming out to that at the Birthday Show. It's gonna be a great moment, you might wanna DVR it and watch it like fifty thousand times.
- Samantha
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