Welcome to Gaia! ::

♥ So, since I just joined here I figure I might as well show y'all what I can do. Actually, this little bit that I'm about to post is more like, what I can't do. This is the introduction, or pre-prologue for the first novel, Purple Mist, in my current trilogy. Exos: The Blonde, The Bad, and The Artificial is set in the land of Exos, where purple is the colour of royalty, and also of Magic. Suspicion and fear is high, rumours whipping like wildfire, and in the middle we have four young girls. A tricky combination of events lead them to discover new, and often alarming, things about themselves.

None of the novels have been edited, nor will they be until I've written all three of them, so this is still pretty rough.

I guess, I hope you enjoy it anyway. ;3 Comments, as always, are more than welcome. I'll post more if anybody wants it. ^^



The sky was dark with the pressing rain that fell from the heavens like slates of icy glass. All across the county of west Eula thunder rumbled and lightening split the sky, leaving glowing fire-hot trails in the clouds behind it. A woman, young and tired, was mounting the last of the hill which sloped from the town beneath Karajack, her clothes were dripping and her hood useless against the raging storm. She was pale beneath her dark cloak, with golden hair plastered to her forehead and her cheeks bluish from the cold. She was shivering.

The earth was sodden beneath the woman’s feet as she trudged uphill, across the final stretch of land before Karajack Castle, and her flat, sensible shoes sank into the mud with each step she took. She was so close now, to her victory that she could almost taste it, like iron in her mouth. It had been a long journey.

The castle loomed overhead, grey and hulking against the ever darkening sky, and yet she was glad to be beside it sheltered from the storm. She headed for the doors first, and pressed her perished hands to the wood. It was wet beneath her fingers, but warmer than she expected; she was not so lucky with the door-knocker, her fingers stiffened as they brushed the cool metal, and she slammed it against the door heavily.

“Dee!” she screamed as loudly as she could. Her whole body shuddered with the effort, and her words were whipped from her lungs and into the wind with barely more than a second for them to be heard. “Dee! Open the damn door!”

It was five minutes later, perhaps, or a little more when the door finally opened. The woman brushed her hood from her head and stood in the doorway proudly. A man answered the door, unfamilar with a long face. He raised his eyebrows questioningly at her, but she only growled at him angrily.

“You tell her to get down here,” she threatened. “You tell her that I’m here to see her. If she knows what’s good for her she’ll come down and greet me herself. Tell her she’s to come down or I’ll go in there and get her myself.” Her words were barely more than whispers against the thunder outside, but loud nonetheless. The man stood his ground.

“And what should I tell her is your purpose?” the man asked pertly, his nose raised and gloved hands ready to close the door in her face.

“She should damn well know why I’m here,” the woman swore, “but you- you tell her I’m here to take what she took from me. You tell her I’m here for my revenge.”

“Yes. I’ll tell her.” The man then gave her an impertinent smirk and closed the door in her face.

Thank you. =O

I'm sure it's not, though. XD

I don't know whether to post another chapter. Whether it will be worth it or not. :/

Thank you. :3 The introduction, though, is probably the best bit of the whole novel. It's all downhill from here. xd

I'll probably update over the next few days. =O
It's about time I revived this thread some more...

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Very descriptive Prologue you have here, PMS! Made me kinda squirm a bit in my seat, but that's b'c childbirth and anything involving inner organs (geeze, I got icked-out in basic Health class!) unsettles me.

Anyway, I am even more curious to see where this story is going, and what will happen between all of these different characters. 3nodding

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I've got little else to do, so, here we go. I guess. XD There are lots of mistakes, so feel free to point them out, but you should know that it's not been edited. I haven't even read over this since I wrote it in the summer. It needs work. All of it does. XD



“Ellette! Ellette, get in the cab!” Calina stuck her head out the window, her fair curls hanging over the side of the hansom in contrast with the smooth black surface of the door. “Come on Ellette, we’re going to be late!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Ellette grumbled. She appeared through the front door of the house with her luggage dragging on the floor behind her, her back bent almost double as she struggled to cart the bags from the house to the cab.

“Get Jolas to do that,” Calina instructed her. “That’s what we’re paying him for, isn’t it?”

“But they’re heavy,” Ellette protested, dumping her bags down in the dusty gravel and straightening up. “Far too heavy, actually. I don’t know why you insisted I bring all of this stuff, I’m sure I won’t need it all.”

“No, I have no idea why I did, and I don’t care.” Exasperated Calina flipped her hair back inside the cab, opened the door and climbed down. Her dress caught on the bottom step but she manoeuvred with relative ease and joined her sister. “Letty, if we don’t get in that cab now, and drive away, then we’re going to be late. We’ll miss rooming, and then we’ll end up in some over-crowded dormitory with all the rest of the rabble.” Calina scowled; Ellette was looking at her with that look on her face, the look that said something along the lines of ‘I’ve heard all this before and you know I don’t care’.

“Yes, you said,” Ellette replied tartly. “It’ll take us three days to get there, Calina, for Mif’s sake don’t start that again.”

Calina sighed. Why were sisters always so difficult?

“Look, if you object so severely to having Jolas loads your bags, then let me help you.” Ellette nodded and moved over. Together they each grabbed one of the bags and hauled them to the side of the cab. Here Ellette gave Calina a rather apologetic look.

“Maybe we should get Jolas to lift them on there,” she admitted sheepishly. “Those clothes are heavier than they look.”

“I told you,” Calina said with a small smile. She always won in the end. “You go and get in the cab, I’ll get Jolas.”

Once the bags were loaded onto the cab, and both Calina and Ellette were safely in the cab, their father came to the door. He was unshaven, his mop of unruly blonde hair was in his eyes, and he looked pale and drawn. He crossed the gravel drive like a vampire in the sun, shielding his eyes from the sun as the worst of his hangover from the night before took hold.

“You’re going then,” he said rather curtly. Calina nodded. “Oh, good bye.”

“We said farewell last night, Papa,” Ellette reminded him. He snorted.

“I can’t remember that far back.”

“It was only last night.”

“Last night was a long time ago,” Ler snapped. “You’re going then,” he repeated.

“Yes.”

“Good bye.”

“You already said that,” Ellette reminded him. Calina rolled her eyes and sat back in the cab, leaning her head against the worn velvet seat. Their father had been going downhill for years with his drinking, and his gambling, but last night must have been the worst, or the best, night he’d had in a long time. He hadn’t stumbled through the door until it was almost five o’clock in the morning, and now the dark circles of skin around his eyes and the little red veins that mottled his eyeballs told the story of his alcohol consumption worse than ever.

“But we’re going now, Papa,” Ellette was saying as the conversation continued. “We’ll write to you, shall we?”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fool.”

“I’m not. Do you want us to write to you?”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t. Go now, you’re going to be late.”

“Fine.” Ellette sat back in the cab and crossed her arms over her chest huffily.

“Goodbye Papa,” Calina said, and then she waved her fingers daintily out the window the cab so Jolas could see that they were ready. He was a man from Ugas City, short and stout with a curled moustache. Calina didn’t much like him, she thought he wasn’t particularly trustworthy and she didn’t relish the idea of him driving them the good many miles to the Itur University campus, but there was nobody else and he would have to do. Ellette, being the usual kind-hearted soul said that every man deserved a chance. Calina had snorted at that. He was a loser.

The cab jolted away almost immediately after that, and from their opposite sides of the transport the girls stuck their heads out of the windows and waved goodbye to their father. Ler stood in the same spot as he had been stood in before, with one hand stuffed deep into the pockets of his dirty, creased trousers and the other shielding his face from the sun. He didn’t even bother to wave. Calina kept her head out of the window for as long as she could still see him, that is, until they rounded the corner that would take them down the slope into Ugas City and then she climbed regally back inside the cab and settled back against the seat.

It wasn’t until they had been travelling for a good ten minutes that Ellette finally decided she was going to sit down like a proper lady should, and when she did sit down she looked as though she had just undertaken a five mile walk through Eula and the desert country; her dark hair was windswept and her straight-cut fringe was lopsided. Calina sighed. At just sixteen years old her sister was still only a child, her face was full and her eyes sparkled with a kind of joy that Calina has seen in few other people she had ever known. Ellette saw Calina frown at her and reached up to brush her hair back into place.

“I wish Papa wouldn’t drink so,” she murmured softly as she sorted out her appearance. Calina reached into her small handbag and pulled out a mirror. Handing it to her sister she shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter what we think,” she said. “You know what Papa is like. He’s as stubborn as a mule and about as ill tempered too.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I can’t wish he wasn’t otherwise,” Ellette replied. She shook her head and her hair finally fell into place. She handed Calina back her mirror, and moved so that she was sitting opposite her sister.

“No, but I wish you wouldn’t spend all of your time wishing, Letty. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us now, and today was supposed to be a new beginning. Instead of excitement, though, it seems as though you’d rather be off somewhere else doing something entirely different.”

“That’s hardly my fault, is it Calina? I never said that I wanted to go away from home. I think you know I’d be quite happy just to stay at home with Papa-”

“And your prayers and your God, I know I know,” Calina cut her off. “I’m just trying to say: Papa doesn’t want us around, so I don’t know why you can’t just get used to it. We’re going to University, and that’s final. That was Papa’s idea and Mother’s wish for both of us.”

“She never even knew me,” Ellette retorted, turning away from Calina and staring out of the window. “How can you say that this is her wish?”

“I knew her, and she knew me. That’s enough.”

Ellette shook her head and refused to turn back inside the cab. Calina took a moment to watch her, always fascinated by their differences; Ellette’s dress was grey and sombre and she sat with her hands clasped in her lap like a small child. Calina wondered what she was thinking, and if she was angry with her. She could never tell what Ellette was feeling, even after all of these years of looking after her. She sighed, and for once wished that as sisters they could be more alike. What would it be like to have a sister you could talk to? What would it be like to have a sister who was just like you? She couldn’t have been more different than her younger sister, who was morally true and pure and pious in her faith. Calina couldn’t see how a person could receive so much joy from something so simple and boring, or why Ellette should want to shun their society heritage to follow a life of religion.

“I’m sorry if you don’t want to go,” Calina apologised finally. “I can’t help it though, it was Father’s decision in the end. He doesn’t want us around, does he? He hates us.”

“He hates you,” Ellette said, turning from the window. “He hates you and he avoids me, and I don’t even know what I’ve done.” Her pale face was sad as she turned inwards to sit more comfortably. “And now I won’t be able to find out, because we won’t be there.”

“Maybe you’ll find something else, instead?” Calina suggested. “Maybe there’s more to life that just putting right all the wrongs.”

“For you.” Ellette was silent for a moment, fiddling with her fingers in her lap, and then she looked up and stared Calina right in the eye. “I’m not like you, I don’t want this. I just want to- Well- I don’t know what I want to do. I want to find out, I guess. I don’t want society though, not like you. I’m not like that; I can’t dance around in high heels and fancy dresses and pronounce my words how I should. I can’t even stand up straight in your dresses.” Here she smiled, as though she had been struck by some amusing memory. “I just don’t want to miss Papa, Calina.”

“I know. Maybe University will be a nice change of scenery though? It’s only for a few years, and then we can go back home. I think it will do us both good to get out there and meet new people, especially you. I already know a lot of people.”

Ellette rolled her eyes and then laughed, “Alright, sure. Maybe you’re right. I suppose we can’t judge it either way until we get there, right?”

“Right.”

“Good.”

“Whatever.” Calina smirked at her sister, and then laughed aloud. She was glad that Ellette was so open-minded- at least with everything that didn’t come down to religion- because maybe this way she might be able to make her time at Itur University the best years of her life. That was what she wanted, really. The University was supposed to be a place where everything happened, and it was supposed to be a time of your life when you learnt things about yourself that might never have known before. Most of all, though, Calina wanted the adventure and the new clarity that was supposed to come after a person finally decided what they wanted out of life.

Calina wasn’t sure what Ellette was going to get out of being in formal education, nor was she sure whether Ellette was going to enjoy it all that much, but she was determined that she was going to make it as easy for her sister to adjust as possible. Ellette was the kind of girl who needed a lot of help, and Calina was sure that she needed to be there for her. At first she had wished that Ellette were staying at home; after all, who wanted a child sister following them around and cramping their style? However, after some deliberation and many arguments with their father over the matter, both of the Roe girls were going to University, and maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. This way, Calina reasoned, she could keep an eye on her sister who she knew was inclined to sway too easily to viewpoints presented in her direction by other less trustworthy people. Ellette, Calina decided, needed her, and so she was going to be there for her. Whether she liked it or not.

Haha, I don't mind! I'm afraid all of my chapters are a little long (even when they're split up into their various little sections, like this one is only part one of chapter one, lol). I can split them up for you though, if you'd like. :3

And thank you for reading! I'm really glad you're still interested (because don't worry, you can stop reading at any time xd Most people do because I think generally this novel is... I dunno. I think you have to have a certain taste in characters, plot, style, the lot. XD) I really appreciate the feedback.

I'm not too good with feedback either, but because your chapters are a lot shorter than mine, it's easier for me to focus on them. =3 I just like to be awkward. Haha.

I think because I think in terms of published novels most of my work has this kind of lengthy chapters. In fact, that first chapter was probably one of the shortest. sweatdrop But like I said, I can split them up when I post, because that's not too much trouble.

I guess it's just how the novel works. It IS a full-blown novel, sitting at somewhere around 136k long. xd

*is a loser*

Yet, the internet is the only place I can ever find feedback. It's a sad, vicious cycle. :]

I've never had somebody read through my chapters this quickly though. Thank you very much. whee People take weeks to get through the first little bit usually. I really appreciate it. x3

Hehe, well you certainly have very strong writing skills, so I don't think that's the problem! You can do it. I think sometimes it's not only the enjoyment you need by the sheer determination not to get sidetracked by something else. With this trilogy I've experienced some of my most horrifying blocks, no joke. The first novel was easier than the second and took me two months to finish. Though, even then I had massive doubts about most of it (and still do) because I wanted it to work so much. I just forced myself to keep writing, a little something every day no matter how little, and eventually I made it to the end.

This second novel I'm working on now has been a lot harder. I started that in August and wrote on it solidly until October, when I stopped to take part in NaNoWriMo with a new novel. By mid-October I was ready to throw the novel away. At 80,000 words it was the most emotional thing I'd ever written, and just sitting down to write it was sapping my strength. In fact, I can say that after a four month break that's still the same, but I'm so determined to finish this trilogy that I will do anything to keep going, even if that means torture myself. XD I'm hoping that because it's taking so much effort to write, it will be apparent when it's read. ninja If not, I'll have wasted all of my creative energy for nothing. sweatdrop

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